Screen Junkies » celebrity commercial

Claymation Machete Loves Iced Tea

Col. Longshanks — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 17:35:14 +0000

Machete may not text, but he does shill ice tea. In this commercial for Lipton Brisk, a claymatio Machete, voiced by Danny Trejo, summarizes the entire plot of his movie in one minute. It’s an extremely brisk tale indeed. I wonder why they bothered gumming up the story with another 90 minutes of repetitive action. The only problem I see with this advertisement is its focus. Is it selling Machete on Blu-ray, iced tea, or both? And who is it appealing to? Mexicans, old women, or fanboys? Don Draper would have never let this happen. (ThePlaylist)

Links Away: Guillermo Del Toro Is a Gassy Werewolf

Reza F. — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 01:46:25 +0000

Everyone’s got to start somewhere. For visionary director Guillermo del Toro, somewhere was the set of a Mexican Alka-Seltzer commercial back in 1991. He directed and also starred in the commercial as a fresh-faced young lad with gas issues. Not quite as riveting as Pan’s Labyrinth, but the werewolf part definitely kept me on the edge of my seat. Also, at about 15 seconds in you get to see an early incarnation of del Toro’s signature neck beard. (JoBlo)

Fight indigestion with these links:

Fake Musket Used In Failed Robbery (Asylum)

Suicide Jumper Survives After Landing In Pile of Garbage (BarstoolSports)

Phil Baroni Was Never Really Great At Losing (CagePotato)

MILF Monday: Natalie Portman (HolyTaco)

Quentin Tarantino Loves Toy Story 3 (FilmDrunk)

Gweneth Paltrow On Sleeping With a Rock Star (MovieFone)

Hollywood’s 25 Best Quotes of 2010 (NextMovie)

Celebrity Death Pool 2011 (CelebJihad)

The 10 Best Movie Trailers of 2010 (Unreailty)

Hot Girls Drinking Drinks (Maxim)

Turn a Friendship Into a Relationship (MadeMan)

20 Famous Dudes Rocking Kilts (Smosh)

Sexy College Bowl Game Girls (TotalProSports)

Flamethrower Water Gun (TuVez)

Five Lesser-Known Celebrity Couples (Pajiba)

Snooki Wrote a Book (PopEater)

Top 10 Fox News Fails of 2010 (Ranker)

Kevin Bacon’s a Big Fan Of Kevin Bacon

Col. Longshanks — Thu, 02 Dec 2010 17:46:17 +0000

In this commercial for Logitech Revue with Google TV, Kevin Bacon plays Kevin Bacon’s number one fan. It leaves me wondering if this is what Kevin actually looks like when he’s not in front of the cameras. When Kyra Sedgwick rolls over in the morning, is this what she sees? Thinning hair and greasy skin? I’m on to you, Bacon. I knew that thick mop on your head had to be a wig. It’s too much luster for one man to possess. (BuzzFeed)

Julia Roberts Earned $1.5 Million To Smile In This Commercial

Col. Longshanks — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 20:15:42 +0000

Lavazza’s paid Julia Roberts 1.5 millions bones to sip their Modo Mio coffee and flash her pearly whites in a commercial. They could have at least demanded she unhinge her jaw and swallow a whole turkey. I guess if you want the high power actress with the biggest mouth IN THE WORLD you have to pay for it. Does Roberts posing as Boticelli’s Venus make you want to go out and buy this product? Don’t argue semantics with me, let’s just pretend you live in Italy! I understand her seizing this opportunity, but why on earth would Lavazza pay so much? The return better be worth it. I’m going to need that quarterly report on my desk as soon as the quarter is up **adjusts cufflinks** (TheDailyMail)

Links Away: Alec Baldwin Loves $6 Meals

Col. Longshanks — Fri, 19 Nov 2010 00:49:31 +0000

Alec Baldwin can’t get enough of Wegman’s homecooked $6 meals. This awkward commercial proves it. How much did they have to pay Baldwin to agree to this awful campaign? It had to be upwards of 10,000 homecooked $6 meals. (Vulture)

The Nine Most Unintentionally Terrifying Kids Shows (Asylum)

Off Duty Cop Attacks Lady at Hooters (BarstoolSports)

Zuffa Serves Google With Cease and Desist Letter (CagePotato)

25 Pairs of Stately Man Boobs (HolyTaco)

True Grit Still Looks Badass (FilmDrunk)

Best Prison Break Movies (MovieFone)

Kristen Stewart In Her Twighlight Bikini (CelebJihad)

Halo Then and Now Isn’t So Different (Unreality)

Sexy Girls in Sweaters (Maxim)

This Device Will Find Your Porn (MadeMan)

25 Celebrity Nose Pickers (Smosh)

Frozen Fisticuffs of the Night (TotalProSports)

Guy Stuck in a Gutter (TuVez)

The Cast of Harry Potter Speaks the Freedom Language (Pajiba)

Matt Damon Wants You to Help Feed America (PopEater)

Top 13 Craziest Harry Potter Fan Moments (Ranker)

James Bond Is No Match For Christina Hendricks

Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

You may remember this Visa commercial with the Tomorrow Never Dies tie-in, but I bet you don’t remember that your favorite buxom redhead stopped Bond at the pass.

