Billed as an award show for the people, by the people it leads us to morph into Jerry Seinfeld and ask, “Who ARE these people?” Have you ever voted in the People’s Choice Awards? Are you aware of how one votes in the People’s Choice Awards? Do you have an 11-year old niece who could perhaps explain it to you?

We took a look at past years’ categories, winners, and nominees and noticed some pretty strange doings transpiring. Seriously, who ARE these people?

Also, please not that the original title of this piece was 7 Reasons The People’s Choice Awards Are For Retardos, but we decided to take the high road.

Burt Reynolds

One thing we found is a lack of variety from year to year when it comes to winners and nominees. Johnny Depp has predominantly won Favorite Movie Actor since 2005. Not to mention his win for Favorite Actor of the Decade. Don’t get me wrong. Depp is a great actor despite what Ricky Gervais will tell you. It makes sense that he’d win. What makes zero sense is that Burt F***in’ Reynolds would win top honors five times in six years during the late 70′s/early 80′s. The fact that he was the height of sexiness back then is disturbing (he seems like the type who chews gum while taking a crap). Is that what our dad’s had to compete with? It’s a wonder any of us were ever born.

Favorite Movie Star Under 25

Realizing that Johnny Depp snatching up all the awards was bad business for the Harry Potter franchise, producers needed to introduce a new category. That’s how we got Favorite Movies Star Under 35 in 2008. But that seemed weird considering all of the nominees were 22 tops. So now we have Favorite Movie Star Under 25. It should be called, Pick Your Favorite Between The Cast of Harry Potter and Chloe Moretz.

Jennifer Lopez is currently attached to produce, though it’s presumed that she will star as the titular character as well. I can’t think of an actress I would rather see in this role. Hey! I want to see Jennifer Lopez in a movie! How about that!

For those that were home-schooled or too young to remember, Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego? was an adventure/geography game in the late 80′s in which students would use geographical clues and riddles to track down renowned thief Sandiego and her henchmen all over the world.

The plot details are not known at the moment, but we all hold out hope that the adaptation will feature a re-imagining of Rockapella’s theme song, hopefully featuring verses by both Fergie and, I don’t know…Adam Levine. Judging by this video, made as recently as 2000, the Rockapella guys are available.