We found a McDonald's Ireland site that lets you Avatarize yourself, so of course we turned celebrities into Na'vi. Enjoy the fruits of our stupidity.Whoopi GoldbergWillem DeFoeTilda SwintonMichael JacksonCarrot Top
The "Reverse Na'vi-girl" has already been perfected. Someone over at Hustler had the brilliant idea to turn the second (soon maybe first) most profitable movie of all time into a porno. Give that man a promotion! In addition to Hustler, he must have an endless subscription to DUH!!!!!! Magazine.The nakey, sweaty, blue-smeary version of Avatar will be called This Ain't Avatar XXX, and it's just one of a few forthcoming porn parodies from Hustler. They also plan to "produce" This Ain't Curb Your Enthusiasm XXX, This Ain't Glee XXX, and This Ain't CSI XXX: Chatsworth. Another genius must by scribbling these names down feverishly in the titling department.In fact, the titles are confusing and misleading altogether. Is this NOT Avatar XXX? Does that mean it's just the Avatar without all the moaning and thrusting? If I'm browsing the shelves of my favorite adult bookstore for the latest Avatar porn why would I want to buy the one called This AIN'T Avatar XXX? I want This IS Avatar XXX. I want the IS! All of the blue, long-tailed, pointy-earred filthy IS they can crame into one poorly executed film! Just don't give it to me in 3D. My senses aren't prepared for that onslaught… (Empire)
"Maybe swinging by Taco Bell before the show was a mistake on my part."Last night at the 2010 Golden Globe Awards, host Ricky Gervais talked about his penis and helped hand out some statues. Avatar won for Best Motion Picture Drama and Best Director. Michael C. Hall and John Lithgow dominated for their work on Dexter. The Hurt Locker walked away empty-handed. Maybe the film will have better luck at The Academy Awards where the winners are based on merit, not studio checkbooks. *almost keeps a straight face*CHECK OUT THE FULL LIST OF WINNERS AFTER THE JUMP…
"I duddits!!"We warned you that it would take over the world but you but you didn't listen. Had you shuttered up your windows, none of us would be in this mess. James Cameron's Avatar dominated the box office for a third weekend in a row, easily outpacing every other release and all of Tiger Woods' mistresses combined. And on a global level, the film has passed the $1 billion mark. Think of how many of these hats that kind of money can buy.There are only four other films in the billion dollar club. They are Cameron's own Titanic ($1.843 billion), The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King ($1.119 billion), Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest ($1.066 billion), and The Dark Knight ($1.001 billion). With a $1.022 billion take after only 21 days, expect Avatar to give Titanic a run for its money.With this surge of wealth, you can also expect James Cameron to spend the next ten years developing a new technology in order to make it rain more realistically on them hoes. (THR)
It's one thing to work years creating a breakthrough technology that will revolutionize cinema as we know it, and it's another thing to work years figuring out how to ilegally record the aforementioned breakthrough. Bootlegging is an art, and bootlegging Avatar is a bootlegging artist's Mona Lisa. (via IWatchStuff)We give credit where credit is due with these links.25 Hottest Women of 2009 (HolyTaco) Top 10 Embarrassing Sports Moments of 2009 (TotalProSports) Millenium Falcon Bed Guarantees Zero Sex (TheChive) 100 Twitter Accounts for Guys (Maxim) James Cameron Tells Fan to F**k Off (FilmDrunk) 20 Amazing Cheese Sculptures (SuperTremendous) Most Painful Movie-Going Experiences of the Aughts (Pajiba) Pics of Olivia Wilde's Booty (CelebJihad) Really Creepy Real Children's Books (Unreality) Sexiest Magazine Covers of 2009 (Asylum) 35 Hot Girls Wearing Santa Hats (RegretfulMorning) 2009 Chickipedia Hot 100 (MadeMan) Top 10 NASCAR Women of 2009 (AllLeftTurns) Massive Soccer Hooligan Brawl (NothingToxic) Atom's Best of 2009 (Atom)
Thanks to a focus on gimmicky tactics to get butts into theater seats, 3-D cinema is in the middle of its biggest success since its inception. You may not believe this, but 3-D has been around almost as long as movies themselves. But, feature-length theatrical 3-D movies have only been around for about the past 50 years. 3-D has had its ups and downs, but every few years it pops up again, either trying to build on previous successes in the market, or finding a new way to exploit the technology. Sometimes, it's even used to exploit kids' fandom of Michael Jackson (see "Captain EO").I decided to look at a few of the features that have proved important creating 3-D cinematic history – sometimes good, sometimes bad, sometimes very bad.
Posted below are six new clips from a small indie movie called Avatar that comes out December 18th. Like most other bloggers, I refuse to watch them because I want to get the most out of my expensive-ass IMAX ticket. Plus I like wearing shades when I see movies. You know, so the stuff jumps out at you and stuff, like Captain EO. If you like to experience your epic action-adventure movies on a much smaller, 2D screen, then by all means click play below.