These links require I.D.

_{‘Better Off Dead’ 25th Anniversary Of The Cult Comedy (}_Moviefone₎

_{‘Hood Dates’– Skee-Ball And Scum At Coney Island (}_Asylum₎

_{The Worst Movies Of All Time (}_Ranker₎

_{My 4 Most Memorable Moments From College (}_HolyTaco₎

_{Casey Affleck Sats Joaquin Phoenix Documentary ‘No Hoax’ (}_FilmDrunk₎

_{21 Awesome Police Cars (}_Maxim₎

_{Former WWE Star Arrested For Dealing Meth And Oxycontin (}_{BarStoolSports}₎

_{25 Extremely Lame Knuckle Tattoos (}_EgoTV₎

_{10 Movies You’d Never, Ever Want To Watch With Your Parents (}_Pajiba₎

_{Mario And Chun Li Get Drunk And Swap Clothes (}_Unreality₎

_{BMX Nutshot + Face Plant (}_{TotalProSports}₎

_{Hokey Spokes (}_Smosh₎

_{Top 20 Colleges To Attend For One Semester (}_BroBible₎

_{Jennifer Love Hewitt In Lingerie Sexy Again (}_CelebJihad₎

_{Will Chuck Retire His Mohawk, Too? (}_CagePotato₎

_{‘Sister Wives’ Brings ‘Big Love‘ To Reality TV (}_PopEater₎

_{Elvis’s Mercedes-Benz 600 (}_MadeMan₎

Gary Busey’s Funny/Disturbing Vitamin Water Commercial

Col. Longshanks — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 23:30:23 +0000

Gary Busey plays Norman Tugwater: Fantasy Sports Lawyer. His job is to help already filthy rich athletes get their piece of the fantasy league pie. Adrian Peterson and Shaq aren’t afraid to call him their attorney. I’d be afraid to call him my anything. The man’s face is so asymmetrical.

Drink down these links. Drink ‘em down!

_{Jimmy Kimmel Finds A Lawyer For Tila Tequila’s ‘Juggalos’ Lawsuit (}_TVSquad₎

_{Rare Collection Of 3D Nude Pin-Ups At Film Forum (}_Asylum₎

_{The 7 Greatest Homemade Sex Toys For Men (}_Ranker₎

_{This Is How You Get Chicks (}_HolyTaco₎

_{Fishburne Done Talking to his Porn Star Daughter (}_FilmDrunk₎

_{Undressed To Impress (}_Maxim₎

_{French Babe Robbers Steal Man’s Cash After Distracting Him With Tits (}_{BarStoolSports}₎

_{Rollerblades + Stupidity (}_EgoTV₎

_{10 British Television Actors That America Should Steal (}_Pajiba₎

_{Gallery Of The Coolest Comic Book Tattoos (}_Unreality₎

_{Amazing Basketball Shot From A Free Fall Ride (}_{TotalProSports}₎

_{Google Earth Captures A Dead Body?!!! (}_Smosh₎

_{New Eva Mendes Pics From ‘Flaunt’ Magazine Shoot (}_BroBible₎

_{Is Megan Fox Hotter Than Brigitte Bardot? (}_CelebJihad₎

_{Matt Horwich, The New Middleweight Champion Of The Multiverse (}_CagePotato₎

_{Sex, Blood, And Rolling Stone’s New’True Blood‘ Cover (}_PopEater₎

_{Swedish Man Sets Speeding Ticket Record (}_MadeMen₎

Mickey Rourke Wants a F*ckin’ Beer

Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Mickey Rourke stars in this commercial where he’s essentially playing his gruff self. He sits down at a hotel bar with his chihuahua, orders a beer, and the bartender has the balls to give him a non-alcoholic brand. The man must be suicidal. Who in their right mind tries to pull one over on Mickey Rourke when he would clearly have no qualms about using your eye socket as a bottle opener? If anyone knows when something’s lacking alcohol, it’s Rourke. (FilmDrunk)