Both Stiller and Vince Vaughn will be returning, teaming up against an even bigger threat (terrorism?), so bring your shades, cause you’ll get blinded by all this starpower!

No other news is available, but I’m comfortable guaranteeing that Lance Armstrong will not be making an appearance.

Oh man, this better be fucking hilarious. And not like Dodgeball and Semi-Pro hilarious, but actually funny. Ferrell’s will be a fake soap opera, whereas Stiller’s will be a sketch comedy show, which is good, because The Ben Stiller Show was pretty damn funny back in its day.

No timeline has been set, but considering this IFC, and the budgets aren’t huge, sooner is probably a better bet than later.

Take Me Home Tonight

Wouldn’t it be funny of an obnoxious, overweight guy were to challenge another guy to a dance-off, but it turns out that other guy is really good at dance-offs? Answer: nope.

American Pie 3

When the enthralling narrative of the second American Pie sequel sensibly drew our players to a gay bar, it was a forgone conclusion that someone was going to get f***ed in their pie Stifler was going to dance with a dude. Is this the type of awkward, silly white guy dancing that goes on in gay bars? It’s a wonder those dudes get any at all.

White Chicks

Writing movies is hard. Did you know that you’re expected to fill at least 88 minutes of screentime? And twenty-five minute end credits are frowned upon. That’s (probably) why the Wayan’s Brothers chose to fill up this four-minute gap in White Chicks with a random dance-off. Making characters say words can be hard.

Stiller will reunite with Reality Bites scripter Helen Childress for the Rosemary’s Baby-tinged project. There has been zero confirmation of Eddie Vedder‘s involvement from his camp. (Deadline)

This is the first role for Hill since he stepped into Captain America‘s Superhumanizer and set it to reverse. (THR)

Certainly, the well-worn pairing of Stiller and Vaughn could use a little spice, but is Hill the right guy for the job? Hill is hilarious in his own right, but the cast and familiar premise could use a bit more than just “a funny guy;” it could use a decent dose of something different. In Moneyball, Superbad, and the upcoming The Sitter, we’ve seen Hill tackle different personas, but he’ll need to really stretch to bust the audience out of the familiar Stiller/Vaughn funk.

Neighborhood Watch will follow two suburban dads (guess who) as they stumble upon an extraterrestrial threat from which they must save their community. Huh. Might want to bring in Christopher Walken, Zach Galifianakis, and a Quentin Tarantino cameo just to be safe.

Once the CalTech team did score one in the win column, it was only a matter of time before someone scooped up the story and gave it the inevitable comedic/inspirational story that it has been begging for. It’s not known at this time whether Stiller will star in this project, but, let’s face it – he will.

The script will be written by Moneyball’s original screenwriter, Stan Chervin. Who, as was demonstrated can make Jonah Hill heartwarming, so the sky’s the limit with this guy.

Movies like New Year’s Eve should take note. THIS is how you make a comedy with an ensemble cast. You use likable actors like Matthew Broderick. That way, audiences are happy and the Broderick-Parker children are still fed. Everyone wins!!

With Stiller attached, the studio set out to find a cinematic director to pair him with. Gore Verbinski was in the mix at one point but won’t be able to take the gig due to his Lone Rangering this fall. No worries though because Fox has found their director and they didn’t have to look any further than their leading man. That’s right. Like a twitchy Ben Affleck, Ben Stiller will both direct and star in the new spin on The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. The story centers on a lonely doormat of a man who escapes into his own epic fantasies. His life grows complicated, however, when his daydreams bubble over into real life and he must stand up to those who bully him. With Stiller so intimately involved, this film already sounds like a winner. Now, let’s cast his dad and wife and call it a day. (Twitch)

Both Stiller and Vaughn could use something of a fresh start after spending the past five or so years largely coasting in rom-com and sequel fare to lackluster popular and critical reception. It would seem that this could serve as an excellent opportunity with the edgier Schaffer behind the camera and a recent draft of the script penned by Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg, the braintrusts behind Superbad.

So with the pedigree of director and writers, let’s hope that there’s at least some semblance of a wrinkle here. Perhaps Ben Stiller could be a junkie like he was in Permanent Midnight and Vince Vaughn could play a sex-crazed self-mutilator. No? Okay, no.

