Fox just released the first two minutes of their upcoming animated film Rio. The overly cheerful singing, the obnoxiously bright colors, the cute wittle baby bird who’s just wearning how to fwy… Now I wish I was a bird, so I’d have the claws to claw my god damn eyes out. If you’re really into The Enchanted Tiki Room at Disneyland, and not in a let’s-get-high-and-laugh-at-how-retarded-this-is way, then this 3D movie is clearly for you.

Rio is directed by Carlos Saldanha, who did all the Ice Age movies and Robots. So after this clip, that’s really bad sign #2. However, a few promising elements are soaring above the mess of bird shit. The cast includes Jesse Eisenberg, Neil Patrick Harris and Anne Hathaway. Also, the plot doesn’t sound too terrible:

“A nerdy macaw who leaves the comforts of his cage in small town Minnesota and heads to Rio de Janeiro. He embarks on the adventure of a lifetime, learning to open himself up to all that life has to offer along the way.”

Actually, the coolest sounding news surrounding Rio is that Rovio is making a Rio-themed sequel to their Angry Birds iPhone game. I’m an Angry Birds addict, so the thought of using these cloying birds as living weapons to destroy pigs in towers has me excited. Sexually excited? Let’s not go there, but yes.

Wait, I just read a little further and apparently you use the original Angry Birds to rescue the characters from Rio. So… now I’m thinking it’s time to take my 28 gauge out of the tool shack, cause I’m declaring this bird season. (/Film and TheWrap)

The Despicable Me trailer looks despicable meh. It introduces us to #1 Super Villain Gru (Steve Carell) and–OH WAIT he’s been bested by a Syndrome-from-The-Incredibles-esque Super Villain named Vector (Jason Segel). The two then battle wits, which seems more like an exercise in futility for Gru considering Vector has saws, sharks, lasers, missiles, and a boxing glove mechanism that targets your crotch.

Apparently Despicable Me is about Gru trying to steal the moon when his efforts are thwarted by three orphans who want him to be their da-da. None of this comes through in the trailer, except for a shot of the dirty orphans at the end. There isn’t even a damn moon! I’ll give this film the benefit of the doubt for now, but unless more impressive footage comes out soon I’m thinking an episode of Pinky and the Brain might trump Gru’s best efforts.  

Look how bad he wants that moon.

Check out the Despicable Me Trailer below.

Despicable Me Trailer – Watch more Funny Videos

Cast: Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Will Arnet, Ken Jeong, Kristen Wiig

Synopsis: A trio of orphan girls cause the normally deplorable Gru to rethink his plan to steal the moon.