Screen Junkies » cbs http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Wed, 10 Sep 2014 19:33:46 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 James Van Der Beek To (Finally) Return To Our Lives In ‘CSI: Cyber’ As…Agent Elijah Mundo http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/james-van-der-beek-to-finally-return-to-our-lives-in-csi-cyber-as-agent-elijah-mundo/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/james-van-der-beek-to-finally-return-to-our-lives-in-csi-cyber-as-agent-elijah-mundo/#comments Thu, 07 Aug 2014 16:56:33 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=263868 The only thing better is if he was reprising his role, as a washed-up, gritty Jonathan Moxon, who lives on a house-boat and has a drinking problem.

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Oh yes. Oh God, a thousand times yes. It was only a matter of time before the CBS parade of procedurals became self-aware and started intentionally hamming it up on a project level, as the stars (namely David Caruso) have been doing it for over a decade now.

As we had reported a few months back, CSI is returning to dazzle old people with the internet, hackers, and America Online with CSI: Cyber. Makes sense. Old people should learn about the internet before they die, and CBS already has their attention.

But now it’s got ours. CSI has hired everyone’s favorite actor of all time, James Van Der Beek, to play the ridiculously named Elijah Mundo, a hothead who plays by his own rules while typing or playing Candy Crush or something. 

The details are not that important, but he’s on the show and will be a star. Looks like, against all odds, CSI gave us something to look forward to.

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New York Paid $16 Million To Keep Colbert And The ‘Late Show’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/new-york-paid-16-million-to-keep-colbert-and-the-late-show/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/new-york-paid-16-million-to-keep-colbert-and-the-late-show/#comments Wed, 23 Jul 2014 23:17:36 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=263311 Yes, but how much will they spend to acquire Carson Daly?

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The Ed Sullivan Theater, David Letterman, and the Late Show have all been ingrained in the fabric of New York City, but the relationship came into question when it was announced that Letterman was retiring and Stephen Colbert was taking over.

Never to worry, though. New York through a bunch of cash at CBS and the show is staying where it is. The report is $16 million, as the headline states, but it’s actually a $5 million grant to improve the theater, some tax breaks, and a bunch of other convoluted mechanisms. That’s too bad, because I would have really liked to see Governor Andrew Cuomo hand Colbert a trash bag full of cash as they both smiled for the cameras.

In any event, LA won’t be getting Colbert or his show. Oh well, WE STILL HAVE THE BECKHAMS AND NIC CAGE.

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Jennifer Love Hewitt To Bring Credibility To ‘Criminal Minds’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/jennifer-love-hewitt-to-bring-credibility-to-criminal-minds/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/jennifer-love-hewitt-to-bring-credibility-to-criminal-minds/#comments Wed, 02 Jul 2014 21:17:59 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=262666 Game over, crime.

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Watch out, criminals. FBI Agent Jennifer Love Hewitt is going to hunt you down. The Texas Handjob Show star is joining the cast of CBS’s Criminal Minds as a series regular for its tenth(!) season. Hewitt will play Kate Callahan, a skilled undercover agent who lands a position with the BAU. Showrunner and EP, Erica Messer says, “We have exciting storylines planned for her character and the entire BAU team as we head into our 10th season.”

Let’s hope that exciting = GIFable. (Variety)

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Nostalgia Alert: The ‘Arsenio Hall Show’ Has Been Cancelled http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/nostalgia-alert-the-arsenio-hall-show-has-been-cancelled/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/nostalgia-alert-the-arsenio-hall-show-has-been-cancelled/#comments Mon, 02 Jun 2014 17:57:29 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=261947 The dog pound is now set to be euthanized.

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If you loved the early 90′s, you’ll delight in the news that The Arsenio Hall Show has been cancelled, just like it was when we were listening to Hammer and rooting for a young Arkansas upstart named Bill Clinton. Where does the time go?

While it’s not surprising that the program didn’t do well in 2014, what is surprising is that CBS had already promised the show a second season, which it now is undoubtedly weaseling out of.

The show started strong in September when it premiered, but, in explaining the cancellation, CBS cited that the show was “unable to grow its audience,” which is kind of unfair. I would think that the lines are drawn on The Arsenio Hall Show on day one. No one’s “on the fence” about Arsenio Hall. That’s ridiculous.

Maybe now he can focus on that Coming to America sequel that we’re definitely not asking for.

 

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CBS Will NOT Be Bringing Us ‘How I Met Your Dad’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/general/cbs-will-not-be-bringing-us-how-i-met-your-dad/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/general/cbs-will-not-be-bringing-us-how-i-met-your-dad/#comments Mon, 19 May 2014 17:24:29 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=261733 The show could live on elsewhere, though.