The film focuses on a group of dads, one of whom would be Stiller, that establishes a neighborhood watch as a bonding exercise but find themselves in over their heads when they uncover a plot to destroy the world. This film would mark the third time that Stiller has signed on as a nightwatchman, only to find himself in over his head. Dicey stuff.

Speaking of the Night at the Museum franchise, Shawn Levy is looking to offer a hand as producer of Watch.

Neither Schaffer nor Stiller have committed yet, but this could serve both parties well, as Schaffer could use this as a very high-profile gig to establish himself, and Stiller could use Schaffer’s edge in doing a comedic film that doesn’t have a number after it. Or the word “Focker.”

One of those unlucky Super Hell projects is the remake of 1947′s The Secret Life of Walter Mitty starring Danny Kaye. Over the years, Fox’s proposed reboot has collected more comedian interest than a hot asian girl at a stand-up club wearing a tight Ghostbusters t-shirt. Jim Carrey, Owen Wilson, Mike Myers, Will Ferrell and Sacha Baron Cohen have all circled around the title role at one point. Now add Ben Stiller to the list.

After writer Steve Conrad penned a completely new version of the remake script, Stiller expressed interest. With Stiller on-board, Fox will scramble for a “cinematic director,” hoping to get the cameras rolling this Fall. Walter Mitty is based on a famous James Thurber short story about a mild-mannered daydreamer who imagines himself in heroic situations. I suspect this new version will contain more fart jokes in those daydreams than in any previous adaptation. (Deadline)

Treat yourself to the first look at a still from Brett Ratner‘s upcoming Tower Heist, an ensemble comedy that can best be described as a dorkier Ocean’s Eleven. Aside from the pictured Ben Stiller, Michael Pena, Matthew Broderick, Casey Affleck, and Eddie Murphy, the film boasts Alan Alda, Téa Leoni, Gabourey Sidibe, and Judd Hirsch. The film follows a group of people that all have been swindled by a Madoff-like Alan Alda. This film could either become more than the sum of its parts or a complete trainwreck, and having Ratner at the helm doesn’t provide a lot more certainty. The good news is that Stiller appears to be playing a regular person, and not someone who is either borderline retarded or absurdly evil. But appearances can be deceiving. Audiences will find out November 4th when Tower Heist hits theaters.

While Tower Heist in up in the air, the gang behind The Hangover 2 has a solid pedigree, both critically and financially, making success theirs to lose. Here’s a still from the film, demonstrating that, yes, they are actually in Thailand. They’re sweaty and there’s a monkey. See? Thailand. Zach Galifiankis is looking a little more like a white supremacist than anything else with that shaved head, but other than that, Bradley Cooper is still the sexy one, Ed Helms still looks overwhelmed, and the baby is now a monkey. Yeah, this will make $200 million. (Playlist)

We are alone in the universe.

In its second weekend in theaters, Little Fockers made $26 million, bringing its overall total to $103 million, and proving once and for all that there is no god.

True Grit, the critically acclaimed Coen brothers‘ film, came in second with $24.5 million, and Tron: Legacy snagged third with $18 million. But none of this matters, considering we are living in a cold, meaningless world where Little Fockers reigns supreme. Gott ist tot. (Vulture)

I actually liked Meet the Parents and The Fockers. By Little Fockers, it’s even worn off on my forgiving nature. Little Fockers is a clear example of a trilogy running out of steam and repeating itself in part three. At least it’s not an example of the superior second part. That would make Meet the Fockers this trilogy’s Empire Strikes Back.

Greg and Pam Focker (Ben Stiller and Teri Polo) are planning their twins’ fifth birthday party. That’s all the excuse you need for the in-laws to visit, but they go through a list of tasks Greg has to accomplish in his busy suburban life. Drug rep Andi Garcia (Jessica Alba) hires Greg to be the spokesperson for the erectile dysfunction drug Sustengo (get it?) and he needs the money to pay for the kids’ fancy school, Early Human School.

