Screen Junkies » Conan the barbarian http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Fri, 19 Sep 2014 21:04:14 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Now It’s Time For Arnold Schwarzenegger To Reboot ‘Conan’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/now-its-time-for-arnold-schwarzenegger-to-reboot-conan/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/now-its-time-for-arnold-schwarzenegger-to-reboot-conan/#comments Fri, 26 Oct 2012 12:57:55 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=251719 I'm holding out for a Conan vs. The Terminator film.

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Between the memoir and ill-advised movie sequels, Arnold Schwarzenegger is mining his past for every dollar he can pump out of it. In the spirit, he’s throwing another ill-advised sequel into the mix. In spring of 2011, the Jason Momoa-starring Conan reboot failed to relaunch the series which leaves the door open for another reboot. This time starring the O.G. Conan, Arnold Schwarzenegger.

The 65-year old will star in Legend of Conan. It’s planned as a direct sequel to the 1982 original and will ignore the sequels, but not the fact that Conan is totally an old guy now. “This movie picks up Conan where Arnold is now in his life, and we will be able to use the fact that he has aged in this story. I love the property of Conan so much that I wouldn’t touch it unless we came up with something worthy. We think this is a worthy successor to the original film. Think of this as Conan’s Unforgiven,” producer and possible screenwriter on the movie Chris Morgan (47 Ronin, Wanted) told Deadline.

Momoa will have no connection to the film, and it’s unknown what the plot specifics will be. Also no word if Arnold will pass the mantle over to a son for sequels. Or to a secret son birthed with the wench hired to sweep his hut. There’s just so many places this plot can go.

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Weekend Box Office Report: ‘The Help’ Could Have Done Worse http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/weekend-box-office-report-the-help-could-have-done-worse/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/weekend-box-office-report-the-help-could-have-done-worse/#comments Mon, 22 Aug 2011 04:51:13 +0000 Joseph Gibson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=225273 Maybe 'Conan: The Help' would have done better.

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It appears that America has survived another summer blockbuster season, with the last of the summer blockbusters gently fading into the sunset. In the number one spot this weekend, we have The Help, which capitalized on weak openings for some other movies and nabbed a healthy $20.5 million despite pretty bad reviews.

'Fright Night' International Trailer Delivers More Scares

What are some of those “weak openings”? For one, we have Spy Kids: All The Time in the World, which somehow managed to only gross $12 million in its opening weekend, despite audiences’ well-documented love for being assaulted by various strange smells. The other “big” movie to open this weekend was Conan the Barbarian, which only managed a $10 million opening, putting it one spot behind Spy Kids at number4.  Somehow, Jay Leno must be responsible for this. The other big movie to open this weekend was the well-reviewed-but-not-well-attended Fright Night, which landed at number 6 with $7.9 million. (The Playlist)

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Jason Momoa Talks About ‘Conan’, ‘Expendables’, And Beer http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/jason-momoa-talks-about-conan-expendables-and-beer/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/jason-momoa-talks-about-conan-expendables-and-beer/#comments Sat, 20 Aug 2011 16:00:26 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=225021 Momoa sounds a little cocky. You'd be cocky too if you were Conan.

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Superficially, Jason Momoa sounds like a real privileged jerk during his Q&A at the Alamo Drafthouse in Austin. Note the “sounds like.” For a muscular dude, recently greeted with success, it’s easy to dismiss his fame as the result of dumb luck and…maybe dumb person.

However, in context, his self-aggrandizing proclamations aren’t only legit, but they’re somewhat endearing. The guys wants little more than to enjoy his success (He’s the first one to ridicule the fact that he was on Baywatch. Cause if he didn’t, we would), and to drink two buckets of beer in Austin before staying up all night and catching a flight to New York for more junkets for Conan.

Perhaps if this was a higher quality video, it would resonate more. But the fact remains that the guy caught a wave of luck recently, playing a (rather) silent giant in Game of Thrones, and now headlining a potential franchise as Conan. If you’re not a fan of the genre or his “acting,” it’s understandable. But don’t fault the guy for playing it too cool while riding a wave of success.

Sure. We all hate this type of guy. But if you’re will to invest $11 in Conan, or an hour in an episode of Game of Thrones, reserve judgment on the guy that manges to entertain, no matter how big his muscles are, or how long his hair is.

