Eh.

They could have at least slapped a fun name on it like “Good God, Lemon!” or “Lemon Party,” but instead they just apathetically rolled out a character name that happened to have a fruit in the title.

Ultimately, I was hoping that they wouldn’t use the obvious Lemon connection, and go with something a little more offbeat. Like what you ask? There’s a universe of choices out there, but my suggestion is, and always will be:

Werewolf Candy Bar Mitzvah.

Nothing else is known at this time, aside from the fact that Nancy Pelosi has said that she “would do almost anything Tina Fey asks me to do.” Most people wouldn’t mean that literally and would draw the line somewhere before volunteering to act alongside Ice-T, but for Pelosi at least, anything means anything, so here we are.

As Ice-T’s SVU character would say…

“That’s messed up.”

Well, that’s been fixed as he signed on to play Ron, Kenneth’s mom’s “friend” during the final season of the show. Kenneth’s mom will be played by Catherine O’Hara, so expect the interactions of these two to be WAY more interesting than what’s going on with Frank or Jenna or whoever is still on the show.

Of all the Cranston announcements that could have been issued today, this isn’t among the top 100 most promising, but it’s something, and considering Michael Clarke Duncan died this weekend, we could use the boost.

The move is of course done as a cost-saving tactic, but also to probably clear up schedule space for new comedies like Matthew Perry’s Go On, while Whitney and Up All Night will probably not be making the cut.

Here’s where I would make a joke about NBC just being the worst, and, since their new shows are far worse than the stuff they’re cranking out currently, they should just stick with the stuff SOME people like, rather than introduce a bunch of stuff that no people like.

That’s where I would have done that.

I understand the short orders for Community and 30 Rock, but Parks and Rec has never done better, even with falling numbers for its neighboring shows.

In an effort to deflect allegations that country music is just for rednecks, Country Music Television is developing Redneck Island, about 12 rednecks who are placed on an island to “attempt to survive hilarious and unpredictable challenges in unique redneck fashion.”

As stupid as the premise sounds, this could be the ultimate survival show. After two painful seasons of The Walking Dead, it’s clear that redneck brothers Daryl and Merle are far better survivalists than stupid cityfolk with their liberal arts degrees and their NPR totebags and pre-school admission interviews. The Deadline piece offers some terrific other nuggets.

Did you know that Stone Cold Steve Austin has a production company? He does. And that company is named Broken Skull Ranch Prods. I’m unclear whether “Prods” is some sort of abbreviation for “Productions,” or if it’s referencing cattle prods. Either way, rednecks on an island.

At the very least, they’ll be able to finally balance out those tans.

While the idea of a scripted, taped show airing a live episode reeks of gimmickery, a scant 50 years ago, before taping technology existed, almost every show was done live, if for the only reason that producers had no way of memorializing a show.

In the modern age, though, there’s little need for a live show, beyond watching in the hopes that someone flubs a line or farts audibly.

Bad news. It almost never happens. As bad as TV actors can be, they’re by and large pros, so what might seem nerve wracking to the likes of us rubes is little more than a day at the office for them.

ER

The 1997 episode Ambush was performed twice, once for east coast audiences, then once again for, you guessed it, west coast audiences. The live aspect looked different and a little grittier than other taped and mastered episodes, and the difference in appearance was explained via a PBS crew that was following around the doctors of Cook County, filming a documentary.

Everyone was half-hoping, half-expecting disaster, as ER was regarded a show that demanded a hefty amount of technical jargon from their actors, so the constant barking of incubations, CTs, and anaphylactic shock led some to believe that these two airings could be a disaster. But, dammit, they got it right, much to the chagrin of all the Statlers and Waldorfs in the audience.

The Drew Carey Show

The fact that this 90’s sitcom went live should come as no surprise, as half the actors on it cut their teeth on the Brit-import improv show Whose Line Is It, Anyway? What was surprising, and made this different than the more rote “livenings” of many other scripted, taped shows, is that there were various buzzwords and cues that forced the cast to improvise, which guaranteed that the airings were markedly different from one another.

While many attempt the live show, few screw it up, or really leverage the concept to give the episode any novelty. Adding improv elements may have pulled the audience out of the universe of The Drew Carey Show, but who really wants to be in the universe of The Drew Carey Show?

Gross.

Lucky for me, the writer, NBC has given us a very long list of reasons why it sucks over the past six months, so the only hard part was culling them down. They’ve done a very few things right over the past couple months, too, but we’ll save that for another article that I’ll never write.

So here’s why NBC has been sucking.

Shelving Community

Quickly: I am not a Community fan. I think the show is incredibly thoughtful and clever, but it spends so much time being those things that I don’t care at all what happens to the characters. However, I think suspending the one NBC show with a rabid, passionate fan base at a time when the network has almost nothing going for it is a mistake.