The kooky in-laws are all introduced with annoying schtick. Jack Byrnes (Robert DeNiro) defibrillates himself during a heart attack. Roz Focker (Barbra Streisand) has her own TV show where she talks about musical condoms. Bernie Focker (Dustin Hoffman) is off in Spain mastering flamenco dancing. Roz actually calls Bernie’s late life crisis “MANopause,” and Greg repeats it in case it’s funnier the second time.

The whole movie is a lot of setup for a dumb payoff. An extended dinner table scene goes through an explanation of the Byrnes family tree, Greg cooking turkey, his son Henry’s obsession with lizards, and Greg’s lame attempt at turkey carving, all to pay off with Greg cutting his finger and spraying blood on Jack. A drawn out argument with a construction crew in the backyard leads to Greg trying to move a truck on is own and accidentally dumping a load of sand onto Jack. The crew leader is played by Harvey Keitel, but it’s not the long-awaited Mean Streets reunion you were waiting for.

Pam gets the flu on the day she has to meet the principal of the Early Human School. She actually says, “Honey, what am I going to do?” That’s a sitcom plot beneath “Everybody Loves Raymond.” It’s all so Jack and Greg can go meet Prudence (Laura Dern) together and get mistaken as a couple. At least Prudence sees through homophobia humor. The tables are turned on Jack when he has a five hour erection and Greg has to give him a shot in the dick. It’s come to this, DeNiro as the bitch in a Something About Mary scene.

The film climaxes in a blatant fistfight between Jack and Greg, which may be the confrontation Fockerphiles have been waiting for. The film misses the best opportunity for a payoff when Greg speaks for Sustengo. We hear that he referenced Jack’s lie detector test and his “I’m watching you” schtick. We should see that. That would pay off the entire series. Instead they save it for a gag in the end credits. Make the movie funny before you work on the credits. Plus, there’s a YouTube remix joke that still would have played in the credits if they’d put the actual speech in the movie.

Greg acts more pathetic around his kids than he does around other grown-ups. By the time Jack actually suggests Pam leave Greg for Kevin (Owen Wilson), it’s not cute anymore. Maybe when they were only engaged he was being overprotective, but now he’s talking about breaking up a family. At least this Fockers is only around 95 minutes so there’s less of it.

Director: Paul Weitz

Cast: Ben Stiller, Robert De Niro, Owen Wilson, Jessica Alba, Teri Polo, Harvey Keitel, Barbra Streisand

Synopsis: The Focker and the Byrnes families brace themselves for the arrival of a baby.

Release Date: December 22, 2010

Future Oscar host James Franco and guy who dresses embarrassingly at the Oscars Ben Stiller are set to join Noah Baumbach‘s next project. In While We’re Young, Franco will play one half of a hip, young Brooklyn couple who inspires Stiller and his wife to spice things up in their life and relationship. It’s like Keeping Up With The Joneses, but in this instance the Joneses wear skinny jeans and drink Pork Slap beer.

Offers have gone out to Greta Gerwig and Cate Blanchett to play these guys’s tenderonis, but neither has committed yet. What’s the over/under that The Arcade Fire will be on this soundtrack? (Vulture)

Not that much has changed since we watched the last trailer through our face-palms. Ben Stiller still sprays blood all over Thanksgiving dinner, and Bobby D. still takes a hypodermic needle to his sopressata. What’s new this time is Owen Wilson Spock-pinching a toddler, and Dustin Hoffman showing up for his paycheck. Between the penis humor and getting covered in Dustin Hoffman kisses, I don’t know what De Niro is thinking. Doesn’t he realize that Martin Scorsese might see this?

Daaaaamn, De Niro. You look gooooooood. In these new Little Fockers character one-sheets, all signs of aging have been Photoshopped away from the stars’ faces. Notice how Robert De Niro doesn’t have any lines on his forehead. Even newborns have those. The guy is 67-years-old. Leave some lines on there so he doesn’t look like a cyborg! I’m surprised they didn’t airbrush his mole off while they were at it. It’s a huge deterrent for audiences. Why would anyone want to see a movie full of actors with imperfections? I’ll stay home and watch "Gossip Girl," thank you very much.

Check out Ben Stiller’s creepy, wrinkle-free skin after the jump…

(Variety)

^{He can’t resist a photo op.}

The 1st Assistant Camera on Brett Ratner‘s The Tower Heist had better not forget to put a long lens on the order. Precious star Gabourey Sidibe has picked up at unknown role on the film, as has "Eastbound and Down’s" very funny Michael Pena.