In the interest of full disclosure, all SJ employees agree – his hair is too long, and his muscles too big.

(Editor’s Note: The editor fears Jason Monmoa, and thinks he should wear his hair any way he wants.)

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Rose McGowan http://www.screenjunkies.com/gallery/rose-mcgowan/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/gallery/rose-mcgowan/#comments Thu, 18 Aug 2011 16:56:52 +0000 Screen Junkies http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=gallery&p=224912 Though she plays a horribly deformed monster in 'Conan the Barbarian,' we've been assured that it is indeed Rose McGowan under all that makeup.

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Though she plays a horribly deformed monster in Conan the Barbarian, we’ve been assured that it is indeed Rose McGowan under all that makeup. In the film, McGowan portrays Marique, some kind of evil sorceress. While she doesn’t have a machine gun strapped to her leg, the role is sure to be pretty badass.

A word from Rose: ”I think if I had lived back in Salem, I would have been burned at the stake.”

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Jason Momoa Discusses A Possible, But Not Likely, Return To ‘Game Of Thrones’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/general/jason-momoa-discusses-the-differences-between-drogo-and-conan-a-possible-return-to-game-of-thrones/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/general/jason-momoa-discusses-the-differences-between-drogo-and-conan-a-possible-return-to-game-of-thrones/#comments Wed, 17 Aug 2011 19:55:00 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=224822 I didn't know this guy gave interviews. I thought he would just chop someone's head off and hold it up to a crowd to get his point across.

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While producers and Jason Momoa himself are trying to downplay similarities between his Game of Thrones character Drogo and his upcoming turn at Conan the Barbarian, it’s hard to argue that he’s got a type.

During an interview for Conan, Momoa sat down and shared that even though Drogo died by the hands of a witch, his wife, and his own subject, Momoa discusses the possibility of a return to the show with Jennifer Vineyard of Vulture. (Please take this with a whole mine of salt.)

It’s a fantasy world, sweetheart. I wrote some scenes and they might try to use them. George [R.R. Martin] can only write so much. Something could happen. Drogo could have a twin. You never know!

Once you get past the fact that he called his female interviewer “sweetheart,” which is insanely awesome, you realize that this isn’t perhaps the most rock-solid strategy in the world. I’m reminded of the “script” that Homer Simpson submitted to Ron Howard which was essentially just a few pages of doodles and a plotline involving a talking pie.

That said, it’s nice to hold on to hope, as this guy was one of the most compelling characters on the show. What he lacked vocally, he more than made up for in eyeliner.

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Rachel Nichols http://www.screenjunkies.com/gallery/rachel-nichols/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/gallery/rachel-nichols/#comments Mon, 15 Aug 2011 18:04:52 +0000 Screen Junkies http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=gallery&p=224530 Rachel Nichols is Tamara in Conan the Barbarian.

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Rachel Nichols is Tamara in Conan the Barbarian. Nichols is best known as of late for her role on “Criminal Minds.” She also appeared in J.J. AbramsStar Trek and played a rough-and-tumble action hero in G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra.

A word from Rachel: “Bulgaria is an interesting country. The people are lovely. There are potholes the size of small planets.”

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Jason Momoa Wrote ‘Conan’ Sequel For Anyone Interested http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/jason-momoa-now-writing-conan-fan-fic/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/jason-momoa-now-writing-conan-fan-fic/#comments Mon, 08 Aug 2011 16:54:32 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=223888 Professional barbarian adds screenwriting to list of job skills.

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Jason Momoa must have really liked playing Conan. I say this because the actor has revealed that he’s written his own sequel to Conan the Barbarian. Though his continuation of the character hasn’t been accepted by the studio just yet, he gives Crave Online a little hint of what he’s got planned.

“It will mostly be… It’s character-adapted, because I really want to get into more of the mythical creatures, you know? [...] We wanted to go there [in the first one], but having Clash of the Titans, and coming out against that, we wanted to put the budget into some other things. [...] I don’t want to give anything away, but we already have our Conan, really it’s about the villain, what that villain is going to extract from Conan, and where as an actor I want to go with Conan. [...] So, I think we have a good lock on it. Also, I feel it’s beautiful… How many actors get to go in there and go, “I’m part of the writing process?” and care that much about the character, because he is a fan himself? It’s great. You know some people go like, “It’s great, I’m going to be in my trailer.” I want to @#$%ing make a great Conan movie.”

