Black Swan writer Mark Heyman is tapping into this fear in his new script XOXO. Currently shopping around town with Darren Aronofsky having accepted the friend request to produce, story centers on “a twentysomething man who meets a female contemporary on Facebook and begins a digital relationship with her, only to find the object of his affections take the relationship to an obsessed and stalker-y place.” So, like Swimfan but newer. (24 Frames)

Best Movie
Black Swan
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1
Inception
The Social Network
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

Best Comedic Performance
Adam Sandler — Just Go With It
Ashton Kutcher — No Strings Attached
Emma Stone — Easy A
Russell Brand — Get Him to the Greek
Zach Galifianakis — Due Date

Best Jaw-Dropping Moment
James Franco — 127 Hours, Cuts Off His Arm
Justin Bieber — Justin Bieber: Never Say Never, Performance Spectacular
Leonardo DiCaprio and Ellen Page — Inception, Paris Café Scene
Natalie Portman — Black Swan, Mutilation: Pulls The Skin Off Her Finger
Steve-O — Jackass 3D, Port-A-Potty Bungee Stunt

Best Female Performance
Emma Stone (Easy A)
Emma Watson (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows — Part 1)
Jennifer Aniston (Just Go With It)
Kristen Stewart (The Twilight Saga: Eclipse)
Natalie Portman (Black Swan)

Best Male Performance
Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows — Part 1)
Jesse Eisenberg (The Social Network)
Robert Pattinson (The Twilight Saga: Eclipse)
Taylor Lautner (The Twilight Saga: Eclipse)
Zac Efron (Charlie St. Cloud)

Best Kiss
Ellen Page and Joseph Gordon-Levitt — Inception
Emma Watson and Daniel Radcliffe — Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1
Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson — The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner — The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis — Black Swan

The six other categories can be seen at MTV’s website and meditated upon. Commit them to memory so you can take part in The Great Conversation. (MovieLine)

In a defense statement, he had his editor go through the film to analyze each shot featuring Portman with ants in her pants.

“111 are Natalie Portman untouched. 28 are her dance double Sarah Lane. If you do the math that’s 80% Natalie Portman. What about duration? The shots that feature the double are wide shots and rarely play for longer than one second. There are two complicated longer dance sequences that we used face replacement. Even so, if we were judging by time over 90% would be Natalie Portman I am responding to this to put this to rest and to defend my actor. Natalie sweated long and hard to deliver a great physical and emotional performance. And I don’t want anyone to think that’s not her they are watching. It is.”

This calls into question the reports from earlier today that Portman used a butt double on Your Highness. Will David Gordon Green step in to defend Portman’s turd-cutter? If not, I’d say we need to get Portman and the alleged butt double in here for a comparison. While we wait, I’ll close the blinds and make sure we’ve got all the supplies needed for a spank test. (EW)

According to Portman’s husband, Black Swan choreographer Benjamin Millepied (who’s also the father of that baby she’s so into carrying around these days), “85% of that movie is Natalie.” It’s probably unwise to think a husband is an entirely unbiased source for information on his wife. If Millepied didn’t say nice things about her in public, Portman might high-kick him in the face when he got home. Of course, Portman’s body double Sarah Lane says she probably could not do that.

In a recent interview, Lane put the “Natalie Portman is actually dancing in this shot” ratio at 5%. Yikes. Lane does admit that all the close-up shots of Portman stiffly holding her hand up in the air while looking pensive were 100% Natalie. How kind. She goes on:

They wanted to create this idea in people’s minds that Natalie was some kind of prodigy or so gifted in dance and really worked so hard to make herself a ballerina in a year and a half for the movie, basically because of the Oscar…It is demeaning to the profession and not just to me. I’ve been doing this for 22 years…. Can you become a concert pianist in a year and a half, even if you’re a movie star?

Like Portman’s husband, I’m not entirely sure we can completely trust the word of a girl who wasn’t thanked in any Oscar speeches lately. However, a special effects demo reel did show full body dancing scenes where Portman’s head was painted onto Lane’s body. Could it be that Portman’s dancing prowess has been greatly exaggerated? Or are these the bitter words of an overlooked artist, upset that a lifetime of ballet doesn’t lead to parts in great movies like”No Strings Attached?”

I guess all that stuff in Darren Aronofsky’s movie about ballerinas being super competitive and kinda bitchy is true. Does that mean these girls often imagine themselves turning into birds, too? I hope so. That’d be awesome. (Entertainment Weekly)

Best Feature: Black Swan

Best Female Lead: Natalie Portman, Black Swan

Best Male Lead: James Franco, 127 Hours

Best Supporting Female: Dale Dickey, Winter’s Bone

Best Supporting Male: John Hawkes, Winter’s Bone

Best Director: Darren Aronofsky, Black Swan

Interesting stuff — we’ll see if these three movies can do anywhere near as well at the Oscars, given that they have so much more competition. You can get a complete list of all the winners over at IMDb.

