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13 Dead Actresses We Would Have Boned

Friday, October 24 by

Halloween is almost here. It is the time of year where we honor the memory of the dead and the things they have given us by dressing up like slutty pirates and asking our neighbors to give us snacks.

Morning News Roundup

Friday, October 24 by

Last night I had one too many Jamesons. I turned on the TV and watched about five minutes of the Chris Rock special on HBO on demand. Then I started packing up the apartment because my girlfriend and I are moving. Are you thrilled? Here’s the morning news, Junkie.

Thusday’s Links Are Complete Panda-Monium

Thursday, October 23 by

I always figured that the reason tiny animals make you feel good is that if they made you feel bad, there would be a much greater chance of you eating them, and much lesser chance of species actually surviving. Here’s the links.

Soup Clip Of The Week: Manhole Tragedy

Thursday, October 23 by

I put this in our link dump yesterday. But it makes me laugh so hard that I decided that it merits a spot on the homepage. Manhole. 69. Straight face. God bless local news, and the stuff they just don’t catch.

Friday The 13th Teaser

Thursday, October 23 by

Produced by Michael Bay. That's all you need to know. BOOM.

Child Bankrupts Make A Wish Foundation

Thursday, October 23 by

Stupid Chad Carter with his stupid Leukemia, bankrupting the Make A Wish Foundation with his usage of bureaucratic loopholes.  Makes me SO mad. PS, I know I posted an Onion video yesterday. But hells bells they’re on top of their game.

If Variety Told The Truth

Thursday, October 23 by

If Hollywood started telling the truth, utter chaos would ensue. Our already failing economy would be reduced to nothing. It would be the end of everything as we know it.

Morning News Roundup

Thursday, October 23 by

Good morning. How'd you sleep? The entire staff of Screenjunkies stayed up last night and broke into a zoo. We have brand new mascots for the site. Here's the morning news roundup while we figure out what to feed a sloth. 

Hump Day Link Dump: Now With Crazy Cosby

Wednesday, October 22 by

It's not totally clear what the hell he's talking about in this clip, but one this is for sure. Bill Cosby is almost 400 years younger then John McCain. Put that on your shuffleboard court and shove it.

Woody Allen Meets Sarah Palin

Wednesday, October 22 by

I feel like even acknowledging Palin’s existence only serves to feed the publicity machine that has rocketed her to being the most popular woman on earth. But I also feel like it’s that same publicity machine that is just about to grind her into a fine mash of Alaskan Moose Pemmican.

Disney Grows Kids In Labs

Wednesday, October 22 by

The Onion continues to just destroy the world with funniness.  They are our truest national hero. God bless them.

Freezer Burn: The Invasion of Laxdale Trailer

Wednesday, October 22 by

Watch this just to see Tom Green’s neck fat. That’s it. Just that. Ok, that and Crispen Glover.

Craziest-Gary-Busey-Moments-13

13 Craziest Gary Busey Moments

Wednesday, October 22 by

Gary Busey is an enigma wrapped in a conundrum, elegantly paired with a fetching scarf of just-plain-batshit-crazy. Every morning, he dusts his balls with a talcum of nutjob powder. Then, he goes out into that big world of Hollywood and just starts blowing people's minds. Here are a few of our favorite Gary Busey moments.

Groundhogs Day B&B Now A Real Thing

Wednesday, October 22 by

Some day in the not too distant future we will live in a world where our most important historical figures will be the cast of movies like Ghostbusters and Back To The Future. You will be able to visit the highway rest stop in your car (your Jet Car) on the Mass Pike (the Mass Jet Pike) where Dan Aykroyd dropped a duce. That day is drawing nearer as the house featured in Groundhogs Day is now a functioning locale of movie history.

The Link Dump: Things Happen

Tuesday, October 21 by

Lots of things happen. Things are always happening. They happen all over the world, to people, to animals, to plants even. Here are some things that happened in movies and tv that I didn't write about today.

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