Deadline reports that Angus T. Jones, who previously talked mad sh*t about the sitcom, won’t be returning as a regular. Jones may appear as a recurring character around his college schedule but that deal has not been locked in yet.

Jones’ departure is not surprising. He had indicated his desire to go to college and originally planned to leave after last season until he had a change of heart at the last minute and signed on to return. But with his character Jake in the Army, Jones has appeared only sporadically on the show this season. And then there was the young actor’s ill-advised comments in a religious video testimonial, in which he called Two And A Half Men “filth,” which went viral in November. Jones later apologized and subsequently returned to work.

Now, back to the monkey paw theory. Both Ashton Kutcher and Jon Cryer will return to spew drivel for salaries of $700K per episode. There’s no way that they enjoy the work. Even if it had the best writing on television, eleven years is a prison sentence. Somebody needs to find the monkey paw Jon Cryer wished upon and destroy. For his sake and ours.

Oh, capricious youth!

I have been the subject of much discussion, speculation and commentary over the past 24 hours. While I cannot address everything that has been said or right every misstatement or misunderstanding, there is one thing I want to make clear. Without qualification, I am grateful to and have the highest regard and respect for all of the wonderful people on Two and Half Men with whom I have worked and over the past 10 years who have become an extension of my family.

Chuck Lorre, Peter Roth and many others at Warner Bros. and CBS are responsible for what has been one of the most significant experiences in my life to date. I thank them for the opportunity they have given and continue to give me and the help and guidance I have and expect to continue to receive from them. I also want all of the crew and cast on our show to know how much I personally care for them and appreciate their support, guidance and love over the years. I grew up around them and know that the time they spent with me was in many instances more than with their own families. I learned life lessons from so many of them and will never forget how much positive impact they have had on my life.

I apologize if my remarks reflect me showing indifference to and disrespect of my colleagues and a lack of appreciation of the extraordinary opportunity of which I have been blessed. I never intended that.

If you listen carefully after reading that last press release sentence aloud, you can hear God audibly exhale, knowing that Angus T. Young is doing his work. Then if you listen even more closely following that, you will hear Charlie Sheen, faintly, but audibly, moan as he reaches climax while inhaling off of a crack pipe.

I would prefer you join the rest of us that aren’t collecting paychecks from the show in calling it filth, but it’s entirely up to you.

Angus B. Goode T. Young, who today we all learned in a very devout Christian, said in a video alongside his pastor/mentor/evangelist buddy, “Jake from ‘Two and a Half Men’ means nothing. He is a nonexistent character. If you watch ‘Two and a Half Men,’ please stop watching ‘Two and a Half Men.’ I’m on ‘Two and a Half Men’ and I don’t want to be on it.”

That poor guy. He’s an indentured servant to the tune of $300k/episode!!!

I’m torn here, because I hate hypocrites, but love people that slam Two and a Half Men.

WHAT DO I DO?