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CBS announced the series it was picking up last Friday, and the How I Met Your Mother spin-off, re-boot, re-whatever How I Met Your Dad didn’t make the cut. A couple days later CBS announced it was done with the show.

This means the show could find a home on another network, and if all those insider-y entertainment trade mags are to be believed, there’s interest out there, though no networks were named specifically.

When asked why CBS passed on it, an exec said, “There were elements of the pilot that didn’t work out,” which although, vague, conveys that the network just didn’t think the show was very good, rather than citing marketing concerns of something like that.

Maybe they just thought people would be sick of McLaren’s pub.

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‘CSI: Cyber’ Is Coming To CBS, And Will Cause Old People To Cancel Their AOL Accounts http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/csi-cyber-is-coming-to-cbs-and-will-cause-old-people-to-cancel-their-aol-accounts/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/csi-cyber-is-coming-to-cbs-and-will-cause-old-people-to-cancel-their-aol-accounts/#comments Mon, 12 May 2014 15:45:38 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=261607 The hackers will have mohawks and names like FortressBreaker.

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While a name like CSI: Cyber may cause an entire generation (or several) to roll their eyes after having been subjected to enough “Can we enhance this image?” and cyber-bullying storylines, old people haven’t gotten the memo yet.

And because old people watch CBS, they’ll be getting CSI: Cyber. The show, the fourth installment of the crime procedural franchise, will undoubtedly focus on how touching a keyboard or looking at your niece’s graduation photos will result in your identity stolen by al-Queda.

Patricia Arquette will star in the show, which I guess is news in that it’s something you weren’t aware of, but may not clear the bar of “something interesting or pertinent that needed to be share.”

CBS has picked up four other dramas, so while they’ve stepped back from that ledge of Big Bang Theory and terrible three-camera sitcoms, some might argue that the cure is worse than the disease.

Let’s all go watch cable now.

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Norm Macdonald Would Like To Host ‘The Late Late Show’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/norm-macdonald-would-like-to-host-the-late-late-show/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/norm-macdonald-would-like-to-host-the-late-late-show/#comments Mon, 05 May 2014 17:08:25 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=261431 Internet. Make this happen.

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With Craig Ferguson also leaving his post at CBS, we’ve been left to wonder who will replace him as host of The Late Late Show and will he take his robot skeleton puppet with him? While CBS continues to affirm that they have not decided who they will hire to host, a new name has been tossed into the hat. A name that would be really great at making late night weird again. A name that starred in Vampire Dog. From Splitsider:

What happened is a Norm Macdonald fan started the Twitter hashtag #latelatenormnorm yesterday, and ever since, Macdonald has been retweeting every single tweet with the hashtag in a pretty blatant attempt to express interest in the job and build momentum, or maybe he’s just goofing around.

Responding to a fan on Twitter, Macdonald says he has “no idea” if him getting the job is a possibility, explaining, “I haven’t been approached by CBS. I assumed they already have someone. I know Les Moonves, really cool guy.”

For Norm’s sake, let’s hope that Moonves is not friends with OJ.

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Report: Stephen Colbert Is The Top Choice To Replace Letterman http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/report-stephen-colbert-is-the-top-choice-to-replace-letterman/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/report-stephen-colbert-is-the-top-choice-to-replace-letterman/#comments Sat, 05 Apr 2014 04:25:33 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=260880 May he'll play some cowardly liberal this time around.

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Not even 24 hours after news of David Letterman’s retirement plans from The Late Show hit social media, then the airwaves, we’ve already got rumblings on who is favored to get the job. And it’s none other than Stephen Colbert, currently on a tear on Comedy Central’s The Colbert Report.

The rumors started from Nikki Finke, who is, by all accounts, a pretty lousy person, but pretty good at breaking stories. She first posted this Tweet:

 

The landscape of white, male heirs is pretty limited, with Neil Patrick Harris‘ name bandied about. But current Late Late Show host Craig Ferguson has said he doesn’t want it in the past, and doesn’t appear to be much of a consideration.

So, the word on the street is that Colbert’s contract is up in about a year. Letterman is retiring in about a year. The consensus is also that Colbert would drop the neo-conservative schtick and just act like a regular human being, something he hasn’t really done on camera in ages.

So assuming there’s plenty of money to go around, which I’m sure there is, two big questions stem from this news:

1) Colbert has demonstrated on the show that he does a show that engages him and his devoted fans. He’s never done much to expand his audience. He gets unknown (albeit interesting and fun) intellectuals, academics, and pundits to appear on his show, he would rather have LCD Soundsystem (R.I.P.) or Andrew Bird (hopefully R.I.P.’ing soon) on his show than Katy Perry or Drake. Which begs the question:

WOULD HE WANT TO DO IT? 

