“The other Capone, Nucky! Alphonse Gabriel Capone!!”

(Before we go any further, can we all just take a second and imagine that the 42 seasons of BWE took erratic Mad Men-like chronological jumps into the future, putting elderly bootleggers smack in the middle of the disco era by the 40th season?)

One more season means further opportunity to either elate viewers by finally turning this into a knock-down, drag-out gangster show or infuriate them by continuing to be all Downton Abbey when it damn well knows it should be a gangster series.

In any event, Boardwalk Empire‘s thoughtful writing and luminous production design at the very least outweighs the cultural damage done by Big Bang Theory, so we should probably all treat this is mildly good news.

But don’t worry for Paz. Her horror flick Nurse 3-D is currently in post-production. Plus we’ll likely be able to see her naked body in  Amsterdam, Inferno: A Linda Lovelace Story and probably the grocery store too knowing her. (TV Line)

Although HBO programming has no shortage of interesting characters, part of the allure of the channel’s offerings is that even the most beloved characters serve the story, and as such, can be killed off at a moment’s notice. Sure, losing a favorite character on a show sucks, but it offers up the conceit that anything can happen, ultimately making the shows more engaging.

We saw one such instance last night on Boardwalk Empire. I won’t reveal who it was here, but the death is listed below, so don’t read if you’re a fan of the show or plan on getting into it. That also goes for the following shows: Deadwood, Oz, The Sopranos, Game of Thrones, and The Wire.. I feel like I’ve been up on most of the “important” HBO dramas, so if you feel that a character from another show isn’t represented here, or if I picked the wrong character for a show that is listed, tell us about it in the comments.

Wild Bill Hickock – Deadwood

While Keller wasn’t a “good guy” the same way Wild Bill was, he was the sole source of happiness for Tobias Beecher, the only likeable character anywhere on the show. Further, he remained the most interesting characters in Oswald State Penitentiary. So when he through himself over the railing to his death, viewers found Tobias all alone all over again. Further, no more Keller meant no more passing shots of Keller’s penis, which didn’t bother me, but probably upset a very prominent demographic of Oz’s core fan base.

Christopher Moltisanti – The Sopranos

Of all the in stances in which Chrissy could have died, and all the different ways it could have happened, the from-out-of-nowhere car wreck, then the subsequent strangulation by Tony hit like a sucker punch. As we geared up for the climax between the two families in the final season, we expected casualties through the war, but this unexpected pit stop during the rising action did more to shed light on these characters than any mafia showdown could have. Without Christopher’s death, we would have never seen Tony on peyote, and that shit was awesome.

A pathetic death for such a tragic figure.

When asked about his role in Man of Steel, the actor and current star of Boardwalk Empire lamented the fact that so many fanboys are so very, very wrong about his character’s wardrobe.

…There’s people that have these pictures – somebody generated this on a computer, but I don’t know it’s a picture of what people think I’m going to look like in the movie. They have like a Fu Manchu, kind of like this black SS uniform and it’s pretty mind-blowingly awful and it’s completely inaccurate, but I go ahead and sign them anyway. But I tell them when I sign the picture, I say “This isn’t – you’re wrong.” You know, whoever thought that they cracked the case is way off.

While your theories about Zod’s outfit might be way off, chances are you already have a pretty good idea about the plot, not that Shannon is allowed to discuss it.

“It’s kind of like saying I’m not supposed to talk about the Pledge of Allegiance,” Shannon said. “It’s kind of silly.”

This means that Nucky and the gang will be in our lives for the next year-and-a-half at least, which I’m happy about. Although I’ve seen the show as a bit of an underperformer, I have faith that either I will warm up to the characters or the show will meet me halfway and make them a little more accessible. Unlike my feelings towards Tony Soprano, Tobias Beecher, and Detective McNulty, I don’t really care if Enoch Thompson lives or dies or is happy or not. He’s not compelling in the same way some of the supporting characters are, so let’s hope some further development of his character or a shift in focus is on the horizon.

Also, I’m excited to see more of Half-Facey, Prohibition Andre 3000, and Irish Girl.

Boardwalk Empire and The Wire star Michael K. Williams announced last week that although he failed to win the lead, Quentin Tarantino might be writing a role for him in the slavery western. Williams remarked, “I’m going to dare to say it’s going to go.” However, noting how non-official that sounds he went on to say, “Yes, I’ve been given a timeline. January through April. I’ve been given some dates when he’s going to want me to work, but I haven’t gotten the official word yet.”

That makes it sound like it is likely to go through. January through April. Mark it down. That’s our window to move product on the streets. (AICN)

The series is adapted from Nelson Johnson’s book, “Boardwalk Empire: The Birth, High Times, and Corruption of Atlantic City.” The lead character in the show is Enoch “Nucky” Thompson, played expertly by Steve Buscemi. Thompson is based on the real-life political kingpin, Enoch L. Johnson. Show creator Terrence Winter may have decided to portray a fictionalized version of Nucky to allow the writers to create a show worth watching, but they seem to have captured his persona completely. Here’s a look at how Nucky and the rest of the show’s colorful characters compare to their real life counterparts.

