Instead, Howard opted to take a page out of history rather than the sketchbook of a 9-year old boy. In 1976, Lauda almost died after crashing in the second lap of the German Grand Prix, which the hotheaded Hunt would go on to win. Suffering a coma and bad burns, Lauda was back at it six weeks later determined to beat Hunt in several races. The movie will be in theaters this fall, but you can just go to Wikipedia now to see how it ends.

He’s now set to star in an untitled thriller for Michael Mann that will also involve technology somehow. According to Variety, “plot details are unknown, other than that the film takes place in a world of cyber threats and attacks.” My money has him fighting to stop a mutated version of the Y2K Bug before it leaves us all in the dark. I also predict there will be a scene where Chris Hemsworth will deliver the line, “Upload this,” before stabbing the lead hacker bad guy in the neck with a USB dongle then lifting him above his head and throwing him down into the whirling machinery of the giant super computer. Should Michael Mann decide to not take the film in that direction, I’m wore than willing and available to get cracking on that script.

Josh Peck, Josh Hutcherson, and the non-Josh Chris Hemsworth have found varying degrees of mainstream and indie success in the past three years.

While most remakes are pandering and wildly uneecesary, this film seems like one that should be remade every 20 years or so, just to remind us that foreigners are evil and America’s youth loves killing people.

Chris Hemsworth (in a pre-Thor role), Fran Kranz, Jesse Williams, Kristen Connolly, and Anna Hutchison star as five friends who travel into the woods to party in a rustic cabin. You think you know the story from there, but it looks like a lot more is happening. Rather than your typical slasher or monster attack, it’s actually some sort of shadowy organization holed up in a control room calling the shots, activating force-fields and creatures sent after the young campers. It’s ike The Truman Show, except in this case, Ed Harris is into torture porn.

6 photosCharlize Theron

Most of the action centers on Charlize Theron‘s evil queen and he practices of draining the beauty from those who put her Fairest in the Land title at risk. We then get some world building as The Huntsman and Snow White are briefly introduced. All in all, it looks like an overdone (but in the best way) effort from first-time director Rupert Sanders. Potential tag line: “This tale ain’t for fairies.”

Why? China.

The bad guys in the 1984 original were predictably the Soviets, which wouldn’t really make a lot of sense today. So the writers simply made the Chinese the ones who bring the fight to America‘s doorstep.

With China’s clout and purchasing power growing to juggernaut status, no studio wanted to risk offending the eastern superpower, so they punched up some of the images and dialogue in post and…voila! The Chinese become North Koreans! Cause that’s not offensive at all!

The North Koreans are forbidden by both their government and ours from buying any US goods, including films, so no one gives two shits if they get their feathers ruffled. YOU HEAR THAT NORTH KOREA? YOU GUYS CAN ALL GO TO HELL!!!! WOLVERIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINES!

Ahem.

FilmDistrict will be releasing the remake sometime in 2012. If they can change Chinese people to North Koreans, it’s gotta be possible for them to punch in some footage of Harry Dean Stanton getting gunned down while singing “America the Beautiful,” right?

6 photosCharlize Theron

These pictures look like pretty typical “dark fantasy” stuff, althoug I am a little surprised how different Chris Hemsworth looks from his role at Thor in, er, Thor. Also those shiny costumes are giving me a little bit of a Joel Schumacher Batman vibe. Is it too late to add nipples to the costumes? (The Playlist)

Originally there was word that Eddie Izzard would also appear as a dwarf but that news now seems to have been “tossed” out. (Variety)

The plan is for Howard and Hemsworth to get moving on this one early next year, seeing as how the Dark Tower project doesn’t really seem to be an obstacle to avoid in the near future. Thor 2 is set for July of 2013, so expect Hemsworth to move straight to that after completing Rush.

Rush focuses on the racing career of Niki Lauda, specifically his racing career and rivalry with British racer James Hunt. No others have been cast yet, but if Hemsworth is playing a guy named “Niki Lauda,” let’s just all assume that Alex Pettyfer is playing the other dude.

5 photosKat Dennings

It’s probably best that Marvel locked down Hemsworth now (though it was probably in his initial contract) because his stock seems to be rising with Snow White and the Huntsman, as well as the news yesterday that he would be starring in Shadow Runner as a special ops leader, with little else known.

