In this scene, NPH uses his homosexual cover story to lure a backup dancer into his dressing room. And since he’s so non-threatening, what’s the harm in some nude massage? After all, they’re just a couple of girlfriends, right?

At any rate, if you’re anxious to see how this ends (hint: it ends poorly), go and pre-order the Blu-ray. Tell them Jame Gumb sent you, and receive absolutely no discount.

Cheech and Chong

Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong are one of the most famous comedy duos in history. They would probably scoff at being called drug abusers – how can you call it abuse when the relationship is so harmonious, man? – but their status as one of the great drug using duos of all time is unquestionable.

Nick and Nora Charles

Alcohol is a kind of drug, right? And nobody ever drank better than the elegant super-sleuth and his even-more elegant wife in the Thin Man movies from the 1930s and 40s. They don’t get drunk, per se – just tipsy enough to see everything clearly and to keep the banter flowing. The movies’ treatment of what we now refer to as “alcoholism” might not be politically correct by today’s standards, but they’re still the most fun you can have without drinking.

The Blu-Ray looks amazing, crystal clear and colorful. And, I’m aware of how dorky this is, but I was quite happy the loading time on the disc was very low. (I hope I’m not the only one to recognize the leaps and bounds Blu-Ray loading times have made. I remember the first Blu-Ray I bought took forever. And by forever, I mean about 10 seconds. But those are 10 seconds of looking at cat and girl photos on the Internet that I won’t get back!)

It’s not packed to the gills with features, but what it does have is pretty good. “Countdown to the Fight: The Charlie Kenton Story” is sort of a behind-the-music video of Hugh Jackman‘s character from the film. You only need to watch it if you’re an “extra features completist.” Otherwise, you can skip it.

“Making of Metal Valley” is a great feature where you see how they created a large sequence in the film. Director Shawn Levy does most of the talking and explaining as they show how they created Metal Valley, which had no real description in the script (isn’t that something of a screenwriting no-no? And is saying no-no a no-no?) Levy gives a lot of credit to his crew for helping create the film, which is nice to see since Hollywood is full of many egotistical directors (COUGH-Michael Bay-COUGH).

The rest of the features are a nice watch. Sugar Ray Leonard has a five minute segment detailing how he helped Hugh Jackman act like a real boxer. “Building Bots” is a cool behind-the-scenes look at how they created the practical and CGI robots. “Real Steel Second Screen” is a feature where you download an app to your computer or iPad, sync it to the film playing on your TV, and watch more extra features while the film plays. It’s a pretty cool feature and something I hope gets included on more Blu-Rays.

And finishing things out are your standard deleted and extended scnes, bloopers, and audio commentary by Levy, who is a fairly charming and interesting guy.

Overall, it’s a great Blu-Ray, It looks phenomenal, and has some fun features you can enjoy. Also, the film provides you with the fun game of “Who is Hotter: Hugh Jackman or Evangeline Lilly?” Man or woman, it’s a tough game.

The film is directed by Joe Johnston, better known for last summer’s Captain America: The First Avenger. That film’s success probably had more to do with this Blu-ray release than the “20th Anniversary” milestone quoted on the cover. But however it happened, it’s nice to finally get The Rocketeer in high definition.

How does it look? Good, if not great. Certainly the picture is miles above the previous DVD release, but it is still a bit washed out compared to other Blu-ray transfers from the early 90′s. But the sound is excellent; as good as I’ve ever heard the film.

The only real disappointment with this release is that it contains the film, a trailer, and nothing else. I know The Rocketeer wasn’t a huge hit for Disney, but certainly they could have sweetened the package a bit for the die hard fans. Any behind the scenes clips or deleted scenes would have helped make it a better value than the previous DVD, which also featured zero special features. To call it the “20th Anniversary” edition and feature just the trailer is kind of a cruel tease.

Still, how does the film hold up after all these years? It’s still slightly corny, but a lot of fun. By making the movie an earnest slice of pre-WW II nostalgia, Johnston gave it a timeless feel, respectful of it’s comic book roots and engaging to audiences of any age. Hopefully, this release will help expand The Rocketeer’s devoted fan base, and by the time the 30th Anniversary rolls around, we’ll get some extras we can celebrate. The Rocketeer is available in stores now, with a SRP of $26.50.