2) Colbert is a smart guy with a nerdy streak. He’s essentially made his career by mocking politics in general and conservatism more specifically, and for obvious reasons, would have to play more politically agnostic to a broader audience.

In what may shed some light on these two issues is a new Mashable story, which is quoting unnamed sources that say not only is Colbert the “front and center” candidate (not that I’ve ever heard that idiom used to describe someone favored for something, but I think I get the spirit of the comment), but Colbert is apparently excited to take it. 

Of course, this all could just be the work of a web outlet, recklessly citing mailroom banter to manufacture a story and drive page views. However, the fact that all the outlets have are credible, and that they seemed to come to this conclusion independent of one another suggests that they’re could be some truth here.

Should we give this news more than 24 hours to marinate before predicting a turn of events that could be 12 months out?

F*ck no. This is the Internet, not…not…not…PRINT JOURNALISM.

Ick.

More on this story as we get some confirmation that these other guys are tracking in the right direction. Meanwhile, enjoy the Colbert Report. If this is to be believed, it might not be long for this world.

 

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Watch David Letterman Announce That He Is Out This Bitch http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/watch-david-letterman-announce-that-he-is-out-this-bitch/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/watch-david-letterman-announce-that-he-is-out-this-bitch/#comments Fri, 04 Apr 2014 17:06:06 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=260851 The 'Late Night' host retires in order to marry his true love.

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As you’ve likely heard by now, David Letterman is retiring. On last night’s Late Night, he announced that after nearly 6,000 shows and spending half of his life in makeup, he will give up hosting duties to spend more time with family and less time with interns. You can watch him explain his decision in his own words. And you should. There’s precious little Letterman left.

I’ll really miss, Dave and wish him a happy retirement. But the real story on Late Night is this recent performance by Future Islands. It HAS to be watched.

Heehee. That guy.

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‘How I Met Your Dad’ Casts Some Actors http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/how-i-met-your-dad-casts-some-actors/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/how-i-met-your-dad-casts-some-actors/#comments Tue, 18 Mar 2014 16:21:10 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=260302 Because actors are an important part of TV shows.

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How I Met Your Dad, the revelatory re-imagining of How I Met Your Mother that takes typical gender conventions, turns them upside down, and then says, “Pay us money, advertisers!” has filled a few new roles.

Greta Gerwig plays Sally (that has been announced already), who presumably sluts it up for like seven or eight years before finding Mr. Right. (This is preferable to Ted’s mopey ass staying basically celibate and whining about how he doesn’t have a wife.)

Workaholics‘ Anders Holms will be in teh mix, as will Smash‘s Krysta Rodriguez (whatever) and Masters of Sex Nick D’Agosta.

Ok. I’m fond of Anders, but unfamiliar with these others. Maybe they could get Zach Galifianakis’ brother Seth to do the narration.

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‘CSI’ Spinoff To Amaze Old People With…The Internet http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/csi-spinoff-to-amaze-old-people-with-the-internet/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/csi-spinoff-to-amaze-old-people-with-the-internet/#comments Wed, 19 Feb 2014 16:59:53 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=259487 If you put the word "cyber" in front of anything, it makes old people feel like they're on a spaceship.

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After having dazzled their audiences with tales of crime in New York, Vegas, and Miami, the producers of CSI have decided to visit a fourth place known for being inhabited with terrible sociopaths. The Internet.

The show, which doesn’t have a name yet, but will undoubtedly adopt something ridiculous like Net Force, will focus on “major crimes that start in the mind, live on-line, and play out into the real world.”

Just think about that. Crimes that start in the mind. Goosebumps.

No word on who will be cast yet, but undoubtedly, the producers have been sitting around a table, discussing that, and being forced to remind each other that, LL Cool J is not available, only to have someone asked about that Iced Tea fella.

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CBS To Air Thursday Night Football, Sundays Revert Back To The Lord http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/cbs-to-air-thursday-night-football-sundays-revert-back-to-the-lord/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/cbs-to-air-thursday-night-football-sundays-revert-back-to-the-lord/#comments Wed, 05 Feb 2014 20:07:42 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=259104 Well, Sundays slipped slightly more in favor of the Lord.

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CBS has struck a deal with the NFL Network to air eight Thursday night football games per year, furthering the belief that eventually, only Friday afternoons at 2 PM will there not be live football on TV.

Not much more is known about the announcing or studio teams or the structure of the deal, but it was known that all four networks had expressed interest in the arrangement with the NFL Network. because not only does it serve to get a ton of ad revenues during the game broadcasts, but the NFL gets eyeballs on their other primetime shows, a prospect that many networks are interested in since the rise of acclaimed cable shows.