And Marvel gets one step closer to having a major comic adaptation release every week for the rest of time… (Deadline)

…in which an Israeli assassination team targeted a Hamas leader whom the Israelis believe murdered several soldiers and helped stockpile Iranian-made missiles. He was tracked to Dubai, and the Israelis managed to smuggle in an entire 17-person hit team to take him out in the corridor of a five-star hotel. The operatives were captured on a hotel security camera trailing after the victim, reemerging and getting on the elevator after he was killed.

Then Deadline goes on to say that WON’T be the plot of this film, but it will be in a similar vein. Thanks a lot, Deadline. It will probably just be Thor 2: Thorrin’ It! (as inspired by the conflict between Hamas and Israel).

(cue Pat Benatar’s “Shadows of the Night”)

6 photosKeep Looking At New Pics From 'Twilight: Breaking Dawn' Forever

McShane will join Charlize Theron, Kristen Stewart, and Thor in the revised take on the fairy tale where the Huntsman, rather than kill Snow White, trains her to defend herself against her evil stepmother. Between this film, Relativity‘s Snow White, and The Hobbit, we’ll need a good amount of character actors to fill all these dwarf roles. And still, no phone calls to Warwick Davis? That’s messed. (THR)

6 photosKeep Looking At New Pics From 'Twilight: Breaking Dawn' Forever

In its heated rivalry with Relativity to get its Snow White project out first, Universal has hired Hossein Amini to rewrite the Snow White and the Huntsman script. Amini, best known for writing Nicolas Winding Refn‘s Drive and Keanu Reeves‘ samurai actioner 47 Ronin, will add more exciting sword fights to the most recent draft by Evan Spiliotopoulos. Dude fighting on tree branches and swinging from long, ornate curtains, I assume.

These fights should mirror the back and forth between Universal and Relativity who are frantically trying to one-up one another in an effort to get their film in theaters first, and poison the public’s perception of big budget Snow White films like so many apples. (Deadline)

6 photosNew ‘Thor’ Character Posters Are Like Mugshots Of The Gods

“This is my Walk the Line. Instead of concerts and songs, you’re doing a daredevil guy. But it’s less about the stunts and more about an exploration of a man who let nothing stand in the way of his quest for fame and glory — including his own mortality.”

Let’s just hope Waugh doesn’t end up in a coma trying to make this thing. Or for that matter, the actor playing Knievel, who Waugh would like to be either Tom Hardy, Chris Hemsworth or Joel Edgerton. (Hollywood Reporter)

In case you haven’t committed the myriad Snow White movies to memory, Snow White and the Huntsman is the one with Kristen Stewart and Chris Hemsworth as the titular characters, and Charlize Theron as the evil queen. The other movie, from Relativity Media, stars Julia Roberts, Lily Collins, and Armie Hammer. It’s not known if Relativity plans to respond by moving ITS movie up to before Snow White and the Huntsman, but I’m hoping that this race continues to the point where they attempt to beam the movies back in time. I guess we’d know now if they did that, though. (The Hollywood Reporter)

Chris Hemsworth was chosen to play The Huntsman in the 9 bazillionth Snow White movie currently in development. He’ll join a cast that includes Stewart and Charlize Theron. In Universal’s version of the fairy tale, The Huntsman is sent to kill Snow White by the evil queen (Theron), but ends up protecting her instead. Yeah, no one pushes The Might Thor around, except in all the scenes where Thor gets pushed around. (Deadline)

Goofing around with a guy who fights robots and frost giants is not a bad way to spend an afternoon. Hemsworth seems to be having fun talking about his breakthrough role. He thought Red Dawn and Cabin in the Woods were good gigs, but The Avengers will probably be out before we see those movies.

Q: Could you eat a burger or something? You’re making me look bad.

CH: [Laughs] I’m about to shoot The Avengers. I have to play the character again so I’m back in the gym and force feeding myself full of protein.

Q: I get the sense Ryan Reynolds is sick of people talking about his abs. Does the body obsession amuse you?

CH: It’s funny. You’ve got to laugh at it. It’s all very new for me. He’s been in the spotlight for a lot longer than I have. At the moment I’m happy to be working and whatever attention is a plus.

Q Thor learns his lesson in this movie. Where do you go once he’s learned to respect humanity and be humble?