The show got terrible ratings, but at least people would talk about it. It gave NBC a presence on the Internet. You think the people that are watching Fear Factor are talking about that show on the Internet? Those people can’t even afford computers.

The show is one of the few good things that anyone says about NBC, so the network should take the hit, knowing that they’re making at least some fans and many critics happy.

The Playboy Club

This show was just ill-advised and lazy. It was too risqué for middle America (which is dumb, but true), and too pedestrian for the Mad Men crowd, so the show was openly mocked and ignored by both sides, getting the axe after two episodes, despite being NBC’s most-hyped new show.

Whatever the opposite of “taking a calculated risk” is, that’s what The Playboy Club was.

“Giving a thoughtless certainty?”

Tits or GTFO.

After the episode, Morgan was taken away by ambulance to the Park City Medical Center, where tests confirmed no sign of drugs or alcohol in his system. This data has rocked the scientific community.

The official word from his publicist is that Morgan suffered “from a combination of exhaustion and altitude.” Exhaustion? It’s not like he actually climbed the mountain. And I doubt he was up late catching up on Downton Abbey.  (TMZ)

After some time spent picking up the pieces, 30 Rock has composed itself and is ready to issue a response. Here is that response from producer to Us Weekly (!)Robert Carlock:

“We sort of went back to the script because we’d already shot eight or nine episodes, and we realized that luckily we hadn’t referred to Kim Jong-Il by name yet — just to North Korea in general,” Carlock said. “We can’t go back and address the changes there, but the fun puzzle is turning around and trying to figure out how to get her out of there and how to continue things.”

That IS a fun puzzle, Mr. Carlock!

One red flag here is that the writers hadn’t abandoned this plotline eight episodes into the show. Yuck. How long were they planning on running with this? Of course, this is a show that has devolved the Kenneth character from cute country rube to depraved and devil-worshipping sheep banger, so who knows, really?

Here are a few of the most glaring instances. A few work on a deeper level, but most don’t. If any of these scenes are personal favorites of yours, I’m sorry. Sorry you have bad taste.

Ok. The 30 Rock one is pretty damn funny.

Chris Cooper – The Muppets

Sadly, no video is available for this one yet, but Chris Cooper, who plays a humorless oilman in the puppet film, breaks into a rap entitled “Let’s Talk About Me.” There are video vixens, crazy-phresh lyrics, and, most importantly…CHRIS COOPER RAPPING. While it’s certainly an irreverent scene by Muppet standards, the oddness of it all works. It’s weird, but not in a desperate or incomprehensible fashion. It’s just pretty interesting.

I thought about tagging this with a “spoiler alert,” but figured those diehard Muppet fans that would get upset by this have all seen the movie by now. If that’s not the case, I’m sorry I ruined his ironic rap.

Ellen Dow – The Wedding Singer

Sure, it’s Nazi propaganda, but that doesn’t mean it can’t also be a good film. While there was certainly enough action going on during the premiere of the film, part of me wanted everyone to just chill out for a few minutes so that I could watch this sniper pick people off. The film-within-a-film was directed by Tarantino cohort Eli Roth, so it’s nice to see he can branch out beyond Hostel.

Click the trailer and tell me you wouldn’t watch this film all day long.

Simple Jack – Tropic Thunder

Here we see Ben Stiller’s character coming dangerously close to going “full retard” with Simple Jack, a film about a developmentally disabled man-child who works on a farm and talks to animals. My guess is that if this movie were to be released in the next couple months, it would get a nod for Best Picture, especially in light of the expanded field.

And the posters would use a still of Simple Jack looking up towards the sky, blowing a dandelion, like retarded people so often do.

“Listen, you can’t imagine doing the show without Alec but I couldn’t imagine doing the show without Chevy either and we’re still on the air,” Michaels said, invoking Chase’s departure from SNL. “I would hope that we would never have to go on without him but we’re going to keep doing the show.”

Tina Fey is at home this summer expecting a baby. Then she’s ready to go back to work too. “Right now she’s having a baby but I know that she’s completely committed to the show, as are a lot of people who work there. Alec is a huge part of it. It’s a great group. I think it still has a lot of vitality and life in it. We’re all pretty much determined to keep it going, and I’m hopeful.”

Michaels also spoke out about 30 Rock star Tracy Morgan’s controversial anti-gay rant and how it might affect his return to the show. “We haven’t started yet but obviously everyone has been talking. I think he totally regretted it, he apologized for it. I think it was a thoughtless thing to say but it was the middle of a concert and he was trying to be provocative I think. It just blew up and I think he confronted it and dealt with it. I know what kind of man he is and he’s not a hateful person in any way, shape or form. What he said was stupid and there’s no justification for it, I’m just saying I don’t think it came from any real thought really.”

