Paramount seems very serious about actually making a Baywatch movie. So serious in fact, that they’ve now brought on five writers to capture the elusive tone on the master work. Brian Gatewood and Alessandro Tanaka (who wrote Jonah Hill’s The Sitter) have been brought in to polish drafts from The Break-Up‘s Jeremy Garlick and National Security writers Jay Scherick and David Ronn. It’s said the film is to be in the vain of the Charlie’s Angels revamp with more of a focus on female action (read: jiggliness).

Though no director or castmembers have been hired, we already know where this thing is going. Heidi Montag to star and Zack Snyder to direct. Both are masterful at capturing slow-motion running for different reasons. I’d imagine David Hasslehoff would make some kind of appearance as no actor alive can perform mouth to mouth on a cheeseburger as well as he can. Well, maybe Vince Vaughn could. (THR)