It’s like both Canadian rock stars became instantly and completely self-aware and said, “Screw it. Let’s really see how far we can take this.” I mean, what are the odds of two Canadians falling in love with each other? One in a million? One in a billion? There’s a 100% chance that their babies will be Canadian! 100!

Let’s talk about Avril’s choice in men up to this point. She married (not “dated,” “married”) Deryck Whibley, the lead singer of Sum 41. Strike one. She dated Brody Jenner. Strike two. It’s as if she didn’t read any of the articles written about her bad choices when she decided that it would be a good idea to complete the trifecta with Chad Kroeger, a guy that would probably be a jetski salesman if he wasn’t the lead singer of Nickelback.

I would chastise Kroeger more for his decision to marry Avril Lavigne, but of course he’s going to marry Avril Lavigne. If you were asked two years ago who you thought Chad Kroeger would eventually settle down with, you would have said, “I dunno. Some Playmate, or maybe like Avril Lavigne or something.”

And you would have been right. He’s gonna marry Avril Lavigne or something.

What’s perhaps more pressing than their nuptials is the fact that they recorded a song together. That’s how they met. It will be #1 in Canada for 32 straight weeks, destroying the record previously held by both Barenaked Ladies and Rush, but will not crack the top 100 anywhere else in the world.

Oh, and Nickelback did the song “Hero” for the Spider-Man soundtrack, so there’s your movie relevancy.

It has been announced that screeching retard Avril Lavigne will contribute a song to Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland soundtrack. The song, entilted "Alice Underground", has been selected for the soundtrack and is reportedly going to be the first single off her upcoming album Daddy I$$uez (working title). Alice in Wonderland‘s soundtrack will also include songs by All Time Low and an ungodly collaboration from Mark Hoppus of Blink-182 and Pete Wentz of Fall Out Boy. Wentz points out that this collaboration is only for fun and will not lead to a future band or project. Though if they are to ever combine their forces, might I recommend the band name SHART? It seems appropriate given the key ingredients of this union. (MTV)