The latest trailer for The Hangover Part III lays out the film’s plot. After Alan goes off his meds, the guys take a road trip to deliver him to a rehab facility. However, they’re hijacked by gangsters on the hunt for Mr. Chow while en route. That leads to a global hunt and probably male nudity.

Thus I’m happy to present the first teaser trailer for this summer’s biggest comedy. Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifianakis,Ed Helms, and some form of exotic animal return to have crazy adventures with Las Vegas gangsters one more time.

Well, this thing has gradually gone from good to great with the likes of Christian Bale, Bradley Cooper, Amy Adams, Louie C.K., Jeremy Renner, and most recently, Jennifer Lawrence.

It’s hard not to get excited about this cast, director, and premise, which is exactly why Mark Wahlberg is checking his phone like a a fourteen year-old Asian girl, wondering if he’s in a dead cell zone or something because there has to be a good reason why Russell hasn’t called him yet.

All in all, it looks like it could be a compelling film. Much more effective now that they’ve changed the name from Stuff Hanging From Ryan Gosling’s Mouth.

“The Hangover Part III is Alan’s story,” Phillips told Entertainment Weekly about Zach Galifianakis’s character. “He’s going through a crisis after the death of his father, [and] the Wolfpack is all he has.” Without saying too much, he also reveals the third film “brings the group together when something from the first movie comes back to haunt them.”

We’ll just have to wait patiently to see what kind of exotic animal this story will involve.

“I hope we’ll start shooting next September. I know (director) Todd Phillips is working on the script. We stuck to the formula in the second one but the third would need to close the trilogy. I think it’ll take place in L.A. and not adhere to the structure.”

I don’t know. Can we believe him that we’ll be entertained in a fresh and original way? The man is an actor after all. He’s paid to make believe. This could just be one huge misdirect tailored to trick us into buying tickets for another chapter. Then again… those eyes. They’re so deep. I feel like I can see into his soul. It’s warm and honest there. (National Ledger)

Rather than tread well-worn territory or lower ourselves to the standards of some puerile magazine, we thought we’d address the elephant in the room: the sexiest men not alive. As best we can tell, this hasn’t been done before, and if it has, we’re gonna do it better.

These guys are so hot it makes me want to take Bradley Cooper and kill him just so he can join this list.

Bernie

This corpse has a quiet confidence that really resonates with people. That, coupled with his sharp, island casual attire makes him a shoo-in for this shortlist. Granted, mustaches were not at the height of fashion when Weekend at Bernie’s came out, but he owned that look in a way that no one had since Tom Selleck. I wonder what Bernie’s up to now?

Probably still dead and rotting is my guess.

Eric Northman

I don’t know if vampires are technically “undead,” and I don’t want to get into a whole big thing about it with the nerd police, so let’s just say that vampires are “not alive,” shall we? Yeah, we shall.

For someone who’s hundreds of years old, True Blood’s Eric Northman looks uh-mazing. To put it in perspective, Michael Douglas is 67 and alive. Have you seen Michael Douglas with his shirt off recently? He looks like shit. Northman is like ten times as old and he looks great. Always taking time to comb his hair and do jackknife sit-ups has really paid off for this vampire.

The Well Zombie from The Walking Dead

http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=225824 Living in LA, you learn to keep your guard up if your girlfriend or date takes up with an actor. There are rules. First of all, don’t let your girlfriend talk to famous people that are richer and better-looking than you are. However, remember you live in LA, where almost everyone is some combination of more famous/richer/better looking than you. Then move to rule two. Rule two is: Insert yourself into their conversation so that the actor in question knows that you’re her boyfriend and your girlfriend knows that you’re on to her game. It sure as hell won’t change anything, but when they leave together, you’ll sleep easie knowing that you did everything you could.

Well, that’s the real world. Now imagine going up against fictional characters. They’re shrewder and better-looking than real people. You might as well start sobbing now. And keep your girlfriend the hell away from these guys.

6. Aldous Snow – Forgetting Sarah Marshall/Get Him to the Greek

Mr. Snow (Russell Brand) may be the biggest jackass on this list (and this list is rife with jackasses), but he has a very endearing, naïve quality that allows him to steal any woman he wants. He’s pretty much two-for-two, having stolen the titular Sarah Marshall from Jason Segel’s Peter Bretter and banged Jonah Hill’s gf in a bizarre threesome in Get Him to the Greek. If your girlfriend has a pulse and 51% of her limbs, then she’s fair game for Snow.

5. Glenn Guglia – The Wedding Singer

While we don’t see anyone lose their girlfriend to Julia’s fiancé in The Wedding Singer, it’s a foregone conclusion that he will throw back some Alabama Slammers and have his way with her. He’s also the least likely on this list to take “no” for an answer.

