If there was an actual Hollywood Hunger Games, Danny Trejo would be such a heavy favorite to win that I don’t think bookies would even take bets. The guy is badass through and through. He’s become something of a fanboy icon in the past decade, but even before that, he was just known as the really tough Mexican guy that you were scared to even make eye contact with onscreen.

Bartender – From Dusk Till Dawn

Trejo makes for a very fitting face of the Mexican biker/trucker/vampire bar the Titty Twister. After giving the boot to Keitel and company for not being truckers nor bikers, he is one to listen to reason when Harvey presents him with his commercial drivers license. However, the reason doesn’t last long. Once the band plays, all hell breaks loose and the hulking Danny Trejo turns into super-hulking Danny Trejo, until he’s laid down by Clooney and Co. in one of the most delightfully random heel-turns in modern movies.

Bartender – Anchorman

He plays a no-nonsense bartender pretty damn well. Well enough that even his few lines in the film don’t only convey his badass nature, but show that he’s pretty enlightened in telling Ron that he’s gotta wake up to the gender equality movement that’s going on.

While the phrase “warrior poet” gets thrown around a lot these days, screw it: He’s a warrior poet.

Robert Rodriguez is putting together a sequel to 2010‘s Machete, titled Machete Kills, with the hopes to begin filming in April. Deals are being worked out now to see Danny Trejo return as the gut-spilling avenger. Just whose guts will Machete use as a climbing rope this time? Well, in the sequel he is recruited by the U.S. Government for a mission only he can accomplish. A Mexican cartel leader has teamed with a billionaire who intends to destroy the Earth with a weapon in space. He’s just like James Bond but pockmarked.

Does that mean Machete is headed to space? Eventually. Machete Kills is actually the second film in a planned trilogy – or Trejology. The final film in the series will be titled Machete Kills Again… in Space. Now that’s film-making. (Deadline)

Well, pretty much anyone can portray Frankenstein. I could get a Golden Globe nod for my performance if the director just gave me three Xanax, a 1″ lift in my right shoe, and a burn on the roof of my mouth with a Bagel Bite just out of the oven. So with the playing field being equal, it comes down to looks.

“What has two thumbs and sort of looks like Frankenstein? These guys!”

Truthfully, though, I wouldn’t be surprised if Trejo was missing a thumb.

9. Matt Dillon

He may be in a tie with #8 for the best-looking guy on this list, but still Frankenstein-esque. He also speaks with a deep enough voice that when I’m watching Wild Things while writing (which is most days), I sometimes get startled and need to look up to reassure myself that Denise Richards and Neve Campbell aren’t having a threeway with Frankenstein, because that would just drive me up the wall with sexiness.

8. David Boreanz

Photo generously on loan from the Penn Collins private collection.

Bones could be Frankenstein. I’m aware that Bones is actually the girl on the show of the same name, but it’s just easier for me if I call everyone on that show Bones, as it prevents me from having to learn anything about the show Bones.

7. Danny Trejo

Danny Trejo looks like he has been stitched together a la Frankenstein, complete with baseball glove-type skin. I don’t think Frankenstein had a tattoo on his chest, but the news of Levy’s attachment doesn’t say when the film is set. 2011 Frankenstein in Williamsburg, Brooklyn could totally have a chest tattoo.

“Frankenstein need pick up American Spirits before Frankenstein go ironic barbecue.”

Fans of gritty badassitude, which I hope you are, will also likely be fans of this team-up: Danny Trejo and “Sons of Anarchy.” The Machete star joins FX’s motorcycle drama as Romero “Romeo” Parada, a charmingly kickass Mexican military man who will pal around with the SAMCRO crew. He also recently guested on ABC’s”Modern Family,” but I didn’t see the episode. I assume him and Grandpa Al Bundy came to blows. (TVLine)

Meanwhile, Mos Def will do Showtime‘s “Dexter,” and by that I mean he’ll star on the actual show, not do his own sweded version. The actor / rapper will play a newly religious ex-con in multiple episodes. However, violence still seems to follow him wherever he goes, despite claims of being reformed. He joins previously announced Colin Hanks as one of the new season’s villains. (Hollywood Reporter)

“Austin will portray an ex-cop who’s life is ripped apart when his family is viciously murdered. He then makes it his life’s passion to find those responsible and serve up his own kind of justice. Trejo portrays a cold-hearted killer who is seeking his own vengeance against the ex-cop over the murder of his brother.”

What will happen when these two titans meet each other in the squared circle on the big screen? Only time will tell. I just hope the people at Cannes are all stocked up on steel chairs. (Variety)

Call Of Duty: Black Ops Escalation–Call of the Dead is an add-on that lets you play a zombie-killing game starring Danny Trejo, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Michael Rooke and Robert Englund. They released a fun, Grindhouse-style trailer above, complete with retro titles, film burn effect and a voice over that sounds right on the zombie money.