Somewhere, Hank Williams Jr. howls at the moon, knowing that there are viewers out there, completely not ready for some football, and he knows there is nothing he can do to prepare them.

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CBS Might Spin Off A Female-Led ‘How I Met Your Mother’, Because It Would Probably Work http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/cbs-might-spin-off-a-female-led-how-i-met-your-mother-because-it-would-probably-work/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/cbs-might-spin-off-a-female-led-how-i-met-your-mother-because-it-would-probably-work/#comments Thu, 31 Oct 2013 16:50:03 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=257817 I'll toss out a name: 'How I Met Your Father'. That was fun!

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As How I Met Your Mother winds down in its final season, and as it enjoys a healthy life in syndication, CBS executives are naturally looking for a way to keep the show’s success going beyond the finale.

Naturally, that effort has morphed into a discussed spin-off. I guess it’s a spin-off. It would be more of a reboot with new characters, but those characters might be introduced in the series finale, so they better bust a move on getting this thing going, cause May’s on its way.

The HIMYM folks would this time team up with Up All Night‘s creator Emily Spivey for the female perspective.

Here’s to hoping she can find true love in less than nine seasons, and even if it takes that long, she’s not so whiny about it.

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Vince Gilligan’s Next Project Will Be Much More Familiar http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/vince-gilligans-next-project-will-be-much-more-familiar/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/vince-gilligans-next-project-will-be-much-more-familiar/#comments Thu, 26 Sep 2013 17:01:10 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=257250 He should just kill everyone in the first episode, then have the show just follow a little girl in an orphanage.

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You would think at this point, Vince Gilligan would need a break from Breaking Bad even more than us fans do. The intensity, the hype, the praise…it’s enough to drive a man to take to the Adirondacks and write a conventional buddy cop procedural.

I’m not sure about the Adirondacks part, but the buddy cop procedural is dead on. Gilligan, with showrunner David Shore, has created a series about two different detectives, which will air on CBS sometime next year for 13 episodes.

Undoubtedly, CBS is going to wait as long as possible to air this show, if only so they can attend upfronts and TCA and say things like, “Oh, a Pauly Shore comedy sounds great, ABC. We don’t have room for those types of comedies with our VINCE GILLIGAN SHOW.”

They would then knock the kale salad right out of the ABC exec’s hands and say something like, “C’mon guys, let’s get out of here.”

 

 

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CBS Inverts The ‘Big Bang Theory’ Premise To Appeal To Dumb People http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/cbs-inverts-the-big-bang-theory-premise-to-appeal-to-dumb-people/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/cbs-inverts-the-big-bang-theory-premise-to-appeal-to-dumb-people/#comments Mon, 12 Aug 2013 23:14:30 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=256407 Can pretty people be dumb? We'll find out...THIS FALL ON CBS! Or spring. Sometime soon.

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“You know how Big Bang Theory is about a bunch of homely smart dudes and a not-smart hot girl? Well, what if it was like, opposite?”

- some CBS executive, probably

CBS has announced they’re getting moving on Gorgeous Morons, a show about a bunch of hot stupid people and how their lives are affected by the interlopings of a really smart girl, who might also be attractive. You never know.

The show comes from two writers from The Office, Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky (which are also not names that gorgeous people normally have), so there’s some pedigree there, but it still suffers from the fact that it’s a network comedy, and as such, probably won’t be very good.

But…hot people!!!

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Want A ‘Wizard Of Oz’-Inspired Medical Drama? CBS Will Give You One, You Weirdo. http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/want-a-wizard-of-oz-inspired-medical-drama-cbs-will-give-you-one-you-weirdo/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/want-a-wizard-of-oz-inspired-medical-drama-cbs-will-give-you-one-you-weirdo/#comments Mon, 12 Aug 2013 17:51:31 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=256394 I'm only watching this show if 70% of the cast is little people.

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The team who recently brought us Elementary, the Sherlock Holmes show that is definitely not Sherlock, despite really, really wanting to be, is going back to the literary canon yet again. This time, the show will be called Dorothy, and it will be a medical drama that draws inspiration from the beloved film and book The Wizard of Oz.

Now, that probably means that the characters will be lacking, courage, brains, hearts, etc, but I’m hoping that a more literal approach is taken to the dramatic repurposing, and we get to see things like:

  • Angry flying monkeys invading the ER
  • Witches crushed by houses
  • Twister emergencies every week
  • Junkies posting up in poppy fields

Which experience will we get? It’s anyone’s guess, but probably not the one I’m hoping for.

