Screen Junkies » cable http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Thu, 07 Aug 2014 17:46:38 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 ‘The Shawshank Redemption’ Isn’t Actually On Cable All The Time. Just 151 hours Per Year. http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/the-shawshank-redemption-isnt-actually-on-cable-all-the-time-just-151-hours-per-year/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/the-shawshank-redemption-isnt-actually-on-cable-all-the-time-just-151-hours-per-year/#comments Tue, 27 May 2014 21:35:24 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=261826 Barely edging out 'The Negotiator', I'm guessing.

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You know how it seems like some movies are on cable just all the time? Like Deep Blue Sea and Big Daddy? Well, it’s long been a pop culture trope that somewhere, at some point, The Shawshank Redemption is playing on cable at any given time.

Turns out that’s not true at all, even when you’re just looking at prime time. A Wall Street Journal piece shed some light on the matter, demonstrating that it only accounted for 150 hours of basic cable airtime in 2013. That’s only like 50 airings.

THAT’S ONLY ONCE A WEEK!

Is it that they’re lying, or people aren’t good at estimating stuff like this and are prone to exaggeration. I’m putting my money on the latter.

So when your thoughts run to a bunch of 1940′s-era prisoners, down on their luck and sexually abusing each other, it’s because your mind wanted to go there, not because Shawshank made you think about it.

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Time Warner And Comcast Merger To Create Cable Company Death Star http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/time-warner-and-comcast-merger-to-create-cable-company-death-star/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/time-warner-and-comcast-merger-to-create-cable-company-death-star/#comments Thu, 13 Feb 2014 17:13:11 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=259341 As long as I keep getting 'Burn Notice' reruns coming my way, I don't care what they do.

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As millions of people are freeing themselves from the shackles and expense of pay cable subscriptions, the two big guys on the block, Comcast with 22 MM subscribers, and TWC with 11 MM, have decided that if they align forces and merge…NOTHING CAN STOP THEM.

Which is sort of true.

Should the FCC and DOJ bless this merger, the supercompany will have the ability to use its leverage to avoid the CBS blackout fiasco that happened last year.

But beyond that, the consumer won’t be terribly affected, as they don’t really have much overlap in their service areas. You didn’t have a choice before, and you still won’t have one now. But a merger would allow the each company to put the other’s most restrictive practices in place, which doesn’t sound like it could, in any way, be a good thing.

The good news is that this is perhaps the last move either company has as they lose ground to Apple TV, Netflix, pirating, or people just staring out the window, looking at birds.

 

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Never Mind Those Streaming Licenses, Netflix To Become A Cable Channel? http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/never-mind-those-streaming-licenses-netflix-to-become-a-cable-channel/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/never-mind-those-streaming-licenses-netflix-to-become-a-cable-channel/#comments Wed, 07 Mar 2012 22:18:36 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=246985 Anything that directs their attention from getting more streaming licenses won't make subscribers happy.

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Netflix CEO Reed Hastings recently spoke to an investor conference, hinting that the company, which is in a period of tumult stemming from upset customers and lost licensing rights, might be looking to become a regular ole’ cable channel in light of the current and upcoming original programming that it has on deck.

Not many more details were given, but this is certainly a curious pursuit for a number of reasons. First off, Netflix doesn’t have enough original programming to fill an afternoon, let alone a 24/7 channel. Further, if they were to fill it with licensed content, similar to their current streaming offerings, they would have to rework all those agreements, as they now don’t grant permission for cable broadcast.

Secondly, if the station was to rework those licenses, or even pursue any aspect of this endeavor, it could further alienate subscribers to Netflix Instant, who are largely using Netflix so they can cut out the high fees of cable subscription.

It shouldn’t happen for a while, as this pursuit is in its infancy, but it clearly demonstrates that the company wants like hell to get away from their original business model of sending DVDs through the mail.

Strange times, Netflix subscribers. Strange times indeed.

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Google Going Head-To-Head With Those Bastards From Time Warner http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/google-going-head-to-head-with-those-bastards-from-time-warner/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/google-going-head-to-head-with-those-bastards-from-time-warner/#comments Thu, 23 Feb 2012 20:00:27 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=246016 First, Kansas City, then, the world.

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With the dearth of TV providers out there (Time Warner, Comcast, DirecTV, and Dish Network), it seems like we’re stuck picking from the lesser of so many evils. We can agree on that.

We can also all agree that Google is pretty great. Which is why it’s my pleasure to inform everyone (that hasn’t read any business magazines over the past month or so) that Google is getting into the TV and ISP business. They’re giving it a go first in Kansas City, then, hopefully, the rest of the US, by laying down their own fiber optic cables that link straight up to their massive server operation in Iowa.

