Unfortunately, after his divorce from Linda, Hulk went on such a bacchanalian voyage of drinking and lady-banging that he doesn’t remember any of his conquests. He claims that he didn’t sleep with any women after finding his current partner Jennifer five years ago. And you know what? I believe him. I really do.

Oh my God. I’m so excited about this that I’m…I’m…

I’m HULKING OUT!!!!!

Hogan didn’t know he was being filmed and hasn’t consented to the release, so we’ve got quite the soap opera brewing here.

A couple predictions: The “lady” is Brutus the Beefcake, and the sex tape is sensationally awesome. (TMZ)

Appearing on The Wendy Williams Show, which is where I’d go to set the record straight on my sexuality, Hulk Hogan responded to rumors started by his ex-wife Linda that he had a gay affair with Brutus the Beefcake. Hogan declared, “…I don’t get it…if it was true and I was gay, I’d embrace it, and I’d tell you guys about it and I’d celebrate it.”

First of all, it’s refreshing to see a figure from such a bygone, pseudo-masculine era not lash back at rumors he’s gay as if it was a personal attack. Nice work, Hulk Hogan. Score one for the WWE‘s diversity program.

Ok. Now that that’s out of the way, I am extremely curious to see how Hulk Hogan would “celebrate” homosexuality. Bleaching his hair? Garish outfits? A shiny monument of a mustache? I think he’s celebrating it right now. And I love it.