Screen Junkies » Bruce Vilanch http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Sat, 13 Dec 2014 01:22:56 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 James Franco Uses Twitter To Take Bruce Vilanch Down A Peg http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/james-franco-uses-twitter-to-take-bruce-vilanch-down-a-peg/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/james-franco-uses-twitter-to-take-bruce-vilanch-down-a-peg/#comments Tue, 22 Mar 2011 02:17:51 +0000 Geoffrey Golden http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=202870 Franco took to Twitter to blast hard-to-look-at Oscar joke writer Bruce Vilanch. Is he really blaming Vilanch? Did he slip Franco sleeping pills or something?

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It’s safe to say that James Franco is a little touchy about his Oscar performance. Or rather, the performance that he slept through / was extremely high during. After the Oscars, he posted a photo on Twitter that read “F*ck the Yale Daily News,” in response to a critic at the Yale Daily News. Wow, you’d think a big celebrity would be able to take a little heat from a college newspaper, but maybe doing 500 projects simultaneously has left him a tad irritated.

Now Franco has taken to Twitter again to blast hard-to-look-at Oscar joke writer Bruce Vilanch. In a recent interview, Vilanch said: “I have to call James Franco and tell him the show’s over … He took a nap and woke up in class.” Obviously, Vilanch was going right for the jugular, actively trying to hurt Franco’s feelings. Franco took the joke in stride, and searched his inner Perez Hilton for an appropriate response. See the photo below, which reads – in word bubbles coming out of Vilanch’s mouth: “James f*cked up the Oscars. Trust me, I know comedy. I mean, come on, I write for Bette Midler.” Zing-zanged.

Franco, a handsome, Academy Award nominated actor, probably could have ignored Vilanch’s relatively harmless joke. After all, besides successfully selling jokes, what else does Bruce Vilanch have? A collection of funny t-shirts and Robin Williams‘ contact information.

If they end up brawling, I want to see Vilanch go all Casey Heynes on whiney Franco and slam him to the ground. Also acceptable: a massive bear hug. (TheWrap)

This takedown is copyrighted James Franco, all takedown rights reserved.

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Banksy Will Be Welcomed To The Oscars Before Ricky Gervais Will http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/banksy-will-be-welcomed-to-the-oscars-before-ricky-gervais-will/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/banksy-will-be-welcomed-to-the-oscars-before-ricky-gervais-will/#comments Thu, 24 Feb 2011 22:57:39 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=29709 Yesterday, purported comedy writer Bruce Vilanch took a swipe at Ricky Gervais when questioned about the comic's recent Golden Globes hosting appearance. So how does Gervais respond? By wiping his dirty boots all over Vilanch's silly t-shirt collection.

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Yesterday, purported comedy writer Bruce Vilanch took a swipe at Ricky Gervais when questioned about the comic’s recent Golden Globes hosting appearance. In between bicycle horn honking and confetti tossing, Vilanch commented, “I mean, he never hit funny. Making jokes about The Tourist is just not funny; it’s just kind of mean-spirited and cruel.” Wow. To have Bruce Vilanch say you’re not funny is like having [insert topical joke here, shoot silly string].

So how does Gervais respond? Awesomely, of course. Today he walked through a field of dog shit and then wiped his dirty boots all over Vilanch’s silly t-shirt collection. Not literally (yet). Gervais updated his blog today with some opening banter for this year’s Oscar hosts James Franco and Anne Hathaway. I much prefer this version to whatever song they end up singing about The King’s Speech or whatever stunt Ben Stiller is going to try to pull with a Banksy mask.

Check it out in its entirety. It’s worth it.

Oh, and good luck to James Franco and Anne Hathaway at The Oscars on Sunday. I know how nervous they must be right now.

They will do an absolutely fantastic job and don’t need my help, but I’ve written a little opening in case they have a few minutes to fill.

