7 photosBrooklyn Decker

Of course, it could be an all-out cheesefest that doesn’t strike the right balance of bullshit to awesome in the same way that Battle: Los Angeles did. But for right now, I’m gleefully optimistic that this movie is going to kick ass in a dumb fun kind of way. Unless, of course, Liam Neeson speaks the line, “They sank my battleship!” In which case, laaaaame.

7 photosBrooklyn Decker

Rock will play the head of a group of expectant fathers who speaks at unnecessarily loud volumes and Kendrick and Decker will both play mommies-to-be. Kendrick’s character is Rosie, a girl who becomes pregnant after hooking up with a fellow food truck owner. Five bucks says they open a bakery truck called “Bun In The Oven.” Decker, meanwhile, will play an impossibly hot woman married to an older man. She pisses off all her friends when she breezes through a pregnancy with twins and is still awarded the Congressional Medal Of Women I’d Like To Motorboat. Haters gonna hate. (Deadline and Deadline)

Just Go With It isn’t nearly as bad as Grown-Ups. Just Go With It is just stupid. It’s not mean or hateful. If it weren’t my job to evaluate it, I wouldn’t really care, but here we are so this is why Just Go With It sucks a little less than Grown-Ups.

Daniel Macabee (Adam Sandler) is a player using the sympathy card when he tells the ladies about his abusive wife. And he’s a plastic surgeon so he has access to lots of hotties. He thinks Palmer (Brooklyn Decker) is actually the right girl for him, but now he’s got to convince her he’s getting divorced, because she’s no home wrecker.

Danny gets his assistant Katherine (Jennifer Aniston) to play the ex-wife, but she answers a call from her kids in front of Palmer, so now he’s got to pretend the kids are his. Forget about why Palmer is okay with all this. It’s a bit too soon for any of this to be an issue if you ask me. I mean, meeting the kids on the third date?

Luckily, Katherine’s daughter Maggie (Bailee Madison) is an aspiring actor, so she and Michael (Griffin Gluck) play along. Basically, the whole movie is about bad improv, as an excuse to justify bad improv. If you find liars fumbling for answers funny, then this is the movie for you. Personally, if it’s not Jon Lovitz, I’m not interested. Yeah, I said it.

The easy plastic surgery jokes are lame. They reference “Californication,” Saw and Avatar to show they’re paying attention. They dip into erectile dysfunction and irritable bowel syndrome in act one, and Sandler does 3-4 riffs on the price of shoes in a single scene. When Katherine’s college rival Devlin (Nicole Kidman!) shows up, it’s just embarrassing. I know she thinks she’s appealing to the populist audiences with something like this, but she should at least hold out for a Fockers movie.

Of course, it’s a total shock when Katherine dresses up hot, because you could never tell she’s attractive when she wears T-shirts and sweaters. I mean, my God, she wears glasses! Ugh, glasses, how awful.

You end up realizing halfway through that Sandler just wanted to go back to Hawaii again. They even set that up from the start. I should have caught on. Come on, you already shot a movie there. Go on your own time. There’s actually a hula dance off at the end.

At an hour and 45 minutes, the movie is way too long for this premise. You’ve got to be able to bring this sort of thing in under 90. The first thing they could cut is the awful prologue about Daniel’s cheating fiancé and he Jersey Shore friends and the Maccabee family’s big prosthetic noses. The wedding ring schtick doesn’t need an explanation. It’s just something he does until he meets the right girl.

I’m most disappointed that the trailers make this out to be a much darker, funnier premise. I thought it was supposed to be about Sandler killing off his fake kids for sympathy. The TV spots show the one scene where he announces his plan to make the fake kids disappear. That’s false advertising.

A word from Brooklyn: “When I was 10, I thought I would be the first lady president, and then on the side I would be an actress, and on the weekends a veterinarian. That was my plan. So, yeah, I had high hopes.”

Director: Dennis Dugan

Cast: Adam Sandler, Jennifer Anniston, Nicole Kidman, Brooklyn Decker

Synopsis: A man enlists the help of a woman and her kids to land the woman of his dreams.

Release Date: February 11, 2011

He stopped short of predicting it would be a nightmarish mash-up of special effects and thin plots, ’cause, you know, glass houses and whatnot, but he does go on about how Hollywood puts too much of a premium on established brands and not enough on creating new ones. He seems to (consciously or not) overlook the fact that respected helmer Peter Berg is running the Battleship circus, which throws a little more credibility behind the production of a big-budget feature based on a simplistic board game. (The fact that Rihanna and Brooklyn Decker are also on board is another story altogether.) His words may have had more gravity if he had cited a Michael Bay movie, but Transformers movies only come out every nine months or so, and Cameron didn’t want to wait that long to let his feelings be known.

Cameron summed up his point nicely, saying, “They want to make the Battleship game into a film… This is pure desperation.” Says the gentleman whose next two projects are Avatar 2 and Avatar 3.

Yee-haw, lil’ doggies! A herd a posters have hit the Inernetz over the past couple-a days so we brought in Whiplash to round ‘em all up fer yas. I think you’lls all agrees that Photoshop does not a good one-sheet make, er somethin’. Let’s get a move on!

Like the trailer for the film, I’m just going with it. Why fight it, really? Awful beach background. A fist bump. None of it matters. If Adam Sandler still makes you laugh, you’ll see this movie. But poor Jennifer Aniston. She used to have so much promise. Why won’t a nice man marry her already and give her a baby? (JoBlo)

Matt Damon and Emily Blunt were running away from a looming green screen until the Universal marketing department decided they wanted them to run away from a giant Terrence Stamp shadow. No wait, two! TWO giant Terrence Stamp shadows! If this movie doesn’t deliver on superfluous Terrence Stamp shadows I’m going to be extremely disappointed. (Collider)

Alex Pettyfer plays an alien, or Ryu from Street Fighter, in this DJ Caruso-directed film. When the whoevers or whatevers come to kill him they’re going to get a big surprise. Blue Gak to the face, or a dose of human emotion from an alien life form that will give them pause. (Collider)

Sandler plays a guy who gets girls by wearing a wedding ring and telling them that his wife is awful to him. Then he meets a girl (Brooklyn Decker) without the ring, but she finds the ring and is all like, “WTF?” So Sandler gets his frumpy (but not really) best friend, played by Jennifer Aniston, to pretend she’s his ex-wife, only to realize that she turns hot when she wears her hair down. Then some kid puts his face on Sandler’s weiner. I’m sure there’s more to it, but not much.

Just Go With It hits theaters February 11, 2011.

The news that there is a film in the works based upon the board game Battleship is a crazy enough notion. So, why am I still surprised by the casting news? We’ve already reported that Rihanna had joined the cast, because there was apparantly a Rihanna-like character intrinsic to the storyline. Now it has been announced that swimsuit model and Transformers 3 hopeful Brooklyn Decker will play Taylor Kitsch‘s love interest in the film. I mean, movie. I mean, commercial. I mean, Peter Berg‘s excuse to party with Rihanna and Brooklyn Decker. (Deadline)