That’s pretty awesome that he’s a fan who gets to actually play the character. You’ve got to wish him the best and hope that his story makes it to the screen. However, I’m a little worried that he might be too into the character. Can someone go over there and make sure he doesn’t have any real swords?

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Partner Plug: Play ‘Conan The Barbarian’ 8-Bit Game http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/partner-plug-play-conan-the-barbarian-8-bit-game/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/partner-plug-play-conan-the-barbarian-8-bit-game/#comments Tue, 19 Jul 2011 15:58:52 +0000 Col. Longshanks http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=220695 Chop some heads off and free sexy slaves.

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To celebrate the release of Conan the Barbarian in 3D on August 19, our video game friends at Break created a sweet 8-bit adventure game. If you have some time to kill, and a hunger for blood and pig legs, head on over HERE to check it out. Make sure to crank the volume up so your boss can hear the villains scream in agony.

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Conan the Barbarian http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/films/conan-2010/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/films/conan-2010/#comments Mon, 11 Jul 2011 19:25:17 +0000 Reza F. Director: Marcus NispelCast: TDBSynopsis: TBD 

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Director: Marcus Nispel

Cast: Jason Momoa, Ron Perlman, Rose McGowan

Synopsis: The tale of Conan the Cimmerian and his adventures across the continent of Hyboria on a quest to avenge the murder of his father and the slaughter of his village.

Release Date: August 19, 2011

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UK Trailer Provides A Less Bloody Look At ‘Conan the Barbarian’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/uk-trailer-provides-a-less-bloody-look-at-conan-the-barbarian/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/uk-trailer-provides-a-less-bloody-look-at-conan-the-barbarian/#comments Tue, 05 Jul 2011 21:17:23 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=218906 Plot points? Apparently this film isn't all just random violence.

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The new UK trailer for Conan the Barbarian gives us a new look at Marcus Nispel‘s film. This time, the focus shifts from watching dudes and monsters getting hacked to pieces to story details for some reason. Here we see Stephen Lang chewing the scenery as the angel of death that kills Conan‘s father and thus sets the young barbarian on his path. There’s also a lot of sword swinging, knife throwing, monster-battling, and text set against a fiery background for all you barbarian purists.

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Blood, Swords And Just A Hint Of Explosion In Classy ‘Conan’ Poster http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/blood-swords-and-just-a-hint-of-explosion-in-classy-conan-poster/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/blood-swords-and-just-a-hint-of-explosion-in-classy-conan-poster/#comments Tue, 10 May 2011 01:21:42 +0000 Geoffrey Golden http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=211252 How would he not have more cuts and bruises?

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I understand that Conan The Barbarian is a complete and total badass. Poin taken. However, in the newly released poster below, the man is shirtless, completely surrounded be armored dudes with spears and swords, plus arrows are flying his way. Yet, the only scratch I can see is a tiny little one near his waistline. I’ll believe that the guy can murder all these assholes and their friends & families in one afternoon, but one tiny cut? I assume his frowny-face is because he does not have a Spongebob Band-Aid for his barely noticeable boo-boo.

Lionsgate‘s Conan The Barbarian stars Jason Momoa, Stephen Lang and Ron Perlman. Directed by Marcus Nispel, it’s coming to you in GrimaceVision 3D on August 19, 2011. Conan‘s violence-filled quest is the last hope for saving the Hyborian world from the forces of evil. Meanwhile, I’d like to take this opportunity to remind you that “Conan The Librarian” exists. I bet that Conan at least got two or three paper cuts. (IGN)

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Grunt Along With ‘Conan The Barbarian’ Trailer http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/the-conan-the-barbarian-trailer-is-here-just-for-you/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/the-conan-the-barbarian-trailer-is-here-just-for-you/#comments Wed, 04 May 2011 23:24:14 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=Video&p=210533 Oh the whipping!

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The new Conan the Barbarian trailer is up and running, and it’s got violence, erotica, and snake pits. Just like my dreams.