We have a winner in our Straw Dogs caption contest. The funniest caption gets Straw Dogs on Blu-ray. So, I won’t waste any more time. Thanks to all who entered.

Winner: Jay T. Taggart
“When Jim and Amy said they were putting on a show I didn’t know there was going to be a donkey involved…..”

Gary Hara
“I like your skin complexion; what kind of product do you use?”

Ryan Wells
“I really should’ve worn protection when I had sex with that nun. Now it burns when I pray.”

Jason Richcreek
“if you think that’s cool wait till u see what I do with my dong.”

Michael Roberts
“Colin Farrell… so hot right now… Colin Farrell”

Like its predecessor, Fright Night tells the story of a high school student who is absolutely convinced his creepy new neighbor is a blood thirsty vampire. Deciding to protect his single mom and girlfriend, he teams up with a sleazy Vegas performer (David Tennant) and preps to battle a small army of the undead.

The visuals are slick, and the gore is plentiful, although the high definition tends to let some of the CGI work stand out more than it should. The audio is solid, and pops as you’d expect it to during the action scenes. The two disc combo pack also features a DVD edition of the film. And you can shell out a few more bucks for a 3D edition if that sort of thing floats your boat.

The extras on the disc are varied. You get five deleted scenes, a couple featurettes, bloopers and a music video. The disc also features one of the more unique extras I’ve encountered, in the form of an audio track for the visually impaired. Essentially, the track provides a reader who describes everything happening on screen while not interrupting dialogue. And when I say everything, I mean it. If you ever wanted wanted to hear a vivid description of the Touchstone Entertainment logo, now is your chance.

So is it worth it? Yes, if you enjoy horror with a good mix of comedy. The acting and action sequences are good throughout the film, even if the pace moves a bit quicker than necessary. Although I think Fright Night missed some opportunities to separate itself from the vampire pack, it’s still a step above most recent horror films, and certainly most recent horror remakes. It won’t make any die-hard fans forget the original, but the movie is by no means an embarrassment to the name.

Fright Night is now available in stores, with an SRP of $39.99 for the Blu ray/ DVD combo pack.

You know how it works. Take a look at the pic below, and think of a funny caption. Once you’re finished, post the caption in the comment section below. After a while, I’ll look at your comments and pick my favorite. The funniest caption gets Straw Dogs on Blu-ray.

All entries must be received no later than December 20th, which is also the day Straw Dogs arrives on Blu-ray.

Caption This Pic…

Well, not really. It wasn’t that bad. In fact, it’s an R-rated action film that probably would have been huge in the 90′s, but not in our cynical-10s (is that what it is? 10s? What about O-10s? That’s what I’m going to use. Try to stop me.)

The DVD and Blu-Ray are sparse on extras, but the ones they have are interesting nonetheless. “The Conan Legacy” is a pretty cool 18-minute history of the character that is really well made. The most interesting comment was by one of the film’s producers saying they cast Jason Momoa, and unknown actor, so they wouldn’t have to have someone who would be compared to Arnold Schwarzenegger. That seems slightly odd considering how anyone who would have been cast would have been compared to Arnold. I understand he is trying to find a more finess way of saying, “We cast an unknown because this movie had to be cheap.”

“Robert E. Howard – The Man Who Would Be Conan” is a short look at the man who created the character. It’s a fun watch. But, the two best features are about staging the fights.

“Battle Royal – Engineering the Action” is a look at how the stunt coordinators worked. It gives you a lot of insight into how they get these intricate fights created and ready to shoot. Spoiler Alert! Editing and many angles makes these fights interesting. Seeing the fights actually being created is funny because the actors are barely making contact and are slow. But it’s great to see the creation and final product, which makes “Staging the Fights” even cooler. The filmmakers actually shot many of the fights scenes in pre-production with stunt doubles and referred to these short films when shooting the actual movie. It’s great to see the stunt double version versus the final version.