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‘Hawaii Five-0′ Is Running A Choose Your Own Ending Type Episode. But Can We Choose For All The Characters To Die? http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/hawaii-five-0-is-running-a-choose-your-own-ending-type-episode-but-can-we-choose-for-all-the-characters-to-die/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/hawaii-five-0-is-running-a-choose-your-own-ending-type-episode-but-can-we-choose-for-all-the-characters-to-die/#comments Thu, 03 Jan 2013 22:08:11 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=252670 MORE LIKE 'HAWAII FIVE-NO'.

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I don’t mean any specific harm to the fictional characters of the CBS remade action series, but if you’re going to allow audiences to choose the ending of a TV show, don’t expect them to choose the ending where everyone sits around a coffee table, drinking wine and going, “Wow! That was a close call!”

We want blood, and we want it now.

Of course, they’re not giving the audience THAT much leeway. Some dude gets killed and the audience gets to pick who did it.

I actually just bored myself to sleep writing that sentence, much like old people bore themselves to sleep watching the remade Hawaii Five-0 on CBS.

Circle of life and whatnot.

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CBS Bringing Us A Sitcom About Aging Grunge-Rocker Parents http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/cbs-bringing-us-a-sitcom-about-aging-grunge-rocker-parents/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/cbs-bringing-us-a-sitcom-about-aging-grunge-rocker-parents/#comments Tue, 23 Oct 2012 20:52:31 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=251630 This will really speak to a generation...in the broadest way possible!

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For that desirable demographic for whom Mudhoney was too obscure, and Amy Grant was too mainstream, CBS is developing a sitcom. With the name Smells Like Teen Spirit. Yes, like the Nirvana song! Very good.

It’s created by a Big Bang Theory writer so you know this new show will treat its subject matter with the same quiet respect that Big Bang Theory treats academia and the sciences. FLANNEL! SOUNDGARDEN! SEATTLE!

Sorry. That just came out of me. Embarrassing.

The show will focus on two aging parents whose son foregoes Harvard to start a tech company out of their garage. HE DOESN’T MIRROR THEIR SLACKER IDEALS!

Shit. That’s twice now. My fault entirely.

I’m going to cut this short before another outburst takes place, but let me end by saying that this series does actually have potential if and only if…CHRIS CORNELL! MOSH PIT! POSEUR!

I’m sorry. I have to go.

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Jim Gaffigan To Provide His Own G-Rated ‘Louie’ To CBS http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/jim-gaffigan-to-provide-his-own-g-rated-louie-to-cbs/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/jim-gaffigan-to-provide-his-own-g-rated-louie-to-cbs/#comments Mon, 17 Sep 2012 20:06:46 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=250966 It's too bad 'According to Jim' is taken.

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Following the success of most everything that Louis C.K. does, CBS has found a way to take his Louie concept and allow for it to be aired on network TV: Take away the profane star and replace him with the family-friendly, but still-hilarious Jim Gaffigan.

Gaffigan has gotten a pilot deal to do a single camera sitcom with CBS based on a fictionalized version of his life. And he’s getting some help from Rescue Me creator Peter Tolan. Gaffigan seems to be one of the few personalities that can actually liven up a family sitcom while still keeping it in the bounds of good taste.

Not to put the cart before the horse, but this sounds like the rare network sitcom announcement that we can be a little optimistic about. Nice work CBS. Nice work Jim Gaffigan.

Nice work EVERYONE.

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Vince Vaughn Is Producing A ‘Brady Bunch’ Reboot For CBS. (I Swear To God, That’s What The News Is Saying.) http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/vince-vaughn-is-producing-a-brady-bunch-reboot-for-cbs-i-swear-to-god-thats-what-the-news-is-saying/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/vince-vaughn-is-producing-a-brady-bunch-reboot-for-cbs-i-swear-to-god-thats-what-the-news-is-saying/#comments Wed, 01 Aug 2012 20:34:41 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=250095 It will be just like the old one, only way less original!

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Vince Vaughn knows what America wants. He knew before even we did that we wanted things like Couples Retreat, Fred Claus, and The Watch. Now, he plans on harnessing that prescience and using it to give us a new, modern version of The Brady Bunch! On CBS!

Because it’s important that he sticks to the proper Brady mythology, lest everyone be totally confused and angry that this Brady Bunch reboot is not faithful to the Brady Bunch origins stories that we as a nation hold so dear, the series will focus on a divorced Bobby Brady, who marries a woman with children of her own. Just like his father did so many years before.

Not much else is known at this time, other than the fact that Vince Vaughn will be sitting as executive producer. Also, it is known that this is a terrible idea and Vince Vaughn is a terrible person for doing this.

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Dan Harmon Chasing Deals At Fox And CBS After ‘Community’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/dan-harmon-chasing-deals-at-fox-and-cbs-after-community/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/dan-harmon-chasing-deals-at-fox-and-cbs-after-community/#comments Wed, 01 Aug 2012 18:27:20 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=250087 But will his work be fawned over by the Internet? Answer: YES.

