The Sh*ttiness That Is ‘Zombieland’ Won’t Be Rewarded With A Spin-Off Series A Person Mentioned Christopher Nolan And James Bond In The Same Sentence, So We’re Gonna Report On That Make The Cast Of ‘This Is The End’ Do Weird Stuff To Each Other ‘Toxic Avenger’ Remake Sees A Need To Cast Arnold Schwarzenegger When You Learn A ‘Medieval Times’ Movie Is In The Works, You Don’t Need Any More Details William Fichtner To Play An ‘Iconic’ Role In ‘Ninja Turtles’ New ‘Star Trek’ Gilds The Nerdy Lily By Having Edgar Wright Direct A Scene ‘Anchorman 2′ Viewers Are Going To Have To Suffer Through A Kanye Cameo Disney And Marvel Announce First Animated Feature Together The John Gotti Biopic Starring John Travolta Rises Like A Phoenix Marvel Pays Sh*t ‘Game Of Thrones’ Hits All-Time High, Gets More Popular As It Gets More Confusing ‘MI:5′ Gets Greenlit With Tom Cruise Returning ‘Iron Man 3′ Almost Featured A Pepper Potts Sex Tape If You Have Been Begging For Remakes Of ‘MST3K’ Films, You Are In Luck, Weirdo Someone Finally Agrees To Play ‘The Crow’ Daniel Radcliffe Signs On To Play A Yokuza-Battling Journalist Quicksilver And Scarlet Witch Written Into ‘Avengers 2′ ‘Pride and Prejudice and Zombies’ Back From The Dead With Lily Collins Attached Allison Williams Being Considered For ‘Fantastic Four’ Michael Bay Says ‘Ninja Turtles’ Film Isn’t About Aliens After All Now Alexander Skarsgard Could Be ‘The Crow’ ‘Twilight’ Producers To Produce Hillary Clinton Fan-Fic ‘Rodham’ Jamie Foxx To Help Daddy Warbucks To Become ‘Benjamin Stacks’ In Jay-Z’s ‘Annie’ Remake ‘Pretty Far Along’ Is How Soderbergh Describes ‘Magic Mike 2′ Status ‘Two And A Half Men’ Renewed, Loses A Cast Member, And Will Never Die Tim Heidecker Isn’t A Fan Of The Zach Braff Kickstarter Film, And He’s Got A Page Of Fake Script To Prove It Walmart Shoppers Will Get To See ‘Man Of Steel’ Before Normal People Zach Braff Takes To Kickstarter For A ‘Garden State’ Sequel. I Now Hate Kickstarter. Gus Van Sant Went Ahead And Shot A ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’ Sex Scene ‘Guardians Of The Galaxy’ Will Know The Wrath Of Lee Pace Sorry Not Sorry: Michael Bay Shows No Remorse For ‘Armageddon’ Netflix Introduces Plan To Let You Legally Share Your Password With Friends, Sort Of Will Ferrell And Jack Black To Run Around And Scream In ‘Tag Brothers’ Michael Bay To Cast Chinese Roles Via ‘Transformers 4′ Reality Show Michael Rooker To Dress Uncomfortably In ‘Guardians Of The Galaxy’ First Look At Jamie Foxx As Dr. Nutsack Electro In ‘Amazing Spider-Man 2′ The Michael Bay-Produced ‘TMNT’ Casts Master Splinter, Gets Super Weird ‘Veronica Mars’ Gets $5.7MM From Kickstarter. Whoa. Dreamworks Pays The Whole Toll For Trolls R.I.P. Jonathan Winters ‘Go the F*ck to Sleep’ Being Adapted For The Big Screen Somehow ‘Point Break’ Is Getting Remade…Yada Yada, “Is Nothing Sacred?” Etc. Anne Hathaway Hooking Up With Christopher Nolan Again For ‘Interstellar’ AMC Still Dangling Saul’s ‘Breaking Bad Spinoff Over Our Head FOX Is Going To Make Witches The Next Big Thing With The ‘Half Bad’ Franchise Robert De Niro To Learn Spanish For Boxing Film ‘Hands Of Stone’ Of Course James Cameron Is Developing New Underwater Motion Capture Technology ‘Anchorman 2′, Nicole Kidman Deficient No More Iconic Film Critic Roger Ebert Dead At 70 Matthew