From the morning talk shows, to TMZ, to E! Online, “Good-Time Charlie” has been regaling the common man with tales of his wondrous lifestyle, while at the same time, delivering violent warnings to his enemies.
Since it looks like we won’t be seeing new episodes of “Two and a Half Men” any time soon, if ever (fingers crossed) we decided that now would be a great time to take a look back fondly at the five greatest “Two and a Half Men” moments. Yes, it was difficult, but we actually found five.
At the beginning of the week, we all wondered what caused reporter Serene Branson to sound like a “Twin Peaks” dream sequence during her Grammys recap. Now, Branson describes what happened in her own words. This time in English, please!
Rob Riggle wins the Super Bowl of acting gigs, starring in a potentially very lucrative CBS sitcom.
In Hollywood, you can go to a bank, give them a new sci-fi drama pilot script with J. J. Abrams’ name attached, and the bank will give you money. It’s basically currency.
Deuce Bigalow is ready to get back into TV. I wonder how he got the confidence, with no one around to tell him that *he* can do it.
Charlie Sheen’s reps believe one and a half men will become “Two and a Half Men” again by late February. Damn it, we were just beginning to enjoy the “Men”-lessness.
Bust out your jars of Mentholatum ’cause I’m about to shorten your breath. Everyone’s favorite Tila Tequila, Tila Tequila, will be appearing on this week’s episode of “$#*! My Dad Says.”
The next facet of Conan O’Briens slow, mafia-like revenge on NBC has gone into effect.
On February 21, lock your pies up in the kitchen because Jason Biggs will be broadcast in your living room. CBS’s new sitcom “Mad Love” stars Biggs as a New York lawyer falling in love.
Sarah Michelle Gellar will be heading back to your television… twice. Granted, both roles are on the same show.
The playa haters at CBS and Warner Bros still want to get “Two and a Half Men” star Charlie Sheen cleaned up. Problem is, how do you clean Charlie Sheen up?
In a move that will surprise no one, CBS has ordered three more seasons of their massively successful 3 camera sitcom, The Big Bang Theory.
CBS has a huge hit on their hands with the series adaptation of Twitter sensation “$#*! My Dad Says,” so it makes sense they’d want to stick their fingers in more sticky Internet pies. Enter Antoine Dodson.
Bad news for people who like bad television. CBS has canceled Patricia Arquette’s supernatural thriller, “Medium.”
When screenwriters Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman wrote the new Star Trek movie for J.J. Abrams, Trek fans were like, “How can you build the Enterprise on earth? That makes no sense. And Capt. Kirk in a bar fight? Come on.” Then it came out and fans pretty much unanimously agreed, “Thank you for bringing back Star Trek. You did it right. Now what’s the next one about?”
Now the duo is rebooting “Hawaii Five-O,” a TV series everyone’s probably heard of, that ran for much longer than Star Trek, but people probably don’t remember as well. We know the theme song and “Book him, Danno” but there’s not the attachment. The new version plays pretty much like a straight modern action show, but there are enough references and Easter eggs to make it feel special. If you know the original you’ll feel like they got it. If you don’t know the original, you’ll feel like they’re letting you in on a secret.
More after the jump…
“The Big Bang Theory” brings its A game when it moves to Thursdays. They’ve got an episode that should keep all their fans comfortable with the new night, and it’s broad enough that it won’t scare off the Thursday night visitors.
It comes up with a situation that certainly puts Sheldon (recent Emmy winner Jim Parsons) in a position to let his personality loose. There’s also a technology story that’s a little lowbrow, but in an intellectual context. The A and B story provide a good balance of relationship humor and nerd humor. I’m surprised it took the show this long to go where the B story goes.
More after the jump…
“How I Met Your Mother” is a comedy with as many secrets as “Lost.” I can’t really spoil anything that happens in the season premiere, so I’ll just try to talk about the comedy and tease the cool stuff that develops in the plot.
It opens with something that a new viewer to the show might think is a big reveal. Of course we know they never get right to the point. They like to set up some future event and then go back and slowly lead back up to it until we realize what we thought we were seeing wasn’t actually what we were seeing.
More after the jump…
When CBS presented their new fall drama “The Defenders” at the Paley Center for Media in Beverly Hills, the producers told the press that they were eying Dan Aykroyd to play a tough judge who Jim Belushi will face later in the season. The new Blues Brothers go way back, so creator and executive producer Kevin Kennedy thinks it will be easy to get Aykroyd. Belushi actually wanted him sooner but Kennedy didn’t want to stunt cast the pilot.
“Obviously he and Jim are friends,” Kennedy told Screen Junkies on the red carpet at the Paley center. “I believe he did a couple of “According to Jim”s. They’ve talked about it. Jim asked him. Jim suggested him to play the judge in the pilot and we said, ‘You know what? We’d like to save that because we think we could really plan for it and write something specific for it.’ So we talked about it and we asked Danny if he’d be interested in doing it. In theory, yes. It’s a matter of time. It’s a matter of making the schedules work and obviously Danny has to like the script. It’s a long way down the road but it’s a dream.”