Enoch “Nucky” Thompson/Enoch L. Johnson

Buscemi’s character does great justice to the real-life Johnson. He may have ruled the underworld of Atlantic City, but to the public he was a savior that rode in a chauffeur-driven limo yet gave generously to those who needed help. In the show as in real-life, Nucky lived like a king, wearing expensive designer suits with his signature red carnation in his lapel, and strolling the boardwalk after waking up from his comfy bed in his suite on the eighth floor of the Ritz-Carlton.

“The Commodore” Louis Kuehnle

Nucky would have never have risen to power without the help others. Before “The Commodore” Louis Kuehnle was convicted on corruption charges, he established the system of kickbacks that made him and then Nucky rich. After his fall from grace, Johnson was able to take the reigns of power. The show has Dabney Coleman playing the Commodore, who is also Jimmy Dormady’s (Michael Pitt) father. This father/son story line may be pretty cool, but unfortunately it’s not true. And although “The Commodore” did challenge Nucky’s leadership, in actuality, the two eventually reconciled, and Johnson backed Kuehnle’s successful campaign for City Commissioner in 1920, a post he held until his death.

Sheriff Elias “Eli” Thompson/Alf Johnson

Sheriff Elias “Eli” Thompson (Shea Whigham) is his brother and henchman on the show. His character is based on the real-life Alf Johnson, Nucky Johnson’s actual brother. Alf, Nucky and their father all rotated in-and-out on the office of County Sheriff. And while this is depicted in the show, the time line is off, as Alf didn’t make it into office until after 1920.

Click here for the 15 Sexiest Topless TV Scenes: HBO Edition

Boardwalk Empire airs Sundays at 9:00 PM EST/PST on HBO.

(Click the image for an enlarged, horizontal view.)

Immerse yourself in the world of politician-turned-bootlegger Nucky Thompson. Stroll down the boardwalk with your trusty German manservant. Stop by Klu Klux Klan headquarters and try to prevent a race riot. Or spend some quality time at Johnny Torrio’s Chicago brothel. But watch out for those wet blankets at the women’s temperance league and the half-faced hit-man Richard Harrow. Hours of fun await you with the Boardwalk Empire Board Game!

Text by Penn Collins and Jame Gumb
Design by Susannah Hainley

Check out Fact From Fiction: The Real History Of ‘Boardwalk Empire’

Nevertheless, next Friday you can catch the inimitable Mr. Buscemi reprising his role of Enoch “Nucky” Thompson in the season two premier of HBO’s Boardwalk Empire. Personally, I’m not surprised Buscemi has found his greatest fame on television. In my humble opinion, he should have made the transition to the “small screen” years ago. Can you imagine how amazing he would have been playing some of the most beloved characters in TV history?

Well, in case you lack the faculty of imagination, I did a little photoshopping to give you a peak at what might have been.

Buscemi as Mitch Buchannon – Baywatch

Baywatch, a show about lifeguards, was the most-watched television series of all time, with over 1 billion viewers (no, really, 1,000,000,000) tuning in around the world each and every week. And that was with David Hasselhoff. Could you imagine how popular the show would have been if, instead of the Hoff, the show’s producers had cast chronically pasty Steve Buscemi to star along side Pam Anderson and Yasmine Bleeth? I bet the show would still be on today.

Buscemi as Ward Cleaver – Leave It to Beaver

Rascally Beaver Cleaver (a name that could only have been cooked up in a genuine age of innocence) was always getting into some sort of trouble. Luckily, he had parents Ward and June to guide him through the trials and tribulations of life in suburban 1950s America. Hugh Beaumont was quite steady as Beaver’s all-American dad, but there was always something a little bland about good old Ward.

You know who would have spiced the character up a bit? Yep, Steve Buscemi. Obviously, he’s not old enough to have played Ward Cleaver, but every night in my dreams I watch serial killer Garland Greene from Con Air explain life to his sons, Wally and the Beave.

Buscemi as Balki Bartokomous – Perfect Strangers

Remember ABC’s TGIF Friday night lineup? Of course you do. Who could forget classic sitcoms like Full House, Family Matters, Step by Step and, last but not least, Perfect Strangers?

These shows were overflowing with schmaltzy plots, corny catch-phrases, and zany characters. And no one was more zany than the lovable Myposian, Balki Bartokomous, from Perfect Strangers. Sure every episode was the same—Balki does something silly, embarrassing Cousin Larry; Cousin Larry gets bottles up his rage until he flips his lid; Balki sulks; Cousin Larry apologizes; everybody is happy again!—but that’s what made it great (according to memories formed by my 10-year-old self).

