Max Payne (2008)

Being a fan of the games, I was excited to see Wahlberg play Max Payne. Unfortunately, it just didn’t quite hit the…mark. In fact, given the talent involved, I will go as far as to say it was a bad movie. I’ll keep the logline simple: When Max Payne’s family dies from a massive conspiracy, he joins a hot assassin to find answers. If that doesn’t entice you to watch, you’re not alone. John Moore, who directed the fun-but-throwaway Behind Enemy Lines, managed to get the look of the games down, and Mila Kunis was fun to watch, but other than that, Max Payne is a laughable piece of action schlock that will be forgotten, and for good reason. On another note, Max Payne 3 comes out soon, and that will be an awesome game.

Shooter (2007)

If Shooter came out in 1987, it’d be remembered as a great action movie. Instead, it came out 20 years later, after we’ve seen this story five-billion times.  Wahlberg plays a sniper who becomes wrongfully accused for trying to snipe the president. Naturally, there’s a conspiracy he unravels with the help of an FBI Agent (Michael Pena), blah blah blah blah. I’m not going to say Shooter is a bad movie, but it’s certainly not a good one. It moves well and has some decent action, and Danny Glover‘s mustache twirling villainy warrants a few smirks, but unless you’ve got NOTHING to do, I’d skip it.

Check out all the Sony “Action Unleashed” DVDs!

Vacation

Clark Griswold probably doesn’t get to do it with his wife that often – after all, they are married. So when the opportunity presents itself, Sparky doesn’t let the fact that they’re crammed in a tiny sleeping bag with a feral mutt at their feet stop him. The result is one of the funniest awkward sex scenes around, although they admittedly don’t get that far into the amorous process. Damn dog.

Pusher II

Tonny’s been in jail for a while, and it hasn’t exactly been good for his sex life. The possibly permanent brain damage he suffered at the hands of a friend he sent upriver isn’t helping either. That becomes painfully clear in this harrowing scene, in which Tonny struggles dutifully to get it up in front of two prostitutes. It’s a pretty tough scene to watch – in fact, “awkward” is probably an understatement.

If you have a Halloween party to go to tonight, don’t be a dick, just DVR it. Seriously, man. What’s your problem?

For those unfamiliar, Strike Back chronicles the actions of Section 20, a branch of MI6 that includes a former Delta Force operative. The serial program follows the bunch around as they go on the hunt for a Pakistani terrorist leader who’s planning something called Project Dawn.

I’m sure Project Dawn is worse than it sounds.

Be sure to tune in and see what you’ve been missing.

It’s no secret that we here at Screen Junkies have an infinity for mustaches. This featurette for Clash of the Titans shows a lot of cool new footage, but it’s Liam Neeson’s facial hair that really takes the spotlight. Deep down I knew that if Neeson grew a mustache it would be an exemplary one, I just had no idea how exemplary. If acting doesn’t work out, the man should sell mustaches at the store I’ll be opening soon that will surely be denied a business loan.

The featurette also contains new Medusa footage and unicorns, so you’re going to want to check it out after the jump.

Clash of the Titans Featurette – Watch more Funny Videos

(LatinoReview)