CH: I was just thinking about that. That’s the challenge with having sequels. You don’t want to go through the same arc again and you want to have new challenges. Now he’s more mature than he was. Whether he falls back into some old habits or whether it’s a completely new challenge he’s faced with, I can only hope for that to be the case. The writers and director put it on the page. I’m sort of at the mercy of them in a sense.

Q: Did you ever see the Thor in Adventures in Babysitting?

CH: [Laughs] I didn’t. With Vincent D’Onofrio. I’ve heard a lot about it.

Q: What is it like to swing that hammer?

CH: It’s good fun. It’s a fairly unorthodo weapon in a lot of ways so we had to invent fighting style around it. It became an extension of your body and very much boxing technique was a big influence there. We wanted it to have a sort of brutality and a power to it so we talked about broadsword technique as well and incorporating that. It was a lot of fun, standing on the set and having 12 stunt guys say, “Yeah, just hit us. Go for it.” And there’ll be no consequence.

Q: Have you been on set on The Avengers yet?

CH: I haven’t, no. They started shooting about a week ago and I come on board in about a week’s time.

Q: What was the read through like

with you, Mark Ruffalo, Robert Downey Jr., Samuel L. Jackson and Chris Evans?

CH: We didn’t have one. That was the plan and then different schedules made that impossible. We’ve all individually spent a lot of time with Joss talking about the script and our characters. There may have been certain people who worked together more than others doing rehearsals and what have you but my main intro into it is going to be next week when I get there.

Q: Does it feel different than doing your own Thor movie?

CH: Sure, yeah. You can never have the same sort of attention that you have in your own movie obviously, because there’s seven other people who’ve got to fit into it. But it’s interesting and probably nicer to not carry all the weight and be surrounded by some people who are going to elevate your game and you can learn from. That’s exciting. They’re actors I’ve admired for years and the idea of working with them and the superheroes that they’re playing I think is going to be pretty iconic.

Q: Will your hammer as broadsword style apply to the fights in that film or will it be a completely different style?

CH: Oh no, you’ve still got to have the same somewhat fight sequence. I think you want it to be an evolution and you want to add in some new flairs or have some kind of new technique and moments. You don’t want to repeat the same things but still the structure of it is going to be pretty similar.

Q: Will changing the Chinese to Koreans really help Red Dawn?

CH: [Laughs] I have no idea. You have to ask the producers who made the decision. We as the actors, it was all kept pretty vague to us even when we were shooting. The Russians were in there, then the Chinese, now it’s the North Koreans. It wasn’t a political statement on anyone’s behalf. For us, the film was about the relationship of the kids and their interaction and banding together. So you’d have to ask the producers.

Q: Do all the MGM shenanigans hurt Red Dawn and Cabin in the Woods?

CH: I don’t know, I hadn’t really thought about it. When you film a film, you want it to come out soon. You want people to see it. It’s the representation of who you are at that point. It’ll be sort of a Benjamin Button effect when these films come out. I’ll get younger and younger.

Q: What is your character in Cabin in the Woods?

CH: He’s one of the young college kids. It’s the same, there’s a big secrecy around that just like there is with the Marvel films but it’s a blend. The Truman Show meets Night of the Living Dead is a pretty good comparison.

Q: That’s the thing. It’s been a secret for two years now, so by the time the film comes out people still won’t know what it is.

CH: I don’t know, once again my job is to go in there as the actor and do my bit. Everything beyond that, politically and what have you, I’m kept out of the loop. I think the secrets around it or people no knowing the story sometimes builds up an anticipation about it and some excitement. Hopefully that’s the case with this.

Q: How much of your life is tied up in Marvel-land the next few years?

CH: A lot of it. I do Avengers next. I’ve just done Thor and if this is a success, hopefully we do another one but that wouldn’t happen for probably quite a while. I’d love to launch into something else and not wear a big heavy costume and cape in the next one.

Q: Do you enjoy talking in Thor-speak?

CH: Sure, there was an old English sort of Shakespearean tone to it. It didn’t go as far as what the comic books head into but it certainly makes you feel or sound more like that period or those characters, as opposed to if you’re doing an American accent in a modern day speak. I guess I wouldn’t feel as much like someone from another realm.

