Bobby Peru (Wild At Heart)

Willem DaFoe is one of those guys whose pretty much creepy no matter who he’s playing. In David Lynch’s Wild At Heart, however, he really knocks it out of the park. We’re not sure if it’s the moustache, the teeth, the scene where he gropes on Laura Dern’s tits and then gets bored, or what. Probably a combination of all of the above. Whatever you do, though, don’t try and hold up a feed shop to impress a girl. It probably won’t work and you’ll just get your head blown off.

Pee Wee Herman (Pee Wee’s Big Adventure)

He’s a grown-ass man who acts like a 6-year old. This, plus the crucial bike, kind of make him a hero of ours The thing about Pee Wee is that he’s totally oblivious to the fact that there’s anything weird about him. That, plus all his amazing gadgetry, are what chicks dig about him. This is what we call the playful creepy. You can pretty much picture Pee Wee jumping out of a cake for a girl’s birthday, then running around the room doing some weird dance. If you ever meet a girl who’s into “bike culture,” bone up on Pee Wee and his big adventure.