Screen Junkies » ashton kutcher. http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Fri, 29 Aug 2014 17:39:03 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 ‘Two And A Half Men’ Renewed, Loses A Cast Member, And Will Never Die http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/two-and-a-half-men-renewed-loses-a-cast-member-and-will-never-die/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/two-and-a-half-men-renewed-loses-a-cast-member-and-will-never-die/#comments Mon, 29 Apr 2013 16:57:08 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=254605 Chuck Lorre is also winning.

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Two and a Half Men seems like the result of a cursed monkey’s paw. Flat jokes, boring plot-lines, bland stars. Despite those small details, after ten years on the air, the show continues to be one of CBS’s top performers and rakes in hundreds of millions of dollars in syndication. So, of course, the eleventh season is happening however they may need to rename it the kinda-gay sounding: Two Men.

Deadline reports that Angus T. Jones, who previously talked mad sh*t about the sitcom, won’t be returning as a regular. Jones may appear as a recurring character around his college schedule but that deal has not been locked in yet.

Jones’ departure is not surprising. He had indicated his desire to go to college and originally planned to leave after last season until he had a change of heart at the last minute and signed on to return. But with his character Jake in the Army, Jones has appeared only sporadically on the show this season. And then there was the young actor’s ill-advised comments in a religious video testimonial, in which he called Two And A Half Men “filth,” which went viral in November. Jones later apologized and subsequently returned to work.

Now, back to the monkey paw theory. Both Ashton Kutcher and Jon Cryer will return to spew drivel for salaries of $700K per episode. There’s no way that they enjoy the work. Even if it had the best writing on television, eleven years is a prison sentence. Somebody needs to find the monkey paw Jon Cryer wished upon and destroy. For his sake and ours.

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Charlie Sheen, As We All Are, Tired Of Pretending Ashton Kutcher Doesn’t Suck http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/charlie-sheen-as-we-all-are-tired-of-pretending-ashton-kutcher-doesnt-suck/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/charlie-sheen-as-we-all-are-tired-of-pretending-ashton-kutcher-doesnt-suck/#comments Fri, 17 Feb 2012 22:30:46 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=245611 Tiger blood, and what have you.

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Charlie Sheen, thinking that weekly calls into TMZ count as psychological treatment, dialed up the gossip site and decided to let people know how he really felt about Two and a Half Men.

He doesn’t like it. In fact, what he said was, ”I’m tired of lying. I’m tired of pretending like the show doesn’t suck. I’m tired of pretending like Ashton [Kutcher] doesn’t suck.”

We all are, Charlie. We all are.

He then kept going.

“I’m tired of pretending like they’re not competely adrift,” he added. “Because when you take away the anchor from your show, which they stupidly did, you go adrift. And these guys are approaching like salvage vessel.”

So it “sucks,” but if that’s not artful enough for you, the show is also “approaching like salvage vessel.” And you can tell he’s serious because he’s not using any articles in that latter description. I’m not sure what you do when Charlie Sheen is calling you “adrift,” but it’s probably high time for some serious introspection when that bell is rung.

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7 Scandals More Ghetto Than Demi Moore Using Nitrous http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/7-scandals-as-ghetto-as-demi-moores-use-of-nitrous/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/7-scandals-as-ghetto-as-demi-moores-use-of-nitrous/#comments Thu, 26 Jan 2012 22:12:10 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=243788 What America wants to know is: Does she have any left?

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It was revealed yesterday that Demi Moore was hospitalized after having a bad reaction to laughing gas, a.k.a. nitrous oxide. I was probably not alone in, after reading the headlines, assuming that she had an allergy to it at the dentist of something. Nope. She was doing whip-its, the same kind that those other kids who weren’t me did in high school.

The kind of nitrous oxide that makes Grateful Dead and Widepread Panic fans the way they are.

It’s hard to imagine a less likely candidate for huffing laughing gas. Demi Moore is a mature, A-list celebrity with a loving family. She’s also on the heels of what would seem to be a pretty devastating separation, which could have driven her to gas-huffing. I don’t know. I would have thought that being in a relationship with Ashton Kutcher would have led her to huff things.

Anyway, she’s in some pretty bad company when it comes to classless scandals (shocking, no?). Here are a few in her rarified company.

George Michael – Anonymous Sex In A Public Restroom…Twice

Twice. The first time in Beverly Hills, where he was arrested, the second time in England, where he was also arrested. So the guy likes anonymous sex. That’s cool, I guess. But in public restrooms? So conspicuously that you get arrested? Twice?

This makes me wonder how many times he’s actually done it and not gotten arrested. I’m guessing around a billion. His partner, Kenny Goss, is apparently totally cool with this behavior, which may be the sleaziest aspect of these incidents.

Hugh Grant – Picking Up A Hooker That Looks Like Divine Brown

I don’t know how I can further explain how weird and sleazy this was. The fact that it was constantly befuddled charming Brit Hugh Grant helps. So does the fact that he was dating Elizabeth Hurley at the time. That was more than a little confusing/troubling. Never mind the adage, “Going out for burgers when you have prime rib at home.” This is “going out for getting punched in the dick when you have Elizabeth Hurley at home.”

It’s a lesser known idiom, but quite apt, if you ask me.

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