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10 TMNT CHARACTERS WE WANT ON FILM

Thursday, April 23 by

So, by now everyone knows that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are getting yet another big screen live-action movie via Legendary Pictures & The Mirage Group.  I say huzzah, dudes! …

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (2011)

Thursday, April 23 by

A live action retelling of the Ninja Turtles' origin story, from Mirage Studios and Executive Producer Peter Laird. 

ROONEY MARA IN TALKS TO PLAY NANCY IN ‘NIGHTMARE’ REBOOT

Thursday, April 23 by

The other week, we spent a whole feature speculating which actress would/should take over the role of heroine Nancy Thompson in Platinum Dunes and Sam Bayer's A Nightmare on Elm Street remake.  Well, now Bloodydisgusting reports that actress Rooney Mara is in negotiations to do just that.Judging by Mara's credits, which include a couple episodes of "E.R." and the upcoming Youth in Revolt with Michael Cera, the negotiations probably involved Platinum Dunes calling up Mara's representation, Mara's representation calling Mara into a meeting to tell her, Mara hesitating for a nanosecond to take in what this will mean for her career, Mara's representation slapping Mara hard across the face (probably back-handed for emphasis), and then Mara taking the gig and agreeing to also schlep coffee and wax the producer's car when she's not shooting a scene – SAG rules be damned. 

Hey You Guuyysss!! Morning News

Thursday, April 23 by

Corey Feldman spilled the beans on his blog yesterday about Empire Magazine's Goonies reunion interview and photo-shoot. He noted that the entire cast and Richard Donner and Steven Spielberg were on-hand to reminisce about the classic film. That must have been an awkward room.   COREY: Hi Steven! SPEILBERG: Oh, hi Corey… how's things? COREY: Good, you know. Working on my music. That kinda thing. Still acting though. Still into that. SPEILBERG: Oh… Yeah… That's pretty cool. COREY: How about you? Got anything coming up? Maybe you could find me a rol– SPEILBERG: Hey Corey. Sorry. I've been ignoring Chunk all night. Let me just pop over and say hi to him. COREY: Oh. Yeah. Sure. Totally. Say hi to Chunk. We'll catch up later.   (notices Richard Donner a few feet away.)   COREY: Oh. Hey Richard! Here's the rest of your morning news… Spiderman 4 in 3D. Wow! It's like Kirsten Dunst's teeth are really poking out at you. (/film)   Kate Mara joins Iron Man 2. (Empire) Rooney Mara joins A Nightmare On Elm Street. (Bloody Disgusting) Billy Bob Thornton calls bloggers humpbacked geeks. Hey!!!! (Film Drunk)  New live-action Ninja Turtle movie on the way. (Latino Review)

Scrubs Recap: My Cuz

Wednesday, April 22 by

J.D. struggles with the realities of being a part time father when he learns that Kim is now dating Sean, Elliot’s ex-boyfriend.  Meanwhile, Turk busts some balls to get promoted to the position of Chief of Surgery. Car SexElliot and J.D. are in the car on the way to Kim’s house to drop off Sam.  Kim answers the door and adjusts J.D.’s collar.  On the way home Elliot makes J.D. pull over for car sex so she can mark her territory.  Elliot's possessive nature forces her to get intimate with J.D. if Kim so much as touches him.  J.D. has found a way to make this work to his advantage.  The next time he drops Sam off, he places a piece of fuzz in his own hair so that Kim will reach into it and pluck the fuzz, sending Elliot into a frenzy.  Before leaving for car sex, Kim introduces her new boyfriend, Sean, who is Elliot’s ex and J.D.’s arch-nemesis. Making It Happen

OBSESSED WITH ALI LARTER

Wednesday, April 22 by

This Friday, Obsessed opens in theaters.  If you aren't aware, it's basically a reimagining of Fatal Attraction, only the filmmakers replaced Michael Douglas and Anne Archer with 'The Wire' & 'The Office's Idris Elba and Beyoncé Knowles, thereby creating the setup for 1000 standup jokes about how 'that white bitch Glenn Close' would never 'have f*cked with Beyoncé.'  Obsessed also stars Ali Larter in the Glenn Close role, and judging by the trailer, I bet Ali's jaw is still sore from all the scenery she chewed while making the film.  Check out the photos of Ali after the jump:

HIT GIRL: THE BARELY LEGAL ASSASSIN

Wednesday, April 22 by

The above pic is of actress Chloe Moretz as Hit Girl/Mindy Macready in Mathew Vaughn's Kick-Ass.  Read more on her developments at FilmofiliaToday's Links:We Want The Old Wayans Brothers (FilmDrunk)The Best Public Access Video Ever! (Manofest)What's The Worst Sequel Ever? (Pajiba)Markesa's Hot Spank Bank (GorillaMask)Pre-Interview Tony Danza (IAmBored)6 Awesome Villain Lairs (Cracked)New Motion Picture Purgatory (DreadCentral)Action Figures We Can Relate To (Holytaco)Catrinel Menghia Is HOT (BustedCoverage)Lisa Rinna Is Still Smoking (Uncoached)Kings Gets Booted To Summer (Unreality)Are Rock Music Doc's Dying? (ThePlaylist)Gom Totemeal (TomOatmeal)Awesome Spin Kick KO (NothingToxic)

Wednesday TV Preview

Wednesday, April 22 by

The incredible turn around South Park has in commenting on current issues continues with Cartman deciding to take up the life of a pirate, as  'Captain Fatbeard'. Also, instead of a new Lost, ABC is running a retrospective giving us viewers a bit of break and a little explanation. Yarrrrrr preview after the break.

