With all the build-up of the Adult Swim marketing machine, fans of both Cartoon Network and the countless stars attached to the project were expecting…something.

And something is exactly what they got. If by “something,” you meant a “shot-for-shot remake of the Simon & Simon opening credits but with Jon Hamm and Adam Scott in the lead roles.”

Just watch, ok?

“The messages of Captain Planet are even more relevant today,” said Snyder [TBS COO]. “We feel this team can bring the world’s first eco-hero to life in a powerful motion picture that is not only pertinent but entertaining.”

“We are extremely excited about bringing the good Captain back to life,” said Murphy. “His adventures are known worldwide and he is recognized across generations. We expect to make a spectacular series of films with the amazing team at Cartoon Network.”

“With the earthquakes, tornadoes, melting icebergs and all the other problems threatening the world right now, Earth really needs her greatest defender,” said Montford.

Wow. What a total “fuck you” to Al Gore. (Coming Soon)

14 photosWarner Bros. Releases Too Many 'Hangover Part II' Stills

“Daffy’s Rhapsody” is officially in season November 18, 2011, in front of Happy Feet 2. Check out the preview image below and click to embiggen. (TheWrap)

“‘The Heart, She Holler’ – a new live-action soap opera about folk who ain’t never used soap or seen an opera.  It’s a satire on the emotional Hee-Hawification of America, set in a town so inbred, the folks have become almost supernaturally wrong. The series is produced by PFFR, and stars Patton Oswalt and Heather Lawless.”

‘China, IL’ – Frank and Steve Smith ar brothers who teach in the history department of a state university in China, Illinois. They also happen to be legends in their own minds who will often sacrifice facts, lessons and syllabi for the sake of being awesome.

‘Tight Bros’ – a new animated comedy that follows two moronic “clergybros” who are on a quest for fat beats, hot chicks and tricked out cell phones.  Vince and Aaron were called by God to spread a holy message: one of peace, love and tearin’ up the club.  By day the two sell religious kitsch at a kiosk in Viceroy Del Sol mall.  By night they hunt for babes, but only with mega tans and super smooth waxes in place.

The really interesting announcements though are the pilots that have been placed in development. There’s the previously announced pilot from Bob Odenkirk entitled “Regal Productions,” plus untitled projects from “Community” creator Dan Harmon and hip-hop collective Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All. Also “The Dummiez” from Nick Cannon, an untitled Major Lazer project, and “Rolling With Dad,” an animated sitcom from Seth Grahame-Smith and David Katzenberg. It’s going to be a great year for lovers of adult-oriented TV!

The Cartoon Network late night programming block has picked up an animated version of Black Dynamite to series. Based on the awesome 2009 Blaxploitation parody, the cartoon follows the adventures of a former-CIA agent as he strives to avenge his dead brother and wipe out crime in the process.

The series is being run by Carl Jones, who last brought “The Boondocks” to the network. Which means, the only way the Black Eyed Peas will be involved with this series, is when they get a much-needed beatdown. (Deadline)

Adult Swim’s nerd-a-rific cartoon, “The Ventur Brothers,” has been picked up for two more seasons. That’s great news for fans of OSI man, Brock Samson. For years, dorks have been cheering the exploits of the mullet wearing monster, and it looks as if they’ll continue doing so for years to come. In honor of the renewal of Jackson Publick’s groundbreaking show, we’ve put together these nine bad ass Brock Samson moments.

Melee Weapon

Any secret agent worth his salt knows that improvisation can mean the difference between life and death. Weapons are no exception. As Brock demonstrates in the clip above, sometimes, you have to use every tool at your disposal.

Brock Sings Technotronic

Brock might be a remorseless killing machine. But deep down, he has a heart of gold. Nowhere is this more apparent than when he sings Technotronic songs to a mortally wounded enemy…or should I say an enemy who thinks he’s mortally wounded.

Testicular Cancer

When interrogating a suspect, any lug can try to beat information out of a captive. But a savvy spy knows that sometimes it’s better to get inside his head. Being a professional, Brock easily switches from physical to psychological methods of persuasion.

Molotov Cocktease

No woman can tame Brock Samson, but one woman came close: Molotov Cocktease. Anyone who can win her heart must have balls of steel. The two have a long and sordid history, a fact that is only complicated by her Soviet-era chastity belt.

Bear Killer

This clip doesn’t need much of a setup. Brock Samson kills a polar bear with a knife. It’s extremely simple, and incredibly bad ass.

Shark Decapitation

Sure, cutting someone’s head off is bad ass. So what does that make cutting someone’s head off with a dead shark? Keep in mind, Brock also killed the shark. That’s some hardcore shit right there.

Yeah, I know it’s only a cartoon. Piss off.

Mummy Dearest

While pissing on a mummy after you’ve already killed it might seem like a bad ass, yet pointless, gesture, Brock has his reasons. After all, when it comes to killing mummy’s, this isn’t his first rodeo.

Top Chef

It’s well established that Brock is one bad mother. As such, the fact that he watches “Top Chef” makes total sense. And the fact that he hates “Top Design” is just icing on the cake.

