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ELMO LOVE THURSDAY NIGHT LINK DUMP!

Thursday, March 12 by

Do Not Talk About Retarded Fight Club (Film Drunk)Hottest TV Cops of All Time (Pajiba)Flow Chart of a Dog's Mind (Holy Taco)Siouxsie R should be Rated X.  (Gorilla Mask)Ricky Gervais + Elmo on Sesame Street (I-Am-Bored)IFC Horror Films Blowout!!! (Dread Central)

RAQUEL ALESSI: MISS MARCH

Thursday, March 12 by

This Friday, you can see starlet Raquel Alessi in her first big role as the titular character in Miss March.  Actually, her character's name is officially Cindi Whitehall, but I just wanted to write titular not only because it's a perfectly appropriate word choice, but also because I'm feeling like an 8-year-old today.  Boobies.Check out a tasteful spread of Miss March herself after the jump.

30 Rock Recap: The FunCooker

Thursday, March 12 by

This week’s episode opens with our star, Liz Lemon, carrying an armload of packages to the 30 Rock building. Kenneth offers to help her with the packages, and she confides in Kenneth that she is starting fresh. She bought all the fixings necessary to get her life in order. Suddenly, she gets hit by a biker. She now knows this will be the worst day of her life. Liz comes into the studio, distressed. She calls the morning meeting and asks everyone to ‘be cool’ for the day–she doesn’t want any problems. Frank comes out of his office with no pants on, and Liz reprimands him. Liz’s assistant Cerie informs Liz she has jury duty. This day is definitely going to blow.

Thursday TV Preview

Thursday, March 12 by

Another highly dependable Thursday night of TV for you. New episodes of The Office and 30 Rock, whilst the best buddy cop movie of all time screens for you to switch back and forth during commericals. On that note, here's some completely arbitrary information–did you know they used the f-word exactly 48 times in that movie? Your much more useful TV preview after the break.

DATES SET FOR 4 MARVEL FLICKS

Thursday, March 12 by

Marvel has announced the release dates for four – count em' – four upcoming films, including Thor, Spider-Man 4, The First Avenger: Captain America and the mega-super-ensemble The Avengers. See how it's shaping up after the jump…

TEMP: THURSDAY LINK DUMP

Thursday, March 12 by

http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=38676

SOUTH PARK: KENNY’S QUEST

Thursday, March 12 by

Kenny has a girlfriend! Much to the chagrin of his pals, who, when they discover that she's a slut who gave a boy a blowjob in the parking lot of a TGIFridays, warn him of the dangerous diseases, like syphillis, that you can catch from that most vile repository of filth: an American woman's mouth.  Kenny is undeterred, though, and plans to use the "tingly" feeling the Jonas Brothers ignite in her to get his way. Only one problem. The Jonas Brother's new fad? Purity rings. It's the new season of South Park!!! Episode 1: The RingFull Episode Online: TV Dome

FAST & FURIOUS – EXCLUSIVE CLIP!

Thursday, March 12 by

What happens when Vin Diesel, Paul Walker and new hard-driving FF villain "Fenix" race against the clock in a secret tunnel underground?  A whole lotta burnt rubber, scratched paint and the occasional wrecked ride.  See for yourself in this brand new clip from the upcoming Fast & Furious – a Break Media exclusive! I had the chance to see a preview of the film, and while this clip lives up to the testosterone-fueled racing of the past films, it's just the tip of the dipstick for the amount of road rage Fast & Furious has to unleash on audiences. Other Junk You Might Like:

MORNING NEWS ROUNDUP

Thursday, March 12 by

According to Variety, Sylvester Stallone's The Expendables cast just expanded by two more: WWE's Stone Cold Steve Austin and Charisma Carpenter, of TV's Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, and CSI.  Looks like Stallone's taking a lotta names, but will the film also kick ass?  And the biggest question still remains… will Ahnold be the icing on this explosives-laced cake?And here is the rest of your morning news:Orphanage director finds home at Summit (Variety)Joaquin Phoenix goes Axl Rose at nightclub (FilmDrunk)Jeff Goldblum joins insemination comedy The Baster (Coming Soon)

SCARLETT JOHANNSON IS A WIDOW

Wednesday, March 11 by

HollywoodDeadline's Nikki Finke reported earlier today that Mickey Rourke is, in fact, joining the cast of Iron Man 2 as a villain.  But now Finke follows up with the very surprising news that Black Widow will now be played by Scarlett Johannson, not Emily Blunt, as thought before.

LESBIAN VAMPIRE KILLER LINKS N’ MORE

Wednesday, March 11 by

Holy Lesbian Vampire Killers Posters! (Dread Central)Charley is a cat.  He is retarded.  He has a movie. (FilmDrunk)The Worst Movie of the 'Aughts Goes To… (Pajiba)Ascend to the top of the Work Pyramid (Holy Taco)Missi Casey gets my vote to play any superheroine on film (GorillaMask)Ridley Scott's Robin Hood gets its release date (ComingSoon.Net)

DRAG ME TO HELL TRAILER!

Wednesday, March 11 by

This trailer is CUUUUUURSED!  And in this case, it's a good thing.  I have to say, this actually looks pretty damn good, and it's not just because I'm deep into Bruce Campbell's autobiography, If Chins Could Kill, which recounts Raimi's Evil Dead glory days in sordidly beautiful and beautifully sordid detail.Hopefully no Saturday Night Fever tributes in this one.  I'm talking to YOU, Spider-Man. 

Drag Me to Hell

Wednesday, March 11 by

Director: Sam Raimi Cast: Justin Long, Alison Lohman, Jessica Lucas, David Paymer, Reggie Lee Synopsis: A loan officer (Lohman) ordered to evict an old woman from her home finds herself the recipient of a supernatural curse, who turns her life into a living hell. Genre: Horror Release Date: May 29, 2009

12 BEST 80s THEME SONGS TO LIVE BY

Wednesday, March 11 by

You know, watching today's TV sitcoms just ain't the same as twenty years ago.  Don't get me wrong.  The technology is miles apart.  We have single-camera shows that out-slick their studio-based counterparts, and modernized three- or four-camera studio-based shows that outwit their predecessors.  But there's something sorely missing in our current crop of "laffers."  And that's a great theme song.  Back in the 80s, the theme song meant something.  It was survival of the catchiest.  It had to have a hummable hook.  And more importantly, it had to have lyrics that not only got you singing along, but that taught you a valuable life lesson.  Theme songs were our education away from school, and more than likely, we learn a lot more from some power chords and a so-white-he's-pale singer waxing lyrical than we ever did from our teachers.   And so, it is with great pleasure, that Sceen Junkies presents the Top 12 80s Theme Songs to Live By. #12 FULL HOUSE

Wednesday TV Preview

Wednesday, March 11 by

Give your brain a rest, there's no new Lost tonight. Instead, work out that gut with a tremendous night of gutbustering shows from the good people at Comedy Central. South Park is back in action, kicking off it's lucky 13th season by tearing apart the Jonas Brothers, Demetri Martin explains 'safety,' Paul Rudd guests on Jon Stewart, and Colbert keeps on trying to get his name written on Node 3 of the International Space station. Your preview after the break.

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