Screen Junkies » chelsea handler

Because You Hate Yourself, Watch Gwyneth Paltrow & Cameron Diaz Rap Terribly

Wookie Johnson — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 20:42:57 +0000

I don’t….

Chelsea Handler Was Attacked By A Sea Lion

Wookie Johnson — Wed, 12 Sep 2012 12:58:51 +0000

When you make a living by skewering pop culture with brutal honesty, it’s only natural that you open yourself up to attacks. Not only from Joan Rivers, but all manner of beast. Chelsea Handler was attacked by a sea lion while recently paddle boarding and had a chunk bitten out of her leg. She revealed her bandages on a recent episode of Chelsea Lately, and went on to explain how she survived this harrowing ordeal.

“I just remember from being on safari the guy was like, ‘Just make loud noises.’ So I’m in the water with one arm in the paddle board and I [made noises] and it worked! It really worked.”

So there you have it. Loud noises. For future reference, you can also make things go away by showing them episodes of Are You There, Chelsea? (US Weekly)

Vincent D’Onofrio And Chelsea Handler Seen Hanging Out At ‘Mall’

Joseph Gibson — Fri, 06 May 2011 16:25:40 +0000

Eric Bogosian’s novel Mall is coming to a big screen near you, perhaps at the mall, thanks to the efforts of star/producer/scriptwriter Vincent D’Onofrio. He’ll be sharing the food court with Chelsea Handler and Bogosian. There’s a really interesting facet to this story that you should know, but before I get to it I’ll give you a quick synopsis on the movie:

“The film follows the intersecting paths of five disaffected suburbanites: a stoner teen, restless housewife (a dark role to be played by Handler), a voyeuristic businessman (D’Onofrio), a mall security guard and a trigger-happy crystal meth addict who heads to the mall looking for trouble”

OK, sounds pretty interesting, right? Well, remember that “interesting facet” I alluded to before (if you don’t, see a doctor immediately because you have short-term memory loss)? Here it is: The movie is going to be directed by Joe Hahn OF THE BAND LINKIN PARK. That’s right – a movie about a bunch of crazy people at a mall is going to be directed by a member of one of the definitive mall rock bands. Funny, right? See you at the mall! (Deadline)

Laura Prepon Is Banging Lots Of Dudes And Yelling At Dwarves

Wookie Johnson — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 13:51:42 +0000

While her former “That 70′s Show” cast mates bang Natalie Portman on film, recover from Spider-Man 3, and do whatever it is that Wilmer Valderrama does now, Laura Prepon is ready to offend. She’s signed on to channel Chelsea Handler in the comedienne’s autobiographical comedy pilot.

In “Are You There Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea,” Prepon plays a twentysomething version of Handler who pounds drinks and most of the men in her zip code and whatever rappers happen to be passing through town. So, Prepon plays Handler in her twenties. Huh. You’d think the girl would want to branch out a little and not star in another show set in the 1970′s. (Deadline)

NBC Wants To Be Funny, And Not In A Pitiful Way

Penn Collins — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 21:31:52 +0000

NBC execs woke up this morning, clouded in shame and the stench of Wonder Woman‘s perfume, and decided to take a couple steps to make things right. Namely, they decided to pick up four comedy pilots from established comedians that actually have decent premises. How delightfully novel, NBC!

The biggest pickup of the day is certainly the pilot based on Chelsea Handler‘s memoirs, Are You There God? It’s Me Chelsea. It essentially follows around a 20-something girl that lives her life, drinking and screwing a lot. It will be shot in a multi-camera format and development will be handled by the creators of “Dharma & Greg.” I don’t care if “Dharma & Greg” people are involved. I’m still optimistic.

Then there’s “Brave New World,” a comedy that follows a group of people working together at a theme park intended to recreate 1637 New England. I’m a sucker for jokes about blacksmiths and coopers, so needless to say, I’m pretty fired up about this one. Peter Tolan is running the show here and should have his hands full considering just yesterday another of his pilots, “The Council of Dads” got picked up yesterday by Fox.

Comedian Whitney Cummings got her currently untitled project picked up by NBC, , but Deadline says “focuses on a young couple and the ups and downs of a committed relationship in today’s complicated world.” Is television ready for such a show? Cummings is a promising talent, so let’s hope they flesh out the concept a little more as they move forward.

Finally, NBC got their dirty paws on “My Life As an Experiment”, which is based on the book by A.J. Jacobs, and will be produced by Jack Black, among others. Jacobs has a reputation for incorporating bizarre challenges into his real life, then reporting the effects. He’s lived according to the bible, and read the entire encyclopedia, then reported the effects of the experiments on his marriage.”Honey, why are there ants all over the house? Oh, brother! Here we go again!” That’s a spec line I wrote that the show is free to use.