McConaughey Confirmed To Play A Spaceman For Christopher Nolan Discovery Channel CEO Doesn’t Go Broke Underestimating The Intelligence Of The American Public, Makes $49 Million Will Arnett’s Naturally Cast In The New ‘Ninja Turtles’ Film Tim Burton To Direct Non-Depp Actors In ‘Big Eyes’ Steve Buscemi Has Been Running Around Filming Vampire Weekend For Some Reason ‘Finding Nemo’ Sequel Isn’t Gonna Be About Nemo At All. BULLSHIT! Why You Need To See The New ‘Evil Dead’ ‘G.I. Joe 3′ To Chronicle The Other Half Of The Battle R.I.P. Richard Griffiths Will Smith Didn’t Play Django Because Django Wasn’t A Big Enough Role For Him Robert Redford Unfrozen For ‘Captain America: The Winter Soldier’ Role Mike White Moves From ‘Enlightened’ To Something Else Awesome With ‘Silver Linings Playbook’ Author Christina Applegate To Play Ed Helms’ Way-Too-Hot-For-Him Wife In ‘Vacation’ Reboot George R. R. Martin Gets His Acting Break In ‘Game Of Thrones’ New Season ‘Hansel And Gretel: Witch Hunters’ Is Getting A Sequel Terrence Malick Included ‘Zoolander’ In His Personally-Curated Film Series Tom Cruise Is Latest To Probably Turn Down ‘The Man From U.N.C.L.E.’ Alay Your Worries, Colossus Is Also Back For ‘X-Men: Days Of Future Past’ 2/3 Of ‘Horrible Bosses’ Stars Unite For Cop Comedy Dave Bautista To Body Slam Bad Guys In ‘Guardians Of The Galaxy’ ‘Jurassic Park 4′ Gets A Director Iranian News Agency Suggests Ben Affleck Be Hanged For ‘Argo’ Warwick Davis Would Like A Bigger Role In ‘Star Wars: Episode VII’ The Simpsons Movie’ Sequel Should Be Here In ’10, 15 Years’ ‘Good Times’ Film In The Works: Jimmy Walker Gets To Eat This Month! Weird-Looking Guy From ‘Girls’ Joins Jason Bateman & Tina Fey In ‘This Is Where I Leave You’ Announced ‘Trainspotting’ Sequel Means All The Characters Might Not Be Dead Yet ‘Oz The Great And Powerful’ Gets A Sequel…FINALLY IFC Continues To Bring In The Yuks With Ben Stiller And Will Ferrell Series ‘The Hangover 3′ Poster Indicates The Film Could Be Interesting Jon Stewart To Bum America Out With Directorial Debut Jake Johnson & Damon Wayans Jr. Join Awesomely-Lazy Titled ‘Let’s Be Cops’ Rumor Has It That Brad Bird’s ‘Tomorrowland’ Will Feature Time Travel And Robots Gary Oldman To Battle Super Smart Monkeys In ‘Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes’ Tina Fey Doesn’t Want To Host The Oscars Because A) It’s Hard For Women, And B) Hosting The Oscars Sucks Tom Hardy To Wrestle With PTSD & Probably Break Its Back In ‘Samarkand’ Simon Pegg Rumored For Future ‘Star Wars’ Films Because Of All The Nerds Seth MacFarlane Not Interested In Hosting The Oscars Again Because Who The F*ck Would Want That Job? Charles Xavier Won’t Meet His Future-Self Now They’re Talking About James McAvoy Being ‘The Crow’ Quvenzhané Wallis Cast As ‘Annie’ And Is Not A ‘C-Word’ Despite What You May Have Read Adam Sandler Looking To Reteam With Drew Barrymore On A Film That Sounds Downright Painful Jennifer Lawrence And David O. Russell Should Just Get Married Already Christian Bale To Climb Mount Everest!!!! (In A Movie) Forest Whitaker Hilariously Accused Of Shoplifting Michael Mann Hires Chris Hemsworth To Fight The Y2K Bug Or Something One Entry On The List Of Stanley Kubrick’s Favorite Films Sticks Out Like A Sore Thumb Peter Dinklage To Play Some Kind Of Thing In ‘X-Men: