‘Piranha 3DD’ Cast Announced: These Men Need To Guard Their Penises

Geoffrey Golden — Tue, 26 Apr 2011 02:34:28 +0000

The piranhas are back. Last time, they invaded a boob-filled Sprin Break. Now they’re ready to ruin a water park during the Summer. There are gonna be a lot of sad essays read for “How I Spent My Summer Vacation” day at school.

Dimension Films has announced the stars of Piranha 3DD, including Danielle Panabaker (Friday the 13th), Matt Bush (Adventureland), Chris Zylka (The Amazing Spider-Man) and David Koechner (Anchorman). Men, watch your dicks. Ladies, learn to breath underwater while doing an awesome lesbian dance. Choreography lessons start on Tuesday.

It’s directed by John Gulager (Feast), so expect the entire Gulager family to take over the movie. Production has started for the sequel, and the film opens it’s toothy-mouths in theaters November 23, 2011. Geez, can’t they make this movie and faster?

Taylor Lautner Clone Gets His ‘Spider-man’ On

Col. Longshanks — Thu, 09 Dec 2010 22:52:54 +0000

Taylor Lautner look-alike and ABC Family regular Chris Zylka has signed up to shove around Peter Parker. Zylka will play Flash Thompson in the upcoming Spider-man reboot, which recently started rolling film. In the comics, Flash had a propensity to give Peter Parker grief while at the same time totally jonesing on Spider-man. Oh Flash, if only you knew they were the same person. Retroactive Spoiler Alert! (ThePlaylist)

Screen Junkies » chris zylka

‘Piranha 3DD’ Cast Announced: These Men Need To Guard Their Penises

Taylor Lautner Clone Gets His ‘Spider-man’ On