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Adhering to the adage “dress for the job you want” by parading around looking like a manic, slovenly comedy writer, Dan Harmon has apparently been able to find some new work after upsetting Chevy Chase, suggesting that perhaps Chase doesn’t carry the same weight around Hollywood that he did during his Fletch and Spies Like Us days.

In addition to an in-the-works deal to run a multi-camera comedy for Fox, Harmon is now looking at a blind script deal for CBS as well. “Blind script deals” I’ve been told are not hilariously-positioned sitcoms about men with bad vision getting into wacky misunderstandings, but rather a sacred bond between studio and showrunner that tacitly say, “I TRUST you, fat bearded, unhappy showrunner. I TRUST you.”

I hope he does a super-meta show about community college students. Just to be a dick.

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Stephen Hawking Cameos On Big Bang Theory http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/stephen-hawking-cameos-on-big-bang-theory/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/stephen-hawking-cameos-on-big-bang-theory/#comments Mon, 12 Mar 2012 23:28:51 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=247304 Stephen Hawking is the new Zach Galifianakis.

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For a guy that’s been living in the throes of ALS (Lou Gehrig’s Disease) since the 1960′s, scientist Stephen Hawking certainly does get around in the world of entertainment, having made appearances on The Simpsons (four times), Futurama, Late Night with Conan O’Brien, and countless documentaries.

Even with that resume, his nerd appeal is likely to grow even further as he preps fro an appearance on CBSThe Big Bang Theory, a show that tries a little too hard to be smart to be funny and a little too funny to be smart.

The 70 year-old will be showing off a new speaking device that has replaced his now-trademark robotic voice that he used to communicate.

BOOOOOOO!!!!! Bring back the robot voice! WE WANT THE ROBOT VOICE!

I might actually tune in (read: stream a scene on YouTube) to hear what he sounds like now. My hopes are on a Christopher Walken/Harvey Fierstein hybrid.

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A Shitty Torch Is Passed: ‘Big Bang Theory’ Outperforms ‘Idol’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/a-shitty-torch-is-passed-big-bang-theory-outperforms-idol/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/a-shitty-torch-is-passed-big-bang-theory-outperforms-idol/#comments Fri, 20 Jan 2012 21:00:58 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=243128 If anyone wants to come to my "'Big Bang Theory' is better than 'Idol'" party this weekend, it will be held Sunday at a Golden Corral somewhere in Arkansas.

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American Idol is down sharply on it’s second airing of the new season, leading many to believe that perhaps people are getting tired of no-name people singing other people’s songs. Don’t get too excited – Idol is still the most-watched show in America, but CBSBig Bang Theory was slightly ahead of the juggernaut in terms of that coveted 18-49 demographic, making the CBS nerd comedy the arbitrary winner. Well, as much as there can be a “winner” when Big Bang Theory and American Idol are vying to be the most-watched television program in America.

This woud appear to mean a changing of the Thursday night guard, which maybe you haven’t cared about since Seinfeld, but I can assure that TV execs care about very, very much. And we want TV execs to be happy, don’t we? Sure we do. We want EVERYONE to be happy.

One year ago, Idol crushed BBT in the ratings 7.0 to 4.2. It seems that the tables have turned, with Idol down 28%, ensuring that BBT is the most popular show in the demographic, and through the transitive property, the best show on TV.

Breaking Bad? Homeland? Nope. Big Bang Theory is better, and Idol is now only second-best. Look at the ratings, pal.

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The 11 Most Mismatched Couples In Sitcom History http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-lists/the-11-most-mismatched-couples-in-sitcom-history/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-lists/the-11-most-mismatched-couples-in-sitcom-history/#comments Thu, 12 Jan 2012 14:06:05 +0000 Archibald Bayou III http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=241792 How did ¡Rob! manage to score that?

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Tonight marks the premiere of the new CBS sitcom ¡Rob!, starring Rob Schneider as a white man who has married into a Mexican-American family, and must now deal with a series of hi-larious cultural differences. While this premise is perfectly believable, the notion that a woman as smoking hot as Claudia Bassols would marry a shlub like Rob Schneider is much harder to swallow. You can’t blame Schneider for abiding by tradition, however, and it is a long held T.V. sitcom tradition that a beautiful wife must be married to a man no less then 5 points below her on the hotness scale. But in all fairness, some of these mismatched couples were the centerpiece of sitcom classics, so perhaps ¡Rob! will be just as terrific! Well, no… probably not.

Check out the ¡Rob! Bingo card.

