So director Ron Howard, producer Brian Grazer, and screenwriter Akiva Goldsman are “regrouping” in order to figure out how to do adapt The Dark Tower, but cheaper. It’s not known yet what exactly this will entail, or whether or not this means Javier Bardem is still involved. A free money-saving tip to Ron Howard and co: Eat at Subway. You can get a variety of footlong subs for only five dollars! (The Hollywood Reporter)

For his follow-up to Black Swan, Aronofsky is considering a film by screenwriter Jeff Welch called Human Nature. It’s a science fiction story about a dude who gets cryogenically frozen and wakes up in a future where humans are pets to another species. Sounds Planet of the Apes-ish to me, and that’s all the rage these days. Unfortunately, I doubt the other species is a race of badass mutants who have claws on their hands, but there’s some good news: George Clooney might attach himself to the project as the lead. That makes me think this whole nightmare scenario happens in the script because of a Republican president or something liberally.

Producer Akiva Goldsman is currently working on a budget for the film. (Vulture)

Reportedly, Universal is worried about the ridiculous scope of their upcoming Dark Tower series, which will be told in three epic blockbuster movies and an epic, blockbuster TV series. (Unless the series airs on NBC as planned, but the budget would still be big.) Director/Producer Ron Howard must have been like, “so you have enough money for this, right?” To which Universal quickly responded, “sure, sure,” but the studio just looked its wallet and realized it doesn’t have that kind of cash on them, and they have a bunch of bills to pay this month… So Universal is apparently thinking about either finding a partner studio or selling the behemoth off entirely.

Casting is still in progress, though Javier Bardem is set to play Roland Deschain for the next 15-25 years or so. The books will be adapted by writer Akiva Goldsman. (Variety)

More news out of The Dark Tower camp. The Stephen King adaptation, which will be adapted into three movies and a TV series, and also probably a few video games, a series of books based on the movies of the books, and a set of Slurpee cups, has found a new writer for its TV arm. Mark Verheiden is a movie/TV/comic book writer who has penned everything from”Battlestar Galactica” to Superman comics. He’ll be teaming with Akiva Goldsman on the NBC series. Verheiden was also a supervising producer on “Heroes,” so maybe NBC is his kryptonite? I hope not.

Ron Howard will direct the Dark Tower series, which will bridge the gap between movies 1 & 2. God knows, if there are gaps between movies in a trilogy, something must fill the chronological void. Could you imagine watching Star Wars: Attack of the Clones and Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith without watching the many different “Clone Wars” TV shows? Also, could you imagine re-watching Attack of the Clones? I cannot. (Deadline)

Bardem is in final talks to join the adaptation of the 7-book series, which will include three movies and two TV mini-series. Okay, but will there also be a web series and a couple Nintendo 3DS games? Rumors say this will be Bardem’s biggest payday ever, but with all the work ahead of him if he accepts, that’s hardly a surprise. Anything less than his biggest payday ever would be a serious bargain.

Ron Howard will direct the first movie this September with a script by Akiva Goldsman. They’re also both working on the first TV show episode. (Deadline)

There’s a caveat though. Goldsman has to finish writing the adaptation for Stephen King’s The Dark Tower. Supposedly, the adaptation will span three feature films, two TV mini-series, and we assume 5-6 video games, 12-13 graphic novels, 18 web series from different character POVs and the world’s longest pop-up book for kids. If Goldsman has to write all of that first, it may be awhile before he gets to hop on the saddle of the white flying horse. Perhaps he could steal a page from Peter Lake and attempt to stop time? (Deadline)

_{Akiva Goldsman (Left) and Ron Howard (Right) on the set of Inspector Gadget 2.}

Screenwriter Akiva Goldsman is putting down his pen and picking up his wand, or whatever instrument directors use while directing. The Oscar-winning writer is slated to make his directorial debut with the 20th Century Fox drama, Man and Wife. The film follows an assassin who falls in love with the woman he is supposed to kill. In most relationships, a man falls in love with a woman and then ends up wanting to kill her, but this film turns that convention on its head. Brilliant!

You have to hand it to Goldsman, especially considering he wrote Lost in Space and Batman and Robin. A lesser man (like myself) or a traditional Japanese samurai would have committed ritual suicide after penning such awful scripts. But Goldsman kept at it and went on to do great things. Aside from trying his hand at directing, he is also producing the upcoming Jonah Hex film and is slated to adapt Stephen King’s The Dark Tower for director Ron Howard. (Deadline)

Troma’s The Toxic Avenger film is a cult hit about a 98-lb weakling who mutates into a misshapen hulk after falling into a vat of toxic waste. He uses his newfound strength to rip evil-doers limb from limb and then sodomize them with said limbs. Today comes news that Akiva Goldsman has picked up the rights to remake The Toxic Avenger without including any of those good parts.

The new Toxie will be a green superhero who embarks on PG-13 adventures. Which means instead of introducing a thug’s head to his sphincter, he will now introduce thugs to brochures about recycling and Al Gore documentaries. (Deadline)