George Romero stars as a zombie boss, which I guess is a nice homage to the genre creator, although… I dunno. It’d be like playing a Star Wars game where a main boss is George Lucas. Hilarious, but anti-climactic, cause it takes you out of the game. Still, there’s the catharsis factor.

I watched the whole thing, and other than an insatiable desire to buy Nike sneakers, I think it’s a pretty cool little movie. Kobe Bryant is pretty funny in his scenes with Robert Rodriguez and he does a good job pretending to be a basketball player. My one complaint would be that Kanye West is far too babyfaced to play a super-villain. Look at him, he’s adorable! (via io9)

Fans of blade-based violence and racially-insensitive humor have reason to celebrate. In an interview with Dread Central, actor Danny Trejo claimed that a Machete sequel, Machete Kills, was definitely in the works, and that director Robert Rodriguez has already written the script.

“I asked Robert Rodriguez when he was going to write Machete Kills, and he said (in his words), ‘It’s wrote,’” Trejo told the website.”Sin City 2 might have been pushed back behin Machete Kills. [laughs] Nobody cares about Mickey Rourke… [laughs].”

Trejo also dismissed criticism of Machete’s use of racially-insensitive humor.

“We did it as entertainment. What I loved was the sense of humor in it, in everything. So we kind of laughed at everybody, and that was what I loved about the movie.”

Added Trejo, “There has to be a sense of humor in everything otherwise… let’s do a documentary on prison.”

I don’t know if I agree. After all, it wasn’t really a documentary, but HBO’s prison drama, “Oz,” was pretty funny; like that episode where they fed the old Italian guy shards of glass. See, there’s humor in everything!

Jason Segel has added nine new cast members to his upcoming Muppet movie.  Jack Black (Tropic Thunder) Paul Rudd (Role Models), Jane Lynch (Glee), Danny Trejo (Machete), Eric Stonestreet “Modern Family“), Donald Glover (“Community”), John Krasinski “The Office“) and Ed Helms (“The Office“) have all been confirmed for the ensemble. However, one name stands out like a brown stain on an otherwise clean pair of tighty whities: Lady Gaga.

That’s right; the woman who struts around in an outfit made of Kermit the Frog heads has been cast in the latest Muppet film. Unless she’s playing an evil villain or is killed off in the first 20 seconds, I have to seriously question this decision. In my last Muppet related article, I said that Segel could name the film “The Cancer Causing Anti-American Puppet Crapstravaganza,” and I’d still go see it twice. Well, Lady Gaga alters the deal. Sure, I’ll still see it twice, but once is definitely going to be a matinee. (Collider)

_{Look mom, I’m a thespian!}

Sasha Grey is slated to porn-up another mainstream movie with her role in Skinny Dip, Movie Line is reporting. Grey will star alongside Michelle Rodriguez, Danny Trejo and Eric Roberts in the film, which is billed as a revenge thriller.

As you know, Grey used to be a porn star, but has crossed over to become a “porn star who directors exploit to create buzz for non-porn films.” Her success is an inspiration to young girls (with "daddy issues") everywhere (as am I).

Last week, Screen Junkies and Break scored some sweet, sweet hangin’ time with Machete stars Danny Trejo and Michelle Rodriguez, and director Robert Rodriguez, at an international press junket. FX guru and filmmaker Freddie W. put together a scene that starts out simple enough with everyone taking some bad-ass pics for the cameras, but then quickly takes a dark turn once Michelle’s strength is brought into question. In my opinion, this is the way all press junkets should end. Although, I’m sure the hotel staff would vehemently disagree.

Check out the video below…

Michelle Rodriguez’s Machete Fail – Watch more Funny Videos

Machete
R, 105 min., 2010
Cast: Danny Trejo, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Jeff Fahey, Cheech Marin with Don Johnson, Lindsay Lohan, Steven Seagal, and Robert DeNiro
Directed by Robert Rodriguez and Ethan Maniquis
Screenplay by Robert Rodriguez and Alvero Rodriguez

While Machete is one hilarious, madcap, blood-filled pinata party, it’s also one of the most politically charged action movies to come along this year.

The iconic big screen bad-ass Danny Trejo gets his much needed day in the sun at Machete, an ex- Mexican cop turned Texas day laborer who finds himself in the middle of the battle between borders, with double crossing politicians, vigilantes, cops, and cartels. All the while he’s becoming another legendary folk hero from the endless mind of Robert Rodriguez and the Troublemaker studio family.