The subsequent Tracy Morgan controversy, about a routine on the mentally challenged, made less waves. “I think that’s from his act from 15 years ago. It was in his HBO special. When you scrutinize anybody’s comedy, it’s not the criteria you should really judge it by. He’s not being taught in schools.”

Time for all New Yorkers to vote Republican.

Liz Lemon is visiting Dr. Spaceman to treat some stress-related cold sores. He assures her that there’s nothing to be embarrassed about (he gets them from hookers all the time) and offers her some R&R (Rum and Ritalin) for the stress. However, Liz only wants to treat the cold sores. She feels her stress is under control now that she’s booked a house in the Hamptons for the summe break.

Meanwhile, the others are making their summer plans. Jack is trying to figure out what to do with himself now that his wife has been kidnapped by North Koreans, the writers are engaged in a final melee battle on their PlayStation, and Jenna is about to land a big advertising deal with the Wool Council, who she impressed with a previous performance at the Wool Bowl.

Liz pays a fine she owes to the city for a hate crime she committed against a Jewish tree, and then heads for the Hamptons. Once there, all is going according to plan, until Tracy shows up and reveals that he’s purchased the homes around Liz’s guest house and is treating it like his own private playground.

Tired from a long day of golf, Tracy decides to take a nap on Liz’s porch. He has to rest up for his big night of firing guns into the air. Before he nods off, he mentions that he and Liz will be seeing each other a lot over the summer. He also warns her that he tends to scream in his sleep, but that she should not wake him no matter what, or he will attack.

Back in New York, Jenna is about to finalize her deal with the Wool Council, when the subject of her personal life brings the meeting to a halt. They are concerned that her cross-dressing boyfriend will sully wool’s conservative image. But after a stirring song, the head of the council agrees to give Paul a chance, and sets up a double date with Jenna.

Meanwhile, Jack is copping with the loss of his wife by replacing her with Kenneth. What starts as a simple act of kindness turns into an obsession when Jack forces him, the hapless page, to come over for dinner night after night. Jack’s assistant, Jonathan, ends up getting stuck with Kenneth’s duties, and is forced to call in his family for help.

Later, Liz confronts Tracy about his behavior, and tells him that she doesn’t want him to ruin her relaxing summer. But when Tracy threatens to cause trouble on set next season, Liz is forced to back down.

Jenna and Paul are hosting the president of the Wool Council and his wife. Although it is hard for Paul to hide who he is, the meal is going well. But when Jenna’s “sitter” shows up (a dwarf the couple pays to sit on them) he is forced to pretend that sexual fetishes disgust him.

Kenneth is having problems of his own, as Jack is now forcing him to completely take on the role of his missing wife.

After being forced to sleep over, Kenneth draws the line, and while impersonating Jack’s wife, tells him to stop feeling sorry for himself and move on. The speech snaps Jack back to reality, and Kenneth is free to go.

After the dinner with the Wool Council president, Jenna and Paul decide that they must be true to themselves. At the photo shoot, they publicly make out while dressed in drag, Wool Council be damned.

After much deliberation, Liz has a revelation, and decides not to pay her ticket for the hate crime, which results in mandatory community service. She finds the work relaxing, and is even picking up Spanish from some of her fellow trash pickers. Jack happens upon her in the park, just as Jenna and Paul are out for a walk. Tracy, who hit a golf ball onto the back of a truck and refuses to take a mulligan, is also passing through the park as he plays his way back to the Hamptons.

The group stops to admire Jack’s baby, while Kenneth watches from afar via telescope. In a “Lost”-like ending, he screams to an unseen “Jacob” that he “needs more time.” With that, the story ends, to be continued in season six.

What did you think of the way things ended? Is the show still going strong, or has the quality started to drop off?

An animated version of”30 Rock” is making me wonder about other TV possibilities – a cartoon short based on”Boardwalk Empire,” perhaps. Or maybe a live-action “Archer.” These are all great ideas, I hope I get paid when they happen. (Vulture)

Alec Baldwin dropped a bomb last night that is sure to upset “30 Rock” fans. His brother Stephen was an excellent dancer back in high school. Oh yeah, also next season of “30 Rock” will be the show’s last.

“I will tell you one thing,” he told Vulture. “And that is our show next year is our last year of the show. Our contracts are expired [in 2012], and Tina is gonna have a big career directing films and writing. She’s going to be the next Elaine May. She’ll be great.”

If true, that’s sad to hear. You guys go cry and work on your Tracy Jordan requiems while I go figure out just who the hell Elaine May was.

However, Hanks will make his glorious return to sitcomdom on an upcoming episode of NBC’s “30 Rock.” There’s no information yet on who the Nicest Guy In The Universe will play in Tina Fey‘s much-lauded, much-ratings-challenged show – only that the star recently tweeted, “I’m on’30 Rock‘!” That seems to be a good indication that he will, indeed, be on “30 Rock.”