Still, as much as I loved watching the under-appreciated Bronson Pinchot ham it up week after week—the guy should have been indicted for grand larceny after stealing scenes from Eddie Murphy in Beverly Hills Cop—I think I would have enjoyed Steve Buscemi in this role even more. If nothing else, I feel like shit would have gotten a little more real.

Buscemi as Mike Brady – The Brady Bunch


The Brady Bunch was actually a pretty risky show when it first aired, given that it strayed from the “wholesome family” sitcom archetype by depicting—gasp!—a blended family. Fortunately, civilization didn’t collapse when widowed architect Mike Brady married divorcee Carol Martin, and The Brady Bunch turned out to be just as trite and saccharine as just about any family sitcom that had come before it. Of course, all that would have been different if Steve Buscemi played Mike Brady instead of Robert Reed. Could you imagine if dear old dad sat Greg, Peter, and Bobby down and taught them life lessons like this?

Buscemi as Alex P. Keaton – Family Ties

Oh, the irony (and hilarity) of former hippies having a Reaganite for a son! So many opportunities for comedic situations! But how different would have been the rapport between mom, dad, and son had the latter been played by Steve Buscemi rather than Michael J. Fox. Instead of a run-of-the-mill Young Republican, the Keatons probably would have had a squirrelly libertarian conspiracy theorist on their hands with Buscemi. In fact, I’m pretty sure, Alex P. Keaton would have ended up in a militia instead of Wall Street.

Buscemi as Thomas Magnum – Magnum, P.I.

Tom Selleck wrote the book on manliness in the 1980s. Every women wanted to be with his mustache, and every man wanted to be have his mustache. Moreover, to this day, he’s probably still the only guy who ever looked cool in an Aloha shirt.

In case you’ve forgotten, Magnum, P.I. was an hour-long comedic drama centered around the professional and romantic adventures of debonair ex-Navy SEAL and current private investigator Thomas Magnum. Who lives in a rich guy’s guest house. And gets to use his Ferrari. In Hawaii. (Magnum was obviously a big inspiration to OJ’s pal Kato Kaelin.) For whatever reason, Magnum didn’t really have to work, but he did from time to time, whenever a hot babe would come along with a mystery that needed cracking.

To get a sense of what Magnum, P.I. would have been like with Steve Buscemi playing the title character, all you have to do is have a look at the second and third seasons of 30 Rock. Buscemi guest stars as a private investigator named Lenny Wosniak, who gets around New York on his bicycle and is not allowed to carry a gun by his pastor because he suffers from depression. So Buscemi would have done Magnum a little differently, to say the least.

Buscemi as Barney Fife – The Andy Griffith Show

Television shows don’t get more wholesome than The Andy Griffith Show. Little Mayberry, North Carolina, was a bedrock of real American values back in the 1960s, what with Aunt Bee bakin’ pies, little Opie goin’ fishin’, and Sheriff Andy git’n after moonshiners resolvin’ town conflicts.

Of course, there was also bumbling Sheriff’s Deputy Barney Fife, played by Don Knotts, whose numerous accidental firearms mishaps would surely have gotten him fired (and probably killed several people) if the Mayberry Sheriff’s Department was actually in the business of promoting public safety. Still, if Barney had been played Steve Buscemi, Mayberry would have had a deputy that looked like a pedophile. It’s kind of hard to say which is worse.

Buscemi as Danny Tanner – Full House

Steve Buscemi as Danny Tanner on Full House? Let’s just dive right in.

First of all, if Buscemi played widower Danny Tanner on Full House, depending on makeup and lighting, your first thought might very well have been, “well, he probably killed his wife, right?” If the production crew managed to get his makeup and lighting just right, Buscemi could probably have pulled off “sad and lonely,” but I doubt he could ever do “jolly” like Bob Saget. So there goes the tone of the entire series right there.

Second, no matter what they did with the makeup and lighting, they still would have had to re-write Danny’s character a bit, because there’s no way anyone would ever buy Buscemi as a TV personality. A radio shock jock, sure, but a news anchor? Yeah right.

Third, would people have believed this guy could have such cute kids? I didn’t think so. So if Buscemi was Danny Tanner, they would have had to recast the whole Tanner family. Where would the Olsen twins be today if they had to cast less cute twins to play Michelle Tanner? (Did you just say “a strip club”? Wow, I can’t believe you went there.)

Buscemi as Mr. Rogers – Mr. Rogers Neighborhood

The actual Mr. Rogers was just about the nicest, most gentle guy ever. He taught several generations of children how to be nice and share through the cunning use of hand puppets and make-believe.

Also, he had an awesome collection of cardigans.

So what if Buscemi had charged with instilling morals in our children on Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood? Well, for starters, we’d have a lot of messed up 30 and 40-year-olds walking around today. Instead teaching kids not to litter, he probably would have taught them about the intractable pain of being, or some other topic not suited for youngsters.