This is why I’ve always advocated less-chewy popcorn in movie theaters. That crunching sound can drive some people crazy. How many more people, popcorn makers of the world? How many more people have to die? (via The Hollywood Reporter)

Tuesday morning at the crack of dawn, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announced their list of Oscar nominees, forcing West Coast film biz journos such as myself to hole up in seedy Palm Desert motels smoking crystal meth all night with toothless call girls named Charlene so we wouldn’t miss a second of the festivities.  Sure, I could’ve set my alarm to wake up early — or just Tivoed the ceremony to watch it at a less ungodly hour — but I’m a professional who is dedicated to his craft. As I sat there trying to scratch away the imaginary bugs crawling under my skin I dutifully took mental notes. There were a few high profile snubs — Chris Nolan, Julianne Moore and a Funky Bunch-less Marky Mark were left high n’ dry — but no big surprises in the Best Picture category. If there was anything noteworthy about the Best Picture nominees it was that out of the ten, not a single film seemed undeserving.  This was a far cry from last year, when the dearth of good pictures forced the academy to nominate Jim Cameron’s 3D Smurf adventure Avatar and the posthumous straight-to-video release Ernest Goes to Gitmo.  Charlene agreed with my observation, or at least humored me so I ‘d stop screaming, adding that she was going to have a hard time filling out her own Oscar ballot this year. She grabbed the keys to my Honda and headed out the door, leaving me on that dirty mattress to soak in a puddle of my own tweaker sweat and ruminate the Oscar odds for the subject of this week’s column, ballerina thriller Black Swan.

At the very least Darren Aronofsky deserves a lifetime achievement award from the Institute of Cinematic Spankolgists for convincing two of Hollywood’s most boner-inducing young actresses to scissor fight on film. Yet as hot as the idea of Mila Kunis playing Kumbaya on Natalie Portman’s vertical harmonica looks on paper (hell, I’m at half mast just from typing it) — and as eager as my penis and I were to see the scene in question — I must painfully admit that it didn’t quite live up to our expectations. Perhaps my penis and I had built it up a bit too much in our heads, because while the Sapphic pairing was titillating, it still spank-ranks below the lesbian love scenes in Henry and June, Wild Things and Bound. So unfortunately for Darren Aronofsky (and my penis), we must judge Black Swan solely by its artistic virtues.

This is not to say that Black Swan is an unremarkable film.  It was visually stunning and contained ballet sequences impressive enough that I can say so without having to punch something lest my masculinity be called into question.  But it didn’t blow me away. Until recently, Darren Aronofsky made two types of films: Those that I loved (Pi, The Wrestler) and those that I hated (Requiem for a Dream, The Fountain). With Black Swan he bridged the gap for me. Was it art? Certainly. Was it enjoyable? Without question. But something about it rang a little hollow; it lacked a bit of that intangible quality that we in the biz call “soul.” Basically it was the cinematic equivalent of Arcade Fire’s last record, and the fact that I’m able to compare it to an Arcade Fire record should tell you everything you need to know.

Still, this is just one man’s opinion, and Oscar winners are not left up to me (or my penis) alone. So let us now scrutinize Black Swan’s Best Picture chances using our scientifically-vetted ranking categories.

RETARD STRENGTH (4/5): It’s hard not to love Natalie Portman; she’s beautiful, brainy, Jewish (it’s a fetish, sue me) and has that adorable nails-on-a-chalkboard laugh.  She’s also a genuine good person: I mean she’s nice enough to have that gay man’s baby, right? However with the exception of her work in Leon (I’m sure I’m not the only “To Catch a Predator” alum to list that film in his Top 5), she’d never really impressed me with her actressing, that is until Black Swan.  Her turn as the schizophrenia-tarded ballerina whose quest for perfection drives her past the edge of sanity was definitely the performance of her career, making her a favorite to take the Shiny Gold Dude for Best Actress. The retard is strong with this one.

SOCIAL RELEVANCE (2/5): Does Black Swan have a message? Perhaps that if we smother our children and make them surrogate vessels for our own unrealized dreams, they’ll end up as self-mutilating, bulimic, obsessive loonies who fantasize about having gay sex with “That 70s Show” cast members. And while I think that’s a lesson certain parents could stand to learn (looking at you, Dad!), I wouldn’t go so far as to call it “socially relevant.” (Call me, Ashton!)