Days Of Future Past’ Bryan Singer Not Sure He’ll Invite Storm and Nightcrawler To His Next X-Men Party Jessica Chastain Ain’t Got No Beef With Jennifer Lawrence Alfred Hitchcock Intended ‘Psycho’ To Be A Comedy Joseph Gordon-Levitt Will Cut Graphic Sex Scenes From ‘Don Jon’s Addiction’ To Get An R Rating, Therefore Is A Butthole A Screen Junkies Rebuttal To MTV’s Rebuttal To Screen Junkies ‘Skyfall’ Honest Trailer J.J. Abrams Might Tackle ‘Portal’ And ‘Half-Life’ Films, As Well Brace Yourself For ‘Han Solo: Origins’ Chris Pratt To Lose All That Weight Again For ‘Guardians Of The Galaxy’ Lead Johnny Depp To Play Gangster Whitey Bulger In One Of Four Biopics Let’s Make ‘A Talking Cat!?!’ The Most Popular Movie On Netflix The Ravages Of Age Force Willow Smith To Drop Out Of ‘Annie’ Remake Jason London Got Drunk, Got Arrested, Then Pooped In A Cop Car ‘Entourage’ Gets Greenlit By Warners Bros, ‘Aquaman’ Sequel Still In Development Hell ‘Taken’ Director To Film Sean Penn Killing Bad Guys In Europe Paul Giamatti To Suit Up As The Rhino In ‘Amazing Spider-Man 2′ Abrams Is Really Truly Directing ‘Star Wars’, But It Might Not Hit Theaters In 2015 Anna Paquin And Ellen Page Back For ‘X-Men: Days Of Future Past’ eBay Bans The ‘Django Unchained’ Action Figures J.J. Abrams Will Direct The Next ‘Star Wars’ Film January Jones Might Not Return For ‘X-Men: Days Of Future Past’ ‘The Canyons’ Denied By SXSW Following Sundance Rejection ‘Princess Bride’ T-Shirt Causes People On Airplane To Act Like Dipsh*ts The Rock To Make A Movie Based On A Drawing Of A Teddy Bear Leonardo DiCaprio Needs A Timeout Ryan Murphy To Update ‘The Town That Dreaded Sundown’, Make It Kinky Probably Al Pacino’s Joe Paterno Movie Will Be Directed By Brian DePalma Metallica Will Be The Subject And Stars Of A Feature Film Tyler Perry And Larry The Cable Guy Teaming Up Solely To Piss Me Off ‘Hot Tub Time Machine’ Sequel: MGM Wants To Get Back In The Water Looks Like We’ll Be Spared Any ‘Jack Reacher’ Sequels MGM Announces Ben-Hur Remake, Pleasing Chariotmakers Everywhere Head Covering Enthusiast Johnny Depp Eying Lead In ‘The Magic Hat Of Mortimer Wintergreen’ Trey Parker & Matt Stone Open Their Own Studio White House Is Passing On A Petition To Build A Death Star Louis C.K. In Talks To Endure David O. Russell The World Will Get Iran’s Side Of The ‘Argo’ Story Steven Spielberg Suddenly Too Fancy For ‘Robopocalypse’ Christopher Nolan Will Direct Another Completely Incomprehensible Film Nom Nom Nom: Academy Award Nominees 2013 Funny Or Die Gets Deal To Bring You A Ton Of Movies Don’t Play: ‘Django Unchained’ Action Figures Causing Uproar Joseph Gordon-Levitt Passes Up Marvel For Johnny Depp’s Sloppy Second ‘Sin City’ Seconds R.I.P. ‘Snakes On A Plane’ Director David R. Ellis Brad Pitt To Play The Man Who Sentenced Jesus To Death Frank Darabont Is Going To Rewrite The ‘Godzilla’ Movie There’s More Story To Tell: ‘Texas Chainsaw 3D’ Sequel In The Works Joseph Gordon-Levitt In The Mix For ‘Guardians Of The Galaxy’ Lead Jay-Z Is Doing The Score For ‘The Great Gatsby’…Let’s Get Excited Spike Lee Went Ahead And Decided ‘Django’ Is Racist And Awful Without Seeing It Justin Bieber Kinda Killed A Guy Wes Anderson’s ‘Grand Budapest Hotel’ Adds The Luminous Starpower Of Tilda Swinton And Adrien Brody ‘Argo’ Rated Best Movie Of 2012