WHAT NATURAL DISASTER MOVIES TEACH US

Wednesday, April 22 by

Hollywood has always made itself feel better by producing films with an environmental message.  But generally, behind the wafer-thin veil of humanitarian morality play is a big-budget special effects and explosions.  Or sometimes it’s just Kevin Costner.  Still, many of Hollywood’s “cautionary” Natural Disaster Movies have given us some great dialogue and exchanges that will stand the test of time, and keep teaching our children’s children’s children important lessons until the ozone layer depletes and they are incinerated like ants under a massive magnifying glass.  *cockroaches rejoice in a long-awaited victory* Here are some of those great pieces of Natural Disaster film dialogue, and what we can learn from them:  

Mary Lynn Rajskub From ’24′ Makes Jokes At the Expense of a Dying Earth

Wednesday, April 22 by

Check out this heartfelt promo that ran on Fox featuring Mary Lynn Rajskub from 24 reminding us all that going green is a group effort. GO GREEN WITH GIRL FROM 24 – Watch more Funny VideosI hope that Mary's 24 residuals are enough to cover her food, water and utilities in the cave she'll be hiding in for the next ten years so that angry Greenpeace types don't find her and strap her to a Killer Whale.  Yes, that is precisely how Greenpeace exacts their revenge upon public figures like Mary, who've obviously been contractually forced to participate in these sorts of misfires, well meaning as they may be. That's why Greenpeace's slogan is "No mercy."

‘THE HURT LOCKER’ TRAILER

Wednesday, April 22 by

NISPEL’S EQUATION: ‘CRANK’ + ‘TAKEN’ = PACEMAKER

Wednesday, April 22 by

According to Production Weekly, Marcus Nispel, director of both the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Friday the 13th remakes, is attached to direct Pacemaker, written by Lars Jacobsen.  Jacobsen's only other credits are as writer/director/producer of Baby Blues, a psychological thriller about post-mortem depression, and as writer of C.O.D., in development at Dreamworks.  Pacemaker is described as "Crank meets Taken," which unfortunately results in the portmanteau Tank.  Also, with a name like Pacemaker, it conjures up a "Crank meets Cocoon" pitch line.  What?  You'd see that?  And you'd like to see the promotional one-sheet?  Right now?  In the room?  So glad you asked…

‘FIGHTING’ OPENS FRIDAY; WIN TIX TO ‘UFC 98′

Wednesday, April 22 by

This Friday, April 24th, you can catch Terrence Howard and Channing Tatum hustling and busting heads (respectively – Howard's a lover, not a fighter) in the aptly named Fighting, directed by Dito Montiel, who helmed the underrated A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints.  Check out the trailer. Fighting Trailer – Watch more Movie TrailersAlso, if you head to Break.com and Cage Potato's fancy Fighting page, you can watch some bloody, badass underground MMA videos and WIN A CHANCE TO ATTEND U.F.C. 98!  I, like Howard, am a lover and not a fighter, so I will only be watching on the TV, so as to avert my eyes from the violence in private.  I am also like Howard in that I will not be playing War Machine in Iron Man 2. 

Fighting

Wednesday, April 22 by

Director: Dito Montiel Cast: Channing Tatum, Terrence Howard, Cung Le, Luis Guzmán, Zulay Henao Synopsis: In New York City, a young counterfeiter (Tatum) is introduced to the world of underground street fighting by a seasoned scam artist (Howard), who becomes his manager on the bare-knuckling brawling circuit. Genre: Drama Release Date: April 24, 2009

Morning News Got Game

Wednesday, April 22 by

The Controller tells the riveting tale of a video game CEO who must save his wife from kidnappers. How must he save her, you ask? By playing XBox Live of course. Finally a movie that DARES to capture all of the exhilaration of watching somebody else play video games. I've posted the "exciting" trailer below. The special effects in this movie are anything but. I can't tell if they are supposed to be finalized graphics or a work print of Iron Man 2. More morning news… Andy Samberg is a penis baby in this chuckle-inducing Movie Awards promo. (MTV)Movie Star Death Tolls (Premiere) Hugh Jackman vandalizes sidewalk. (Reuters) Jason Statham is the new Charles Bronson. (/film)Dimension picks up hot college girl script. (Empire)Funny People photos and interview reveal fat guy on a tiny bike. (Playlist) 

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