When these two slime monsters do agree to squirt their fluids inside one another, the gossip machine will cave in on itself and the E! reporters will have brain overloads that cause them to forget the word ‘Kardashian’. So, there is a silver lining. But, as of today, their genitals adhering to one another like Velcro before raising the Nightmare City of R’lyeh has yet to occur.

So we can rest assured, the Scary Movie franchise is the only place a union so unholy can happen. But also, shame on you Scary Movie franchise. You’ve been helping terrible people be terrible for too long. Praise the Lord that Leslie Nielsen and his fart machine aren’t around to see this.