Picking five nominees for best drama is an impossible task. Where’s the recognition for the coolest show? The funniest badass? Who is going to recognize the role of drugs in cable dramas? Not the Emmys, that’s for damn sure.

So it falls to us to make the big decisions. Look elsewhere for “Best Actress in a Mini-Series.” We’ve got the awards that matter.

Biggest Buzzkill: Skyler White – Breaking Bad

Unfortunately, this was a very competitive category this season. Ensemble shows have their fair share of badass characters, but for every two great ones, there’s a character that brings the show to a screeching halt with whining, hating, and irrelevant problems.

Over the past few years, no one has garnered more hate for being a complete and total wet blanket than Skyler White, whose problems always seemed about 15 miles away from the rest of the characters on Breaking Bad. Playing the wife of the protagonist is a pretty thankless job. Carmela Soprano and Betty Draper also endured boundless criticism, but their characters seem more complex than Skyler, who lacks the interesting qualities that these other wives had.

Runners Up: Kenneth Purcell, Deb Morgan, Betty Draper

Biggest Badass: Raylan Givens – Justified

Justified isn’t held in quite the same esteem as the AMC shows, or HBO’s. But for a show with more conventional appeal (more procedural elements, more action), it has raised the bar, thanks in large part to Timothy Olyphant’s portrayal of a seething lawman who is cool as a cucumber on the surface.

Givens brings new meaning to the phrase “unflappable,” standing sure in front of a loaded gun, as he seems to be almost every week. He might not be as mean as some of the runners up, but he’s every bit as dangerous.

Runners Up: Khal Drogo Dexter, Mike (Breaking Bad), Sally Draper

Bang For Your Buck: Chalky White – Boardwalk Empire

This was perhaps the most competitive category of 2011, as many ensemble shows had characters that, while not heavily-featured, managed to steal the show every time they were onscreen. Chalky White (played by The Wire’s Omar, Michael Kenneth Williams) is perhaps the transcendent character on the show, a powerful black gangster who remains tiers below his white criminal counterparts.

Basically, just imagine Omar from The Wire except he’s always dressed up like Andre 3000 from Outkast and he’s not banging dudes. When you think of it that way, the choice becomes a no-brainer. Here’s hoping Chalky gets a little more depth and back story in season 2.

Runners-up: Saul Goodman, Andy Dwyer, Peter Dinklage, Tracy Jordan, Tyrion Lannister

We’re reacquainted with most every player in the story, as most of them lived though the first season, but I get the feeling that not everyone is long for this world. This being a cable drama, everyone has their favorite character, and I gotta say that mine is Chalky White. You take Omar from The Wire and dress him up like Andre 3000. Anyone who doesn’t like that can get the hell out of my country.

HBO takes us back to AC on September 25th. Hopefully the painfully deliberate pacing will pay off out of the gate.

And Louis C.K. got nominated!! Which is awesome. I expected a snub. Usually when Jon Hamm plays a middle-aged man sad about where his life ended up, Emmy rushes to him with a tissue, but Louis C.K.’s raw and unflinching worldview normally gets pepper-sprayed. This is great news for television comedy even though Community got snubbed again.

Here’s a list of nominees who will knife fight one another at the Ivy for television’s biggest honor.

Academy of Television Arts & Sciences
63rd Primetime Emmy Award Nominations

BEST DRAMA SERIES
Boardwalk Empire
Dexter
Friday Night Lights
Game of Thrones
Good Wife
Mad Men

BEST COMEDY SERIES
Big Bang Theory
Glee
Modern Family
The Office
30 Rock
Parks and Recreation

BEST DRAMA ACTOR
Timothy Olyphant Justified
Steve Buscemi Boardwalk Empire
Kyle Chandler, Friday Night Lights
Michael C. Hall, Dexter
Jon Hamm, Mad Men
Hugh Laurie, House

BEST DRAMA ACTRESS
Connie Britton, Friday Night Lights
Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife
Kathy Bates, Harry’s Law
Mariska Hargitay, SVU
Mirelle Enos, The Killing
Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men

Best Comedy Actress
Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Laura Linney, The Big C
Melissa McCarthy, Mike & Molly
Martha Plimpton, Raising Hope
Amy Poehler, Parks & Recreation

Best Comedy Actor
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
Matt Leblanc, Episodes
Jim Parsons The Big Bang Theory
Steve Carell, The Office
Johnny Galecki, The Big Bang Theory
Louie C.K., Louie

Outstanding Supporting Actor, Comedy
Chris Colfer, Glee
Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Modern Family
Ed O’Neill, Modern Family
Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family
Ty Burrell, Modern Family
Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men

Outstanding Supporting Actor, Drama
Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones
Josh Charles, The Good Wife
Alan Cumming, The Good Wife
Walton Goggins, Justified
John Slattery, Mad Men
Andre Braugher Men of a Certain Age

Outstanding Supporting Actress, Comedy
Jane Lynch, Glee
Betty White, Hot in Cleveland
Julie Bowen, Modern Family
Sofia Vergara, Modern Family
Kristen Wiig Saturday Night Live
Jane Krakowski, 30 Rock