Of course, with films of this nature, conveying the plot in the trailer is not exactly job one. “Job one” in this instance appears to be “showing all the explosions, monsters, and creepy dudes that Conan has to deal with while he does what he do.”

There’s a lot going on, but see if you can pick a favorite character. Mine’s “whip guy” at :30 in. Who’s yours?

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First Look At ‘Conan’ Villain “Baldar” Zym http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/first-look-at-conan-villain-baldy-mczym/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/first-look-at-conan-villain-baldy-mczym/#comments Sat, 19 Mar 2011 01:56:50 +0000 Geoffrey Golden http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=202624 Stephen Lang ('Avatar') plays Khalar Zym, and he looks ticked off about something. Maybe the Rogaine didn't take?

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Conan The Barbarian is turning into some kind of ancient hippie fest. First we see a trailer that looks like a series of pot smoke visions. Now we get a balding, long-haired villain with a graying ponytail. What’s next? Does Conan travel around in a van?

Below is the pic of Khalar Zym in the remake of Conan The Barbarian, directed by Marcus Nispel (“The Texas Chainsaw Massacre“). That’s Stephen Lang (Avatar) looking, perhaps, a little ticked off about something. Maybe it’s cause Zym takes no pleasure in killing Conan’s family and destroying his village. An ancient Middle Eastern warlord’s gotta do what an ancient Middle Eastern warlord’s gotta do. Nothing personal, just business.

The film slaughters its way into 3D theaters August 19th, along with stars Jason Mamao (“Stargate: Atlantis”), Ron Perlman and Rose McGowan. (Latino Review)

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‘Conan The Barbarian’ Is Smokin’ In Teaser Trailer http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/conan-the-barbarian-is-smokin-in-teaser-trailer/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/conan-the-barbarian-is-smokin-in-teaser-trailer/#comments Sat, 12 Mar 2011 01:24:06 +0000 Geoffrey Golden http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=Video&p=201355 There are some gray dudes, a slave lady, and a nice helping of sword sound effects. So far, so good.

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The teaser trailer for Conan The Barbarian is online and it’s smokin’. No, not in a The Mask kind of way, with the Tex Avery impressions and the “Cuban Pete.” I just mean there’s literally a lot of smoke in the trailer for some reason. Nothing says “from an ancient time” like “here is a shit-load of smoke.”

Also featured: some gray dudes, a hot slave lady, and a nice helping of sound effects from the “Battles, Magic, and Swordplay: Movie Sound Effects Library.” Seriously, though, the trailer did pique my curiosity, and I’m looking forward to seeing more. Hopefully with less smoke and more folks. Topless folks, that is.

Conan The Barbarian is directed by Marcus Nispel (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre), and stars Jason “Tempted” Momoa as the non-Arnold barbarian. The cast also includes Ron Perlman, Rose McGowan, and Stephen Lang. The film brutally invades theaters August 19th in 3D. (Collider)

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‘Conan The Barbarian’ Has One Of Those Motion Posters Everyone Seems To Like http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/conan-the-barbarian-has-one-of-those-motion-posters-everyone-seems-to-like/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/conan-the-barbarian-has-one-of-those-motion-posters-everyone-seems-to-like/#comments Thu, 03 Mar 2011 22:04:02 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=31526 Conan the Barbarian would like to remind you that he still has that biopic coming out this August.

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Conan the Barbarian would like to remind you that he still has that biopic coming out this August. And what better way to do so then by standing on a pile of skulls in front of the old Simpson/Bruckheimer animated logo?

Now for questions: are those the skulls of men he has killed or the skulls of those that he plans to avenge? And if they are skulls to be avenged, do you really have time to stand around on them? Get burying, Conan! However, if they do represent Conan’s victims, how are we to know that they are an actual pile and not just a sand mound with skulls on the top-side. That would be cheating. (IGN)

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Amber Heard Latest Actress To Probably Not Play ‘Red Sonja’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/amber-heard-latest-actress-to-probably-not-play-red-sonja/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/amber-heard-latest-actress-to-probably-not-play-red-sonja/#comments Thu, 10 Feb 2011 18:16:27 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=26119 After the false start a few years back that only resulted in a Rose McGowan with sexy red hair poster, it looks like the project is back up.