Those servers will act as a gigantic DVR for users, as well as a conduit for streaming live TV and Internet service. Yay!

With the complacency and shitty customer service provided by the current cartel, it’s very nice to hear that a new, non-compromised company will be stepping in to change the game or at least keep the other guys working for our business.

Plus, it’s just a matter of time before Google lets us download cute, furry puppies right into our houses. Double yay!

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Last Night Oprah Begged For Ratings In A Very Un-Orpah-Like Fashion http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/last-night-oprah-begged-for-ratings-in-very-un-orpah-like-fashion/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/last-night-oprah-begged-for-ratings-in-very-un-orpah-like-fashion/#comments Tue, 14 Feb 2012 00:46:55 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=245242 My prayers have been answered.

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If you were checking Oprah‘s Twitter feed during the Grammys, then at around 8:03 last night, you were asked by Ms. Winfrey to turn to her OWN station. Not because they had something good on, but because they REALLY wanted high ratings last night.

February marks sweeps for TV stations, which means that the ratings they garner during February are used to set their ad rates for the next few months. Rather than scheduling some compelling television, Oprah figured she would cut some corners and simply ask her minions to tune in in the most brusk way possible.

Further, she may have violated a contract made with the Nielsen company, who collects the data and creates the ratings for television stations. When stations team up with Nielsen, they pledge to not go out of their way to solicit viewers that have Nielsen boxes, which it appears Oprah very overtly did with this Tweet.

I’m sure very little will come of that breach, but more interesting is the wholesale consumption of her own pride in Oprah’s plea to the people. You’re coming off as a little desperate, Oprah.

Click here to enjoy Deadline’s objective analysis of OWN’s fare in the last line of this article.

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9 On-Demand Channels We’d Like To See Instead Of Ryan Gosling http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/9-on-demand-channels-wed-like-to-see-instead-of-ryan-gosling/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/9-on-demand-channels-wed-like-to-see-instead-of-ryan-gosling/#comments Mon, 06 Feb 2012 21:45:09 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=244520 There's got to be something better on.

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In an effort to capitalize on Valentine’s Day and tingly lady parts everywhere, Time Warner has announced they will provide Ryan Gosling On-Demand for the entire month of February.

“Gee, thanks.” – African Americans.

Gosling’s most romantic movies will be available for viewing for the entire month. Which means any fans looking to curl up with their Valentine or single girls who wanna get some practice in, can have The Notebook, Lars and the Real Girl, Drive, The Ides of March, Crazy Stupid Love, Remember the Titans, Murder By Numbers, and Fracture.

That’s all well and good for people not irritated by goofy, bizarrely overdone fake Brooklyn accents, but what does it leave for the rest of us? Here’s a rundown of the On-Demand channels we want to see in 2012.

Tim & Eric

We need a channel dedicated to the ludicrous insanity of Tim Heidecker & Eric  Wareheim at all times of the day. Sure, their Billion Dollar Movie is available On-Demand right now, but we want every episode. Spaghett. Poop-Tube. Oh my God. Spaghett using the Poop-Tube (in HD). A channel of only Tim & Eric would be much appreciated and more calming than watching fish in aquariums.

Emma Watson

This one probably wouldn’t be considered the most legal of channels, but you can’t argue that it would be wonderful. I’m imagining it done in the style of The Truman Show. We watch Emma Watson go through her daily life. Driving a car, doing dishes, running in slow motion with the wind softly blowing her hair just off her shoulder, noticing a camera lens in her bedroom smoke detector… It could really add some drama during Sweeps Week.

Cars Eating Other Cars

Everyone knows that monsters and dinosaurs don’t actually exist, so hoping to have a full-time channel devoted to them is pretty much a foolish pipe dream. However, we can so totally have a channel devoted to robotic monsters that lift cars in their iron jaws and crunch them to pieces. We have that technology now! Why it isn’t being used to fight terror, is beyond me.

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If You’re Mad About Your Cable Bill, You Can Blame ESPN http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/if-youre-mad-about-your-cable-bill-you-can-blame-espn/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/if-youre-mad-about-your-cable-bill-you-can-blame-espn/#comments Tue, 06 Dec 2011 21:32:04 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=238957 ESPN knows that most men would rather slide comfortably into a cocktail dress than drop it from their cable lineup.

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Bad news for non-sports fans.

According to a recent estimate, $4.69 of your monthly cable bill represents the fee subscribers pay for the rights to ESPN, which is currently the most expensive channel in basic bundles. According to the Wall Street Journal, the cost has risen a staggering 42% since 2006. The station and experts cite the rising expenses in covering sports as the reason, but it could just be because ESPN can do what they want.