EPICOSITY (3/5): Visually speaking, it was my favorite Aronofsky film yet, combining the verité style he employed in The Wrester with the more bombastic, bells-and-whistles approach of Requiem and The Fountain. And the ballet scenes were outstanding… er, I mean… Hot chicks!  Superbowl! UFC! Pick-up truck! I wouldn’t go so far as to call Black Swan “epic,” but like Natalie Portman’s ubiquitous nipple hard-ons, it sure was nice to look at.

UPLIFT (0/5): As heartwarming as an overdose on sleeping pills. Euthanizing a leukemia kid’s puppy would be more uplifting.

TOTAL POWER RANKING (2.25/5): Black Swan is a film Darren Aronofsky can be proud of, and it certainly earned him a high five from anyone who’s ever wondered what it’d be like to see Mila Kunis go down on Natalie Portman (meaning, everyone). But if it’s a Shiny Gold Dude he’s hoping to take home, he should ease up on the bleak and throw in a bit more heart.

This demo reel reveals many of the techniques that went into makin Black Swan such an understated yet striking film. Reflections of cameramen were removed from dance studi mirrors, lots of “head replacements” took place, and animated tattoos were placed on Mila Kunis‘ back while she “kissed” Ms. Portman. Also, Vincent Cassel died 17 days into filming and they had to use a CGI representation of him. Just kidding. I think. (/Film)

All of Hollywood woke up early today to find out the nominees for the 2011 Academy Awards. Except for M. Night Shyamalan. He’s going to sleep in. And then eat some waffles that he later discovers are ghosts.

Without further ado, here are the nominees that will have to struggle to keep eye contact with co-host Anne Hathaway.

Best Picture

‘Black Swan’

‘The Fighter’

‘Inception’

‘The Kids Are All Right’

‘The King’s Speech’

‘127 Hours’

‘The Social Network’

‘Toy Story 3′

‘True Grit’

‘Winter’s Bone’

Best Director

Darren Aronofsky, ‘Black Swan’

David O’Russell, ‘The Fighter’

Tom Hooper, ‘The King’s Speech’

David Fincher, ‘The Social Network’

Joel and Ethan Coen, ‘True Grit’

Best Actor

Javier Bardem, ‘Biutiful’

Jeff Bridges, ‘True Grit’

Jesse Eisenberg, ‘The Social Network’

Colin Firth, ‘The King’s Speech’

James Franco, ‘127 Hours’

Best Actress

Annette Bening, ‘The Kids Are All Right’

Nicole Kidman, ‘Rabbit Hole’

Jennifer Lawrence, ‘Winter’s Bone’

Natalie Portman, ‘Black Swan’

Michelle Williams, ‘Blue Valentine’

Best Supporting Actor

Christian Bale, ‘The Fighter’

John Hawkes, ‘Winter’s Bone’

Jeremy Renner, ‘The Town’

Mark Ruffalo, ‘The Kids Are All Right’

Geoffrey Rush, ‘The King’s Speech’

Best Supporting Actress

Amy Adams, ‘The Fighter’

Helena Bonham Carter, ‘The King’s Speech’

Melissa Leo, ‘The Fighter’

Hailee Steinfeld, ‘True Grit’

Jacki Weaver, ‘Animal Kingdom’

Cinematography

Matthew Libatique,’Black Swan‘

Wally Pfister, ‘Inception’

Danny Cohen, ‘The King’s Speech’

Jeff Cronenweth,’The Social Network‘

Roger Deakins,’True Grit‘

Best Animated Feature Film

‘How to Train Your Dragon’

‘Illusionist’

‘Toy Story 3′

Best Foreign Film

Mexico – ‘Biutiful’

Greece – ‘Dogtooth’

Denmark – ‘In a Better World’

Canada – ‘Incendies’

Algeria – ‘Outside the law’

Best Original Screenplay

‘Another Year’

‘The Fighter’

‘Inception’

‘The Kids Are All Right’

‘The King’s Speech’

Best Adapted Screenplay

‘127 Hours’

‘The Social Network’

‘Toy Story 3′

‘True Grit’

‘Winter’s Bone’

Best Art Direction

‘Alice in Wonderland’

‘Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part I’

‘Inception’

‘The King’s Speech’

‘True Grit’

Best Costume Design

‘Alice in Wonderland’

‘I Am Love’

‘The King’s Speech’

‘The Tempest’

‘True Grit’