The final two special features are audio commentaries, one with the director, Marcus Nispel (which breaks the main commentary rule: never only have one person. It’s very boring and very quiet). The other is with Momoa and Rose McGowan, which really should be called “Everything is About Rose McGowan” because she finds a way to make everything about her. Even scenes she isn’t in are somehow about her. The only thing she doesn’t talk about is the amount of plastic surgeons it took to turn her face into a flat, plastic shell of its former self.

I think Conan is worth giving a chance. It’s campy, gory, and has some decent laughs. Also, some nudity. And that’s always good, right? (No. See About Schmidt).

How does it look and sound on Blu-Ray? Superb. The picture is sharp and clear, but not as artificially bright as many Blu-Ray transfers of older films seem to be. The end result reminds you that you are watching something on film, with the rich color textures that film should provide. The sound is very good. On a good sound system, Isabella Rossellini’s song will still stun you, and Dean Stockwell’s song will still make you want to hide under your bed.

The extras are solid, but many of them are reused from the 2005 Special Edition DVD. This includes a documentary, and a clip from Siskel & Ebert‘s original review of the film. The clip is notable as Roger Ebert did not like Blue Velvet, and was vocal about his disdain for it. Gene Siskel defended the film, but it was interesting to see a negative review included in a film’s home video edition, and it demonstrates the confidence Lynch has in his work.

The main draw in the extras is a whopping 50 minutes of lost footage that has been restored, edited and scored for this package. The footage is fascinating. You can see why it was left out of the movie, but any fan Blue Velvet or Lynch will still want to soak it in. The extra scenes are presented out of context, one after another, which still makes them more coherent than about half of Lynch’s other films.

Blue Velvet’s 25th Anniversary Blu-Ray is released Tuesday, November 8th, with a SRP on 24.99. It’s worth upgrading for the new picture, and certainly for the newly released footage.

The film was released today on Blu-ray DVD in the Jurassic Park Trilogy Box Set. Now, the second and third films aren’t as beloved as the first, so some of you might be hesitant to purchase the entire series. But you shouldn’t be. The first film is worth that money alone. And come on, the second film isn’t as bad as you remember (since Jeff Goldblum is awesome and insane). The third film is… never mind.

So, what are you getting with this blu-ray? You’re getting the best possible picture for these films. It’s crisp, colorful, and gorgeous. The sound is as amazing as if you were in a theater, and if you have 7.1 surround sound, you’ll enjoy it even more.

Wit the box set, you’re also getting all the extras from the DVD releases plus a great six-part documentary about the making of the trilogy. It clocks in at just over two hours and it’s worth watching every minute. The first film gets three parts. You get to see the original stop-motion dinosaur animation, and thank God they went digital (though hearing the animators talk about it is pretty sad.) All the actors are back, and they are a pleasure to listen to (especially Jeff Goldblum…again, awesome and insane). And of course, hearing Steven Spielberg talk about making movies is about as entertaining as his movies.

The second film has two parts, which are more of the same, but still highly interesting for Jurassic Park fans. And then the third film gets one part, and it starts with talking about the Jurassic Park ride, which is sort of funny if you think about it. But, give it a watch anyway. William H. Macy is cool and he talks a lot.

The trilogy is released today with an SRP of $79.98, but many retailers are selling it for much less. In my opinion, this is definitely one you need in your Blu-ray collection.

Jackie Brown was released on Blu-ray on October 4th, with an SRP of $19.99. Although it’s the black sheep of the Tarantino film family, hopefully it will get its due with this excellent Blu-ray release.

At any rate, let’s take a look at the winning caption.

“When life gives you a gag… mmffmm mum mmm”.

Once again, congrats to Chris Ahrens.

The real question is, is it worth the upgrade to Blu-ray? Absolutely. The sound is crisp and engaging (listen to all the nearby chatter during the diner climax), and the picture is clearer than I can ever remember (including poor Marvin’s brains). In fact, the picture is so crisp that you can clearly see Bruce Willis‘ penis when he gets out of the shower. I’d much rather have seen what was in the briefcase.