Outstanding Supporting Actress, Drama
Archie Panjabi, The Good Wife
Kelly Macdonald, Boardwalk Empire
Christine Baranski, The Good Wife
Margo Martindale, Justified
Michelle Forbes, The Killing
Christina Hendricks, Mad Men

Outstanding Miniseries of Movie
Cinema Verite
Downton Abbey
The Kennedys
Mildred Pierce
The Pillars of the Earth
Too Big to Fail

BEST VARIETY SERIES
The Colbert Report
Conan
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
Real Time with Bill Maher
Saturday Night Live

Outstanding Reality Program
Antiques Roadshow
Undercover Boss

Outstanding Reality- Competition
The Amazing Race
American Idol
So You Think You Can Dance
Top Chef

6 photosRoxanne McKee

Winter doesn’t say anything about the greatest character on the show, Chalky White (played by Michael Kenneth Williams). Gee, you think you might want to highlight a character that is as cool as Omar from “The Wire” but dresses like Andre 3000? you think people wanna hear about that guy, genius?

Sorry to get so salty. I just love Chalky White.

When I was a young man, seeing a topless scene on TV was all but impossible, aside from the occasional native woman on PBS. But thankfully, things have changed. Now, anyone who isn’t too poor to afford premium cable can easily watch some tig ol’ bitties whenever the mood strikes. What an age we live in.

The following 15 scenes are all from HBO’s lineup. We tried to spread it around to include several different shows, which is why five of your favorite girls from “Entourage” or”True Blood” probably didn’t make the cut. Sorry, but that’s life. Besides, at the end of the day, you’re still looking at naked breasts.

Also, in case you didn’t guess, all the links to video are NSFW.

15. Kristin Proctor – “The Wire”

In season two of “The Wire,” Kristin Proctor has a very brief, yet very memorable role as the girlfriend of Nick Sobotka. To be honest, I don’t remember much of her dialogue. But I do remember this amazing and somewhat pointless topless scene.

Click Here For Video

14. Rebecca Creskoff -”Hung“

HBO’s “Hung” doesn’t get the same amount of buzz that other shows on the network seem to get. But based entirely on this picture or Rebecca Creskoff naked, I’m going to give the show another chance.

Click Here For Video

13. Katy Mixon (Body Double) – “East Bound and Down”

Katy Mixon plays April Buchanon, the buxom brunette elementary school teacher who steals Kenny Powers’ heart. Speaking of stealing, if I didn’t know any better, I’d swear she was shoplifting melons. Unfortunately, we don’t get to see said melons, as she uses a body double. But whoever they hired did a really, really good job.

Click Here For Video

12. Claire Van Der Boom -”The Pacific“

“The Pacific” isn’t exactly your go-to series for topless scenes. However, I felt the need to include it. Why? Because without the few glimpses of nudity the series provided, it might have been the most depressing show in history. Thank God for tits. Also, there were a few other topless scenes that might have been better, but this actress’ last name is “Van Der Boom,” and that goes a long way in my book.

Click Here For Video

11. Polly Walker – “Rome”

You can’t do a show about ancient Rome without showing some skin. Well, you can, but nobody wants to watch an hour-long show about Cato the Younger’s wacky senatorial adventures. That’s where Polly Walker (Atia) comes in. Her breasts have more screen time than Lepidus, and he was in The Second Triumvirate! Ugh, you don’t care, do you? Fine, just look at the titties.

Click Here For Video

The DGA Awards bestowed top honors to King’s Speech director Tom Hooper and “Boardwalk Empire” director Martin Scorsese. The ceremony was hosted by Carl Reiner and was probably really, really exciting.

SAG winners include The King’s Speech for Best Picture, Colin Firth for Best Film Actor, Natalie Portman for Best Film Actress, Steve Buscemi for Best Actor in a Television Drama, and Betty White for Best Actress in a Comedy Series That Nobody Watches. The ceremony also honored Ernest Borgnine with a Lifetime Achievement award and it was probably really, really exciting.

Full list of winners:

2011 DGA Award Winners

OUTSTANDING DIRECTORIAL ACHIEVEMENT IN FEATURE FILM

Tom Hooper, The King’s Speech (The Weinstein Co.)