Machete is joined by a cast that can slap and slice the face off of The Expendables – they can be labeled  like Sergio Leone‘s The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.  The Good: the ultimate female revolution fighter from a taco truck Luz/She (Michelle Rodriguez in another one of her kick butt and still look sexy performances), INS agent sexpot Santana (Jessica Alba), and Priest (Cheech Marin showing up in his best Rodriguez movie cameo to date). The Bad: evil vigilante Texan Lt. Stillman (Don Johnson, at his sleazy cigar slinging best, carrying echoes of Henry Fonda’s villainous performance in Once Upon a Time in the West), racist tea bagger Senator McLaughlin (Robert DeNiro having fun as the guy you love to hate), scheming political assistant Booth (Jeff Fahey making us wonder why he isn’t cast in more movies as a screen villain), and Mexican drug lord Torrez (Steven Seagal taking everything so seriously and with hilarious end results). And The Ugly: drugged up bad girl turned religious savior April (Lindsay Lohan always down to satirize her own persona) and the famous worn and pockmarked face of Danny Trejo as Machete.

All these wacky characters and more face off in a blood-filled cannon of showdowns and confetti that will you have kicking, wincing, howling, whistling, and clapping for more.

Rodriguez, sharing his writer/director/cinematographer/editor/score chair with co-director Ethan Maniquis, script writer Alveno Rodriguez, editor Rebecca Rodriguez, and cinematographer Jimmy Lindsey. It’s a block party of filmmakers that bring a lot of energy and color to the creative table, creating an environment that is part grindhouse fun and part family affair.

As the idea of Machete came out of Rodriguez’s head 15 years ago during Desperado, we now see another possible tough character actor, Michelle Rodriguez, becoming another one of his modern day folk hero characters of SHE — a legendary Mexican freedom fighter or quasi female counter part to iconic Che Guevera. You know he is onto something here when Rodriguez’s character gets the audience roar of approval next to a bland Alba applause. It’s something to look forward to in the Troublemaker future of cartoon movies.

The movie itself is more fun watching than really talking about with all its beheading and rocket-filled low riders. The first part is the most uninhibited fun, with the mixture of grindhouse type violence with political undertones that include a running gag of xenophobic political ads, not unlike something Sarah Palin would pay for.

By the time the climax hits, there are so many characters and elements played out that they all collide in a Looney Tunes-type carnival ride of guns and cars that doesn’t come to a solid conclusion. It even seems that Machete is lost at times in the battle between characters and screen time.
Yet Rodriguez and crew give us a something to chew on as we face a time of terrible racism and actions, all the while punching it with one-of-a-kind performances and action moments.

Grade: B +

If this new red band trailer for Machete doesn’t convince you to see the film this Friday then I’m afraid there’s nothing more I can do. My goodness gracious, the violence. It exploits more head trauma than Break fail video. Have you ever seen a man’s head get cut off and then split in half before it even hits the ground? Well now you can mark that morbid desire off of your bucket list.

Check out the trailer after the jump…

Heads Will Roll In Ne Machete Redband- NSFW! – Watch more horror

(BloodyDisgusting)

In my life, I’ve been lucky enough to see some pretty amazing things. In grade school, I watched a ki break a calculator apart and eat it, piece by piece, in exchange for about three dollars worth of change. In high school, I saw Weird Al Yankovic perform twice. And in college, I finally saw a boob. But all of that pales in comparison to what you’re about to witness.

This new extended clip (courtesy of IGN) proves that Machete is the greatest achievement in cinema history, if not human history. Not only does it contain the now famous "intestine scene" from previous trailers, but it also features hot nurses, someone getting shot in the head, and, to top it all off, an anal sex joke. Keep in mind, the clip is less than four minutes long. Just imagine what goes on in the rest of the film. All hail Machete! (Dread Central)

Watch the greatest achievement in cinema history after the jump…

Did I just see what I think I …? Did he just..? Wow. The red band trailer for Machete is now online and we’re gonna need a redder band for this. It’s got blood, guts, boobs, Seagal, and at unstoppable Mexican on the loose. Robert Rodriguez has trul taken the leash off Danny Trejo this time around. If I were Jeff Fahey, I’d be going the bathroom on myself right now. More than usual.

WATCH THE REDDEST RED BAND THAT EVER RED BANDED AFTER THE JUMP…

The new Machete trailer has slashed its way onto the Internetz. We last saw an "illegal" trailer released on Cinco de Mayo which got me amped, but this new one makes me want to punch a cinder block just so I can feel like a man. It’s like producer Robert Rodriquez and director Ethan Maniquis took all the things that zip through a male’s brain on a daily basis and cramed them into one movie with Jeff Fahey. Not that I don’t like Jeff Fahey, I just can’t say he’s on my mind that often. At least you’ll never get me to admit it here…

Machete rips theaters a new asshole Labor Day Weekend, September 3rd.