The extras include most of what was featured on the Collector’s Edition DVD, but with two notable additions. There is a new retrospective featuring the films cast, including John Travolta, Samuel L. Jackson, Tim Roth and more. They offer some trivia about working with Tarantino before he was a major player, and other neat tid-bits. The other new feature is a film-critic round table discussion of the film, featuring Elvis Mitchell and others. It’s a fun bull session to listen to if you’re a fan of the film.

Pulp Fiction is released on Blu-Ray Tuesday October 4th, with a SRP of $19.99. Highly recommended for the picture and sound upgrades alone, as well as a great catalog of extras.

And as the angry mob desperately searches for a scapegoat, the natural choice is George Lucas. After all, he’s the one responsible for these idiotic changes, is he not?

But when we step back from the situation, the answer is not so simple. While Lucas may have absolute power at Skywalker Ranch, he is not acting alone. Like Hitler, Stalin, and Mao before him, Lucas would not be able to carry out his psychotic urges without the help and complicity of the masses. Just as Emperor Palpatine had Grand Moff Tarkin and an army of clones, Lucas has legions of employees ready to do his bidding and millions of fans willing to fund his evil endeavors. In the end, they are just as guilty as Lucas himself.

When Lucas got the bright idea to add the infamous “noooooooo” scream to the climax of Return of the Jedi, it’s not as if he powered up his MacBook Pro and dropped it in. He has dozens, if not hundreds of individuals carrying out these alterations. As with all dictatorships, the grunts on the ground can always fall back on the “I was only following orders” defense. But in this case, it only goes so far.

Yeah, we know. Now shut the hell up.

It’s safe to assume that these people went to work for Lucas in the first place because they are Star Wars fans, and hardcore fans at that. I can’t imagine someone who has never seen Empire Strikes Back would randomly apply to work as a special effects tech at ILM or Lucas Film. If anything, the films inspired them to pursue their careers. As such, they too must have been horrified by the idea of taking laughable audio from the prequels and placing it in the original trilogy, or making Greedo shoot first. But at the end of the day, did anyone stand up and say “this is a bad idea?” I doubt it. To paraphrase a term made famous by noted asshole Ward Churchill, these “little Tarkins” are never called into question. But ultimately, they are the ones directly responsible for shitting on the original trilogy.

Of course, as with all things in life, money talks, and bullshit walks. If someone drove an AT-AT Walker full of cash over to my house and told me to photoshop a picture of Han Solo blowing Greedo, I’d be more than happy to comply. With that in mind, I can’t really fault the people at ILM for being sellouts. Besides, where does Lucas get his unlimited supply of cash with which to pay his army of clones? That’s right; from assholes like you and me who shell out our money on Star Wars related crap. If the fans wouldn’t pay for these altered films, Lucas wouldn’t be making them. But we do, time after time after time.

So the next time you go to bitch about what an idiot George Lucas is, remember that we’re all complicit in this ongoing atrocity. Then again, as the old saying goes, if everyone is guilty, no one is, so maybe it is better if we just blame George.

Screw you, beardo! Han shot first!

Arbitrary Dialogue Changes Too Numerous to Count

One thing Lucas loves to do every time he edits Star Wars is to change dialogue in seemingly arbitrary ways. It’s not really clear why “Blast it, Wedge, where are you?” gets changed to “Blast it, Biggs, where are you?,” nor what difference having C-3PO say “and” before “do take care of yourself” makes, but apparently it’s a big deal to George.

Title Changes

Back in the day, Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope was known simply as “Star Wars.” Of course, back in the day, Star Wars was just a fun movie to watch and an excuse to use Whiffle bats as light sabres. Somewhere along the line George Lucas started seeing his work as some kind of socially relevant epic. Accordingly, he not only started giving the films incredibly pretentious names, he actually went back and changed the titles of previously released films.

Greedo Shoots First

This was the irritating change for nearly a decade. Somewhere along the line, Lucas decided that Han Solo was a noble knight instead of a charming rake. Accordingly, he couldn’t dare shoot first at a bounty hunter trying to claim him for a disgusting space worm. This change isn’t minor or insignificant. It completely alters the character of Han Solo. Why not have him tell Leia “I love you, too” while we’re at it?

