Though the singer wasn’t on the scene, a Los Angeles photographer was accidentally killed while attempting to get his picture. The murder began when Justin Bieber loaned his Ferrari to rapper Lil Twist, who was later pulled over for speeding. The photographer arrived on the scene hoping to get a very interesting picture of Justin Bieber receiving a speeding ticket. However, police instructed the photographer to return to his car. He was struck and killed by an SUV while doing so.

Bieber’s people released the following statement:

“While I was not present nor directly involved with this tragic accident, my thoughts and prayers are with the family of the victim,” Bieber said in a statement.

“Hopefully this tragedy will finally inspire meaningful legislation and whatever other necessary steps to protect the lives and safety of celebrities, police officers, innocent public bystanders, and the photographers themselves.”

Swatting, get it?

Anyway, some dumbass was arrested at his parents’ house on December 10th after having targeted no less than Ashton Kutcher and Just Bieber in his swatting hijinks. HOWEVER, this boy was apparently not responsible for the Miley Cyrus swatting incident, which is…just too bad.

The little shit reported shots fired through a TTY device, then led the police to fall upon the Beebz’s house, probably scaring the Canadian teenager till he shat himself in fear.

Four men, two of whom seem to have been incarcerated while hatching the plan, decided that as long as they were planning the murder of two men in Vermont (by strangling them with a paisley tie, the calling card of one of the incarcerated murderers), they might as well kill Justin Bieber and his bodyguard.

It turns out that one of the men had a bit of a love/hate thing going on with the pop star, as he had Bieber‘s image tattooed on his leg. Fortunately (?) New York police caught wind of the plot via a recorded phone call, and brought the hammer down on one of the free men, ensuring that Bieber lives to fight another day.