Since the show-within-a-show is “The Girlie Show,” maybe Hanks wants to return to his cross-dressing roots? But if his character was trying to pass as a chick, wouldn’t he be outed by such highly-observant, intellectual heavyweights like Tracy and Jenna? Yeah, I guess it could be the Susan B. Anthony Hotel all over again. (Hollywood Reporter)

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY  Inception, Written by Christopher Nolan; Warner Bros.

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY   The Social Network, Screenplay by Aaron Sorkin; Based on the book The Accidental Billionaires by Ben Mezrich; Sony Pictures

DRAMA SERIES  ”Mad Men,” Written by Jonathan Abrahams, Lisa Albert, Keith Huff, Jonathan Igla, Andre Jacquemetton, Maria Jacquemetton, Brett Johnson, Janet Leahy, Erin Levy, Tracy McMillan, Dahvi Waller, Matthew Weiner; AMC

TV EPISODIC DRAMA – any length – one airing time  “The Chrysanthemum and the Sword” (“Mad Men“), Written by Erin Levy; AMC

TV COMEDY SERIES ”Modern Family,” Written by Jerry Collins Paul Corrigan, Alex Herschlag, Abraham Higginbotham, Elaine Ko, Joe Lawson, Steven Levitan, Christopher Lloyd, Dan O’Shannon, Jeffrey Richman, Brad Walsh, Ilana Wernick, Bill Wrubel, Danny Zuker; ABC

TV EPISODIC COMEDY – any length – one airing time  “When It Rains, It Pours” “30 Rock“), Written by Robert Carlock; NBC

The most interesting thing here is Christopher Nolan getting an award for Inception, after what many perceived as a snub when the Oscar nominees were announced. And the fact that “Mad Men” took both the overall series category AND the episodic category just goes to show that it’s the best show on TV.

Here are some more winners, and you can see a complete list at Deadline.

COMEDY / VARIETY – (INCLUDING TALK) SERIES

An unnamed network insider has been quoted as saying, “[Baldwin is] already part of the NBC family, has a huge fan base and is very respected for his long term passions for politics.” I’ve heard time and again that Alec Baldwin is ready to retire from acting, and his outspoken passion for touchy-feely liberalism makes this job as good as his. Battling idiots like Glenn Beck on TV would be a good stepping stone to battling idiots like Sarah Palin in actual politics.

That said, I still think he should stick to selling microwaves. (PopEater)

Enjoy your water, show off!

Celebrities make me sick. Their decadence knows no bounds. For example, take “30 Rock” star Tracy Morgan. He wasn’t content to drive around in fancy cars and date supermodels. No, he felt the need to go and get himself a fancy new kidney.

Tracy Morgan is recovering from a kidney transplant in a New York-area hospital. The comedian, who suffers from diabetes, underwent a successful operation around December 10. Amazingly, because a kidney transplant sounds like a big deal to us, Morgan is expected to get back to work after the holidays and only miss filming two episodes on 30 Rock.

So while most Americans are struggling to make ends meet this holiday season, Morgan is out there buying new organs. Typical Hollywood. (Reuters via Vulture)

^{"Just ignore him and hopefully he’ll go away."}

Looks like NBC is pulling out the big celebrity guest star guns for this week’s live episode of "30 Rock." Jon Hamm and Matt Damon are confirmed to appear as the men after Liz Lemon‘s heart. Plot details are under wraps so we don’t know whether or not Damon will pull a Duck Phillips and try to crap in Alec Baldwin’s chair before picking a fight with Hamm. Tracy Morgan more than likely will though. That guy pretty much craps anywhere and everywhere. (EW)

Vulture put together this cool montage of all the Liz Lemon flashback moments from "30 Rock." It’s not until you see them all lined up that you realize how big of a loser she was during childhood. And why it’s really dumbfounding that she’s not a lesbian.

While Ghostbusters 3 is seeming less and less likely, another ghoul film from the 80′s may be getting closer to a sequel. Actor Michael Keaton has expressed interest in reprising his role of Beetlejuice, the ghost with the most.

When asked about the possibility, Keaton replied, "Absolutely, that’s the one thing I’d love to do again." I would have guessed that the "one thing" Keaton would have chosen to revisit would have been Mr. Mom, or maybe Gung Ho. But that’s just me.

Considering his Beetle Juice co-star Geena Davis has already expressed interest, it’s probably only a matter of time before a studio throws money at yet another 80′s nostalgia project. Of course, this is provided Alec Baldwin isn’t too busy with "30 Rock," and Winona Ryder isn’t too busy shoplifting! Zing! That joke is just as relevant as it was nine years ago! (DeadCentral)