More after the jump…
A trailer for the new season of "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" runs through all the weird sh*t that has happened in seasons past. Not sure if this to inspire viewers to watch, or to make them realize, "Why the hell did I watch this crap?" But before that thought can sink in, they hit us with the image of a jailed Justin Bieber. I have a feeling he's only in there because he wants to be. He's like The Joker.
Check it out after jump…
Brad Pitt is an old man for real this time. According to producers of CBS's "Survivor" that is. The show is taking an ageist position by pitting the 20 castmembers of "Survivor: Nicaragua" into two tribes: young and old. The old tribe will be made up of people 40 and over, while the young tribe will consist of those 30 and younger. Not sure what they plan to do with those between the ages of 30 and 40. Will they exterminate them a la Logan's Run? If so, I've gotta get my middle-aged ass the f*ck out of Nicaragua!! (Deadline)
"So then I sez to her, I can pay to have you killed."People is reporting that Charlie Sheen will serve a minimum of fifteen days in jail for chasing his wife with a knife on Christmas Eve and threatening to kill her. That hardly seems fair. IT WAS CHRISTMAS. The most stressful time of year. Who here hasn't wanted/tried to kill their girlfriend/wife/sorority-girls-who-now-inhabit-your-childhood-home during the Christmas season? If you don't raise your hand, you're a liar.But don't worry. Charlie's time in the pokey won't prevent him from earning a multi-million dollar paycheck for spouting off lame sexual euphemisms before canned gasps, chuckles, and wolf whistles. The plea deal will allow him to serve his time before "Two and a Half Men's" shooting schedule reconvenes. Thank God! Not the real God that we all love. One of those sinister evil ones.
The Parents Television Council has their panties in a bunch again, and this time the issue is over a word that isn't even a word. The new CBS comedy "$#*! My Dad Says" uses symbols to spell out the word "shit" and when spoken the naughtiness will be bleeped, but the PTC doesn't even want brains to get all filthy with interpretations.“CBS intentionally chose to insert an expletive into the actual name of a show, and, despite its claim that the word will be bleeped, it is just CBS’ latest demonstration of its contempt for families and the public. There are an infinite number of alternatives that CBS could have chosen but its desire to shock and offend is crystal clear in this decision,” said PTC President Tim Winter. "The title of this show is the opposite of fleeting (profanity) – it is bold, shameless, and in-your-face. It really is quite unreal how contemptious CBS is of families and the public. In fact, just this afternoon they released a new logo that's offensive to both parents and children alike.Not cool, The Eye. Not cool. (Deadline)
That sandwich doesn't stand a chance with Belushi hanging around. UPDATE: I've added clips of the new shows after the jump. CBS announced its new schedule of shows that you will avoid but still discuss awkwardly with someone's grandparents today. As previously announced, the Twitter phenom that stole our sweet Patrick away, "S#*! My Dad Says" will go up against "30 Rock" in the Thursday at 8:30 slot. "The Big Bang Theory" is its solid lead-in in a bid to grab every Trekkie for a solid hour. Tom Selleck and Jim Belushi return to TV with "Blue Bloods" and "The Defenders" respectively. And Grace Park in a bikini will change your granddad's opinion of Koreans with a rebooted "Hawaii Five-O." CHECK OUT THE FULL SCHEDULE WITH NEW SHOWS AND NEW TIMESLOTS AND NEW CLIPS AFTER THE JUMP…
Charlie Sheen has problems. You have problems. Charlie Sheen drinks too much. You drink too much. Charlie Sheen has a shitty job. You have a shitty job. Charlie Sheen could make as much as $100 million dollars over the next two years for filming "Two and a Half Men." You'll be lucky if they make you an example in a "Faces of Meth" poster. Sheen's upfront salary is pegged at right around $1.25 million per seg, not the $1.8 million-$1.9 million previously reported ( Daily Variety , May 18). But Sheen's sizable profit participation stake in "Men" has sources close to the deal pegging the value of the additional 48 episodes at as much as $100 million to the thesp. With this new contract, Sheen's net worth is probably higher than the GDP of some third-world countries. Of course, that's assuming he hasn't blown most of it on hookers and blow, which he most certainly has. But this cash might be just what Sheen needs to find out the truth about September 11th. In fact, if you're reading, Charlie, I happen to have some information about the real culprit. His name starts with an "O" and ends with an "ama." For a million dollars, I'll clue you in on the missing letters. (Variety)
CBS has officially picked up the sitcom based on the Twitter phenomenon Shit My Dad Says, assigning it the current (tentative?) title of "Bleep My Dad Says." We here at Screen Junkies would like to offer a massive congratulations to former SJ Managing Editor Patrick Schumacker and former Holy Taco Managing Editor Justin Halpern, co-creators of the show along with "Will & Grace" creators Max Mutchnik and David Kohan.William Shatner stars in the lead role as Ed the dad who says all the bleep (shit). The part of the Henry the son is played by Ryan Devlin in the pilot, but CBS has decided to recast the role. There's no word yet which actor in town has big enough balls to spar with Shatner. If you have a commanding presence please mail your headshot to the Warner Bros. water tower. Mark it Attention: Animaniacs. They'll get back to you ASAP. (Deadline)