Best Original Score

‘How to Train Your Dragon’ John Powell

‘Inception’ Hans Zimmer

‘The King’s Speech’ Alexandre Desplat

‘127 Hours’ A.R. Rahman

‘The Social Network’ Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross

Best Documentary

‘Exit through the Gift Shop’ Banksy and Jaimie D’Cruz

‘Gasland’ Josh Fox and Trish Adlesic

‘Inside Job’ Charles Ferguson and Audrey Marrs

‘Restrepo’ Tim Hetherington and Sebastian Junger

‘Waste Land’ Lucy Walker and Angus Aynsley

Best Film Editing

‘Black Swan’

‘The Fighter’

‘The Kings Speech’

‘127 Hours’

‘The Social Network’

Best Makeup

‘Barney’s Version’

‘The Way Back’

‘The Wolfman’

Best Sound Editing

‘Inception’

‘Toy Story 3′

‘TRON: Legacy’

‘True Grit’

‘Unstoppable’

Best Sound Mixing

‘Inception’

‘The King’s Speech’

‘Salt’

‘The Social Network’

‘True Grit’

Animated Short Film

“Day & Night”

“The Gruffalo”

“Let’s Pollute”

“The Lost Thing”

“Madagascar, carnet de voyage (Madagascar, a Jouney Diary)”

Live Action Short Film

“The Confession”

“The Crush”

“God of Love”

“Na Wewe”

“Wish 143″

Visual Effects

“Alice in Wonderland”

“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1″

“Hereafter”

“Inception”

“Iron Man 2“

One of those two movies, No Strings Attached, was the number one movie this weekend, narrowly edging out last weekend’s top earner, The Green Hornet. Number 3, as if anyone ever cares about number 3, was Ron Howard‘s The Dilemma. If you have thirst for more information about how much money different movies made over the weekend, you can get your fill at boxofficemojo.com.

The Social Network

Awards like these can be indicators of how the Oscars are gonna go. I thought The Social Network was terrific, but I’m pulling for Toy Story 3 to win Best Picture, just like director / noted foot fetishist Quentin Tarantino. Are industry types willing to give the prestigious title of “Best Picture” to the third film in a series about action figures who fight mean children and evil teddy bears? Hopefully! But as long as they can ghettoize Pixar films to the Best Animated movie category, Buzz and Woody’s Best Picture chances may end up in the incinerator. Also, remember how terrified you were during that scene? Yeah, that shit was crazy.

A little more interesting is Inception sleep-stealing the most awards of the evening with 6, but they’re mostly art direction awards, which means they’re entirely worthless. The Fighter pounded its way to two awards for Best Supporting Actor and Actress Christian Bale and Melissa Leo. Also, Natalie Portman won Best Actress for Black Swan. Wasn’t Mila Kunis going down on her enough of a reward?

Here’s the full list of winners from Cinema Blend:

Best Picture: The Social Network
Best Actor: Colin Firth, The King’s Speech
Best Actress: Natalie Portman, Black Swan
Best Supporting Actor: Christian Bale, The Fighter
Best Supporting Actress: Melissa Leo, The Fighter
Best Young Actor/Actress: Hailee Steinfeld, True Grit
Best Acting Ensemble: The Fighter
Best Director: David Fincher, The Social Network
Best Original Screenplay: David Seidler, The King’s Speech
Best Adapted Screenplay: Aaron Sorkin, The Social Network
Best Cinematography: Inception
Best Art Direction: Inception
Best Editing: Inception
Best Costume Design: Alice in Wonderland
Best Makeup: Alice in Wonderland
Best Visual Effects: Inception
Best Sound: Inception
Best Animated Feature: Toy Story 3
Best Action Movie: Inception
Best Comedy: Easy A
Best Picture Made for Television: The Pacific
Best Foreign Language Film: The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Best Documentary Feature: Waiting for Superman
Best Score: The Social Network

Anyway, Aronofsky has a better reason than most to be pissed at Mr. White, after his slam on the director’s latest effort, Black Swan. In it, White unfavorably compares Aronofsky’s movie to Kanye West‘s 30-minute-plus music video for the song “Runaway.” Try and figure out if this is real or a parody:

Our dumbed-down film culture is likely to prefer Black Swan precisely because: 1.) It is insipid; 2.) It glamorizes white petulance without specifically identifying its sociological or cultural sources; 3.) Its nonsense is familiar.

The article also says Aronofsky apologized afterward, but honestly, who cares about that?

His name is Benjamin Millepied. What the hell? Isn’t Millepied an Atari game? I hate this guy so much, and yes, it’s only because I’m jealous. After all, I’ve literally wanted to bang this girl since she was 13, and given the fact that we’re about the same age, that’s a lot less creepy than when I say the same about Emma Watson…or Daniel Radcliffe.

Editors note: My boss wants to point out that this dude better be Jewish, or the whole thing is a sham. (People)

The Broadcast Film Critics Association announced its nominees this morning, handing out a record 12 nominations to Black Swan, the most Critics Choice Movie Award nominations ever for a single film. It’s assumed the film’s hot girl-on-girl action influenced their decision.