Escape from OSI

Having your heart replaced with a robot head: bad ass!
Jumping out of a moving plane sans parachute: bad ass!
Stealing a jetpack off a guy in mid-air and using it as a surfboard: totally bad ass.

Johnson also said we can expect the sequel to be “bigger” than the original. It will be curious to see exactly how Dreamworks makes a three-dimensional movie about flying dragons “bigger.” Maybe they’re going to get Zach Galifianakis or Betty White to be in it. Or maybe Dreamworks has found a new dimension that we don’t know about and they’ll be filming the sequel in that. He let on that we can expect to see new characters in the sequel, so they won’t be staying ENTIRELY in the established universe, but I wouldn’t expect too much new ground to be broken beyond that.

Johnson also spoke to the HTTYD TV series, which is pegged to arrive on Cartoon Network in 2012. He said that the TV series will keep the tone of the original film, which he said was “darker” and “dramatic.” Expect to see lots of divorced dragons with alcohol problems who never get to see their kids.

^{What? No snarky Goth??}

They may have reneged on "Weird Al" but it looks like The Cartoon Network is still very much in the spoof business. Last night, during an episode of "Children’s Hospital," a preview of the upcoming action series "National Terrorism Strike Force: San Diego: Sports Utility Vehicle." Or "NTSF: SD: SUV" for short(er).

The action series stars Paul Scheer as a Jack Bauer/David Caruso hybrid, and Rob Riggle as a general/terrorist or something. I think what we should all focus on here is the fact that the team employs a rocket launcher-touting chef. Not enough shows have that.

Check out the preview after the jump….

NTSF-SD-SUV – Watch more Funny Videos

Move over Frank Darabont. Looks like there may be another Hawaiian-shirted director in town. We reported previously about "Weird Al" Yankovic’s deal with Cartoon Network to air whatever lunacy he conjured up. Part of that deal was to create a live-action feature length film, but now Cartoon Network has decided against creating long-form live-action content for television. "Weird" is taking it all in stride though, and doing his best to get this project up on the big screen.

As I had previously reported, after years of negotiation, I was able to sign a major production deal with Cartoon Network to provide content for them.  They were primarily interested in live action features, so I pitched them on a movie idea.  They loved it, and gave me the go-ahead to start working on the screenplay.  I worked closely with them for several months, and after submitting my 4th draft, just when I was just about to get the official green light… Cartoon Network let me know that they were no longer in the feature film business.

…it’s not entirely bad news – the script went into turnaround, which means I’m free to sell it somewhere else.  (Come to think of it, that was pretty much the exact thing that happened when I was trying to get UHF made.)  So maybe it’ll get produced at some point, maybe it won’t… all I know is, I’ll have a lot more free time this fall.

Maybe it will, maybe it won’t?! No way, "Weird." This is Hollywood. That apathetic approach won’t get you anywhere in this town. If you want to see your dreams on the silverscreen, you need to strap on your accordian, bust into those boardrooms, and show those overpaid dick krinkles just who the eff they’re dealing with. Don’t leave there until you hear the words "go picture." You’re "Weird Al" Yankovic, and you don’t take no sh*t from nobody. And make sure they validate your parking. (Al’s Blog)

_{I remember why this was so popular!}

Twenty years after its cancellation, "ThunderCats" is poised to return to the small screen. A re-imaged "anime-inspired" version of the classic 80′s cartoon will begin airing on Cartoon Network in 2011. The Cats join a growing list of retro characters headed to the CN lineup, including Batman, Scooby-Doo and The Looney Tunes.

While CN is hopeful that the entire cast will return, the beloved character of Snarf may end up as the lone holdout. The annoying, overweight feline is currently in negotiations to join Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg on "The View," which would all but rule out his participation in the relaunch. (Variety)

Watch two minutes of Snarf repeatedly saying "Snarf" after the Snarf.

_{"Coyote Falls"? I don’t get it?}

After years in hiding, Bugs Bunny and the gang are headed back to the big screen. In a throwback to the golden age of Warner Brothers cartoons, the studio is releasing three 3D shorts that will run in theaters before feature-length films. In addition, Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck are getting their own 26 episode show on Cartoon Network.

This is the first major announcement from the Looney Tunes since they were sexually assaulted by NBA great Michael Jordan on the set of Space Jam 14 years ago Brendan Fraser on the set of Looney Tunes: Back in Action 7 years ago. Since cartoon characters are not protected under the law, Brendan got off on a technicality. But the event was so traumatizing that Bugs and company quit showbiz and hadn’t been heard from since. Luckily, time heals all wounds, even the really stretched out cartoon kind.

The first of the shorts, "Coyote Falls", will appear before the film Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore, which sounds stupid and opens on July 30. The TV series will premiere this fall, and will probably be canceled next spring. That’s all, folks! (Coming Soon)

"Weird Al" Yankovic has signed a production deal with Cartoon Network to broadcast anything he wants on the channel. First up will be a live-action feature film that will NOT star the parodist. According to "Weird", the network asked that the project star a young protagonist. That’s a shame. Where will they ever find a youngster with the charm and good looks of "Weird Al" Yankovic? Besides McLovin, of course. I just hope Wheel of Fish is on the primetime schedule. 

(Al’s Blog via Coming Soon)