MOVIES FOR TELEVISION AND MINI-SERIES

Mick Jackson, Temple Grandin (HBO)

DRAMA SERIES

Martin Scorsese, Boardwalk Empire (HBO)

COMEDY SERIES

Michael Spiller, Modern Family (ABC)

DOCUMENTARY

Charles Ferguson, Inside job (Representational Pictures, Sony Pictures Classics)

MUSICAL VARIETY

Glenn Weiss, 64th Annual Tony Awards (CBS)

DAYTIME SERIALS

Larry Carpenter, One Life to Live, “Episode #10,687″

REALITY PROGRAMS

Eytan Keller, The Next Iron Chef, “Episode #301″ (Food Network)

COMMERCIALS

Stacy Wall (Imperial Woodpecker)

CHILDREN’S PROGRAMS

Eric Bross, The Boy Who Cried Werewolf (Nickelodeon)

2011 SAG Award Winners

MOVIES

Outstanding Performance by a Cast in a Motion Picture
The King’s Speech

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Leading Role
Colin Firth, The King’s Speech

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Leading Role
Natalie Portman, Black Swan

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Supporting Role
Christian Bale, The Fighter

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Supporting Role
Melissa Leo, The Fighter

Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Drama Series
Boardwalk Empire

Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Comedy Series
Modern Family

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Drama Series
Steve Buscemi, Boardwalk Empire

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Comedy Series
Betty White, Hot in Cleveland

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Television Movie or Miniseries
Al Pacino, You Don’t Know Jack

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Television Movie or Miniseries
Claire Danes, Temple Grandin

Screen Actors Guild Awards 47th Annual Life Achievement Award
Ernest Borgnine

Fans of “Boardwalk Empire” rejoice. Your favorite facially-deformed Prohibition-era anti-hero is returning as a regular character for season two.

Jack Huston, who plays hit-man Richard Harrow, has signed on as a full-time cast member. His character only appeared in five episodes last season, yet still managed to steal the show. As it turns out, Huston is the grandson of famed director John Huston, and the nephew of actress Angelica Huston. Looking back, the resemblance is uncanny. You can really see it in his eye.

Sorry.

When you hear the name Dabney Coleman, what images spring to mind? If your answer is “the image of a question mark,” you’re an imbecile who’s managed to go through life without recognizing one of the greatest actors in the history of the craft. Since the early 60’s, Coleman has been out there busting his ass right along side some of the biggest names in the business. And at the age of 78, he’s still going strong with his latest role on the critically acclaimed HBO drama, “Boardwalk Empire.” While he doesn’t often get the recognition of your big-name stars like Dan Hedaya and James Rebhorn, he deserves just as much, if not more. So slap on your brain condoms, because you’re about to get mind-f**ked with knowledge about acting great Dabney Coleman.

Dabney Coleman Worked with Alfred Hitchcock, Steve McQueen and Elvis Presley

If you were skeptical about my claim that Dabney Coleman is awesome, this should put your hesitation to rest. After all, you can judge a man by the company he keeps, and Mr. Coleman keeps some very good company. He’s worked with Alfred Hitchcock (“The Alfred Hitchcock Hour”) Elvis Presley (The Trouble with Girls) and Steve McQueen (The Towering Inferno). How many people can say that? Add Robert Redford (Downhill Racer), Gene Hackman (Bite the Bullet), Henry Fonda (On Golden Pond) and John Stamos (How to Marry a Billionaire: A Christmas Tale) to that list and tell me this guy isn’t good. You can’t!

Dabney Coleman Worked with the Muppets

I guess working with Steve f**king McQueen wasn’t good enough for you? Well how about Fozzie f**king Bear? Perhaps you’ve also heard of his friend, Kermit T. Frog? I thought so.

Dabney Coleman played a con-artist in The Muppets Take Manhattan, and if the producers of the next Muppet film are smart, they’ll ask him back. After all, if a man can look that intense while acting along side a fake chicken, you know he’s not screwing around.

Dabney Coleman’s in the Second Funniest Movie of All Time

According to the American Film Institute, Tootsie is the second greatest American comedy of all time. I can’t begin to tell you how much I disagree with that ranking. After all, the fact that Dabney Coleman is in the film should push it to number one.

Dabney Coleman’s Mustache Does Not Make Him Look Like a Child Molester

A mustache without a beard or goatee to back it up often comes off as creepy. In fact, nine times out of ten, a guy with a mustache can end up looking like a child molester, or even worse, a hipster. But not Dabney Coleman. He looks so awesome in his mustache that it’s hard to imagine him without it. In fact, rather than giving off the child-molester vibe, Coleman’s ‘stache probably gets him all kinds of attention from the ladies. Which brings me to my next point.

Dabney Coleman Touched Dolly Parton’s Tits with His Face

Coleman had a major role  in the comedy classic, Nine to Five (1980). The film was a hit, thanks in no small part to Coleman’s portrayal of a smarmy, misogynistic boss named Franklin M. Hart Jr. And while the film itself is impressive, what’s even more impressive is the fact that, as the picture above clearly demonstrates, Coleman had the opportunity to touch Dolly Patron’s tits. Keep in mind, this was the early 80’s, before every girl who got touched by her uncle could run out and get implants. If you wanted ridiculously huge breasts, your options were basically limited to Dolly Parton and Elvira, which makes Coleman’s achievement all the more admirable. Way to go, Dabney.

