Screen Junkies » BEAR GRYLLS http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Mon, 11 Aug 2014 20:01:05 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Snake Bite Transforms ‘Man Vs Wild’ Producer’s Foot Into A ‘Walking Dead’ Prop http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/snake-bite-transforms-man-vs-wild-producers-foot-into-a-walking-dead-prop/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/snake-bite-transforms-man-vs-wild-producers-foot-into-a-walking-dead-prop/#comments Wed, 01 May 2013 17:54:02 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=254661 Do not click this link until Doomsday.

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Bear Grylls took time out from his busy schedule of eating raw animal nards last night to tweet the most disgusting picture that he possibly could. And that’s saying a lot for him.

Here is the message sent along with the grotesque image:

“Our man vs wild producer suffering from a brutal snake bite – fighting the injury with courage.”

Intriguing? Yes. But don’t look down any further. Please don’t look down any further. This is far more gross than what you’re expecting. Looking any further after these warnings is akin to reading from the Necromicon and unleashing psychological hell beasts on your mind.

Okay. I’ve prepped you. Here it is:

The above picture is an approximation of the injury just in case you think you want to pull out now. Honestly, I’m not sure why you’re intent on seeing this. But if I must share, I will.

We here at ScreenJunkies would like everyone to join us in wishing this Man Vs. Wild producer got this on tape. (Bear Grylls Twitter)

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WHAT’S ON TV TONIGHT: WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 19th, 2009 http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-wednesday-august-19th-2009/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-wednesday-august-19th-2009/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 A sh*t ton of kids, explosions, muscular women, a boa constrictor, and clown tears. Tonight's TV Preview is my 12th birthday all over again.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

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A sh*t ton of kids, explosions, muscular women, a boa constrictor, and clown tears. Tonight’s TV Preview is my 12th birthday all over again.

CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP

NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

 

OCTOMOM: THE INCREDIBLE UNSEEN FOOTAGE
Network:
FOX
Time: 8 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: She rose to infamy earlier this year when she popped out eight kids in a bid to get rich and famous on TV. Of course her plan failed as no network would sink to the level of exploita– oh right. I forgot that FOX exists. Their ethics are as loose as her womb.

 

 


BOBB’E SAYS
Network:
CARTOON NETWORK
Time: 8 – 8:30PM

Reasons to watch: Hilarious kid actor Bobb’e J. Thompson has a new show where he gives advice on style, success, and gaining popularity. Can a thirteen year-old really dispense useful sage wisdom? This one can. Did you see Role Models? He’s wise beyond his years. In fact, his precociousness has led to some debate at Screen Junkies HQ. Patrick reckons that he’s an adult in a kid’s body a la Andy Milonakis and I purport that he’s actually an eternal child vampire a la Kirsten Dunst in Interview With The Vampire.

 

 


XXX: STATE OF THE UNION
Network:
FX
Time: 8 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: When history looks back, the original XXX will be remembered as being completely stupid. It was so dumb that I’m surprised the filmmakers managed to save some retarded for the sequel. At least this time around they ditch the extreme sports junkie angle and get down to a more straight-up action movie. After all, the action is all this movie has to offer. I recommend watching it with the volume turned off.

 

 


TRAGIC SIDE OF COMEDY
Network:
BIOGRAPHY
Time: 9 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: This special focuses on the tragic lives of comedians. Amongst those profiled are John Belushi, Farley, and Phil Hartman. Twelve years later and Farley’s absence is still sorely felt. Our current funny fat guys have really got to step it up. I’m just chuckling over here. Not guffawing.

 

 


MAN VS. WILD
Network:
DISCOVERY
Time: 10 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: Tonight, Bear Gryll’s has to contend with a 9-foot boa constrictor. Well, he doesn’t have to. He chooses to. Just like the picture above where he chooses to eat a zebra carcass. This guy is nuts. He’s like a Tom Green that housewives want to bang.

 

 


TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY
Network:
E!
Time: 10 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: The world of female bodybuilding is explored. If you have any love or respect for your penis, you’ll read a book. A book with pictures of non-swollen women in it.

WHO’S ON LATE

LETTERMAN
Mike Myers; Ken Burns

CONAN (repeat)
Judd Apatow; Meryl Streep; The Fray

KIMMEL (repeat)
Katherine Heigl; David and Shaun Cassidy

FERGUSON
Dane Cook; Peter Travers

FALLON
(repeat)
Betty White; Opie and Anthony; Martha Wainwright

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WHAT’S ON TV TONIGHT: WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 12th 2009 http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-wednesday-august-12th-2009/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-wednesday-august-12th-2009/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Blindfolds, bickering, shackles, mounds of snow, and serious daddy issues. All things you might find in Pamela Anderson's bedroom. Your TV preview begins now!CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

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Blindfolds, bickering, shackles, mounds of snow, and serious daddy issues. All things you might find in Pamela Anderson’s bedroom. Your TV preview begins now!

CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP

NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

 

STAR WARS EPISODE VI: RETURN OF THE JEDI
Network:
Spike TV
Time: 9PM – Midnight

Reasons to watch: Ahh, Return of the Jedi. The final chapter in the Star Wars saga. Go back to a more simple time before George Lucas took your childhood and dunked it in the shitter flushing repeatedly. I’ll take Ewoks over that pod race anyday.

MAN VS. WILD
Network:
Discovery
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: Bear goes to the Arctic Circle to hunt wild reindeer. Nice try Grylls. We all know that you’re secretly hunting Santa. You keep out of that workshop, you hear me? Those toys are for ALL OF US.

 


CRISS ANGEL: MINDFREAK
Network:
A&E
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: In the opener for Season 5, the wizard is shackled and buried alive in a transparent coffin beneath ice and snow. I’ve heard of being buried beneath snow. And I’ve heard of being buried beneath ice. But never the two together. Consider my mind freaked!

 

MICHAEL & MICHAEL HAVE ISSUES
Network: Comedy Central
Time: 10:30 – 11PM
 
Reasons to watch: A college booking causes trouble between Showalter and Black. They’re alway fighting, these two. I wish they would hurry up and just bang already.
 
 
TOP CHEF MASTERS
Network: Bravo
Time: 10 – 11PM
 
Reasons to watch: The final four contestants are given the task of cooking while blindfolded. Last time I tried that I wound up finding LEGO pieces in my lasagna and burned my penis pretty badly on the panini press.

WHO’S ON LATE?

LETTERMAN (repeat)
Sacha Baron Cohen, Joel McHale

CONAN
Gordon Ramsay, B.J. Novak

KIMMEL (repeat)
Larry King, Marissa Miller, Chester French

FERGUSON
Eric Bana, Holly Williams

FALLON
Jon Hamm, Hugh Dancy, Kitty Daisy and Lewis

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