After he beat her savagely on the side of the road, you would think that Rihanna couldn’t cut him out of her life fast enough, but there’s no accounting for sentiment, as often the lovelorn wait too long to cut the cord, often causing dire results. Here are just a few such examples in the world of film and television.

Ginger – Casino

Over the course of her relationship with Sam Rothstein, she slept with his best friend, stole towels from his hotel, tied up his child, cheated on him with her pimp ex-boyfriend, then tried to swindle him out of as much money as she could. Frankly, doing one of these things is too much to forgive, especially the towel theft.

She’s hot and infectious, so I can understand why Sam kept coming back to her, exercising infinite patience, but that doesn’t mean it was the right thing to do. He should have kicked her ass to the curb, if not killed her.

Ike – What’s Love Got To Do With It?

Ike may not be fictional, but he is a character in a movie, and he’s plenty abusive, so I have no qualms putting him on this list. He got second chances in spades from wife Tina, with his “I can change, baby” attitude lampooned (hysterically) by Tim Meadows on Saturday Night Live.

Ike was so sinister and shitty that in a 1985 interview, when he was asked about his alleged abuse of ex-wife Tina, he said “Yeah I hit her, but I didn’t hit her more than the average guy beats his wife.” He then went on to restate his position a little differently, in a fashion that would be funnier if it didn’t involve domestic abuse – “Sure, I’ve slapped Tina… There have been times when I punched her to the ground without thinking. But I have never beat her.”

I’m going to the dictionary to make sure I know what “beat” means.

Below are some fine films (except for maybe Saving Silverman) that demonstrate how the fairer sex can sometimes be totally unfair.

8. Ginger McKenna (Sharon Stone) – Casino

She’s a succubus, pure and simple. Imagine your dream girl. She could very well look like Sharon Stone. Then give her a crippling coke and pill habit. Then see to it that she bangs out your best friend, who happens to be Joe Pesci (Hey! You’re friends with Joe Pesci!) and also regularly grinds on her ex, a pimp named Lester.

I’m not done yet.

Then she ties your child to the bed so she can go out drinking. Then she tries to hightail it with James Woods (Lester) with all your money.

Is she still your dream girl? No. She’s your nightmare girl. A few months later you find out that she collapsed in a motel room hallway and died.

You’re smiling right now, aren’t you?

7. Debbie (Leslie Mann) – Knocked Up

No brainer. The character Mann played was the very definition of shrill. Not only was she bitchy to her husband, Paul Rudd’s character, but to Ben, Seth Rogen’s character, and even the doorman at the nightclub, played by Craig Robinson. Who can be mean to Craig Robinson? That’s insane. Her character was so abrasive that it caused Katherine Heigl to speak out against director Judd Apatow for vilifying women.

The final straw comes when she attempts to kick the schlubby Rogen out of the delivery room, only to have him blow up at her and kick her out. When he does this, she finally gains respect for him, which is endearing, but also means that she knows how awful she actually is, making her more awful.

Paul Rudd could do a lot better.

6. Patty (Sarah Silverman) – School of Rock

She essentially exists as the impetus for Jack Black to start schooling the kids in rock, so it’s natural that she would be written as a stone-cold B to her boyfriend. Sure, Silverman plays the sweet crass thing well, but when she turns it on, she can be a snippy as she is funny. This is what happens when sweet girls use their powers for evil instead of good.

5. Jenny (Robin Wright) – Forrest Gump

Well, he was there for her when her she was being abused in her house, he saved her from near-suicide in the disco era, and he cared for her while she was dying of AIDS. What did she do for him? She slept with him then popped in and out of his life as she saw fit, taking his help, then running away to go bang whatever stereotype of the era was around (hippie, clubrat, whatever).

Forrest may not be a smart man, but he does know what love is. Which is more than we can say for Jenny. Even when she shows up with Haley Joel Osment, it’s too little, too late. My baby mama’s have the decency to tell me that I’m the father while they’re still carrying. It’s common courtesy, and we’re losing it in this age of The Twitter and Friendster.