I think we all wish that he has taken Robbie’s (Adam Sandler) advice midway through the film and had a few drinks, then driven home.

4. Wooderson – Dazed and Confused

It’s nothing personal. It’s the Wooderson (Matthew McConaughey) way. If (when) Wooderson went after m high school girlfriend, I don’t even think I’d be mad. I’d be all, “That’s our Wooderson! It’s what he does! Psssh! Scoundrel!”

Frankly, if you take issue with your lady sleeping with a mustachioed, toe-headed Matthew McConaughey, just keep her the hell away from him and his moon tower keggers. It’s not like he’s playing his hand close to the vest.

It boils down to this: If Wooderson gets close enough to your girl to bang her, it’s your own damn fault. Seriously. It’s f*ckin’ Wooderson.

But what other actor in Hollywood could be so totally wrong for the role?

Mark Wahlberg‘s name has come up again. He was originally offered the film but a deal was never put into place. However, if he still has access to the wig he wore in Rock Star, this could be the right fit. Another name being floated out there is Channing Tatum, who could also work in a that-totally-doesn’t-work kind of way. All I know is that the filmmakers only have a handful of chances to screw up this reboot, and casting is the best place to start. That’s why they should take a chance and look into David Hyde Pierce’s availability. (THR)

With small appearances in Flags Of Our Fathers and Kinsey before freeing the slaves from vampire rule, this is a big role for Walker. Says Proyas of the film, “It’s not just armies battling in an epic war. This is an adventure about the origins of good and evil after Lucifer’s rebellion gets him cast out of Heaven and leads to a struggle with his brother archangel over the soul of mankind, starting with Adam and Eve. That is the scope of the narrative here, and we’ve tried to stay as faithful as possible to Milton’s text, particularly its focus on Lucifer’s evolution and the birth of evil. It’s a family saga, about a group on brothers, two in particular, who are on divergent paths, and Lucifer’s feelings of betrayal by his father and family that forge his descent into evil.”

Staying as faithful as possible to Milton’s text without switching the “s”‘s out for “f”‘s, of course. Man, history is a weird place. (Deadline)

Last year, Cooper was attached to the lead role of a former teacher who moves in with his mom after being institutionalized for depression, but was cast aside when director David O. Russell‘s best guy, Mark Wahlberg, showed interest. Wahlberg, however, now has to bow out due to a scheduling conflict. So, now Cooper is back and things are going to be awkwaaaard at the table read.

Robert De Niro, whose trailer accidentally fused to Cooper’s on the set of Limitless, will continue his recent trend of going only where Cooper goes. He’s currently in talks for an undisclosed role. Jennifer Lawrence will also star as a young woman who jumps from bed to bed after the death of her husband. That’s every ghost’s nightmare. (Deadline)

Director Alex Proyas will begin production soon in Sydney with the intention of a late 2013 release. There’s no word about exactly how much mo-cap will be employed and whether it will be used for all characters or just a select few. We’ll keep you posted when Andy Serkis joins the production because whether the filmmakers know it or not, Andy Serkis finds his way into all motion captured films. He’s like Lawnmower Man. (Ausfilm via The Playlist)

“Pic follows around a pro motorcycle rider (Gosling) who starts robbing banks to support his newborn son — until he crosses paths with a determined young cop (Cooper). Liotta will play a fierce, crooked officer on the force.”

7 photosAnna Friel

The project is intended to be a more gritty take than the original 1994 adaptation which was pretty gritty in its own right. Bradley Cooper is set to star as the vengful goth spirit whose soul cannot rest until he avenges his wife’s murder. So I guess this is actually more a gritty reboot of Bradley Cooper‘s image. Can’t imagine him covered in pancake and burning heroin addicts alive, but the threat of having to do Kate Hudson rom-coms does funny things to a man. (Variety)

Paramount has fast-tracked and financed Doug Liman’s Luna, the story of some rogue scientists who build a makeshift rocket to retrieve an energy source located on the moon. The project has been in the works for years, but couldn’t find financing until now courtesy of Skydance and New Regency. Liman and Jon Hamburg wrote the original draft of the script, though it’s been reworked several times since then. The project is now poised to be Liman’s next, so the question of casting has quickly become a priority.

The shortlist of male leads includes Bradley Cooper, Andrew Garfield, Emile Hirsch and Chris Pine, all of whom have starred in blockbusters. (I’m considering Speed Racer a blockbuster for the sake of Hirsch’s feelings.) No talks are underway, but expect that list to get culled quickly. As for the fairer sex, producers are looking to Rosario Dawson, Megan Fox, Rachel McAdams, Eva Mendes, Zoe Saldana and Olivia Wilde. So they’re going with “young hot women.” Interesting approach.