The comedy troupe The Landline posted a new video on their YouTube page that doesn't shed the best light on Avatar director, Mr. James Cameron. Apparently, Cameron is really jonesing for some new effects to see his blue mutant cat people fully realized in gorgeous CG, and he's willing to go to extreme lengths to secure funding. The Landline members include Tim Martin, Charlie Todd, Michael Dubin, Jonathan Fernandez, Jill Donnelly, Jared Neumark, Ben Rodgers and Mike Antonucci. You can check out their YouTube page, and a slew of other funny videos here. James Cameron is Jonesing for Effects – Watch more Funny Videos
Avatar – Thanator Chase Clip – Watch more Funny VideosHey guess what, there's more Avatar news. But I gotta admit the above clip is pretty baaaaad aaaaass. When I catch the whole chase scene in glorious, mind bending Cameron-ized 3D I'll probably crap my pantaloons. I have to say, I'm getting used to the blue mutant cat people. Getting used to them indeed… (via IGN)
There's been some question whether HMFIC James Cameron's Avatar will turn a profit at the box office. Many speculate that the most expensive movie ever costs a whopping $500 million, but Fox Filmed Entertainment chairman Jim Gianopolous has scoffed at that figure. Though he won't admit final costs, he did say that number has no relationship to the actual cost of the movie. "I have no doubt about that," was his response when asked if the rumble in the jungle will turn a profit. Considering that Cameron's last film Titanic raked in $1,853,300,000 worldwide, I'm sure Avatar will do fine. However to ensure success, they may want to add a CGI Robert Pattinson. Just for good measure. (Reuters)
In an attempt to convince people over the age of 50 that it's okay if they go see a movie with blue mutant cat people in it, James Cameron appeared on 60 Minutes over the weekend. Cameron spoke with Morley Safer, the target demographic for the show (people on the cusp of death), and discussed Avatar, showed behind the scenes footage, and proclaimed that he indeed can be a real b*tch on set. There's even mention of an Avatar 10. Cameron most likely intends to complete this after he perfects cryonics and rises from a frozen state in 100 years, when technology can meet his demands for Smell-O-Vision. Watch CBS News Videos Online
150 minutes. That's the final number for Avatar's running time, not 7 hours like some of us expected. Of course when you add credits, trailers, commercials, and, since it's the holidays, a campaign for some charity you won't donate to, we COULD be looking at around 7 hours.Cameron has said that one of the contraints on his decision about running time was the Imax runs, which only allow a movie that's using the system to run 170 minutes at the longest. Of course, if Cameron really wanted a version longer than 170 minutes I believe he would have just invented a new Imax system. Cameron doesn't work with Imax, Imax works with him.(via THR)
"That's a huuuge bitch!!!!"There are conflicting reports about Avatar's final pricetag. Cameron and crew insist that the film cost $230 million but the New York Times guesses that it will top out around $500 million after marketing costs. At any rate, that's a lot of scratch. Is it even possible for the film to make back its money? Even if you factor in die-hard Cameron fans, the Christmas crowd, and Michelle Rodriguez's relatives, it still seems like kind of a stretch.But don't worry. FOX has a plan. The studio is going to release Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeekquel (because chipmunks squeek?) one week after Avatar's release. Sound plan FOX. If at first you don't succeed, show them your sh*t-eating chipmunks. (io9)
Avatar Trailer – Watch more Funny Videos Literally five minutes after we posted the international trailer for Avatar, Yahoo went and posted the domestic one in HD like a bunch of cocky biatches. I apologize for the name calling, Yahoo. You are not cocky biatches… I'm just a lazy biatch. If you like versions of trailers that are sharper, louder, and have less Elvish subtitles in them, than you're sure to prefer this one over the grainy one the foreigners have to watch. And don't you dare call me xenophobic. In Pandora, the blue cat Rastafarians think of xenophobia as a synonym for love. Ride these links like a hybrid pterodactyl dragon! Letters to Annoying People on Halloween (HolyTaco) Yankees Fan and His Crazy Motorized Wheelchair (TotalProSports) You Can Order This Hot Bride Online (TheChive) Marty Krofft is Puffin' Stuff (FilmDrunk) Kitten Eats with Chopsticks (SuperTremendous) Ten Most Badass Jesuses (Pajiba) Kanye West Interrupts Taylor Swift Being a Nazi (CelebJihad) What Disney Taught Us Growing Up (Unreality) Sasha Grey is Wonder Woman for Halloween (Asylum) Susan Was Just Jerkin' Around About Sex for Tickets (BustedCoverage) 25 NSFW Vampire Babes (RegretfulMorning) The Art of Fantasy Football (MadeMan) Kyle Busch is a Bitch Costume (AllLeftTurns)
The Internet has been subsisting on a grainy bootleg version of the full-length Avatar trailer for nearly a week. Well, those days are behind us. Though the domestic trailer is not due to debut online until tomorrow, America has, much like the evil Marines in the film, raped Thailand of their international trailer. Are we sure this is Thai? The subtitles look more like Elvish or the frosting trim on a gingerbread house.Anyway, Avatar opens on December 18th and is about dinosaurs eating army men. What are your thoughts? Do you plan on seeing Jim Cameron's 3D Rumble in the Jungle??