Joining Black Swan as best picture nominees are 127 Hours, The Fighter, Inception, The King’s Speech The Social Network The Town, Toy Story 3 True Grit, and Winter’s Bone.

The Critics Choice awards are often an accurate predictor of ho the Academy Awards will play out, so if you’ve got a gambling problem take notice of the winners on Jan. 14. You might finally win your Oscar poll and be able to pay that back child support, ya degenerate.

Check out the full list of nominees below:

BEST YOUNG ACTOR/ACTRESS
Elle Fanning – “Somewhere”
Jennifer Lawrence – “Winter’s Bone”
Chloe Grace Moretz – “Let Me In”
Chloe Grace Moretz – “Kick-Ass”
Kodi Smit-McPhee – “Let Me In”
Hailee Steinfeld – “True Grit”

ACTING ENSEMBLE
“The Fighter”
“The Kids Are All Right”
“The King’s Speech”
“The Social Network”
“The Town”

BEST DIRECTOR
Darren Aronofsky – “Black Swan”
Danny Boyle – “127 Hours”
Joel Coen & Ethan Coen – “True Grit”
David Fincher – “The Social Network”
Tom Hooper – “The King’s Speech”
Christopher Nolan – “Inception”

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
“Another Year” – Mike Leigh
“Black Swan” – Mark Heyman and Andres Heinz and John McLaughlin
“The Fighter” – Scott Silver and Paul Tamasy & Eric Johnson (Story by Keith Dorrington & Paul Tamasy & Eric Johnson)
“Inception” – Christopher Nolan
“The Kids Are All Right” – Lisa Cholodenko and Stuart Blumberg
“The King’s Speech” – David Seidler

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
“127 Hours” – Simon Beaufoy and Danny Boyle
“The Social Network” – Aaron Sorkin
“The Town” – Ben Affleck, Peter Craig and Sheldon Turner
“Toy Story 3” – Michael Arndt (Story by John Lasseter, Andrew Stanton and Lee Unkrich)
“True Grit” – Joel & Ethan Coen
“Winter’s Bone” – Debra Granik and Anne Rosellini

CINEMATOGRAPHY
“127 Hours” – Anthony Dod Mantle
“Black Swan” – Matthew Libatique
“Inception” – Wally Pfister
“The King’s Speech” – Danny Cohen
“True Grit” – Roger Deakins

ART DIRECTION
“Alice in Wonderland” – Stefan Dechant
“Black Swan” – Therese DePrez and Tora Peterson
“Inception” – Guy Hendrix Dyas
“The King’s Speech” – Netty Chapman
“True Grit” – Jess Gonchor and Nancy Haigh

EDITING
“127 Hours” – Jon Harris
“Black Swan” – Andrew Weisblum
“Inception” – Lee Smith
“The Social Network” – Angus Wall and Kirk Baxter

COSTUME DESIGN
“Alice in Wonderland” – Colleen Atwood
“Black Swan” – Amy Westcott
“The King’s Speech” – Jenny Beavan
“True Grit” – Mary Zophres

MAKEUP
“Alice in Wonderland”
“Black Swan”
“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1″
“True Grit”

VISUAL EFFECTS
“Alice in Wonderland”
“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1″
“Inception”
“Tron: Legacy

SOUND
“127 Hours”
“Black Swan”
“Inception”
“The Social Network”
“Toy Story 3″

BEST PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
“The Pacific”
“Temple Grandin”
“You Don’t Know Jack”

DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
“Exit Through the Gift Shop”
“Inside Job”
“Restrepo”
“Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work”
“The Tillman Story”
“Waiting for ‘Superman’”

SONG
“I See the Light” – performed by Mandy Moore & Zachary Levi/written by Alan Menken & Glenn Slater – “Tangled”
“If I Rise” – performed by Dido and A.R. Rahman/music by A.R. Rahman/lyrics by Dido Armstrong and Rollo Armstrong – “127 Hours”
“Shine” – performed and written by John Legend – “Waiting for ‘Superman’”
“We Belong Together” – performed and written by Randy Newman – “Toy Story 3″
“You Haven’t Seen the Last of Me Yet” – performed by Cher/written by Diane Warren –”Burlesque”

SCORE
“Black Swan” – Clint Mansell
“Inception” – Hans Zimmer
“The King’s Speech” – Alexandre Desplat
“The Social Network” – Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross
“True Grit” – Carter Burwell

A word from Janet: “In every character you play, as much as you hate to admit it as an actor, but there’s an element of you that you bring to it.”