They’ll join Ben Stiller and Eddie Murphy in the film that pits the little guy against a crooked Bernie Madoff type played by Alan Alda. Other than that, we don’t have a lot of details. But now we know that the heist most likely won’t involve taking the stairs. And before you chastise me in the comments section for making a fat joke at Sidibe’s expense, you should know it was a lazy joke at Pena’s expense. And no, not because he’s Mexican. Man, I can’t win with you guys. (Deadline)

^{From that time all these guys were in Paris together.}

Trying to break up his stint of accepting bad movie roles, Eddie Murphy has decided to appear in a bad movie role that won’t require a fat suit. Not to be worn by him at least. Murphy will be joining Ben Stiller in Brett Ratner‘s Tower Heist.

This the second time that Murphy was attached to this film. He was the initial star years ago while it was in development. He passed, then Chris Rock passed, and then Chris Tucker passed. Then Ben Stiller (the next logical choice) took over the role. No word yet on which supporting character Murphy will play, but I’ve got a good feeling that Ben Stiller will learn the consequences of touching his radio. (EW)

Never Let Me Go director Mark Romanek is setting up his future projects and hoping to work with Ben Stiller. The two have been talking about teaming for A Parking Ticket, a dark comedy about a father who decides to fight a parking ticket in order to teach his daughter about the judicial system. Of course, he ends up on death row.

No word yet on whether Stiller will tap into playing an angry character, a nebbish character, or a hip-hop spouting character in a fat suit. There will definitely be a scene with a dance-off, I’m sure. This IS a Ben Stiller movie we’re talking about here. (Worst Previews)

Back in February we reported that Justin Theroux was spending some time at Fashion Week in Paris doing research for his gig writing and directing the Zoolander sequel. It appears he’s had his fill of brie-stuffed croissants and scantily clad models, and is back in The States collaborating with Ben Stiller. At least, that’s what Stiller said via his Twitter account.

The question is, can you really trust the lead actor and executive producer on the film? And the answer to that question is yes. So for now, Zoolander 2 is moving along swimmingly with Jonah Hill still being eyed for the villain. No word yet if Owen Wilson will reprise his roll as Hansel, but Stiller has gone on record saying that the sequel couldn’t be made without him. I assume that is due to Wilson being such an integral part of the Zoolander world, not because he has a penchant for spitefully burning down film sets. (/Film)

After letting Tower Heist sit on the shelf for almost four years, Universal has given it the green light with Ben Stiller starring, Brett Ratner directing, and Imagine’s Brian Grazer producing. Because if anyone can make a project work that hasn’t been working, it’s the mastermind behind X-Men 3. Deadline has the deets:

Ben Stiller stars as the overworked manager of a luxury building who, along with other staff, lost their pensions to a Bernie Madoff-like Wall Street crook. It so happens that the fraudster is being held under house arrest in the luxury penthouse apartment upstairs, and the manager and four cohorts figure a heist will make them whole.

Bumbling, inept idiots try to pull off a major heist. Have we not seen this concept countless times already? And not that I have anything against Stiller, but I don’t understand why he’d want to play this type of character again. He’s already been a bumbling security guard twice in the Night at the Museum movies, and a bumbling (insert occupation) in almost everything else. Now he’s relying on Ratner to save a stale concept. Unless that concept is a cupcake, I’m not seeing him succeeding.

_{Early test screening reaction.}

Universal Pictures has dropped a new international trailer for Little Fockers. The boner stabbings from the U.S. trailer have been replaced with references to The Godfather and Jaws, and of course, vomiting. So this movie has Viagra jokes, puke jokes, overused film references jokes, bleeding all over people jokes, and Jessica Alba. One out of five ain’t bad. Still no sign of Dustin Hoffman shoe-horned in to up the zany antics. Maybe after viewing this trailer he’ll agree to a pity cameo.