Ahhhhhhhhh….

Wilde’s role hasn’t been disclosed, but she joins a cast already packed with the aforementioned Cooper, John Hannah, J.K. Simmons, Dennis Quaid, Jeremy Irons, and Zoe Saldana. The Words follows a writer who finds there is a stiff price to pay for stealing another man’s work. A thrilling price? Probably.

This role is just one of many Wilde has lined up for herself as she is quickly finding herself scheduled to a Franco-esque degree, but without all the batshit crazy side projects. She’s got Cowboys and Aliens, The Change-Up, In Time, Butter, Welcome to People, Blackbird, and of course, a little TV show called “House.”

No wonder she doesn’t have time to date my buddy Craig. (Variety)

In a recent interview with Charlie Rose, actor Bradley Cooper revealed that he teamed up with a friend to write a spec adaptation of author Dan Simmons’ Hyperion, part of a series of futuristic sci-fi novels. They already sent their version to GK Films, with the hope of landing the actual writing gig. That takes some real nerd balls, right there.

14 photosWarner Bros. Releases Too Many 'Hangover Part II' Stills

First of all, the film does a great job of handling how the exact same thing happens again. The characters acknowledge it just enough without being all, “Remember the last time we passed out and had to piece back the comic misadventures of the night before?” The only excuse they need is “it’s still funny,” so they don’t dwell on the explanation.

It is nice to see more of the wolf pack’s everyday interaction, including how they’ve coped with the history of Vegas. Phil’s (Bradley Cooper) basically the same but Doug (Justin Bartha) is happily married and Stu (Ed Helms) is now completely overprotective. Alan (Zach Galifianakis) is a definitive personality with his pronunciation of Thailand and random Doogie Howser jokes, and, as destructive as he is, he’s also sweet and protective.

‘Hangover Part II’ Teaser Warms Your Frat Boy Heart

They really build another mystery, even though we’ve already seen Stu’s face tattoo and Alan’s shaved head on the poster. The catch phrases on the poster aren’t spoilers either. “I have a demon in me” comes up in a totally different context than I imagined it would. The script by Scot Armstrong, Craig Mazin and Todd Phillips seamlessly applies the Hangover structure to a new setting. The beauty of it is it could happen anywhere, or with anyone (i.e. franchise.)

This hangover is even more desperate. Stealing Tyson’s tiger is irresponsible, but it’s easy enough to stay out of a wildcat’s path. Thailand is epically seedy and their exploits there have permanent ramifications. They have not given away the most shocking moments in the trailer. You’ve seen one-off gags like hitting the pig with the car, but the actual immoral ones are a surprise. The tattoo artist cameo definitely didn’t need to be a celebrity stunt casting. It works great with just a tough character actor.

6 photosKim Lee

If you want a completely different structure then you’ll be disappointed, but then also it wouldn’t be The Hangover, it would just be some other movie. So it’s a tattoo instead of a tooth and a monkey instead of a baby. Stu’s new song isn’t quite as funny as “Halle Berry in her Catwoman suit” and the photo montage at the end isn’t as shocking, but I’m glad they tried them again. The beauty of sequels is they can try different takes on familiar favorites, and build on what they’ve done before. It becomes tradition and there are plenty of new bits destined to be classics. Alan’s meditation flashback is so right for depicting how Alan sees the world.

Look, it’s not entirely unpredictable but it’s funny. The explanation for their second blackout is a bit disappointing but so far, The Hangover Part II is the only summer movie that lives up to the hype. I want to see another one, but the next blackout shouldn’t happen at a wedding. Maybe Doug’s son’s bar mitzvah, and not just finding another missing person. They should cause an international incident, maybe murder someone. It can turn out in the end that he was a terrorist and they actually saved the day, but take it to the next level. Keep doing it though.

14 photosWarner Bros. Releases Too Many 'Hangover Part II' Stills

“We are very gratified by the Court’s decision which will allow the highly anticipated film, The Hangover Part II to be released on schedule this week around the world. Plaintiff’s failed attempt to enjoin the film in order to try and extract a massive settlement payment from Warner Bros. was highly inappropriate and unwarranted.”

There you have it. If I were that tattoo artist, I’d definitely buy a ticket for something else and sneak into The Hangover Part II this weekend. (Deadline)

While those executives piece their night together, you can flip through the above gallery, showing highlights from the newly released group of high quality pics from the summer sequel, starring Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifianakis, Ed Helms and Ken Jeong. The Wolf Pack is back, doing things that are similar to their first outing, but also enough different stuff to warrant your $38.