While many channels are cannibalizing each other as redundant, and with many consuming their offerings online or on DVD, ESPN has a viewership that requires their programming in real time, making it perhaps the most indispensable channel on the dial.

Those who can do without sports can probably do without ESPN, so as the network‘s fees begin to rise, expect to see people clamor for a tiered service that allows them to forego the station. While this would behoove that subset of cable subscribers, it would put the additional cost burdens on sports fans who want their ESPN, probably to the tune of twice what they’re currently paying.

My solution? Stop liking sports and starting getting into scrapbooking and crafts. It’s estimated that HGTV only costs something like $.26 per month.

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9 Reasons Netflix Is Still A Great Deal http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/9-reasons-netflix-is-still-a-great-deal/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/9-reasons-netflix-is-still-a-great-deal/#comments Wed, 21 Sep 2011 20:01:27 +0000 Nicholas Pell http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=229462 It's still the best deal in town.

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Much teeth-gnashing and crying in the darkness followed Netflix announcement that it was separating its DVD / Blu-Ray and streaming services. When Netflix unrolled its new DVD / Blu-Ray service, Qwikster, the response was a bit like when everyone found out the long-awaited Apple tablet had a name that sounded like a jam rag. While we’ll miss being able to get a new flick delivered to our door via U.S. mail and stream over the series of tubes at one low price, it could be a lot worse. Tons of things are more expensive than subscribing to both Netflix services. Here are nine.

Check out 10 reasons to stay on netflix!

Going to the Movies

Nothing ever compares to the experience of watching a movie in a cool, dark room with a mob of other people. You laugh harder, cry more and walk away with an experience greater than just seeing a flick. You also go home about $30 lighter than you went in — make that $50 if you bring a date. Between skyrocketing ticket prices and the minor atrocities committed at the concession stand, going to the cinema is a far greater expense than throwing Netflix / Qwikster whatever it is they finally end up charging for both services.

Renting Movies

Just in case anyone is still rocking Hammer pants, listening to Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, buying CDs and renting videos, we’d like to point out that this is a very expensive way to catch a film. At three bucks per — the price that renting movies cost the last time we wandered into a video rental place, somewhere around 1994 — or one dollar per night — apparently what those boxes outside of the 7-11 charge for the privilege of having a hard copy of How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days — renting movies like grandma used to is going to add up real quick.

Torrenting

Torrenting your favorite movie is, in theory, free. That’s one of the things people love about it. But it isn’t free when you add in the cost of getting sued by the MPAA. Laugh all you like. The movie industry has decided to redouble its efforts to hunt down and punish people like you who don’t want to shell out their hard-earned lettuce to find out Captain America: The First Avenger is possibly the worst super hero film since Punisher War Journal. The worst is when you get sued by the porn industry, which is happening more and more these days. Basement dwellers of the world are going to lose more than just money when pornographers come knocking on mom’s door inquiring about who downloaded Teen Butt Sluts Vol. 9.

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‘The Simpsons’ Could Get Their Own Channel, In Like Five Years Or So http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/the-simpsons-could-get-their-own-channel-in-like-five-years-or-so/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/the-simpsons-could-get-their-own-channel-in-like-five-years-or-so/#comments Mon, 19 Sep 2011 16:37:35 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=228845 It would show ALL the episodes. Like "Lisa the Vegetarian" and...ALL of them.

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Despite The Simpsons’ dwindling ratings and borderline non-existent relevance, Fox may be going forward with an idea I had while I was stoned my Junior year on high school…and again when I was stoned my Sophomore year of college. News Corp. COO Chase Carey has floated the notion of creating a channel dedicated solely to The Simpsons. But don’t get too fired up. It could take a while.

Before the channel can be launched, production of new episodes has to stop and all current syndication contracts must expire and replaced with new ones. I don’t really see this move accomplishing much besides cutting into DVD sales, but I don’t know how the series does in syndication. The series has some die-hard fans, but even their tolerance for seeing the same episodes must be tested as we are a week away from the 23rd season premiere.

That said, I would probably still watch this channel as much as I would any other channel, so sure, News Corp., go nuts.

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13 Sexiest Topless TV Scenes: Showtime Edition http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-lists/13-sexiest-topless-tv-scenes-showtime-edition/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-lists/13-sexiest-topless-tv-scenes-showtime-edition/#comments Tue, 22 Mar 2011 22:15:27 +0000 Jame Gumb http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=202964 A few weeks ago, I brought you the greatest topless scenes from HBO's original programing, and today I'm doing the same for Showtime.

