The name of the show? The F’n Osbournes. Exciting, isn’t it?

I don’t feel like waiting around for this show to air to declare that it totally sucks. Not just because it’s a ten-year old gimmick featuring a family that grates more and more as time marches on. Also, because cartoons depicting real people have a storied history of being awful. And here are seven examples to prove it.

Life with Louie

Some cartoon producer had a theory that kids love corpulent comedian Louie Anderson. And they were sort of right. While the idea of listening to Louie Anderson voice a cartoon character makes me want to cry, Life with Louie was a three-year hit for FOX on Saturday mornings, and garnered the network two Daytime Emmys. It focused on Louie’s actual upbringing, his ten siblings, and the constant teasing of him because of his weight. Sounds fun, right?

It wasn’t.

Pro Stars

Pro Stars was a horrible cartoon that children watched because it purported to star the three most popular athletes in the world, Wayne Gretzky, Michael Jordan, and Bo Jackson.

Of course, the aforementioned really had almost nothing to do with the show. They would appear in badly edited segments before the show which did nothing but demonstrat that they weren’t in the same room at the same time, and different voice actors read their lines in the animated segments.

In case you were wondering, Michael Jordan was the leader, Bo Jackson was the muscle, and Wayne Gretzky was the comic relief. You know. Because of how funny Wayne Gretzky is. Also, Wayne Gretzky was obsessed with food and eating on the show, which was never really explained.

This accumulation of crappiness resulted in the show getting canned after thirteen episodes. And in case you were wondering, a voice actor on the show is credited with playing both “Reggie Miller,” and “Evil Reggie Miller.” A Knicks fan would argue that there’s no difference between the two.

At any rate, I’ll cut to the chase. Here are five promos for season 3, each more hilarious than the next. If you’re on the fence about watching them, please keep in mind that Pam makes a reference to her offensive vaginal odors. You simply don’t want to miss something like that.

Archer premieres Thursday, January 19, 2012 at 10:00 PM ET/PT on FX.

Heroes

Amour

Hot One

Beat Box

Nickels

(Check out Before They Joined The Gang: A Look Back At The Early Work Of The ‘Always Sunny’ Cast)

Justin Long, Kristen Bell, Romany Malco, Fred Armisen, Kailin Olson, and Alexa Vega are all tapped to lend their voices to characters on the show, as are Sunny producers David Hornsby and Rob Rosell. The show revolves around two teen friends who try to do what’s right without any parental figures in the mix.

As long as it took to conceptualize the show, the network doesn’t want to waste any time getting the program to air. It is slated to premiere with Archer‘s return in January of 2012.

In Honor Of Scarlett Johansson: 5 Nude Cell Phone Pics That Need To Be Hacked

As our own Penn Collins recently reported, Arnold Schwarzenegger is developing a cartoon called “The Governator,” a semi-autobiographical show depicting his return to a fictitious life of crime-fighting. Now, I’m not one to judge things before I have all the facts, but I do feel comfortable saying that this show will go over as well as a nuclear power plant in an earthquake zone. Why am I so down on the plan? Because if history has taught us anything, it’s that vanity cartoons based on the lives of real people just don’t work. Need proof? Here’s an ass-load of it.

“The Gary Coleman Show”

“The Harlem Globetrotters” was basically the same cartoon as “Scooby-Doo,” except it starred a bunch of big black dudes instead of a bunch of white teenagers. Also, there’s no talking dog, and there’s a lot more basketball. OK, I admit that my description sounds absolutely nothing like “Scooby-Doo,” but trust me. It’s pretty much the same show.

“Hulk Hogan‘s Rock ‘n’ Wrestling”

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Hulk Hogan were both popular 80′s action stars. But unlike Schwarzenegger, who went on to become a megastar, Hogan’s career quickly faded. While many will disagree, I place the blame for Hogan’s downfall squarely on “Hulk Hogan’s Rock ‘n’ Wrestling,” and, to a lesser extent, that meddlesome Iron Sheik.

“ProStars”

Before this cartoon came out, Jordan, Jackson and Gretzky were the best of friends. They would hang out on the weekends, watch each others’ kids, go on vacations together, and all the other things that best friends do. But after the spectacular failure of their cartoon, the group was torn apart by petty bickering and finger pointing. In fact, it’s been ten years since Bo Jackson and Wayne Gretzky played a round of mini-golf together, which is something they used to do every Thursday. Thanks for nothing, “ProStars.”

“Mr. T“

I pity the fool that has ever sat through an entire episode of Mr. T’s cartoon. I know a lot of you will appreciate it on some sort of ironic level. We’ll aren’t you cool? Wait, no you’re not. It’s crap. Don’t give me no back talk, sucka.

“Chuck Norris Karate Kommandos”

Remember when all those lists were going around about how awesome Chuck Norris is? They were funny because he’s a joke. He became a joke because of crap like “Chuck Norris Karate Kommandos.” Well, that movie where he’s partnered with a police dog didn’t help, either.

Well, if Yogi Bear was your idea of a slam dunk, and you can’t wait for the special edition Blu-Ray, you’re in luck: Jeffrey Ventimilia and Joshua Sternin, who wrote Yogi, are in charge of putting words in Downey’s CGI dog mouth. Rob Minkoff, who helmed The Lion King (yes!), Stuart Little (okay!), and The Haunted Mansion (oh god make it stop!) is directing. The film is slated to come out in 3D sometime in 2014,  because that’s how long it takes to build a WABAC machine. (The Playlist)

Remember the classic “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” Christmas special with the herky-jerky animation? If you don’t, you’re a communist. Even so, you might appreciate that “Community” is planning a similar stop-motion animation holiday spoof. The episode will air December 9th, and will chronicle Abed’s unhealthy obsession with Christmas and the search for its true meaning.

While the image above is hilarious, it certainly raises more questions than it answers. Why is Duncan dressed as Harry Potter? Why is Britta a robot? And most of all, why is Shirley topless? Hopefully, all these questions will be answered in what will no doubt be a Christmas miracle (or perhaps just the insane ramblings of a TV-obsessed madman). (Cinema Blend)