But my mediocre existence fits right in with the mediocre crop of new DVD’s being released today. I hope you like Source Code and Todd Solondz, otherwise, you’re going to have to settle for a trip in the way-back machine to a time when Animal House and Blues Brothers were still fresh and new. See for yourself in this week’s DVD Rundown!

New Releases

Source Code	Life During Wartime	Trust	Dylan Dog

Animal House	Blues Brothers	Dante’s Peak	Jersey Shore (S:3)

And you too shall rejoice, for Hey Dude Season 1 is now available on DVD. If you prefer something a little more “urban,” Boyz ‘n the Hood is also available, as is everyone’s favorite sickeningly sweet French film, Amélie. There’s literally something for everyone, or at least everyone with a DVD player and disposable income. With that in mind, here’s this week’s DVD Rundown!

New Releases

Limitless	Boyz n the Hood	Amélie	Bridget Jones Diary

Television

Dr. Who (S:6)	Hey Dude (S:1)	The Girls Next Door (S:6)	Melrose Place (S:6 V:2)

Well, that was an easy question, wasn’t it?

With that in mind, and in honor of the release of Boyz n the Hood on Blu-ray DVD, we present to you 9 of the most ruthless gangsters of the silver screen.

For more Sony “Action Unleashed” DVDs, click here.

Gangster 55 – Gangster No. 1 (2000)

How “gangster” is the main character from Gangster No. 1. He’s so gangster that he doesn’t even have a name. IMDB simply lists him as “Gangster 55.” Of course, what’s in a name? I can call myself the king of Spain, but that doesn’t make it so. However, this character more than lives up to his title, dishing out one of the most brutal beat downs in cinema history, and cutting his rival’s girlfriend’s throat without a second thought.

O-Dog – Menace II Society (1993)

Killing a rival gang member in a turf war is cold, but at the same time, it’s part of the game. Shooting a simple convenience store owner and his wife because he mentions your mother; that’s pretty damn ruthless. As such, O-Dog earned a place on this list.

Doughboy – Boyz n the Hood (1991)

When their friend Ricky is gunned down by gangbangers, both Doughboy and Tré vow to avenge his death. But when push comes to shove, only Doughboy has the ruthless nature necessary to carry out the act. Of course, that same willingness to kill made him a target, and two weeks later he was gunned down in a reprisal shooting, so maybe violence isn’t the answer after all. Just kidding. Kill or be killed, bitch.

Frank Lucas – American Gangster (2007)

Like Gangster No. 1, American Gangster has “gangster” in the title, which almost guarantees the film’s protagonist, Frank Lucas, a spot on the list. Well, even without the name, the film begins with Lucas burning and shooting a man to death, and goes down hill from there, leaving no doubt to his ruthless nature.

Ellsworth “Bumpy” Johnson – Hoodlum (1997)

Hoodlum is far from the best movie on the list, but there’s no questioning Bumpy Johnson’s ruthlessness. After all, Johnson was Frank Lucas’s mentor. And if Frank Lucas learned how to be a sociopath from you, you’re definitely not afraid to get your hands dirty.

Marcellus Wallace – Pulp Fiction (1994)

Does Marcellus Wallace look like a bitch? Well, in the picture above, he probably does, considering he’s about to get rapped by two deviant hillbillies. But Wallace manages to survive the ordeal, and ruthlessly shoots his attacker in the crotch with a shotgun. He then goes the extra mile, keeping the man alive in order to have him tortured with a pair of pliers and a blowtorch. On a list about ruthless gangsters, it takes that type of creativity to get noticed.

Li’l Zé – City of God (2002)

How ruthless is Li’l Zé? As a child, even before his rise to power in the slums of Rio, he was responsible for a mass murder at a local motel. To make matters worse, the killings served no purpose, aside from Li’l Zé’s personal amusement. If you’re killing for fun while most kids your age are out playing soccer, you’ve earned a spot on this list.

Nino Brown – New Jack City (1991)

With Nino Brown, “It’s always business. Never personal.” This mantra allows him to carry out some truly ruthless acts, like killing an innocent woman as part of his gang initiation. But in the end, business becomes personal, as Brown is gunned down by an outraged member of the community who takes the law into his own hands.