4. Melissa (Rachel Harris) – The Hangover

Sure, she’s a character crafted to be over-the-top ridiculous so we don’t feel bad when Ed Helm’s Stu strays from his vows and bangs out Heather Graham’s stripper, but you know what? It works?

Her disdain for everything that’s not about her is palpable. Just thinking of it makes me want to roger Heather Graham right now.

3. Judith (Amanda Peet) – Saving Silverman

The title of this goes beyond the millennial convention of simply slapping a title of (blank)ing (blank) onto a film and watching the money roll in. Silverman’s best friends, played by Steve Zahn and Jack Black really are trying to save him. So I guess technically, it could be said that Jack Black is a savior. It needn’t be, but it could.

Peet’s character is pretty much awful from the moment we see her, but Jason Bigg’s protagonist is willing to look past all that cause she’s pretty hot. That’s something we can all forgive. The fact that she keeps thwarting the bumbling, well-intentioned friends just fans our fury. Steve Zahn doesn’t deserve to be treated that way.

2. (Cookie) Catherine O’Hara – Best in Show

While most entrants on this list are unspeakably cruel at worst and painfully grating at best, Catherine O’Hara’s Cookie Fleck is just unspeakably misguided. Well, that and it sounds like she used to be a ginormous slut with most everyone in the incestuous world of international dog shows. Who knew that they were having so much sex?

However, it’s easy enough to hide a promiscuous past, but Cookie seems to throw it in the face of her husband, played by a patient, but at-the-end-of-his-rope Eugene Levy. He dismisses the allegations playfully, claiming that she has had “dozens of boyfriends,” but she quickly interrupts him to chime in, “Hundreds.”

1. Linda (Angela Featherstone) – The Wedding Singer

Well, she no-shows on their wedding day. That’s sort of a red flag about character right there. Then she shows back up into Robbie’s life as though nothing ever happened, spouting empty apologies. That’s strike two.

When she first bails, she says she could never be with a guy “living in (his) sister’s basement with five kids while (he’s) off every weekend doing wedding gigs at a whoppin’ sixty bucks a pop?” Adam Sandler was completely right. That could have been brought to his attention yesterday. Before the wedding.

The premise is simple: a man, played by Ryan Reynolds, wakes up six-feet underground with nothing but a lighter, a knife, a cell phone, and no recollection of how he got there. In fact, the premise is so simple that it doesn’t seem like it could carry a feature film. But based on the positive reviews thus far, the filmmakers found a way to make a compelling movie about a man in a box.

In honor of this achievement, we’ve put together a list of nine classic “buried alive” movies. Enjoy, or so help me God, I will put you in the ground while you’re still breathing.

Jeff Harriman – The Vanishing (1993)

Spoiler Alert. This movie sucks. End Spoiler Alert

I guess if you really don’t want to know what happens, you should stop reading now. But considering you already know the title of the article, the ending is already ruined.

At the end of the European version of this film, the hero wakes up in a coffin. At the end on the American remake, the hero wakes up in a coffin, but his girl friend rescues him. In both cases, people get buried alive, which is why this film made the list. The clip above is the American trailer (click here for the European version).

Fergie – Witness (1985)

If you’re playing a deadly game of cat and mouse, it’s helpful to have modern technology at your disposal. Unfortunately for Harrison Ford’s character in Witness, he’s staying with an Amish family. But Ford makes the best of a bad situation by tricking his pursuer into entering a silo and burying him alive in an avalanche of corn. All’s well that ends well. See it happen at the five minute mark…

Julian Marty – Blood Simple (1984)

In Blood Simple, Ray finds the body of Julian, the husband of the woman he is sleeping with. Thinking she is to blame for the shooting, he cleans up the scene in order to protect her. But when he goes to dispose of the body, he discovers that although Julian is badly wounded, he is still alive. Sometimes when you have a plan, it’s best to see it through, so Ray buries him anyway. Watch it above at the five minute mark…

Indiana Jones – Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

In Raiders of the Lost Ark Indiana Jones discovers that the Nazi’s are digging for the Ark in the wrong place. With the help of his friend Sallah, Indy tracks down the correct location. While Indy is retrieving the Ark, the Nazi’s realize what has happened and take the treasure for themselves. Rather than reward Indy for finding the long-lost artifact, they decide to seal him in the tomb along with his girlfriend Marion, making them a permanent addition to the archaeological find. Who knows, in a thousand years, even they may be worth something?

