While the teaser seemed generally chilling and inventive, there isn’t much on display in this trailer that points to a fresh take. However, this is our first look at Julianne Moore as Carrie’s over-religious mom. She, of course, nails it even if this type of character seems extremely out of place in modern day. I think it’s time to hold judgement but in future previews I’d like to see an example of what sets this update apart from its predecessor besides the hairstyles.

She’s now lashing out at critics of her appearance and behavior by saying, “There’s somebody out there on my whole life that doesn’t like me because they’re jealous, they’re fat and they’re ugly.”

Fat and ugly people are always laying into good moms with sexy tans. That’s the way it’s always been and probably always will be.

Well, misery loves company, so we assembled a short list of several other miserable moms to show to Mrs. Patricia Krentcil of New Jersey that she’s not the only terrible person/mom out there.

Carrie’s Mom – Carrie

Duh. Carrie’s mom isn’t the type of mom that a teenage girl would consider “totally her best friend.” Carrie’s mom, Margaret, goes a little overboard with the Christianity, chastising Carrie for the “curse of blood” when she has her first period in gym class.

I could stop there, but I’m not going to. Margaret refused to let Carrie go to the prom, calling it an “occasion of sin,” which is totally correct, but still. Later, believing that Carrie is possessed by the devil, Carrie’s mom stabs her in the back, which, just like not letting her go to the prom, is totally unfair.

These are all bad qualities in a mom. If I had to rank them in descending order of total unfairness, the list would look like this:

(That’s right. It’s a list-within-a-list. Anything goes!)

4. Locking your daughter in a closet and forcing her to pray. (SO UNFAIR!)
3. Stabbing your daughter. (MOM!)
2. Guilting your daughter for being on the rag. (LAME!)
1. Denying you daughter prom. (GOD!)

Dirk Diggler’s Mom – Boogie Nights

(The actual scene is not embeddable, but this reenactment is pretty damn great, so here you go.)

She thought Dirk becoming a teenage porn star was a bad idea, and pointed out that his high school girlfriend was a bit of a whore. She was completely right about those two things, but she really didn’t have to be so mean about it. She tore down his posters and called him a loser in so many words, causing him to move out of the house and shack up with the likes of Rollergirl, Reed Rothchild, Jack Horner, and Lord knows who else.

Her overbearing personality also seems to have made a shell of a man out of her husband, who just sits around with a thousand-yard stare while Mrs. Diggler (may not be her Christian name) lays into her well-meaning son.

Someone needs to get Cosmo over to her house to toss some firecrackers at her.

Jenny – Forrest Gump

No list of horrible women would be complete without the inclusion of Jenny, who had a kid (the adorable little moppet Haley Joel Osment), guaranteeing her inclusion on her list.

Despite the fact that Forrest is rich, well-meaning, and pretty much the most accomplished human to ever grace the earth, Jenny hides the fact that he’s a dad from him. Why does she do this? Because she’s Jenny and she’s pure evil. That’s why Jenny does everything. She only lets Forrest know because she’s dying of AIDS because she slept with every disco godfather in the late 70’s and 80’s and needs someone to take care of her kid, who she probably doesn’t even care about.

I hate Jenny. And now her kid will, too.

Stifler’s Mom – American Pie

I have no problem with Sifler’s mom exercising her sexuality with younger men. I think it’s terrific. However, banging out one of your son’s friends is tantamount to killing his social life. Never again will Stifler be taken seriously.

Ok, so maybe the Siffmeister wasn’t taken very seriously as a person, but his social clout would have been torpedoed by his mother, and he could never maintain any semblance of high ground in a discussion with his friends. It’s terrible.

All she had to do to be a decent mom was not bang a friend of her high school son. But that’s not what she did.

Joan Crawford – Mommie Dearest

This is a supposedly true account of how Joan Crawford treated her daughter, based on that daughter’s memoirs, published in 1978. Apparently, Joan made her daughter call her Joan’s many lovers “Uncle,” or “Daddy,” which is so messed up I don’t know what to do with myself. She claimed that Joan suffered from alcoholism, and tried to strangle her in a drunken rage.

Then, of course, there’s the infamous wire hanger scene. I’ll let it speak for itself:

Haunting.

Carrie

Brian De Palma is a master of the psychological thriller, so it’s appropriate that he was the first person to bring a Stephen King novel to the screen. And he does it with a flair for genre alchemy, mixing cheesecake, teen comedy, and over-the-top camp in with the horror story about a high school outcast with telekinetic powers. The climactic massacre at the school prom is still one of the most shocking set-pieces ever devised, 36 years later.

The Shining

Stephen King himself wasn’t a fan of the changes Stanley Kubrick made to his novel about a father attacking his family with an axe during a stay at an abandoned (and haunted) hotel. Most movie fans disagree, though, and The Shining has a reputation as one of the best and scariest horror movies ever made.

However, the rumor is that Fox is lobbying to play Carrie in MGM and Screen Gem’s remake of the Stephen King classic. I like looking at Fox as much as the next guy, especially her boobs area, but that casting would be more horrifying than anything they could put on the screen. Never mind that Fox is 25, far from high school. Fox looks like the type of girl who would tease you into an eating disorder – not a bullying victim. Also, two words: Jennifer’s Body.

Another actress who apparently wants the role? Lindsay Lohan. *Knocks Head Against Wall* (ShowBizSpy)

MGM and Screen Gems are teaming up to reboot Carrie, the horror classic based on Stephen King‘s first published novel. Now that MGM is more financially stable, they’ve been rebooting everything and anything, from Robocop to Child’s Play. You can’t walk down the street without overhearing a conversation like, “when are they gonna make another new version of Carrie, after Carrie 2: The Rage was such a hit?” That’s probably why the studios hired comic book writer Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa, who wrote the new, less horrifying version of Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark, to pen the screenplay.

Oh, one more prom safety tip: make sure the outcast you dump pig’s blood on doesn’t have psychic powers. That’ll cause the evening go south real fast. (Hollywood Reporter)