In the new Darren Aronofsky film, Black Swan, Natalie Portman (click her to see her ass) and Mila Kunis share some explicit sex scenes. Well, if there’s one thing I’ve learned during my time on this Earth, it’s that the only thing better than touching a beautiful woman is a beautiful woman touching a beautiful woman. You read me? I’m talking about girl-on-girl action, my friend, or as the Germans say, Lesbenporno! Luckily, we live in the Internet Age, and the Internet was practically built for girl-on-girl vids. But even with the abundance of lesbian porn at our fingertips, there’s still something to be said for its less explicit mainstream counterpart. After all, while watching two drugged-out teens lick their way to the bottom of the porn industry is fun, watching two “legitimate” actresses getting it on for art’s sake has its own perverse charm. With that, I give you nine ridiculously hot girl-on-girl scenes from mainstream movies.

Editors Note: Please keep in mind we selected films that have more than just some wimpy make out scene. With the possible exception of number seven, these films all have at least a breast grope or better. Sorry to Jennifer’s Body, Cruel Intentions, etc.

9. Rebecca Romijn and Rie Rasmussen – Femme Fatale (2002)

Rebecca Romijn plus girl-on-girl equals awesome! Just ask director Brian De Palma. He filmed this scene as an apology for anyone who sat through Mission to Mars. Well, I forgive you, Brian. But I don’t forget.

8. Julianne Moore and Amanda Seyfried – Chloe (2009)

Julianne Moore is almost 50-years old, yet she still manages to pull off a sexy persona. What’s her secret? Well, she eats right, exercises and takes care of her appearance. Oh, I almost forgot to mention that she’s also been known to lez out on film with hot blond girls like Amanda Seyfried, who are less than half her age. That might be part of her charm, as well.

7. Kristin Adams and Alison Lohman – Where the Truth Lies (2005)

While this scene isn’t the most explicit of the bunch, one of the girls involved is dressed up like Alice from Alice in Wonderland, so that gives it extra points in my book. Plus, Keven Bacon is in it, and it’s not his only appearance on this list. Any man who appears multiple times on a girl-on-girl list deserves our respect.

6. Angelina Jolie and Elizabeth Mitchell – Gia (1998)

I’ve never been big fan of Angelina Jolie. It’s not that she’s not hot. Clearly, she is. But why is she so popular, as opposed to any other hot actress? Oh right, the whole large-breasted bi-sexual thing. I forgot. Well if that’s what floats your boat, check out Gia, an HBO movie about some stupid model from the 80′s who gets it on with her female makeup artist. (Boner Spoiler Alert) I recommend you turn if off before she dies of AIDS, unless that floats your boat as well, in which case you are one sick puppy.

5. Joan Chen and Anne Heche – Wildside (1995) *Unrated Version

You have to hand it to HBO for not shying away from girl-on-girl scenes in their films. At least that would be the case if the network hadn’t backpedaled and removed said scenes after the initial airing of the film. But if you do manage to get your hands on the unrated version, you’re in for a treat in the form of pre-Ellen Anne Heche.

4. Piper Perabo and Jessica Paré – Lost and Delirious (2001)

If a film is about coming of age at an all-girls school, it better have some hot girl-on-girl scenes. Luckily, the producers of Lost and Delirious knew this. If you like young girls in skirts and knee socks getting it on, this is the film for you. If you don’t, maybe you should look into becoming a Catholic priest, you creep.

3. Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon – Bound (1996) *Unrated Version

Bound tells the story of a gangster’s girlfriend who strikes up an affair with a female ex-con. The two then decide to steal $2 million from the mob. That sounds ok, but the real reason to watch this film is the gratuitous lesbian sex. Also, it was directed by the Wachowski brothers. Brother Larry even took the whole girl-on-girl thing to the extreme, and is now living as a woman named Lana Wachowski. As sexy as that sounds (cough, cough), I’ll stick with Jennifer Tilly.

2. Naomi Watts and Laura Harring – Muholland Drive (2001)

A lot of people complain about Muhollan Drive‘s lack of narrative structure. Those people are assholes. It make perfect sense. First, Naomi Watts and Laura Harring start talking. Then, they start kissing. Finally, they start groping. What’s so hard to understand? David Lynch is a genius.

1. Denise Richards and Neve Campbell – Wild Things (1998) *Unrated Version

If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why in the hell do I know who Denise Richards is?” Wild Things is the answer. While she’s not exactly the most talented actress in the world, she did get topless with Neve Campbell in a swimming pool. That won’t win you any Oscars, but it will get you a meeting with any casting director you choose until you turn 40, at which time the deal expires. That means she only has one year left. See, Denise: it’s not complicated after all.