Dabney Coleman Starred in War Games

When it comes to classic Cold War thrillers, you can’t get much better than War Games. And while you probably remember Matthew Broderick stealing the show, it was Dabney Coleman who held that film together. In fact, by the end of production, I bet Coleman’s back hurt from carrying Broderick on it the entire shoot. Screw you, Ferris!

Dabney Coleman’s Literally Too Good at Acting Like a Jerk

In 1983, Dabney Coleman landed a role in “Buffalo Bill,” a show about an egotistical television host. The problem for the show was that Coleman was just too good at playing an asshole character, and audiences didn’t know how to react. Despite the positive reception by critics, the show never found an audience. However, it is considered groundbreaking for its time, and former NBC president Brandon Tartikoff claims that canceling it was his biggest professional regret.

At any rate, please enjoy this totally unrelated clip of Dabney Coleman playing a racist jerk in the film Black Fist.

Two Words: “Drexell’s Class”

This short-lived sitcom aired on Fox between 1991 and 1992. It told the story of a crooked corporate executive who takes a job as a teacher to avoid jail time. Personally, I think the show would have been a huge success if it had stuck with its original title, “Shut Up, Kids!”

Two More Words: Cloak and Dagger

Well, if you count “and,” that’s three words. Who cares! In this classic 80′s kids movie, Coleman plays two roles: a mild mannered dad and an imaginary secret agent named Jack Flack. I’m sure if I watched it now it wouldn’t hold up, but when I was five, it was badass!

Dabney Coleman Made This Awesome Car Chase from Short Time

Coleman must have picked up something while working with Steve McQueen, because this car chase is right up there with the movie Bullitt. In the film, Coleman plays a cop who thinks he is dying, and wants to get killed in the line of duty so his family will get the insurance money. Hilarity ensues.

Dabney Coleman’s Too Good for Law School

In case you hadn’t noticed, Dabney Coleman is one smart mofo. He actually studied law at the University of Texas before realizing that law school is for assholes and moving on to acting. In all fairness, acting is for assholes, too, but Dabney Coleman is the exception.

Dabney Coleman’s Awesome in “Boardwalk Empire”

“Boardwalk Empire” was one of the best new shows of 2010, and it’s coming back for a second season. The show’s popularity can be attributed to its shrewd use of “The Three D’s:” Death, Dames and Dabney Coleman. Any show can throw a bunch of topless girls and mindless violence on the screen, but when you throw Dabney into the mix, it morphs from cheap pulp fiction into a powerful drama. And after his impressive role as Commodore Louis Kaestner, perhaps an Emmy is in the 78-year old’s future. And if not, so what. Dabney Coleman doesn’t need your piece of sh*t statue.

A word from Mol: “It’s not like I have a master plan or anything.”

Where the roaring 1920s lights of a F. Scott Fitzgerald novel meet with the violent crime sagas of a Scorsese classic, this what you can find in the fast-paced and explosive new gangster series “Boardwalk Empire.”

On the eve of 1920 with his pockets full of cash and liquor in a high demand due to prohibition, Enoch ‘Nucky’ Thompson (played with tough talk and weak posture by Steve Buscemi) is at the top of his game as the Treasurer over the swinging and swindling lights of Atlantic City. Thompson has everything in place to create Atlantic City as the speakeasy capital of the world but as high stakes prove he has a lot more coming this way as the infamous decade will come of age in gangster warfare, political upheaval, and a crash and burn economy.

More after the jump…

Yet that all comes about in several years time, so let’s relish in the atmosphere and the gleaming red hot allusion to infamous characters that director Martin Scorsese and “The Sopranos” writer Terence Winter paint for this series that blurs the lines between television narrative and feature films like never before.

The canvass presented here is full of Scorsese moments from long and majestic tracking shots through the gin joints, back rooms, and vaudevillian sidewalk entertainment to the freeze frames, smash cuts, and explosive moments of violence. Additional to these auteur signatures, Scorsese seems to be quite at home at being able to play with homages to his musical ragtime library and iconic screen images of the Keystone cops and Fatty Arbuckle shorts from the 20s, something that feature film Scorsese is limited to do.

While TV’s series pilots are difficult to pull all together, “Empire” has a canvass that can’t contain every character in one episode. The few characters we get to meet during the pilot besides Nucky are your standard characters in the gangster movie encyclopedia. From Nucky’s questionably loyal right hand man Jimmy Darmody (Michael Pitt in his best and most likable performance to date), gangster rivals Arnold Rothstein (Michael Stuhlbarg from A Serious Man) and a young Al Capone (Stephen Graham), abused Irish wife and possible love interest, Margret Schroeder (Kelly MacDonald, the saintly angel of Trainspotting and No Country For Old Men) and FBI spooks hiding in their fedoras (Michael Shannon with his signature stiff neck and twisted grin).

The rest of the all-star character actor cast that will be coming in the following episodes are seen only in passing. For example, Michael K. Williams of “The Wire” is given only one brief look as Chalky White, a man left waiting for a long time in Nucky’s office to discuss some certain business.

