Hollywood has given us no shortage of stoners over the past 40 years or so, with the most iconic ones having been inventoried and recited ad nauseum. But what of the most attractive stoners? What of them? The Venn diagram of attractive stoners is a strange beast, as it seems that many men can fall into the overlapping segments, but only a handful of women.

Stupid sexist Hollywood. When will the entertainment industry give attractive women the recognition and notoriety they deserve?. This has gone on for far too long.

Milla Jovavich – Dazed and Confused

She didn’t speak much, but she didn’t really have to. Her character, Michelle Burroughs (had to look that one up), added to the film by just being there, and of course, by mindlessly staring at her lighter flame while stoned at the moon tower beer bust. She didn’t speak, she was hot, she got stoned, and she played guitar. This would be a stoner’s dream girl right here.

Milla also introduces us to a pretty familiar trope: the stoner girl that doesn’t speak. We see it in Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels as well. I guess if you’re going to be around a stoner, many would prefer to be around one that doesn’t talk, so that makes some sense.

Bridget Fonda – Jackie Brown

Here’s another hot girl from the movies who loves to smoke pot! But don’t get used to it, because from here on out, it’s mostly dudes. Good-looking dudes, but dudes nonetheless.

Bridget Fonda’s turn in Jackie Brown was pretty much as just a housegirl that keeps Robert De Niro company and also has sex with him. However, she’s got some wisdom in that hot body of hers, as she holds court on why coughing while smoking gets you even higher. Something to do with some part of your lungs opening up for air and taking in even more weed smoke.

And this whole time I just thought that it was because coughing meant you just took a huge hit of weed. Silly me.

It’s 4-20! And you know what that means: Hitler‘s birthday! But since my boss is a huge pussy when in comes to genocidal dictators, I’ll skip the whole “Greatest Hitler Movie” list and focus on the 9 greatest movie weed dealers. If you’re a smoker, now might be a great time to light up. And if you’re not a smoker, I apologize in advance for the poor grammar. Now, on to the dealers.

Big Worm – Friday

Bradley’s a great guy to know if you’re looking for weed. He’s also a huge help if you’re in the mood for bad poetry or Phish records. However, I wouldn’t ask him to remember the combination to your safe.

Dante – Grandma’s Boy

Dante isn’t the smartest drug dealer on this list. But who needs “smarts” when you have the king of the jungle on your side?

Ricky Fitts – American Beauty

Ricky Fitts is a drug dealing teenager who befriends his middle-aged neighbor. Unfortunately, Ricky’s father misinterprets their friendship, and suspects the pair of having a homosexual affair. Wackiness ensues, and by “wackiness,” I mean (spoiler alert) homicide. Man, if anyone needs to chill out and smoke a joint, it’s Ricky’s dad.

Jay and Silent Bob – Clerks

Jay and Silent Bob have appeared in numerous films, but Clerks is still my favorite. It’s not that the other films aren’t funny. But for me, Clerks rings the most true. The characters really seem like two douche bags you might run into while stopping at the Circle K.

Mr. Nice Guy – Half Baked

Mr. Nice Guy isn’t an actual drug dealer, but rather a front for a group of friends selling weed. The group starts selling as a way to raise money to help get their friend out of jail. But their superior product soon gains some high-profile clients, including a rapper named Sir Smokes-a-Lot. This doesn’t sit well with Samson Simpson, an established drug dealer looking to protect his turf.

George Jung – Blow

George Jung might have grown into the biggest cocaine dealer in the country. But he didn’t start out on top. No, he began his career as a lowly weed dealer. See kids, work hard, and you can achieve anything.

Strawberry – Up in Smoke

Cheech & Chong are known for their love of weed. But where do they get their supply? From Tom Skerritt, of course. In the film, Skerritt plays Strawberry, the drug dealing cousin of Pedro (a.k.a. Cheech). He’s a great source for herb, assuming he’s not having one of his Vietnam flashbacks. Veterans’ groups must have loved this scene.

Red – Pineapple Express

Saul might have more screen time in Pineapple Express, but Red is the more memorable of the two drug dealers. Maybe I just have a soft spot for Danny McBride, but any character that bakes cakes for his dead cat’s birthday is A-OK in my book.