Honorable Mention: Mia Kirshner and Beverly Polcyn - Not Another Teen Movie (2001)

This scene doesn’t have the explicit groping of the others on this list, but it does have a woman in her 70′s. That’s got to count for something, even if it’s disgusting. Eat your heart out, Megan Fox. And as long as we’re eating things out…eh, never mind.

Special thanks to Jon Mitchel

"Take your bullshit memory recall and put it in the trash bin."

Darren Aronofsky’s movies usually require intense performances. Brad Pitt couldn’t even handle The Fountain, and look how raw Mickey Rourke got in The Wrestler. Requiem for a Dream anyone? Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis and Barbara Hershey take it to the extremes in Black Swan.

You’d think with these types of roles, Aronofsky would welcome the most intense method actors he could find. Actually, it’s the opposite, he revealed at a press conference for Black Swan.

“I’ve dealt with a few method actors, and I don’t know if should say this, but I think it’s a bunch of nonsense,” Aronofsky said. “I think it’s film acting and you just have to be on when the camera is rolling. I mean, sure, if it’s a very intense scene then you might want to keep that energy in between the takes while the crew is resetting and they would all do that, but when it’s cut it’s cut. Even when it’s action there’s still a camera here and all these lights and all these people moving around you. It’s impossible to fully make believe that doesn’t exist.”

When you put it that way, method acting does kind of sound like a crock. Maybe the real stars are the ones who can be real when there is no method around. “That’s why they’re so good, that they’re able to sort of make believe that that’s not there convincingly, but the second that it’s cut someone is coming over to touch your mic and someone is putting powder on your face. It is make believe, but I don’t know. Whatever works, not to scare away method actors. Actually I want to scare away method actors because it’s a pain. It’s like, ‘Come on, what are you doing? It’s not real. What are you doing? Oh, you’re really brooding. Okay, good. Go to your trailer. I’ll see you in an hour.’”

Aronofsky keeps it totally real, and that’s why some actors don’t even want to work with him. “I’ve actually scared away a lot of A-List actors. In fact, Natalie Portman is the first A-List actor I’ve worked with in my career. Everyone else sort of went, ‘You want me to do what, for how long, for how little money?’ And then they walk away. So I’ve lost a lot of movie stars along the way, and I think that a more manipulative director would be like, ‘Oh, it’s not going to that hard. Come in and we’ll have fun,’ but I think that’s when wars start. It’s like, ‘You told me there would be sushi on set everyday.’ So I’m a little bit too direct, too straightforward I think.”

Black Swan opens Friday.

Director: Darren Aronofsky

Cast: Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis

Synopsis: A thriller that focuses in on the relationship between a veteran ballet dancer and a rival.

Genre: Drama / Thriller

Release Date: December 1, 2010

Darren Aronofsky would like you to see his new film, Black Swan, as a companion to his previous Oscar nominated The wrestler. Maybe they’ll show as a double feature. Black Swan is about a ballet dancer (Natalie Portman) losing her grip with reality, and The Wrestler was about a steroid monster trying to make up with his daughter. You see the similarities.

“I don’t really think there’s that much difference,” Aranofsky said. “I don’t think it’s that much of a big deal. I think people are people and if their feelings are real and truthful they can connect. I keep saying that it doesn’t matter if you’re an aging fifty something year old wrestler at the end of his career or an ambitious twenty something year old ballet dancer. If they’re truthful to who they are and they’re expressing something real then audiences will connect. That’s always been the promise of cinema and that’s why we can see a film about a seven year old girl in Iran or an immortal superhero in America. It doesn’t matter as long as they’re truthful.”

Also, they’re both kind of the ultimate sports movies The wrestler took staples in his chest and jacked up his heart on steroids. The dancer breaks her toes and breaks out in hives from all the hours of training. Aronofsky portrayed the dance world as starkly as he did the ring.

“The whole cinema verite handheld approach to The Wrestler was a big risk to bring over into this ballet film because I had never seen a kind of suspenseful film that had this kind of handheld camera and I didn’t know if it would work. I was always really worried that if in a really scary scene everyone would wonder why Natalie wouldn’t turn to the cameraman and go, ‘Help’, or something. So I didn’t know if it was going to work, but then we sort of went, ‘F*ck it. Lets just go for it because it’s never been done,’ and I really enjoyed the camera moving.”

The wrestler may have had some real life issues, but the dancer gets the full Aronofsky treatment. He goes all Requiem for a Dream on her. “Having a man hold the camera I could really move the camera in ways that you can’t in any other way. The result of that is that the first third of the film has a very different feel than the last half of the film because it’s got this very naturalistic feel which I think actually is kind of cool because it makes people feel like they’re watching a very different type of movie that can’t ever freak out like the way that it freaks out. Yet, it gives you that kind of immediacy of being in that other moment and being in this other world with little hints like she’s peeling her finger and things are going to get really freaked out. In general it just feels like a documentary in the beginning before it freaks out. So it kind of worked out for us.

