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REVIEW: Taken

Friday, January 30 by

 I can get a decent amount done in 96 hours. Maybe make a sandwich, sleep, do some work, watch some movies, argue with my girlfriend, go to the gym. In Taken, Liam Neeson is on the next level of productivity. Here are a few of the things he was able to do in the same time period.  Warning:  there are spoilers.

Super Weekend Movie Preview Bowl

Friday, January 30 by

Ahh yes– Superbowl Sunday. Better eat til you puke, watch crazy ads (Sobe has one in 3D!), and bet lots of money on the only game that matters, EVER. To kill time before that you have a movie with Liam Neeson beating the everloving crap out of Albanian woman-smugglers, and a horror movie with an actress that made a porn with Seth Rogen. Oh yeah, the Boss* is playing the half time show. Your preview, and possibly the best football themed music video ever produced after the jump.

Super Weekend Movie Preview Bowl

Friday, January 30 by

Superbowl Sunday. Quite possibly the best   Taken Taken Trailer – Watch more Movie Trailer   The Uninvited  The Uninvited Trailer – Watch more Entertainment

News Anchors Are Just So Creative

Friday, January 30 by

Everybody's gotta have a viral video these days. I gotta give these two credit for the intricately choreographed little duo dance. I would not have the cranial capacity to remember all the movies. Impressive. Now get back to work.

This Thursday TV Preview Is A Rerun

Thursday, January 29 by

With repeats of 30 Rock and The Office, the final audition round for American Idol, and a Super Bowl Bash, there's nothing too hot on TV to get your panties in a bundle over. That being said, there are always solid movies–so pop up some Redenbacher Indiana Hoosier-berries and watch some Toob. Here are your options.

Banned Ads

Thursday, January 29 by

Cash for gold hilarious ad – Watch more free videosDanica Patrick Go Daddy Beaver Ad

Kid With A Pig Link Rodeo

Thursday, January 29 by

Little Billy spends so much time raising these here prize pigs he can't possibly internet-surf around to get his movie news. That's why he uses screenjunkies.com. Are you a fat kid that raises pigs? Then welcome home. Here are your links, pinkie.  Robert Rodriguez To Catch A Predator, Reboot It (Filmdrunk) Megan Fox Is Laura Croft? No She Isn't (UnrealityMag) Dr. Manhattan: I Can Clearly See Your Nuts (Playlist) Why Would I Use My Penis To Work On Your Car? (Tubefilter) Arrested Development Development No Longer Arrested? (/Film)

Sugar Trailer

Thursday, January 29 by

This one comes from the writer/director or Half Nelson, one of my favorite movies of all time. It could be that I just have a certain empathy for it since I spent many years of my life as a white, crack-addicted male teaching inner-city kids in NY. I miss those days. Hopefully Sugar will be on the level. I don't know much about baseball, but I do have a black friend. Director: Anna BodenCast: Algenis Perez Soto, Richard Bull, Michael Gaston, Ellary Porterfield, Jaime TirelliSynopsis: Inspired by the movie 'Field of Dreams,' a young man from the Dominican Republic heads to Iowa to play minor league baseball.Genre: DramaRelease Date: April 3, 2009

SAL LUPO WILL NOT STOP ASKING QUESTIONS

Thursday, January 29 by

I had to watch this a few times and do some googling around to figure out if it was fake or not. The problem/great part about having cheap, readily available digital technology is that there are plenty of people that think they will somehow convince a director to make their movie, so they make shorts like this. At least it can provide us with some laughs. So here's to all the Sal Lupos out there living the dream.

Desmond’s on a Mission for Daniel

Wednesday, January 28 by

Desmond goes on his quest to find Daniel’s mother, despite Penny’s immense disapproval, while Locke is determined to find Richard in whatever time he’s in.  Sawyer and Juliet have to deal with some hostages, and Faraday, Miles, and Charlotte are captured by members of the same mysterious army Sawyer’s hostages are part of.  Check it out after the jump.

Wednesday Night’s All Right

Wednesday, January 28 by

Did you forget who the hottest babes of 2008 were? It's ok. TV has you covered by rounding up a list of 100 beautiful babies from the year previous. After your eyes have been baraged by boobs, you should probably challenge your brain with the newest episode of Lost. Here's you're lineup. 

LAZIEST REVIEW OF THE MONTH: Underworld 3

Wednesday, January 28 by

I'm not an alcoholic. But sometimes I think that the steady flow of beer and whisky for the past 12 years has washed away a lot of my memories. It doesn't help that we live in a society where we are inundated by media. It's impossible to keep track of everything you've seen, and the similar things tend to get squashed together because your brain needs to create categories to file everything. If we retained the plot points of all the movies we'd seen over our lives we would have to forget other things, like how to boil water or what a transmission is. What I'm saying is that I had seen the two previous Underworld movies but could not, for the life of me, remember what the crap they were about.

Sexy Banned PETA Commercial

Wednesday, January 28 by

Whatever your stance on the treatment of animals or the health benefits of a vegetarian diet may be, we can all come together and agree on one thing: it would just be super to be that pumpkin at the 14 second mark. Or the asparagus at 17 seconds. Or the pumpkin once again at 20 seconds. Man I want to be that pumpkin. It's a shame that NBC has banned this commercial which was supposed to play during the Super Bowl. There are two possibilities. Either the National Cattlemen’s Beef Association has organized a giant consipracy to fight the airing such seditious material, or every single network exec at NBC is gay. Those are your options. You decide.

My Cookie Pants

Wednesday, January 28 by

Dr. Cox is offered a position as Chief of Medicine and Kelso takes a moment from mowing down his muffins to lay out the limited pros and abundant cons of the job.  Elliot looks to Turk for ways in which to make J.D. happy, and J.D. is still hard at work trying to get Joe to be a bit more sensitive. SSDD Dr. Cox and Kelso begin the morning like any other by exchanging some nasty words.  Cox takes a minute to reflect that Sacred Heart has become a captainless ship since Kelso's retirement.  As if to prove this point, the Janitor walks by the two of them, dressed in scrubs and covered in blood.  "That can't be good," Cox mutters.  Kelso confesses that Sacred Heart is in need of a new Chief of Medicine. Cookie pants

My ABCs

Wednesday, January 28 by

Season 8, Episode 155: MY ABCs J.D., Turk, Elliot, and Dr. Cox struggle with their new interns who are taking their first baby steps as doctors. J.D. fantasizes that the halls of Sacred Heart are overrun with Sesame Street characters, who help him to teach his new interns the basics. Kindred spirits Dr. Cox is doing rounds with the interns and is unsurprisingly annoyed by them.  As he grills Katie for giving a wrong answer, Ed–a relaxed, brainy intern–steps in and shows Dr. Cox what he's got.  As it turns out, Ed knows everything and Cox can't stump him. Ed coins the term "Zwah!", which is what you say when you show someone up.  Cox begins to wonder what it is he hates about Ed and calls upon the Janitor for insight, arguing that the Janitor and he are kindred spirits in the sense that they generally hate people.  Kelso proposes that perhaps Cox hates Ed because he really hates himself. Eenie-Meenie

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