Directed by Todd Phillips, The Hangover Part II drunkenly stumbles into theaters May 26th. (More images at Collider)

First up out of the corral is Dennis Quaid, who’s joining Jeremy Irons and Bradley Cooper in The Words. Quaid will play “Clay Hammond, a celebrated writer, in the tale in which Cooper’s character, another writer, discovers the price he must pay for stealing the work of another man, played by Irons.” Sounds like a rootin’-tootin’ good time, and also a meditation on creativity and plagiarism. (The Hollywood Reporter)

Next up under the branding iron are cowpokes Orlando Bloom and Nick Nolte, who’ve been cast in “coming-of-age road-trip comedy” Idea in America along with Stanley Tucci and Cristiana Capotondi. (The Hollywood Reporter)

The no. 3 spot on this rodeo is held by Helen Hunt, who’s a-gonna direct and star in romantic comedy Ride. A romantic comedy starring and directed by Helen Hunt? YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAW!

Finally, we got England‘s Number 1 Wrangler Colin Firth, who will play the lead role in an untitled comedy to be directed by Dante Ariola from a script written by Becky Johnston. Here’s a plot synopsis, which rolls through your field of vision like a tumblin’ tumbleweed: “Firth plays a man who hates his job and is hated by his ex-wife and son. Feeling he missed his one shot at living the dream, he fakes his death and buys a new identity.” (Deadline)

Cianfrance has offered the role of a rookie cop to Bradley Cooper. If he accepts, he’ll portray the nemesis to Ryan Gosling’s motorcycle pro/bank robber character. After crossing paths during a robbery, their confrontation spirals into a generational feud. Wait. Hold up. Ryan Gosling is playing a motorcycle pro who is also a bank robber? I’d expect that from Taylor Lautner, but Gosling? All right, I guess. Sounds believable (?) (Variety)

It seems that Alex Proyas, director of the original The Crow, is the force (and director) behind the adaptation of Milton’s epic poem. But there is no indication that Proyas has anything to do with the developing Crow reboot, which is directed by Juan Carlos Fresnadillo.

Which begs the question: WHY DO PEOPLE INVOLVED WITH THE CROW LOVE BRADLEY COOPER SO MUCH?

Perhaps his wavy hair and winning smile really play to their goth sensibilities. Lord knows they play to mine. (Variety)

Relativity has been busy launching a remake of The Crow, for which Bradley Cooper is in talks to star. Ughhh. However, The Weinstein Company says they have a contract from 2009 giving TWC exclusive distribution rights Crow sequels. They filed an injunction against Relativity, who was shopping those rights around. Now there’s a very public war of words, but will it get to the point where T-Bird gets involved? I guess we’ll see. Here’s what lawyer types are saying:

Team Weinstein: “(Relativity CEO Ryan) Kavanaugh decided that Relativity would not perform that contract and will purport to sell TWC’s distribution rights to others here and overseas in willful breach of contract.” … “If somebody tries to buy those rights other than the Weinsteins, those people will be simply buying a lawsuit.”

vs.

Team Relativity: “This is yet another typical litigation stunt from the Weinsteins who have a long history of threatening law suits with the sole purpose of intimidation.” … “While we expect these types of antics from the Weinsteins, we are shocked that a lawyer of Mr. Fields’ caliber would make such false, reckless and intentionally harmful statements to the press about Relativity and Mr. Kavanaugh. We intend to seek appropriate remedies for this misconduct.”

If the movie doesn’t happen, look for Relativity execs to dress all emo and exact some revenge. (Variety)

My favorite is the one with Ed Helms, who’s making a tough-to-pin-down facial expression, somewhere between intense fear and resignation. Which one is your favorite? The monkey, probably. I bet it’s the monkey. (Empire)

Those words have apparently been uttered. Probably by a 45-year female studio executive who suggests Bradley Cooper for everything from The Muppets to The Expendables 2. Well, it appears someone must owe this fictitious executive a favor, because she got some traction on what may be the most mismatched pairing of role and actor since Gary Coleman was initially pegged to play Wyatt Earp in Tombstone.

Juan Carlos Fresnadillo is now attached to direct the reboot, which does nothing to change the fact that this is a very, very odd choice. The rumor mill claims he’s “in negotiations” to star in the film. How far along he is, or what role he’ll play (I would actually love to see him as a sleazy villain) remains to be seen.

Whatever the case may be, the important thing is that we, as Internet denizens, overreact to the news as wildly as possible without gathering any more information. Let’s go. (THR)