Check out the trailer after the jump…

Little Fockers — Trailer – Watch more Movie Trailers

Little Fockers is in trouble, and Universal Studios is deperately looking for a solution. Earlier in the week, Deadline reported that execs think a week of pickups with the principal cast in September is required to bring the movie closer to a viewable state. They were even at one point considering replacing director Paul Weitz with producer-writer John Hamburg, but that tactic got "rejected after Hamburg visited the set one weekend." He obviously wasn’t pleased with the BBQ chicken quesadillas craft services slaved over.

Now Universal believes the answer to their problems comes in the form of a short, Jewish, 73 year-old man named Dustin Hoffman. Vulture reports that the studio is "looking into whether Hoffman might consider a last-minute reprise of his role as Bernie Focker in an effort to funny-up the comedy." Yeah, let’s shoe horn in the arrival of Ben Stiller’s character’s neurotic Jewish father and all will be well. If Dustin doesn’t cut it, then we’ll fly in Barbra Streisand. If she doesn’t work out, we’ll add a ton more foreskin jokes, say our prayers, and let the chips fall where they may. Somewhere, some Universal exec has a thousand-yard stare and is tracing the trigger of a revolver with his index finger.

I chose the most suggestive picture I could snap for Universal’s Little Fockers trailer, and it doesn’t even get across the actual horror that unfolds in the scene. The Paul Weitz-directed threequel to the Meet the Parents blockbuster stars Ben Stiller, Robert De Niro, Teri Polo, Owen Wilson, Blythe Danner, Jessica Alba, Laura Dern, Harvey Keitel, Barbra Streisand, and Dustin Hoffman. You can practically smell the money wafting off the screen. There’s even a turkey carving joke involving someone’s thumb. I won’t tell you who, but he plays the neurotic klutz in all of these films. And most of the other films he does.

Little Fockers starts raking it in at the holiday box office December 22, 2010.

Check out the trailer and full synopsis below. 

Little Fockers Trailer – Watch more Movie Trailers

In HD at Apple.

It has taken 10 years, two little Fockers with wife Pam (Polo) and countless hurdles for Greg to finally get “in” with his tightly wound father-in-law, Jack. After the cash-strapped dad takes a job moonlighting for a drug company, however, Jack’s suspicions about his favorite male nurse come roaring back. When Greg and Pam’s entire clan—including Pam’s lovelorn ex, Kevin (Owen Wilson)—descends for the twins’ birthday party, Greg must prove to the skeptical Jack that he’s fully capable as the man of the house. But with all the misunderstandings, spying and covert missions, will Greg pass Jack’s final test and become the family’s next patriarch…or will the circle of trust be broken for good?

Looks like Ben Stiller and Noah Baumbach are no longer interested in adapting the childrens’ book Mr. Popper’s Penguins and no doubt making it depressing, so Fox is looking to director Mark Waters (Mean Girls) and Jim Carrey to fill their spots. Goodbye hipster soundtrack, hello funny faces!

The LA Times says nothing is confirmed at this point, and that Owen Wilson and Jack Black are also being considered. Sounds to me like someone at Fox is just shouting out names and hoping two of them are available, interested, and not dealing with personal sh*t at the moment. Zack Galifianakis! Martin Scorsese! Cobb salad! At this point, the studio exec takes his lunch from the mail room guy and shoves him out of the conference room. (SlashFilm)

Paramount Pictures is taking its UNTITLED Les Grossman Project way too far. A press release announcing the film treated Grossman as if he was a real "mega-producer" rather than a somewhat-humorous fictional character. While I wasn’t big fan, the release does allow me to use block quotes, and I’m a big fan of that!

Paramount Pictures and MTV Films announced today that they are set to develop a movie around mega-producer Les Grossman. The announcement comes on the heels of Grossman’s groundbreaking and visionary production of the soon-to-be Emmy® award-winning 2010 MTV Movie Awards Sunday night. Tom Cruise, along with Ben Stiller and Stuart Cornfeld of Red Hour Films will produce and have secured the life rights to Grossman.

See what I mean?  Block quotes rule.

The release goes on to say that Grossman played himself in Tropic Thunder, even though we all know it was Tom Cruise. It also claims that Tom Crusie will be portraying the real Grossman in the new movie, even though there is no real Grossman to portray! I need a map to keep up with all the ins and outs. I haven’t been this god damn confused since Garth Brooks was dating the awful rocker, Chris Gaines.