The King of Queens

The best and most recent example of this phenomenon occurred on the hit CBS series The King of Queens. The notion that gigantic delivery man Doug Heffernan could score cute, busty Carrie was pushing fiction to the extreme. However, Doug was funny and charming, and as the writers at Screen Junkies all know, cute women prize a sense of humor over good looks any day of the week. Of course, Doug also put up with Carrie’s insane father Arthur, so that scored him some points.

Friends

It’s become fashionable over the years to bash Friends as overrated. The truth, however, is that the middle years of the show hold up quite well, both in writing and acting. But not even ten Oscar winners could convince me that Rachel Green was so hung up on giant dork Ross Gellar. Even if you do buy into the notion of one of the hottest women in America getting knocked up by a palaeontologist, I submit exhibit B: Monica and Chandler. This show was bordering on Sci-Fi.

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’2 Broke Girls’ Creator Michael Patrick King Is Gay, So He Can Mock Whoever He Wants http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/2-broke-girls-creator-michael-patrick-king-is-gay-so-he-can-mock-whoever-he-wants/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/2-broke-girls-creator-michael-patrick-king-is-gay-so-he-can-mock-whoever-he-wants/#comments Wed, 11 Jan 2012 23:12:17 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=242218 It seems he's proud of his work.

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Note to self: If ever interviewing 2 Broke Girls creator Michael Patrick King, don’t railroad him with questions like, “Why do you suck so bad?” He doesn’t respond well to that.

Vulture has the lowdown on today’s TCA panel with King where things took a turn. As the creator of this season’s hottest new show, King was excited to meet with the press and soak up their accolades. Unfortunately for him, today is not Opposite Day.

During his roughly 30-minute session with scribes, King was barraged with a slew of questions focusing on the show’s use of caricatures and suggestive language.

But when HitFix’s Alan Sepinwall tried to explain to King that there were some in the room, including him, who felt the great parts of 2 Broke (the relationship between Kat Dennings and Beth Behrs) were being weakened by the not-so-great parts (the Sexist Chef), King simply turned his back to Sepinwall (and a handful of other reporters) and walked away.

The questioning again shifted to the ethnic stereotypes on the show, and eventually, King exploded. “I’m gay!” he said, adding that he found “it comedic to take everyone down.”

How embarrassed those bulldog reporters must have felt when they learned that the well-dressed director of Sex and the City is gay. He should have been more upfront about his license to sass.

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¡A Preview Clip For ‘¡Rob!’! ¡Terrific News! http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/%c2%a1a-preview-clip-for-%c2%a1rob-%c2%a1terrific-news/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/%c2%a1a-preview-clip-for-%c2%a1rob-%c2%a1terrific-news/#comments Thu, 08 Dec 2011 18:37:54 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=239193 Over/under on first "Macarena" reference? Episode 6 is my guess.

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After viewing this preview for the upcoming CBS sitcom ¡Rob!, I have come to the conclusion that a bad project can be made 74% better with the presence of Rob Schneider. Not “Grown Ups bad,” mind you, as that project was beyond help, but Deuce Bigalow, The Hot Chick, and now, ¡Rob!, a show based on Rob Schnieder’s actual life adapting to and living with his Mexican wife’s family.

Ole. Excuse me…¡Ole! 

Beyond the somewhat novel (but not really) premise, we’ve got disapproving in-laws, PG-rated sex gags, and an exploded piñata of wacky misunderstandings. It’s your basic CBS sitcom, but with Rob Schneider, which, as we established, makes it 74% better.

But will that make it good enough to watch?

Posiblemente.

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Rob Schneider To Address Exclamation Point-Inversion Epidemic With ‘¡Rob!’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/rob-schneider-to-address-exclamation-point-inversion-epidemic-with-%c2%a1rob/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/rob-schneider-to-address-exclamation-point-inversion-epidemic-with-%c2%a1rob/#comments Thu, 17 Nov 2011 00:16:31 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=236644 Let this be the news that signified Rob Schneider's career had superseded Adam Sandler's, never to be overtaken again.

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Sure, Rob Schneider had perhaps left our hearts and minds for a brief period of time, but he was never too far. Rather than indulging us with fantasies of male prostitutes or animals that are actually people, he spent his time out of mind preparing for us, ¡Rob!, a program based on his real-life experience marrying into a tightly knit Latino family.

I’m not saying the Latino angle isn’t good, but couldn’t you really make a decent sit-com out of Rob Schneider marrying into ANY type of family? Except black. America’s probably not ready for that yet.

The series has been announced for a while, so the big takeaway from this news piece is that it’s called ¡Rob! and that CBS execs still haven’t changed their mind about this show being a good idea since announcing it.

Joking aside, it’s nice to have Rob Schneider back in my life. I tried to fill the void with deep cuts from the Viggo Mortensen catalog, but that was cold comfort. This sounds like a good vehicle for him, and if anyone can bridge the rift between American citizens and Mexican immigrants, it’s Rob Schneider.