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A few weeks ago, I brought you the greatest topless scenes from HBO’s original programing, and today I’m doing the same for Showtime. While HBO used to have a monopoly on quality original series (topless or otherwise), Showtime has come into its own with shows like”Weeds,”"Dexter,” and “Califronication,” just to name a few. And like HBO, the network isn’t afraid to show some skin.

As with our last outing, keep in mind that I tried to spread the love around. I could have made a list entirely off of “Californication,” but instead, I went for variety. So, my apologies in advance if your favorite girl was left off (although, check our honorable mentions to be sure). That being said, deal with it. You’re still about to look at breasts, so all and all, you have nothing to complain about.

And I shouldn’t have to say this, but the video links are NSFW.

Melissa Stephens – “Californication”

Aside from playing Peggy on “Californication,” Melissa Stephens also plays Ashlynn on “Outsourced.” But something tells me her breasts aren’t utilized nearly as much on “Outsourced,” which is a shame. If they were, I might give it a shot.

Click Here For The Video

Jessica Jaymes and Kirsten Price – “Weeds

The show is already about illicit drugs, so who’s going to complain if you throw in a subplot about pornography for good measure? Not me, that’s for sure. Jessica Jaymes and Kirsten Price briefly crossed over to the mainstream with this guest spot on “Weeds,” but were then quickly returned to cages in the San Fenando Valley by their trainers.

Click Here For The Video

Courtney Ford – “Dexter

Courtney Ford’s character on “Dexter” had some real daddy issues. This was compounded by the fact that her daddy was a serial killer played by John Litgow. At any rate, like most girls who have unresolved issues with their fathers, this character loved to get naked, and for that, I was grateful. Realism is important.

Click Here For The Video

Charlotte Salt – “The Tudors”

British history can be a pretty boring subject. Not many people care about a bunch of dead kings and queens. But throw a topless Charlotte Salt into the mix, and all of the sudden, I feel like reading the god damn Magna Carta.

Click Here For The Video

Jaime Murray – “Dexter”

Jaime Murray played a psychotic bitch on “Dexter.” Luckily, the character happened to be a psychotic bitch who loved to walk around topless, which made her 1000 times more tolerable. (Spoiler Alert) Topless or not, I’m glad she’s dead.

Click Here For The Video

Natalie Dormer – “The Tudors”

As evidenced by Natalie Dormer’s flat, pancake-like breasts, the producers of “The Tudors” went for realism. Despite what I said earlier, sometimes, realism is overrated. Even so, she still looks great.

Click Here For The Video

Shanola Hampton – “Shameless

Shanola Hampton is also big fan of getting topless. I expected a show called “Shamless” to involve some nudity, but the fact that Hampton is one of three topless women form the series really says something, considering it hasn’t even finished its first season.

Click Here For The Video

Mia Kirshner and Kate French – “The ‘L’ Word”

I never liked “The ‘L’ Word.” The first time I watched it, I thought I was in for a treat. But then, the first naked breast I saw was being diagnosed with cancer. Talk about a boner killer. However, after watching this girl-on-girl scene, maybe I need to go back and give it another look.

Click Here For The Video

Marie Louise Parker – “Weeds”

Do you like breasts? Do you like “Saved by the Bell?” Then you’ll love this scene where Marie Louise Parker from “Weeds” gets railed by the Zack from “Saved by the Bell.” Do the math.

Click Here For The Video

Emmy Rossum – “Shameless”

Emmy Rossum is my new favorite actress. That’s due, in no small part, to her willingness to get topless. In fact, it’s due entirely to that fact. Please note that the picture above does not correspond to the video. It’s not that I was too lazy to fix it, it’s just that I really, really love the picture.

Click Here For The Video

Christina Ulloa – “Californication”

Christina Ulloa is only in one episode of “Californication.” But in that episode, her character (Elizabeth) gets topless. So as far as I’m concerned, she had one of the most memorable roles on the show.

Click Here For The Video

Laura Wiggins – “Shameless”

Our third and final entry from “Shameless” is Laura Wiggins. I have not actually seen her in the show, as I’m still catching up. But this shot of her topless in a bathtub completely justifies my decision to order Showtime.

Click Here For The Video

Eva Amurri – “Californication”

For those of you who don’t watch “Californication,” Hank Moody is one lucky son of a bitch. Need proof? Look no further than Jackie, his stripper/girlfriend, played by Eva Amurri. My friend recently commented that Amurri looks like her mother, Susan Sarandon. I never noticed that. In fact, I didn’t even notice she had a face.

Click Here For The Video

Honorable Mention – Check Them Out

We didn’t have room for all the girls. Click on the picture above to see who barely missed the list.

Click Here to See Honorable Mention Pics

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