Point that finger at me one more time and you'll pull back a bloody stump.
Hey Sean Penn, Stop Being Like That!
Monday, May 21 by

And let poor Jude Law fight his own battles.

Some of the Best Film Festivals from Around the World
Monday, October 24 by Dan MacIntosh

Film festivals are events for those that are in the business (actors, directors, writers) or the truly serious film goers. These events are where films are premiered, as well as…

He kind of looks like the Nazi from 'Raiders of the Lost Ark'
Lars Von Trier Un-Apologizes For Hitler ‘Joke’
Tuesday, September 20 by

He kind of looks like the Nazi from ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’

Cannes Film Festival Winners: Star Studded Movies with Mainstream Appeal
Tuesday, September 20 by Ed Mulero
Cannes Film Festival 2010
Wednesday, July 27 by Ellen Wilson

The prestigious Cannes Film Festival 2010 was a world renowned event that filmmakers looked to with anticipation. The sixty third annual festival was held from May 12 to May 23, 2010…

Chinese Blockbuster Porn Coming To A Theater Near You
Wednesday, May 25 by

And they said it couldn’t be done without Jackie Chan.

tree of life dino
‘The Tree Of Life’ Wins Palme d’Or At Cannes
Sunday, May 22 by

It pays to not admit you’re a Nazi.

Lars Von Trier Can’t Get Within 500 Feet Of Cannes
Thursday, May 19 by

‘Freedom of expression’ doesn’t include being a Nazi, Lars!

He even sits like a Nazi
Lars Von Trier Apologizes For Being A Nazi
Wednesday, May 18 by

Von Trier does his best Mel Gibson impersonation.

"I have $32 in Schwarzeneggers"
Schwarzenegger Gets $12.5 Million To ‘Cry Macho’ On Camera
Wednesday, May 4 by

I don’t make nearly that much for crying, macho or otherwise.

You Get To See ‘Tree of Life’ At Cannes!
Thursday, March 24 by

Bring all of your friends to Cannes and see some dinosaurs!

Arnold Schwarzenegger Is Back In New International TV Series
Monday, March 21 by

Yes, he is indeed “back.” Get your jokes out now.

Woody Allen’s Next Movie To Open Cannes, Stutter Nervously
Wednesday, February 2 by

BREAKING: Woody Allen has made another movie.

Heir Found for Jacques D’Azur: King of Cannes
Friday, June 18 by

After the excitement, confusion, and downright insanity of the legend that is Jacques D'Azur, an heir has finally been found. Amid extreme secrecy, Stella Artois 4% whisked him away to the Cannes Film Festival in order to represent his surrogate father. After a quick make over, Junior D'Azur (as we're calling him), dove straight into all that Cannes had to offer; enjoying leisurely speedboat rides, extravagant parties, and dinning in the best restaurants, setting the Mediterranean city alight with rumours of a new 'man of mystery'. In the first few days of settling into his newfound 'life of luxury', Junior D'Azur was tailed by a camera crew, and highlights of their time with him were recently released to the public. To prove that an heir exists? To profile a man whom some say could become the next Jacques D'Azur? Or just to make the rest of us jealous? Either way, Stella Artois 4% has given us a glimpse into the glamorous world of the Cannes Film Festival, and shown a man unflinching in his ability to enjoy the finer things in life. Wherever Jacques is (or isn't), we bet he's smiling and raising a toast to Junior D'Azur's future adventures. We'll keep you posted! Check out highlights from Cannes after the jump!

Cannes: The Adventure
Monday, May 17 by

That's me between the Asian and the freak. I had the opportunity to attend the Cannes Film Festival over the past few days, and it was a whirlwind experience full of red carpets, yacht parties, and Jean Claude Van Dammes galore. My brains are still recovering from the extensive travel and time difference, but I feel it’s more authentic and enjoyable if I share my journey in my current semi-conscious condition. When I arrived at the hotel, the Maison de Jacque D’Azur, I was greeted with an ice cold Stella Artois, a welcomed welcome after spending the previous fifteen hours on a metal tube that has no business hovering so long in the sky.  The Maison used to be home to Picasso, who I’m sure is rolling over in his grave now that bloggers are slogging around it, covering the interior with a thick layer of Cheetos dust.  