Ann Marie Deacon – Dirty Harry (1971)

If you’re going to kidnap a girl and bury her alive, the last thing you want to do is tell Inspector Harry Callahan about it. I guess the Scorpio killer didn’t get the memo. When he kidnaps a girl and demands ransom before her air runs out, Callahan is the one delivering the money. Rather than just take the money and let the girl live, Scorpio is foolish enough to hit Harry and unveil his intentions to let her die. That turned out to be a pretty stupid move, since Scorpio soon finds himself with a bullet in his leg and Harry’s shoe on the wound. Sure, the girl didn’t make it, but that didn’t stop Harry from dispensing some justice.

You don’t really see much of the girl being buried alive, but click here to enjoy this clip of Harry using some advanced interrogation techniques on the perp.

Carl Bugenhagen – Damien: Omen II (1978)

In The Omen II, an archaeologist who knows the truth about young Damien asks his friend to deliver a box to the child’s current guardian. Insid the box is the secret of killing the boy-Antichrist. The friend is unconvinced, so the archaeologist takes him to a set of ancient ruins (Yigael’s wall) with a depiction of Damien’s face. By now the friend  believes, but it’s too little, too late. Apparently old Beelzebub caught wind of what was going on, and decided to cave in the tunnel, burying them alive. Oh well.

Harry Wentworth – Creepshow (1982)

When you think of Leslie Nielsen, the words “double murder” probably don’t come to mind. After all, Police Squad’s Lt. Frank Drebin had his faults, but he wasn’t a killer (Nordberg was, but that’s another story). That’s why it’s so bizarre to see him in Creepshow. During the “Tide You Over” segment, Leslie finds out that Ted Danson (a.k.a. Sam Malone) is banging his woman. Rather than just shoot them both in the face like a normal human being, Leslie buries them both up to their necks in sand, and lets the tide do them in. To add insult to injury, he rigs up video cameras so Ted can watch the woman die first while he waits for his turn, putting a modern twist on an old favorite.

The Bride – Kill Bill Vol. 2 (2004)

When The Bride is buried alive in Kill Bill Vol. 2, she takes an interesting approach to making her escape: she punches her way out. Using martial arts techniques acquired from her master Pai Mei, The Bride repeatedly strikes the top of the coffin until it cracks. She then claws her way back to the surface. I’m not exactly sure why a ton of dirt didn’t pour in and crush her to death. Yeah, it’s kind of stupid, but later on in the movie she rips someone’s eye out, so I don’t care. Take the good with the bad.

Nicky Santoro – Casino (1995)

Obviously, the act of burying someone alive is cruel, but this scene from Casino is particularly brutal. It’s one thing to put a guy in a box and bury him. It’s quite another to pummel him with baseball bats and then cover him up with dirt while he desperately gasps for air. Granted, Nicky and his brother both had it coming, but at least have the courtesy to finish them off.

Douche lovers around the world have been salivating since December when rumors of an "Entourage" movie began to surface. Now, producer Mark Wahlberg has laid out some specifics, saying that the show will most likely last two more seasons before it’s made into a feature film. He also dropped hints about possible plans for a wildly original plot.

"In the trailer, you see [Ari Gold and his associate, Lloyd] waking up together in Vegas no knowing what happened," Wahlberg imagined. "It would be pretty cool!"

Jesus Christ? As long as we’re blatantly ripping off Vegas movies, why not go the Casino route and have Vince and the gang beaten to death in a secluded cornfield? That would be even funnier than the time Drama banged the furry (LOL!), mainly because they’d all be bleeding and gasping for air (LMAO)! (First Showing)