Sadly, I don’t have many rodent friends in real life. I keep a clean house and largely steer clear of Koreatown, so most of my rodent encounters are in the movies. But that doesn’t mean they’re any less profound. Here are five furry rodents that bring me enough joy to fight off the crippling pain of the nightmare that is my life.

Fievel Mousekowitz – An American Tail

I’ll be honest, when I was introduced to Fievel in 1986, I was six years old and the Cold War was still in full swing. Needless to say, as a red-blooded American boy, there was no one on this earth I hated more than that Commie rat bastard.

However, a few years later, Rocky IV taught me that we all can change, and as I grew, I realized that not only was it time to forgive, but that An American Tail took place in 1885, long before such a thing as communism even existed. As such, I began to empathize and even like Fievel as a symbol of not only the American Dream, but as a an adorable mouse, albeit a filthy Russian one.

I’ll be honest. I still have pretty mixed feelings about Fievel Mousekowitz, even now. But I want to stop hating him for being Russian, so putting him on this list is a small step for me.

Theodore the Chipmunk – Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked

I’m not THAT partial to Theodore, but I wanted to include a Chipmunk, and I find the other two insufferable. Alvin is a Paris Hilton-type who would probably wither up and die if he didn’t get attention for three seconds, and Simon is like a furry Woody Allen, which is better than a regular Woody Allen, but still not that great.

Theodore is fat and dumb, just like most of my friends, so it’s pretty clear that I have a type. Also, Theodore’s innocence would make it easy for me to exploit him, which I would definitely do.