‘Rambo V’ – Who Needs Stallone
Thursday, May 13 by

Kids today just can't get enough of John Rambo. Check the Internet, and you'll find there are literally millions, if not billions of Rambo related Facebook pages and Twitter accounts. And with Rambo mania (or as I like to call it, "Romania") at an all time high, it's no surprise that a group of investors is trying to drum up money to make the fifth installment of the franchise. In order to raise awareness for their cause, said investors have been putting up Rambo V posters at various locations around Cannes. The only problem is that Sylvester Stallone says he's through with the character. Stallone says the people behind these posters are out there looking for funding, and told him that if he won’t do it, someone else will. He's adamant that he won't do it so that means Rambo V, if they find funding, will happen with someone new playing Rambo. Screw Stallone. Those investors shouldn't let something like the loss of an iconic lead actor keep them from giving the public what it so desperately wants. Get The Rock on the phone. We want more Rambo! (CinemaBlend)

You Want to Send Me to Cannes? Uhhhh…Okay!
Thursday, May 13 by

That's right, boys! Soak it up!So I'm on a plane right now flying to Cannes for the the tiny, little film festival they do annually, and I'm having trouble remembering who I slept with/killed to get this opportunity. Also, my 767 jet must be equipped with magic because I'm posting on the site from 1000s of feet up in the air. Eat your heart out, George Jetson. Your future looks like a silly b*tch now.Come to think of it, no one in their right or wrong mind would request sexual favors from me in exchange for a trip to Cannes. That's right, Stella Artois so kindly sponsored this excursion for me. I plan on living it up on the French Riviera like Jacques D'azur, and attempting to hit on as many women as he has bedded with a simple come hither glance. Don't post this on my girlfriend's Facebook wall. She doesn't read the site.I'll be bringing you all kinds of fun audio and/or visual presentations documenting my escapades at the film festival. I even had to rent a tuxedo. With a bowtie. Why do I have a strange feeling I'll be working this trip off by serving tray passed mini quiches at an after party?I'm not certain yet what screenings I'll be attending or what galas I'll be drunkenly stumbling into, but rest assured you will know when I know. I mainly just plan on donning my tux 24/7 and unsuccessfully trying to convince people I'm Daniel Craig. Not James Bond, mind you. Daniel Craig. Now to secure some piercing blue eyes…My battery is running out because I lack discipline and don't refresh it like Apple suggests you do at least once a month, so I'll say au revoir for now. Keep on checking back for my updates and the use of French words that I pick up at high-stakes poker games and mustache-twisting pow-wows. Kisses, my babies!

Thursday, May 13 by

Stay up to date on my escapades at the Cannes Film Festival.

Win Jacques d’Azure’s Place at Cannes
Friday, April 23 by

A few weeks ago we reported to you that Jacques d'Azur, the King of Cannes, went missing. Mr. d'Azur is now presumed dead, or lost forever on an island inhabited entirely by beautiful women, and the search is on to find his heir. This lucky person will fill in for Jacques at the 2010 Cannes Film Festival — an exclusive VIP trip of a lifetime worth of $10,000. You'll get the very same treatment that Jacques would have. That includes the premieres, the parties, the limos, the helicopter pads, and hobnobbing with A-List celebrities. This swanky trip is sponsored by Stella Artois 4%, so head on over to their site for complete details and to enter. You could be on a jet to the French Riviera before you know it. It's good to be the king. HURRY! CONTEST ENDS SUNDAY!

King of Cannes Jacques d’Azur Missing
Friday, March 26 by

Have You Seen This Dapper Man?Cannes 1962. Jacques d'Azur gives some lucky lady the bedroom eyes.Legend of Cannes and a god among men Jacques d'Azur is missing and your help is desperately needed. The French film producer/director/actor/tennis player/chess master/backgammon champion/waterskiing pioneer and full time bon-vivant known for his work on the red carpets, swimming pools, and silk sheets of the French Riviera hasn't been seen since last week. Needless to say, his extremely wealthy family is distraught.Multi-tasking is Jacques Multi-Tasking d'Azur's middle name.

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