Sorry for the crappy bootleg version, but it's the best quality that exists online right now. You'll have to go to the theaters this weekend to see a better version of this three-minute Cliff's Notes epic on the big screen. Then… AND ONLY THEN… can we fairly judge the film's entire worth.
Finally the long national wait for the actually good Avatar trailer is over. Coming Soon (tee-hee) reports that a 3 minute and 30 second trailer featuring a hefty amount of story will premiere in theaters this Friday. No word yet on which film it will be attached to but this is said to be THE trailer. The most epic, shart-inducing, nipple-tingling visual feat ever rendered. The film is set to open in less than two months so expect a huge marketing push for this one. In other words, it's about to get Avatarded in here.Shut-ins and bubble people sadly will have to wait until Thursday, October 29th to view the trailer online. Damn! That's not nearly enough time to hone and perfect the intricacies of my CCH Pounder Halloween costume.
CLICK ON PHOTO TO SEE COMICPlayboy and Quentin Tarantino have teamed up to create a comic strip adaptation of a scene from Inglourious Basterds with reports that the director hand-picked and edited the piece. Here's the scene in the director's own words, "Okay, so. The Basterds come upon this Nazi and he's like this real bad Von Trapp-hating motherf&*%er, y'know? So. And then Brad Pitt's all like, 'Listen David Hasslehoff. I's Aldo Raines and I didn't come all the way to Germany for the strudel. We's in the Natzi-killin' business and we's here for your scalp. Today the hills ain't alive with the sound of music, Colonel Clink-looking motherf%$^ker. They's alive with the sound of killin'.' So. Y'know? (*pause; grows quiet*) May I have another Orangina please, Scott?"SIDENOTE: It wasn't until just now that I realized comic book Brad Pitt closely resembles loveable drunkard Andy Capp. And enjoy these glourious morning links…Get your tickets for Avatar's sneak peek. (THR)Brett Ratner directing Youngblood, wants Robert Pattinson. (MTV)Zombieland poster, err.. posted. (Empire)Saw scribes return to television. (/Film)Hottie Abbie Cornish talks Sucker Punch. (First Showing)Build your own Batman tumbler. (Cinematical)
Fellow Junkies, Comic-Con has come and gone, as has Screen Junkies from San Diego. It was our first ever trip down to Comic-Con and it will not be our last, but we learned a lot. Mostly, we learned that you have to surrender to the fact that you can't cover EVERYTHING at Comic-Con. Here's everything we DID cover: AVATAR Video clips of James Cameron speaking about AVATAR just moments after having unveiled 25-minutes of the film to Hall H @ Comic-Con.
Alls I gots ta say is… let's get Avatarded in here! We just got out of the AVATAR press conference with none other than James Cameron, and raced back to a quiet place so we could squeal like schoolgirls… and upload these videos of the visionary director talking earnestly about his project. The huge news revealed today is that on August 21st – "Avatar Day" – select movie theaters and online outlets will be screening 15 minutes of the film for FREE. That's how confident Twentieth Century Fox and Cameron must be about their product. In fact, rumor has it that Fox head Tom Rothman cried like a baby during the screening in the San Diego Convention Center's Hall H*. * Not true. So settle in and enjoy Mr. Cameron wax on about his little movie. PART 1: Cameron on the film's character design.
In the past seven years we've seen a glut of Asian movies remade on our shores. Some of them fantastic, others craptastic. Well, now it looks like the shoe is on the other foot. The Playlist reports that House of Flying Daggers director Zhang Yimou is remaking the Coen Brothers classic Blood Simple in his homeland of China. I hope this does well and leads to more retreads on foreign soil because I personally would love to see a Japanese version of Goodfellas. How great would that be? All the gangsters would dress like Elvis and gesture wildly like Lenny and Squiggy. "What's that? You think I'm clown? I amuse you, hound dog?"Oh my God. This film needs to be made. Somebody get Japan on the phone. Perhaps I can interest you in these other morning headlines…Avatar footage screened at Cinema Expo. Jaws subsequently dropped. (THR)David Fincer to SuperPoke filmgoers. (First Showing)Joseph Gordon-Levitt: "GI Joe is about the acting." (NY Mag)Transformers scribes discuss the nuts and bolts of ROTF. (io9)Sigourney Weaver on Ghostbusters and Alien sequels. (Cinematical) 7 Nagging Inconsistencies in Back to the Future. (Nerdist)
Director: James Cameron Cast: Sam Worthington, Sigourney Weaver, Michelle Rodriguez, Zoe Saldana, Giovanni Ribisi Synopsis: A group of humans are confronted by a distant planet's native population, forcing them into battle Genre: Action/Science Fiction Release Date: December 18, 2009