Check out the trailer after the jump.

Good news for pot heads everywhere! The cast for the next installment of the Harold and Kumar series has been announced. Aside from returning cast members Kal Penn, John Cho and Neil Patrick Harris, some impressive names are joining the film’s roster.

Joining the "Harold & Kumar" ensemble are Tom Lennon ("17 Again," TV’s "Reno 911") and Danny Trejo ("Grindhouse"). Rounding out the new film cast are Amir Blumenfeld (TV’s "Pranked," CollegeHumor.com), David Burtka (TV’s "How I Met Your Mother"), Fred Melamed ("A Serious Man"), Patton Oswalt ("The Informant!") and Richard Riehle ("Halloween II").

Part 3 takes place six years after the last film, and centers around the duo’s attempts to replace Harold’s father’s beloved Christmas tree, which was accidentally set ablaze by Kumar. For those of you who are too stoned to keep up with such a complex plot, not to worry. The film is being shot in 3D, which means all you’ll have to do is sit back and look at the cool shapes and colors racing toward your face.

What an age we live in! (Coming Soon)

_{Sí se puede…make an awesome Lego trailer.}

Outside of Hobo with a Shotgun, Machete might be the greatest trailer ever made. But even the best wasn’t good enough for filmmaker David Vann, who decided to improve upon perfection by doing a scene-for-scene remake of the trailer using Legos. Needless to say, it’s awesome. Even in Lego form, Danny Trejo is a terrifying man. (CinemaBlend)

Watch the Lego version of Machete after the jump.

Sweet mother of us all! This Predator’s scary vagina mouth is the most horrifying thing I’ve seen since Love Actually.

In this newly released photo from the upcoming Robert Rodriguez-produced film, one of the Predators displays his fangs in an all-out attempt to cause Danny Trejo’s character to poop his pants. I’m assuming it didn’t work, since Danny Trejo is the most menacing thing in the galaxy. Even so, it’s pretty bad ass.

See more freaky Predators pics after the jump.

(/Film)

For Cinco de Mayo, Robert Rodriguez dropped a package off at the home of his AICN homies, and it turned out to be the "illegal" trailer for Machete hidden underneath a pound of tamales. Alright, I’m not certain about the tamales, but it’s how I deliver all of MY packages.

If you enjoyed the fake trailer for Machete attached to Grindhouse, you won’t be dissappointed by the trailer for the movie made from the trailer. It features a Mexican-hating Robert DeNiro, a Robert DeNiro hating Mexican Danny Trejo, a gun-licking nun Lindsay Lohan, Steven Seagal, and Jessica Alba with a perm. Also, Soothsayer Rodriguez managed to tap into a controversy that’s bubbling over in Arizona at this very moment, and he predicted that sh*t months ago! Way to make the zeitgiest your bitch, Robert.

Check out the trailer below. Machete slashes into theaters September 3, 2010.

Illega Machete Trailer – Watch more Funny Videos

_{Let’s get this barbeque f*ckin’ started.}

This Labor Day, make room for Machete amongst your ice cold beers and charred hot dogs. The Robert Rodriguez produced film based off the trailer from Grindhouse will hit theaters September 3.

Machete stars Danny Trejo as a blade-wielding Mexican ex-Federale who is double-crossed by a crooked politician. If for some loco reason blade-wielding Mexican’s aren’t your cup of horchata, keep in mind that Jessica Alba is playing twins in the film. Yes, that’s right, Rodriguez DOES listen to your prayers at night, and he has answered them. Who else did you think you were appealing to? (Variety)

_{Brody faces off with a Predator disco ball.}

Now you all can finally see what those lucky f*cks at SXSW saw last Saturday. I’m considering being on board for this new Predators installment, but I can’t yet fully commit. I have to first suspend my disbelief that Adrian Brody can play a mercenary (isn’t that nose a hazard in the field?), and that Lawrence Fishburne can’t stop a Predator cold in its tracks by simply shooting it the stink-eye. Here’s your context from IGN: 

Brody plays Royce, a mercenary who reluctantly leads a group of elite warriors who come to realize they’ve been brought together on an alien planet… as prey. With the exception of a disgraced physician, they are all cold-blooded killers – mercenaries, Yakuza, convicts, death squad members – human "predators" that are now being systemically hunted and eliminated by a new breed of alie Predators.

Yakuza and death squad members finally working together. And they say progress isn’t being made in the world. Isn’t that right, Walton Goggins?

Walton: "Who’s your daddy now?!"

Man, I hope his character dies in the first act…

Check out the trailer after the jump. Predators rips theaters a new asshole July 7.