Tony Montana – Scarface (1983)

Guns, chainsaws, car bombs: Tony Montana uses ever weapon available to control his drug empire. But what sets him apart from the rest is his willingness to kill his best friend and right-hand man after discovering he had been sleeping with his sister behind his back. Tony didn’t even wait around long enough to find out that the two were in love and planned to marry. Whoops!

New Releases

Gnomeo and Juliet	I Am Number Four	Burning Palms	The Big Bang

Classics

The Great Dictator	Papillon	Platoon	Solaris
Gods and Generals	Gettysburg	Grand Prix

Television

Childrens Hospital	Transformers: The Complete Series	IRT: Deadliest Roads

New Releases

The Mechanic	The Rite	The Other Woman	The Roommate

Classics

Beverly Hills Cop	Diabolique	Pale Flower	The Hustler

Television

Twilight Zone: Season 4	Tim and Eric: Season 5	Royal Pains: Season 2	Bionic Woman: Season 2

Documentary/Concert/Event

ESPN: 30 for 30 Collection	Search for the Great Sharks	The Revealing Science of God	I Want Your Money

New Releases

Blue Valentine

No Strings Attached

The Illusionist

I Saw the Devil

Justin Bieber: Never Say Never (May 13th)

Classics

Something Wild (Criterion)	Some Like It Hot	The Misfits	Top Gun: 25th Anniversary Edition
Alien	Aliens	Alien 3	Alien Resurrection

Television

Home Improvement: 20th Ann.

Straight to Video

Cougars, Inc.

Concert/Event

Wrestlemania XXVII

So how involved was “Prequel Era” George Lucas in Star Tours 2.0? Disney Imagineers had to put their proposed story and new pilot character Ace into the garbage compactor when they “decided to take the story in a very different direction” after having “discussions with George Lucas.” Uh oh. Also, get ready to visit the beloved Geonosians and Naboo citizens! We can only hope Jar Jar makes a long, insufferable cameo.

However, it’s not all bad news. We understand C3PO will be the new pilot. Also, your ship gets chased by Boba Fett, and a hologram of Admiral Ackbar appears at one point — to exclaim something about “traps,” we presume.

In other Star Wars news, the complete Blu-Ray collection of all 6 movies comes out on September 27th for $139.99. The set includes top picture quality and 30 hours of bonus features. Unfortunately, it doesn’t matter how good the picture looks if what I’m watching is Han not shooting first. (/Film)

Frankly, I can see why they cut the scenes. While the extended footage paints a bleak picture of Earth’s future, it’s still preferable to the brutal world of Pandora. After all, the people of future Earth look miserable, but at least they’re wearing pants and have neon signs. That’s much better than running around the jungle naked like some blue savage, trying to talk to trees. (Collider)

Catch a glimpse of Earth’s crappy future after the jump…

Th KNOWING & PUSH Blu-Ray Contest Has Ended.  @agenttrav and @thyndman4are the winners!  Please direct tweet us or hit us up at feedback_at_screenjunkies_dot_com to arrange shipment!  CONGRATS!!

Summit Entertainment just released two of this year’s notable sci-fi flicks on DVD and Blu-Ray, and Screenjunkies has copies of both films (on Blu-Ray, of course, we’re not savages).  

Sure, you could buy Knowing here and Push here, but since free is better than not – even with Amazon’s discounts – we’re giving away two copies of each film for nuttin’ (and nuttin’ means we pay the postage, too). 

Find out how to get the goods after the jump.

All you have to do is retweet this story by midnight L.A. time tonight (7/7).  We’ll choose two lucky Tweeters at random, and they’ll receive one Blu-Ray copy of each film. 

Good luck, and happy retweeting. 

To be eligible to win, you must retweet the post by midnight California time tonight. We’ll send these anywhere mail is delivered, you don’t have to be in the United States.

The KNOWING & PUSH Blu-Ray Contest Has Ended.  @agenttrav and @thyndman4are the winners!  Please direct tweet us or hit us up at feedback_at_screenjunkies_dot_com to arrange shipment!  CONGRATS!!