Screen Junkies » cocoon http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Fri, 29 Aug 2014 17:39:03 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 10 Of The Oldest Criminals In Cinema History http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/10-of-the-oldest-criminals-in-cinema-history/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/10-of-the-oldest-criminals-in-cinema-history/#comments Wed, 02 Nov 2011 21:43:11 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=234835 They're only afraid of breaking their hip.

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Four elderly men have been arrested in Georgia on suspicion of attempting to purchase explosives to blow up government agencies. They were also accused of trying to buy a formula that would help them produce the dangerous chemical ricin. Though you’d expect them to be Breaking Bad fans, it’s said that they actually devised their plan after reading the online novel Absolved. As if an elderly person knows how to make their gnarled hands work a computer.

Whether they are guilty or innocent is up for the courts to decide. However, I can present to you these ten characters from movies who are undoubtedly criminals, and undoubtedly elderly.

Ray – Small Time Crooks

CRIME: Attempted Bank Robbery

Leading a gang of hapless criminals, Ray comes up with the perfect plan. Lease an empty restaurant across the street from a bank, then tunnel beneath the street to clean it out. Sadly, his plan doesn’t quite work. but the cookies his wife sells out of the restaurant are a huge success.

Maude – Harold and Maude

CRIME: Statutory Rape

A morbid teenager named Harold sees something special in 79-year-old Maude and strikes up a romance with her. This outrages his family, psychiatrist, and priest. It’s pretty rough when a priest is giving you romantic advice.

Abby and Martha Brewster – Arsenic and Old Lace

CRIME: Murder

Elderly sisters Abby and Martha lure old men to their home and serve them poisoned refreshments. They then have their Teddy Roosevelt-impersonating-nephew dispose of the bodies.

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Eight Truths And A Lie About Birthday Boy Wilford Brimley http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/eight-truths-and-a-lie-about-birthday-boy-wilford-brimley/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/eight-truths-and-a-lie-about-birthday-boy-wilford-brimley/#comments Tue, 27 Sep 2011 18:31:00 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=230090 When we telephoned Brimley to get a quote for the piece, he offered up, "Don't call this number again, dammit."

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Today is Wilford Brimley’s 77th birthday. Before you duck out on the office early to head off to some rager celebrating the WB’s big day, Screen Junkies would like to let you know exactly who you are celebrating. Wilford Brimley is so much more than a man with a mustache that suffers from diabeetus. He is also a proud father, loving widower, and a passionate outdoors-man.

Please note that eight of the items listed are true, and one is a lie. Because we value responsible journalism at Break Media, we will provide you with an answer as to which is the lie, but not before you click through to the end. I need those page views.

Enjoy!

9. Wilford Brimley Has Used His Own Money To Reverse Bans On Horse Racing and Cockfighting

He has invested in and raised racehorses, and argues that the ban on cockfighting is an infringement on personal liberties.

8. Wilford Brimley Is A Mormon

He was born in Salt Lake City and has been devoted to the church his entire life.

7. Wilford Brimley Released A Jazz Album In 2004

He titled it This Time, The Dream’s On Me, and it features a number of jazz standards.

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