(Drum roll)

V.O.
Ladies and Gentlemen.
Please welcome your hosts for this evening…
James Franco and Anne Hathaway

(Music and applause)
(James and Anne walk out looking absolutely perfect)

JF
Hello and welcome to The 83rd Academy Awards,
Live from Los Angeles.

AH
That’s foreign for City of Angels.
And this room is certainly filled will those angels.

(Applause)

JF
Thank you. I’m James Franco.

AH
…and I’m Anne Hathaway.

JF
You probably know me from 127 Hours where I play a man trapped in an enclosed space who decides he would rather cut his own arm off than stay where he was. Now that sounds “way out” but wait till half way through this fucking ceremony and you’ll start to identify with him.

AH
And I’m the new Catwoman. The first white woman to play that role since Michelle Pfeiffer. I want it to be an inspiration to all white people everywhere. Your dreams can come true in Hollywood too.

JF
It’s a daunting task hosting The Oscars but we’re not alone. Presenting awards tonight will be a string of Hollywood legends and some other actors who have a film out in March or April.

JF
Usually they hire comedians to host The Oscars, but tonight, instead, you get us!

AH
No comedians tonight. And do you know why? Because comics are ugly.

JF
Especially that rude obnoxious one who played the Steve Carell part in the English remake on The Office.

AH
But you can all relax because Ricky Gervais is in London…

(Nervous laughter)

He’s doing some charity work.
Yeah, he’s visiting orphans with cancer.
He’s telling them what bald little losers they are…

JF
Yeah, cos he’s rude right?

(Applause)

Thank you.
No rudeness tonight.
It’s going to be a night of the most privileged people in the world being told how brilliant they are and thanking God for loving them more than ugly poor foreigners.

(Applause)

That’s not to say that we don’t care. No, apart from all the great movies we made this year we continued our life-saving philanthropy. Mega stars like Angelina Jolie, George Clooney and Ben Stiller brought light to third world poverty and famine and shocked the world with visions of children so hungry they’d been living off dead beetles all their lives.

AH
Yeah and Yoko Ono said. “What’s wrong with that?”

(Laughter)

JF
Oh Anne you are naughty. In a respectful, wholesome way.

(Nodding and smiling)

That Ricky Gervais should do more for charity.

(Murmurs of agreement)

Ricky Gervais is now worth $80,000,000. The obnoxious Brit confirmed the figure, adding,”Yes and my dentist hasn’t seen a penny.”

AH
Yeah, why doesn’t he get his teeth straightened and bleached like everyone else in Hollywood?

JF
It’s a good question Anne. For the same reason he doesn’t have botox or suck up to important producers – there’s something wrong with him.

AH
There must be. Why isn’t the stocky, fangy, little slob more like us, right?

JF
That ugly dude needs to get a Hollywood makeover, big time.

AH
Quite. And even though most of the actresses here have eating disorders, that’s better than being fat right?

JF
You bet it is gorgeous.

AH
You are so handsome.

JF
Exactly.
You know Ricky Gervais used to be bulimic.

AH
Really?

JF
Yes. He’d often gorge himself for hours with cheese and cakes.

AH
And then vomit right?

JF
No he left that bit out…

(Mild laughter)

AH
That’s because he couldn’t get his fat fucking fingers in his stupid mouth.

(Big laugh)

JF
Anyway let’s get this show on the road.
There were some great kids’ movies this year.
I took a five year old to see Toy Story 3 last week.

AH
Did you enjoy it?

JF
No it was ruined for me because the little brat was screaming and crying all the way through the film saying, “Who are you?” “You’re not my daddy.” “Take me back to the park where you grabbed me…”

(Laughter)

AH
Oh James, you are a card. And your slightly risky jokes are not threatening because you’re one of us. And you are so handsome.

JF
Absolutely.
So let’s get this show on the road.
Our first presenter is a Hollywood legend whose boots Ricky Gervais would not be fit to kiss…
The wonderful…
Mel Gibson…

(Standing ovation)

Vilanch responded by looking like Sweetums the Muppet.

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