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Because people didn’t snicker too loudly when Conan the Barbarian 3D went into production, the film’s producers are gearing up to remake Red Sonja with a director already on board.

After the false start a few years back that only resulted in a Rose McGowan with sexy red hair poster, it looks like the project is back up. Producer Avi Lerner has revealed that Simon West will direct the project, and shared his hopes that Amber Heard will hold a prop sword toward the heavens while screaming triumphant very soon.

“We’re talking to a few girls for the role of Sonja but we just finished a movie called  Drive Angry with Amber Heard, and I want to see her. She’s my favourite for the role. Amber is the new Red Sonja… but she doesn’t know it yet! When you write it she’ll get the shock of her life! She’ll call me and say ‘How dare you talk to Empire before you talk to me?!’”

Ah. Publicly shaming young actresses into chain mail bikinis. A Hollywood institution since the Silent Era. (Empire)

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Pic of Jason Momoa as ‘Conan’ in Mid-Swing http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/pic-of-jason-momoa-as-conan-in-mid-swing/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/pic-of-jason-momoa-as-conan-in-mid-swing/#comments Sat, 03 Jul 2010 16:06:03 +0000 King of NY 'Bout time we see Jason Momoa causing pain as Conan the Barbarian. The first pic released showed him, what looked like, smelling a fart, completely not covered in someone else's blood. I'm not sure why water is spraying at him in the above pic, but my guess is one of those barrels they place on the side of the highway clipped him while he was trying to make the exit, and he had to lay the smackdown. If this movie is about Conan battling an army of road barricades it's going to be awesome. (/Film)

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‘Bout time we see Jason Momoa causing pain as Conan the Barbarian. The first pic released showed him, what looked like, smelling a fart, completely not covered in someone else’s blood. I’m not sure why water is spraying at him in the above pic, but my guess is one of those barrels they place on the side of the highway clipped him while he was trying to make the exit, and he had to lay the smackdown. If this movie is about Conan battling an army of road barricades it’s going to be awesome. (/Film)

 

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Conan the Barbarian: The Musical http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/conan-the-barbarian-the-musical/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/conan-the-barbarian-the-musical/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 For those of you who can't wait for the upcoming remake of Conan the Barbarian, we have just the thing to hold you over. Behold, Conan the Barbarian: The Musical! Sing along to such classics as "Crom" and "Hear the Lamentation of the Women." Well, it's actually all one song, but I needed to fill some space. Watch Conan the Barbarian: The Musical after the jump.

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For those of you who can’t wait for the upcoming remake of Conan the Barbarian, we have just the thing to hold you over. Behold, Conan the Barbarian: The Musical! Sing along to such classics as "Crom" and "Hear the Lamentation of the Women." Well, it’s actually all one song, but I needed to fill some space.

Watch Conan the Barbarian: The Musical after the jump.

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This Shirtless ‘Conan’ Pic is Confusing On Multiple Levels http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/this-shirtless-conan-pic-is-confusing-on-multiple-levels/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/this-shirtless-conan-pic-is-confusing-on-multiple-levels/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Put a shirt on! You're making me uncomfortable!The first official picture for the upcoming Conan movie has me confused on multiple levels.When I heard there was a shirtless Conan picture on the Internet, I assumed it was Conan O'Brien, so I got ready to laugh. But when I clicked the link and was confronted with the raw animal magnetism that is a shirtless Jason Momoa, something deep inside me was stirred. It was something I hadn't felt since high school gym class, specifically the time I was partnered up with all-state wrestler Tim Nelson for weightlifting. The muscles, the grunting, the squatting: it was all too much for me to bear and I passed out.After staring at the Conan picture for five-minutes straight, I felt the same confusing feelings welling up inside me, and once again I passed out. But this time, instead of waking up to find myself duct taped to a flagpole, I awoke in a hospital bed. Turns out I'm an epileptic, and glistening male biceps trigger my seizures.After the doctor explained, I couldn't help but laugh, at least until the pain set in. Unfortunately, I chewed off my tongue during the seizure.True Story. Thanks, Jason Momoa. You ruined my life. (Film School Rejects)

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Put a shirt on! You’re making me uncomfortable!

The first official picture for the upcoming Conan movie has me confused on multiple levels.

