Bradley Cimo of Baja Innovations f*cking hates it when that happens. In fact, here’s what he said was the impetus for his new invention, the Flavor Funnel:

Myself and friends and a million other people have always been disgusted by how the butter runs out once you get down to the middle of the popcorn. This helps distribute the butter more evenly.

He’s DISGUSTED by this phenomenon. The thought of not having the lowest depths of his popcorn covered in artificial butter revolts him. But Bradley Cimo is a man of action, so rather than complain, he has taken arms against a sea of unbuttered troubles, and by opposing, will end them.

The Flavor Funnel is a plastic funnel-ish tube that runs down the middle of your popcorn, with holes scattered throughout, so that it may gently weep butter throughout. I’m glad that Mr. Cino is addressing this underbuttering problem head-on, as a large popcorn buttered in the traditional method doesn’t contain more than 1600 or 1700 calories, so this should be an innovation welcomed by not only theatergoers, but angioplasty balloon manufacturers and companies that make prosthetic feet for diabetics.

Actually, the Flavor Funnel addresses that question right here, saying that the goal of the Flavor Funnel is to maximize flavor using the same amount (or less) butter, though I would say that a device that presupposes that you should stick your popcorn under a buttere machine for 20 seconds might not be considered a harbinger of health.

May your song never die, Bradley Cino.

I’d rather stop writing about casting news for the satirical comedy Butter, but they keep landing hot chicks so I must oblige. Last week Jennifer Garner) who attempts to win a butter-carving title formerly held by her husband (Ty Burrell), only to be thwarted by a young black girl (Yara Ahahidi). In mirrors the themes of the 2008 Democratic primary, but with butter. If I had one gripe about that particular primary, it was that it didn’t have enough butter, even with Bill Clinton there. (Movieline)

Ashley Greene enjoys butter so much she’s signed on to co-star in a movie about it. The film centers on an Iowa woman (played by Jennifer Garner) who attempts to win a butter-carving title formerly held by her husband (Ty Burrell), only to be thwarted by a young black girl (Yara Ahahidi). Wait, where’s the part about Greene slathered in hydrogenated oil? This has been one big tease! 

Greene will play a rebellious high schooler named Kaitlen Pickler in the film directed by Jim Field Smith, who also directed hottie Alice Eve in She’s Out of My League. Just a suggestion, but a movie starring Ashley Greene, Alice Eve, butter, and absolutely no premise sounds like box office gold. Mainly because I would personally see it 250,000,000 times. (THR)

Wait. A movie that makes you look smart while you secretly daydream about the creamy taste of fresh butter? Brett Ratner is going to get soooo laid on date night. (Variety)