Are we good? Okay, great. So, Charlie Sheen is going on tour. When the “Charlie Sheen‘s: Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat Is Not an Option” was announced, he was only scheduled to make just 2 stops, which is the lamest amount of stops to qualify as a “tour.”

Now the Insanity Express is starting to shape up. Sheen and his extremely frustrated lawyers have added 12 new stops across the US and Canada. I posted the list below. God knows what you’ll be seeing, hearing or forced to experience at a Charlie Sheen one-man show. I think the expectations for craziness are so high that he’s got to go the other way at this point and give a somber, well-reasoned argument for his side of the “Two and a Half Men“-ocalypse. But the odds of anything rational sounding coming out of Sheen’s Traveling Korner are minimal at best.

However, at the end of the day, he’s taking crazy all the way to the crazy bank, making $300,000 for just the first two sold out performances in Detroit and Chicago. (Hollywood Reporter)

April 14
Toronto, ON
Massey Hall

April 16
Atlantic City, NJ
Taj Mahal

April 19
Washington, DC
DAR Constitution Hall

April 21
Atlanta, GA
Fox Theater

April 22
Tampa Bay, FL
St. Pete Times Union

April 23
Ft. Lauderdale, FL
BankAtlantic Center

April 26
Houston, TX
Verizon Wireless

April 27
Dallas, TX
American Airlines Center

April 28
Denver, CO
Wells Fargo

April 30
San Francisco, CA
Nob Hill

May 02
Vancouver, BC
Rogers Arena

May 03
Seattle, WA
Comcast Arena

The show is called “Charlie Sheen LIVE: My Violent Torpedo of Truth.” I assume the tour is sponsored by Tiger Blood. Here’s an official description:

“Will there be mayhem? Will you ask questions? Will you laugh? Will you scream? Will you know the truth?”

Uh… will I?

I guess the whole ousted-TV-star-turned-road-warrior thing worked for Conan O’Brien, but at least with Conan‘s live show I had some idea of what to expect. For all you know, a $35 ticket will buy you an evening of Sheen screaming the word “trolls” at you and your girlfriend. Of course, on the other hand, I’ve had worse dates. (CNN, Ticketmaster)