When I heard there was a shirtless Conan picture on the Internet, I assumed it was Conan O’Brien, so I got ready to laugh. But when I clicked the link and was confronted with the raw animal magnetism that is a shirtless Jason Momoa, something deep inside me was stirred. It was something I hadn’t felt sinc high school gym class, specifically the time I was partnered up with all-state wrestler Tim Nelson for weightlifting. The muscles, the grunting, the squatting: it was all too much for me to bear and I passed out.

After staring at the Conan picture for five-minutes straight, I felt the same confusing feelings welling up inside me, and once again I passed out. But this time, instead of waking up to find myself duct taped to a flagpole, I awoke in a hospital bed. Turns out I’m an epileptic, and glistening male biceps trigger my seizures.

After the doctor explained, I couldn’t help but laugh, at least until the pain set in. Unfortunately, I chewed off my tongue during the seizure.

True Story. Thanks, Jason Momoa. You ruined my life. (Film School Rejects)

 

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Little Kid Cast as Pre-Barbarian Conan http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/little-kid-cast-as-pre-barbarian-conan/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/little-kid-cast-as-pre-barbarian-conan/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Last month we reported that Fake Lenny Kravitz had won the role of the titular barbarian in Marcus Nispel's remake of Conan. Today comes word that the role of young Conan will be played by Fake Joey Lawrence. Child actor Leo Howard, who was seen on screens as a little ninja in G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra, will portray the miniature barbarian for the first reel of the movie. Congratulations to Leo. And I'm not just saying that because he harnesses the ability to kick me in the face. In fact, I'll give him my unlimited approval if he takes out Jaden Smith at the All Valley Karate Tournament.  (Latino Review)

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Last month we reported that Fake Lenny Kravitz had won the role of the titular barbarian in Marcus Nispel‘s remake of Conan. Today comes word that the role of young Conan will be played by Fake Joey Lawrence. Child actor Leo Howard, who was seen on screens as a little ninja in G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra, will portray the miniature barbarian for the first reel of the movie. Congratulations to Leo. And I’m not just saying that because he harnesses the ability to kick me in the face. In fact, I’ll give him my unlimited approval if he takes out Jaden Smith at the All Valley Karate Tournament.  (Latino Review)

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MARCUS NISPEL TO DIRECT ‘CONAN’ UPDATE. NO MORE BRETT RATNER. http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/marcus-nispel-to-direct-conan-update-no-more-brett-ratner/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/marcus-nispel-to-direct-conan-update-no-more-brett-ratner/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 BY THE ANVIL OF CROM! Usually, news about a guy who’s made a career out of directing remakes is not very exciting; it’s kind of annoying.  The knock on them is obvious:  they're never as good as the source material, and they're usually flashy flicks that lack substance. That's what makes this piece of news so darned interesting.  It was announced that Marcus Nispel, the guy who remade both The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Friday the Thirteenth, is on board to direct a remake of Conan.  Yeah, it's a lackluster little bit of information but it's good news.  Why?  Because now we know Brett Ratner isn't touching the movie any more.

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BY THE ANVIL OF CROM!

Usually, news about a guy who’s made a career out of directing remakes is not very exciting; it’s kind of annoying.  The knock on them is obvious:  they’re never as good as the source material, and they’re usually flashy flicks that lack substance.

That’s what makes this piece of news so darned interesting.  It was announced that Marcus Nispel, the guy who remade both The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Friday the Thirteenth, is on board to direct a remake of Conan.  Yeah, it’s a lackluster little bit of information but it’s good news.  Why?  Because now we know Brett Ratner isn’t touching the movie any more.

Variety has reported that at one point in time both the Wachowski Brothers (Siblings maybe? I don’t know, anymore) and Robert Rodriguez were being courted before Ratner (the former much more competent than the latter), it is still nice to know…

that anyone other than The Rat is doing a flick that could be potentially cool.  Nispel doesn’t seem like a masterful filmmaker or anything, but he’s got that little fact that he didn’t ruin the X-Men franchise going for him in my book.

Honestly, if Brett Ratner’s career was halted by an army of remake filmmakers, well, I’d be very pleased.  Even if Conan is awful, Nispel’s effort should be respected by all for ensuring Ratner did not make the movie.
 

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