If anything, this pilot episode suffers from the sense of crime movie déjà vu. The climax has your typical juxtaposition of several mob hits going on at once, which is there to set up the 12 episode season, but takes away from the combustible color of lights and flurry that has been built in motion for this epic.

All of these elements mixed together go down with a bite, and turn “Boardwalk Empire” into one series that is primed to explode on your TV this coming fall season.

Grade: A-

_{"Who the hell are you to tell me what to do?"}

HBO has released a behind the scenes look at their highly anticipated new drama "Boardwalk Empire." The show is executive produced by Terence Winter ("The Sopranos") and Martin Scorsese, who also directed the pilot. Steve Buscemi plays the undisputed ruler of Atlantic City  and town Treasurer, Enoch “Nucky” Thompson, who is described as “a political fixer and backroom dealer who is equal parts politician and gangster and equally comfortable in either role.”

Cutting to the chase, it’s going to be some old school gangsta sh*t from the mind of a "Soprano’s" writer and Scorsese. We’ve all been waiting for the next compelling drama from HBO (if you’re a girl, I know you think that’s "True Blood," but it isn’t), and I have no doubt that "Boardwalk Empire" will make our Sunday nights a little less depressing. Then the next morning you can go int the office and give your boss the high hat and Charleston your way out of that joint.  

Check out the featurette after the jump…

(/Film)

HBO’s New "Boardwalk Empire" trailer is like an all-star lineup of prohibition-era gangsters. "Lucky" Luciano, Arnold "The Brain" Rothstein, "Papa Johnny" Torrio, "Big Jim" Colosimo, and even a still small-time "Scarface Al" Capone all make an appearance in this epic new series.

Staring Steve Buscemi as a corrupt Atlantic City Councilman, the Martin Scorsese directed project chronicles the rise of bootlegging during the early 1920′s.

While the trailer looks awesome, I couldn’t help but notice the absence of noted gangster Moe Greene. This was a great man, a man of vision and guts. And there isn’t even a plaque, or a signpost or a statue of him in that town! (Movie Line)

Watch the new "Boardwalk Empire" trailer after the jump…

HBO’s Martin Scorsese-produced, Terence Winter-created Steve Buscemi as a bad ass gangsta Prohibition drama series will debut Sunday, September 19 at 9PM. Buscemi plays "the undisputed ruler of Atlantic City and town Treasurer, Enoch “Nucky” Thompson, who is described as “a political fixer and backroom dealer who is equal parts politician and gangster and equally comfortable in either role." Check out the trailer here. I’ve already set a series recording on my DVR.

We’ve seen the teaser and the first trailer for HBO’s "Boardwalk Empire," and now there’s a new trailer that is by far the most gangsta. The show, created by "The Soprano’s" writer Terence Winter and exec produced by Martin Scorsese, who also directed the pilot, looks like "The Soprano’s" but with fedoras, speakeasies, and hot lather barbershop shaves.

Steve Buscemi is the new Tony Soprano, so we’re trading in a weight problem for a dental one, but he appears just as menacing and short-tempered as the wheezing Mafia boss. He plays "the undisputed ruler of Atlantic City and town Treasurer, Enoch “Nucky” Thompson, who is described as “a political fixer and backroom dealer who is equal parts politician and gangster and equally comfortable in either role." Get ready for "Boardwalk Empire" to come at you like gangbusters this fall on HBO. And for God’s sake, hide your barrels of bathtub gin. I recommend the bathtub.

Check out the new trailer after the jump.

HBO refuses to falter in its attempts to overtake our Sunday nights. Yesterday we showed you the new trailer for David Simon‘s "Treme" and today we have a longer look at the Terrence Winter and Martin Scorsese period drama "Boardwalk Empire." Set in Prohibition-era Atlantic City, it’s an old timey look at gambling and gangsters starring Steve Buscemi as Nucky Thompson, the real life crime boss who ruled A.C. with an iron fist and distended eyeballs. Think of it as "Deadwood" with running water and Omar from "The Wire."

Have a look at Atlantic City’s glory days before it was claimed by the elderly, after the jump.

Fresh off the teaser for HBO’s series Treme, here’s a tiny glimpse of Boardwalk Empire that’s sure to get you addicted to Sunday night TV programming again. The show was adapted for televison by Terence Winter, an Emmy Award winning writer of The Sopranos, and the pilot was directed by none other than Martin Scorsese. The series chronicles the rise of New Jersey city in the 1920s, focusing specifically on Steve Buscemi’s character Nucky Thompson, who historically ruled the boardwalk and its borders during the time of prohibition. Boardwalk Empire premieres on HBO this Fall.

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Adapted for Television by: Terence Winter

Cast: Steve Buscemi, Gretchen Mol, Michael Shannon, Michael Pitt

Synopsis: Chronicles the rise of the New Jersey city in the 1920s