That said, if CBS doesn’t change the title of the show so that I don’t have to google how to type a “¡” every time I need to reference it, I’m never writing about it again.

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’60 Minutes’ Give Big Ups To Andy Rooney http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/60-minutes-give-big-ups-to-andy-rooney/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/60-minutes-give-big-ups-to-andy-rooney/#comments Mon, 07 Nov 2011 14:58:52 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=235338 Morley Safer pours a sip.

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CBS‘s 60 Minutes paid tribute to their fallen brother Andy Rooney last night in the most fitting way possible. By jamming a quickly slapped together video between toothpaste ads and car commercials at the tail of the show.

America‘s favorite grouch-in-chief” passed away this weekend after complications from a minor surgery. Why do they call it a “minor” surgery if it involves complications? You would think that a minor procedure would be worry free, not something that leads to death. Or perhaps it’s called that because the surgery is performed by a minor. Doubtful. Young people today are too busy dragging their baggy clothes down the street, rather than take the time to learn the medical trade and the human body. I bet that you couldn’t find a teenager that could point to their own Iliac’s Crest. Back in my day, all the doctors had gone off to war, so we had to depend on teenagers for our medical well-being. At least then we could trust that they would wash their hands first. Do you know what I hate? Soap in a pump bottle. The stem that is supposed to carry the soap to your dirty hand doesn’t reach to the bottom of the bottle. That deprives the consumer of hard-earned soap. I’ll take a palm full of soap chips over that any day of the week. The days of the week make me angry. Wednesday is commonly referred to as “Hump Day,” which means it is the most difficult day in the week. Once you get passed it, everything else is better by comparison. But what if your work week ends on a Wednesday? Then your final day is the most difficult and stressful. And what if your only day off happens to fall on a Wednesday. Or the holidays? Christmas with family can be stressful enough. I just don’t know. Sounds complicated.

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Charlie Sheen Is ‘Very Disappointed’ With The New ‘Two And A Half Men’, Chuck Lorre Weeps http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/charlie-sheen-is-very-disappointed-with-the-new-two-and-a-half-men-chuck-lorre-weeps/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/charlie-sheen-is-very-disappointed-with-the-new-two-and-a-half-men-chuck-lorre-weeps/#comments Fri, 21 Oct 2011 18:50:25 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=233331 Jon Cryer is doing everything he can, but it just doesn't seem to be enough.

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He’s back, ladies and gentlemen. While it seemed like he was handling the newest incarnation of Two and a Half Men gracefully, we all knew that wouldn’t last. In an exclusive interview with some photographer on the street yesterday, Charlie Sheen conveyed that he was “extremely disappointed” with the way that the show was “handling what (he) left behind.” Presumably “what he left behind was a trail of vitriol and gibberish, but the important thing is that the show just isn’t being respectful of that.

Following the comments to the photographer, Charlie Sheen crossed his arms over his chest, tucked into a blur spin, then flew off the planet.

It’s hard to know what Sheen is most critical about without watching the program, which is something that I’m just not going to do. Maybe it was Ashton Kutcher‘s floppy hair. That sure bugs me a lot, and sometimes I find it disrespectful to my legacy.

This statement is indicative of just another wild 180 that we have grown to love from the crack-smoking, hooker-banging former star of the show. Following the season premiere of Two and a Half Men starring Ashton Kutcher in his stead, Sheen claimed that he “loved,” the show, but seems to have changed his mind. What changed since the first episode? If you know, please post in the comments, but know that you will be outed as a Two and a Half Men-watcher.

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Hilarious Comedian Fred Durst Gets Sitcom On CBS http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/hilarious-comedian-fred-durst-gets-sitcom-on-cbs/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/hilarious-comedian-fred-durst-gets-sitcom-on-cbs/#comments Fri, 14 Oct 2011 13:58:28 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=232455 Perhaps there is a wacky neighbor role for Korn's Jonathan Davis.

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Soon it will be okay to laugh at Fred Durst. It will be difficult, but it will be okay. The Limp Bizkit frontman turned film director has signed a deal with CBS to develop his own half-hour sitcom. Tentatively titled Douchebag, the show will star Durst as a rock legend trying to balance his star status with raising a family. Perhaps there is a wacky neighbor role for Korn’s Jonathan Davis.

Elsewhere in Los Angeles, Marc Maron has just hung himself.

The idea was spearheaded by Durst’s manager John Schneider, who also put a similar deal in place starring his brother Rob. Should this article be read by any future survivors of the robot apocalypse, you know who your target in the past is. His name is John Schneider. This is who your cyborg assassins should focus on eliminating. It’s mankind’s only hope. (Deadline)

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