Thanks for the tip, Lisa.

Unless it is all part of an elaborate April Fool’s Day prank, Betty White will star in her own Punk’d style prank show for NBC. Yeah, that’s the same network that went with Jay Leno over Conan. Is it any wonder they’re turning to an 89-year-old woman for inspiration? At any rate, a few proposed pranks for the show have been leaked (by “leaked” I mean I pissed them out myself a few minutes ago). Take a look.

Here Comes the Stork

A frantic Betty White will show up at Ed Asner’s house claiming she became pregnant after one of their weekly, all-out, anything-goes sex romps.

Won’t You Let Me Take You On A Sea Cruise?

Impersonating a travel agent, White will call John Travolta‘s private line demanding payment for a gay cruise he took late last year.

Golden Girl

Using a concealed water bottle, Betty will stop by several Hollywood hot spots and pretend to wet herself. She will repeatedly ask for a new chair until the manager finally refuses, at which point she will begin sobbing on the floor in a puddle of her own faux urine.

This Place Is Dead

Betty will sit on a seat at LAX pretending to be dead until someone notices. If no one notices, it will still be fun to watch Betty White pretending to be dead in an airport.

You Ought To Be In Pictures

Betty White will arrange for a meeting with Justin Bieber in order to pitch him on a remake of Harold and Maude. When he accepts. Betty will forcefully demand the two close the deal via the “casting couch.”

We’re All Pink On the Inside

After setting up a business meeting with porn producer Steven Hirsch, Betty will give a PowerPoint presentation on her new interracial porn concept, BlackinWhite.com.

Not Enough Time On the Clock

Betty goes to a car dealership and asks the salesman about a five year lease.

Special Thanks to Penn Collins

UNIVERSAL CITY, Calif. — March 31, 2011 — NBC will broadcast “Betty White’s Off Their Rockers,” (working title) a new hidden-camera comedy show hosted and executive -produced by seven-time Emmy Award winner Betty White, it was announced today be Paul Telegdy, Executive Vice President, Alternative Programming, NBC and Universal Media Studios. The series of 12 half-hour episodes will be produced by Kinetic Content, the new company run by Chris Coelen (“Secret Millionaire”).

‪Known throughout Europe as “Benidorm Bastards,” “Betty White’s Off Their Rockers” follows a band of seven senior citizens who make it their mission to play pranks on unsuspecting younger people.

‪”Betty White is a comedic genius who escalates hilarity in any situation,” said Telegdy. “Viewers will thoroughly enjoy watching her pull one over on the unsuspecting youth of America.”

‪”People have been telling me that I’m ‘Off My Rocker’ for years — now I can prove it,” commented White.

“NBC is a terrific home for great comedy and Betty White’s mischievous sense of humor is a perfect fit with this format which has shattered ratings expectations and garnered critical acclaim in every territory around the world,” said Coelen, CEO of Kinetic Content.

‪Caroline Kusser, Director North America of SevenOne International, said: “We are thrilled to work with Betty White and Chris Coelen — an absolute dream team for this hilarious international smash hit.”

(The Wrap)

She’s joining a pretty solid cast that includes Danny DeVito as the titular Lorax, Ed Helms as the Once’ler, Zac Efron as “Ted, the young boy who searched for the Lorax,” Rob Riggle as King O’Hare and Betty White as Grammy Norma. Swift herself will be playing Audrey, Ted’s love interest. Man, I wonder what Dr. Seuss would think of the idea of adding a “love interest” to his stories. He’d probably write a really angry rhyming couplet about it. (via Deadline)

Normally, I don’t like to put funny video clips in my posts. After all, I’m a writer. It should be my words that kind-of-sort-of make you laugh, not some Youtube clip.

But when it comes to Betty White, I make an exception. First of all, the Internet loves her. Second, the internet loves Inception, and in this clip from "Community," that’s what she’s talking about. Third, and most importantly, I can’t write because last night I mixed beer, wine and whiskey like some brain-dead freshman sorority girl. But unlike her, I knew all the guys who were hitting on me were lying, I just didn’t care. (Vulture)

Watch Betty White explain Inception after the jump…

Here are some demonic dolls for those of you who can’t get enough Betty White.

These links easily fit inside one another.