Black Swan freaks out theaters Dec. 3.

Black Swan is some classic Darren Aronofsky crazy. If you missed the high style of Requiem for a Dream or the abstract interpretive level of The Fountain, they’re back. Yet it’s also set in a physical world like The Wrestler, so maybe I can work Pi into this comparison somehow too.

Ballet ingénue Nina (Natalie Portman) gets a big break when director Thomas Leroy (Vincent Cassell) gets tired of his old star, Beth Macintyre (Winona Ryder). Leroy forces Beth to retire at the ripe old age of 30-something, and he pushes Nina to give a star making performance in “Swan Lake.” A new ballerina, Lily (Mila Kunis), seems like a potential rival to Nina. Then Nina starts having visions of gore and sex and just general creepiness.

The world of ballet is introduced with perfect visual storytelling. A montage of feet cracking and shoe prepping is like a sports movie. We’re in the world, enough to understand it without any blatant “this is how ballet works.”

Lily’s so rogue she seems like the ballet badass. She shows up late but has so much confidence she pulls it off. What we see of her moves are so sensual, it does seem like that’s the way the ballet industry should go. Lily is just passion, raw and natural. Kunis pulls it off even though we hardly see her actually dance.

Nina’s problem is she’s strictly performing. It’s kind of funny that Leroy is complaining she’s stuck in her structure of serious innocence. He’s basically saying, “Stop giving a Natalie Portman performance.” More than any of her performances since The Professional, we really see Portman transform into a completely different physicality by the end of the movie.

Then it goes completely off the rails. Little flourishes of sound make regular scenes shriek with intensity. Little visual effects twist regular scenes until they’re just not quite right. The effects are designed to look just a tad off enough that it freaks you out. I saw one spotty CGI tweak, but every film is allowed one.

Nina’s mother, Erica (Barbara Hershey), is just off enough to be totally crazy. She makes small gestures, but they’re so wrong. Drastic gestures appear out of nowhere. There’s some gore that’s grosser than anything in Saw because it’s intimate. Leroy uses sexual manipulation as artistic direction, and damned if it doesn’t make sense as a directorial tactic.

This is one of those pure crazy movies like Jacob’s Ladder. You don’t know what you’re going to see next, you don’t know what’s real and just getting to the end is exhausting. The film leaves you drained, which is a wonderful experience to have at the movies.

^{I’ll never have to Photoshop them kissing again.}

I’d be lying if I didn’t say that reporting on Darren Aronosky‘s Black Swan hasn’t been a rocky road. First, we were promised girl-on-girl between Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis. Then, we were told no Natalie boobs. Then we saw some freaky pics. And now we have video of the stars kissing and touching one another’s naughty bits. This marks the first time I’ve ever been turned on by something Kafkaesque. I guess there’s a film trailer attached to that footage too. If you’re into that kind of thing.

If you’re still reading, the trailer is after the jump…

Black Swan Trailer – Watch more Movie Trailers

Darren Aronofsky will open the Venice International Film Festival with his pyschological thriller Black Swan. USA Today has a first look at the film and it looks like Aronofsky didn’t hold back. The visual style he’s achieved in these few snapshots are elegant, mysterious, and foreboding. Natalie Portman stars as a stressed-out ballerina whose life takes odd turns after she is cast as the lead in Swan Lake.

There’s a few more pictures after the jump. Though the one of Mila and Natalie seems tame. I’d much rather see other pictures of them. If you know what I’m sayin’. **suggestively bumps two doughnuts together, gets ejected from Tim Horton’s**

HOT BALLERINAS AFTER THE JUMP…

You can leave your bottle of Jergen’s at home when you go to see The Black Swan, fellas. The hot, angry, lesbian, ballerina sex that we previously reported would take place between Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis is going to be filmed with the aid of breast doubles. Portman tells UK Elle that she will never show her naughty bits on the big screen.

"I’m definitely not a prude about sex or nudity, I just don’t want do something that will end up as a screen grab on a porn site so meanwhile I’m doing halfsies – I’m like, ‘I’ll show my butt but not my boobs’,"

I’m sure perverts the world over are saddened by this news but bear in mind that she is an actress, not an object. It’s difficult for young women to always be taken seriously in Hollywood and I salute her convictions. I urge you perverts to as well. OH! GROSS GUYS!!! THAT’S NOT HOW YOU SALUTE!!! (UK Elle via The Playlist)