Here’s the list, friend-o’s.

Owen Wilson and Ben Stiller

These guys have starred in a few movies together, (Zoolander, Starsky and Hutch), but you would be amazed how many other films they’ve just appeared in together, leading me to believe that they both suffer from a cripplingly co-dependent relationship in which they break down in tears if they’re not acting with each other. Just a theory.

Beyond the aforementioned pair of movies, Stiller and Wilson have appeared in the three Meet the Parents films (God willing, there will be no fourth), The Royal Tenenbaums, two Night at the Museums, The Cable Guy, and Permanent Midnight. These guys must really like each other. Either that or they share a really, really, really lazy agent.

Robert De Niro and Joe Pesci

Yup. Goodfellas, Raging Bull, and Casino. Those were the most high-profile films for the duo, but they could almost be attributed more to Martin Scorsese than the actors. However, they’ve also teamed up in A Bronx Tale, Once Upon A Time In America, and The Good Shepherd. So while they may not have the numbers that the Stiller/Wilson tag team has, they do have a lot more credibility behind their films, even if all but The Good Shepherd are some spin on the mob genre.

Does anyone have a problem with Pesci and De Niro doing a bunch more mob movies? Anyone at all? Didn’t think so.

Billed as an award show for the people, by the people it leads us to morph into Jerry Seinfeld and ask, “Who ARE these people?” Have you ever voted in the People’s Choice Awards? Are you aware of how one votes in the People’s Choice Awards? Do you have an 11-year old niece who could perhaps explain it to you?

We took a look at past years’ categories, winners, and nominees and noticed some pretty strange doings transpiring. Seriously, who ARE these people?

Also, please not that the original title of this piece was 7 Reasons The People’s Choice Awards Are For Retardos, but we decided to take the high road.

Burt Reynolds

One thing we found is a lack of variety from year to year when it comes to winners and nominees. Johnny Depp has predominantly won Favorite Movie Actor since 2005. Not to mention his win for Favorite Actor of the Decade. Don’t get me wrong. Depp is a great actor despite what Ricky Gervais will tell you. It makes sense that he’d win. What makes zero sense is that Burt F***in’ Reynolds would win top honors five times in six years during the late 70′s/early 80′s. The fact that he was the height of sexiness back then is disturbing (he seems like the type who chews gum while taking a crap). Is that what our dad’s had to compete with? It’s a wonder any of us were ever born.

Favorite Movie Star Under 25

Realizing that Johnny Depp snatching up all the awards was bad business for the Harry Potter franchise, producers needed to introduce a new category. That’s how we got Favorite Movies Star Under 35 in 2008. But that seemed weird considering all of the nominees were 22 tops. So now we have Favorite Movie Star Under 25. It should be called, Pick Your Favorite Between The Cast of Harry Potter and Chloe Moretz.

For those not familiar with the show, Sterling Archer, the show’s protagonist, is completely obsessed with Burt Reynolds, aping him in terms of ego and “cool”ness. On the show, Reynolds will be courting Archer’s mother, Mallory. The press release doesn’t divulge a whole lot more than that, but perhaps you could anticipate some conflict and humorous exchanges?

Archer’s third season will kick off in January on FX, allowing those unfamiliar plenty of time to bask in the rapid-fire snark of the first two season. I wouldn’t recommend going in cold, newbies. It’s just too much to handle.

The two actors, not exactly known for their straight-edge lifestyle, watch over Dermot Mulroney like a couple of hypocritical angels condemned to the boonies. Memorable quote: "When I was in high school, if you couldn’t chug-a-lug a pint of booze you were nothing." So true, Burt Reynolds. That one night with a 6-pack of Hard Lemonade earned me a ton of street cred.

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