The League‘ Talks Guest Stars, D**k Jokes, and Season 2 (_TVSquad)

_{The Biggest Unpaid Stripper Bills Ever (Asylum)}

_{Top 10 Hottest Homoerotic  True Blood Moments (Ranker)}

_{MILF Monday: Claudia Schiffer (HolyTaco)}

_{Mark Zuckerberg Removes ‘The West Wing‘ From Favorite Shows (FilmDrunk)}

_{Girls In Showers (Maxim)}

_{Dude Finds A Used Tampon In His Cereal Box (BarStoolSports)}

_{A Gallery Of Odd Celebrity Tattoos (EgoTV)}

_{Mickey Rourke Seeks ‘Meatier’ Roles (Pajiba)}

_{Marliyn Manson Loves’Eastbound And Down‘ (Unreality)}

_{The Dallas Cowboys’ Comedy Of Errors (TotalProSports)}

_{Brooklyn Carnival Celebrates (Smosh)}

_{The 10  Best Things About The Chicks At Boston College (BroBible)}

_{Miley Cyrus Fat Face In Little Black Dress (CelebJihad)}

_{Ricky Hatton Had A Sh*ty Weekend (CagePotato)}

_{Ryan Gosling And Michelle Williams Have Messy, Toxic Sex Scene (PopEater)}

_{Buy Beckham’s Mansion (MadeMan)}

Who says Hollywood is out of ideas? Obviously they haven’t seen this picture of Helen Mirren giving Russell Brand the old "rub & tug" on the set of Arthur. In fact, seeing a geriatric Mirren giving Brand a bathtub HJ is the most original thing I’ve seen in weeks, and mind you, I watch Bravo daily.

The only question is how is Hollywood going to top this? Chances are we’ll see Betty White giving an "Asian massage" to the wolf-boy from Twilight sometime soon. "Team Jacob" indeed! (Cinema Blend)

"Community" is a hilarious show, and you should be watching more of it. Don’t believe me? Then perhaps you’ll listen to Mrs. Betty White. That’s what NBC is hoping.

White, a six-time Emmy winner and all around tough-as-nails bitch, will appear on the upcoming season premiere of the NBC comedy. She will play the character of June Bauer, described as "an esteemed, but slightly unhinged anthropology professor."

The producers approached White because she is in the midst of a late-career renaissance fueled primarily by her popularity on the Internet. Other guest stars slated to appear include LOL Cats, Bacon, and Epic Beard Man. (HitFix)

"Saturday Night Live" is officially a hit again thanks to Betty White and her whore mouth. The Facebook-supported, hood-approved actress officially rocked it and helped the show score its highest ratings since a pre-election November 2008 episode.

Many of the episode’s sketches coasted by on the "Grandma says naughty words" schtick of which White is clearly a master. In fact, her muffin sketch is all anyone is talking about today as cubicles everywhere tune into "SNL" via Hulu. I hope I don’t get caught by the boss but whatever. It wouldn’t be the first time I was fired because of an old woman’s vagina. (Reuters)

Betty White and Jay-Z will reportedly squash their long-standing beef for an upcoming episode of "Saturday Night Live." Hova will appear as the musical guest on the May 8th episode which White is hosting after being cyber-bullied into taking the gig.

For those worried that White is not up to the after-hours task had best check themselves.

"It’s lovely, and at my age it’s certainly unexpected. I’ve got so much energy, it’s ridiculous. I love working. My schedule is a feverish one, and I’m used to that."

Betty White’s album is expected to drop on Roc Nation before the end of the year. Streets is hungry for this one. (MTV)

Hip grandma Betty White will soon be staying up nine hours past her bedtime. People caught up with the aged star at Elton John‘s Oscars viewing party where she confirmed the rumors that she will appear on an upcoming episode of Saturday Night Live, though she doesn’t know when. Originally, it was believed she would appear on a "Women of Comedy" episode alongside Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, and Molly Shannon but Lorne Michaels has shot down those reports.

It’s not known whether she will host or provide a cameo but White is just happy for to be a part of the confusing campaign. "I don’t know why or how," says White, "but it’s been wonderful." Though at the age of 88, I’m sure more than a few things confuse her. Like young women nowadays always putting their elbows on the table. Back in her day, a lady knew how to ensnare a man. (People)

We may have a problem on our hands as the combined might of college students and their Internet-savvy grandparents are realizing their strength. In the past week, not only have Facebook users managed to make a pickle more popular than Canadian ass-rockers Nickleback, but they may have also convinced Lorne Michaels to hire the dumb Golden Girl to host an upcoming episode of Saturday Night Live. A group of Betty White-heads nearly half a million strong took to the social networking site and petitioned for their favorite octogenarian to headline the show. And now Michaels is reportedly trying to put together a show that will work with White’s advanced age. From Michael Aussiello:

White would not be hosting alone. Rather, I hear SNL is putting together a “Women of Comedy” episode that would team the former Rose Nylund with several of her younger contemporaries. Ex-SNL MVP Molly Shannon is on board, I hear, and feelers have also been put out to Tina Fey and Amy Poehler.

When told of the wellspring of support from her fans, White was reportedly thrilled/ready for dinner at 4pm. (EW)