Q: But even to speak like that in a Midwestern diner…

CH: Yeah, that was rather odd. That was strange because we’d shot everything in Asgard first. Then we’d come to Santa Fe and we shot that section, it felt like a completely different film. I felt very fish out of water during that period which the character was meant to feel so I guess it was beneficial. It was much harder to maintain that Thor-speak in that environment.

Thor crashes into theaters Friday.

It’s not known yet whether Hemsworth will actually take the role that Viggo Mortensen considered insufficient for his needs – “sloppy seconds,” if you will. (Deadline)

The film’s only good action sequence is the battle against the Frost Giants on their planet. Thor gets some good hammer whacks in and each of the Warriors Three (Ray Stevenson, Josh Dallas and Tadanobu Asano) and Sif (Jaimie Alexander) get to display various weapons and powers. You might as well do the whole movie on Asgard, but of course then Thor couldn’t joi The Avengers. The rest of the action is just beefy man fights.

The film even struggles to make Earth matter. All Thor (Chris Hemsworth) is doing on Earth is trying to get his hammer back. He goes out drinking with a scientist (Stellan Skarsgard) in a pointless scene, but what does Asgard do for us? Eventually Loki (Tom Hiddleston) unleashes the Destroyer so Thor has to defend us. That’s it? Asgard sends baddies to Earth and Thor fights them?

Natalie Portman Is All Over Thor In New Trailer

I get the arc Thor goes through but it’s still contrived. Oh, the hero learns a lesson. Loki tricks Thor, but he’s no Iago. He just says something that isn’t true. It’s not like he’s incepting Thor. Even though I’ve never read a Thor comic, I knew exactly what would happen when he tried to get his hammer back, and what would happen the second time.

The Asgard parts are like a modern day Clash of the Titans, gods standing around talking about battle but with better production value. They actually get through a lot of plot really quickly in the first act, but that only means they’re making room for more on Earth.

Jane Foster (Natalie Portman) discovers Thor during her physics research. She gets to be a love interest and explain the science of interplanetary travel, via her layman assistant Darcy (Kat Dennings). Coulson (Clark Gregg) is like a stealthy MIB type in this one, so I guess his character changes per movie. SHIELD investigates Thor’s hammer and blah blah blah. The Tony Stark reference is nice though.

They derive some good comedy when earthlings react to Thor-talk. The fish out of water joke gets old when he’s walking through traffic intersections. When Sif and the Warriors show up again they just get downright goofy. And I’m sorry, armor on earth looks silly.

At least Kenneth Branagh knows how to shoot destruction. The film looks good, and steady with no shaky cam. Even when he tilts the camera for establishing shots, the framing is still right. The 3D makes the backgrounds look like flat backdrops even though they’re probably actual graphic designs, but the perspective work is good. They make the frost giants tower over Odin (Anthony Hopkins).

The visual effects look like live-action people shooting through space, ice beasts and weather swirls. So, just like every other CGI movie. Honestly, why spend years on complex computer shots just so we can see the same effect? There is a tag after the credits though so stick around for your Easter egg.

2. Large security guards.

3. Sleepy medicine. (See above clip.)

I’ve got to say, Chris Hemsworth‘s Thor is looking like a total jackass in the preview footage. Director Kenneth Branagh seems to be leaning more towards goofy than ass-kicking. Of course, these are minute long previews, so it’s hard to judge, but these clips aren’t getting me psyched. Neither are the lame posters. Is there a Norse God of Good Movie Marketing they can pray to before May 6th?

Then, in a strange out-of-nowhere shot, it’s a Hawkeye cameo. There he is, hanging out in a metal airlift in the pouring rain. I’d say lightning would be a problem, especially cause Thor can summon lightning as one of his powers. However, judging by this Thor’s strength and survival skills, I think that won’t be an issue.

Thor, directed by Kenneth Branagh, struggles in the mud and into theaters May 6th. (IGN)

Thor descends into theaters April 27th, along with Natalie Portman and Anthony Hopkins.

The posters feature six characters from the movie, and they look like they should be holding cards with their heights and weights. There’s Chris Hemsworth at Thor, Tom Hiddleston as Loki, Anthony Hopkins as Odin, Idris Elba as Heimdall, Natalie Portman as Jane Foster and Jaimie Alexander as Sif. Now you know a little bit more about Norse mythology than you did before. Thanks, Marvel! (via Firstshowing.net)