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VIGGO MORTENSEN’S PENIS MUST BE HEARD!

Monday, March 30 by

According to MTV's Movie Blog, David Cronenberg is looking to do a sequel to 2007's Eastern Promises.  In the original, Viggo Mortensen played a Russian gangster who was actually a spy for British Intel, and, as much as some may try to forget, many will vividly recall the now-famous scene in which Viggo's character teamed up with his exposed genitalia to battle a would-be assassin in a sauna.  No reports as to whether or not the pair will link up again in the sequel, but speculation has begun… and Screen Junkies has the exclusive comic book adaptation of the speculation.  Click to enlarge. 

R.I.P. BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER’S “LORNE”

Monday, March 30 by

Actor Andy Hallett passes (IGN)ABC's "Ugly Yeti" (Take180) The World's Oldest Stoner (FilmDrunk)Brooke Burke has still got it (Manofest)Wolverine vs. The Comedian (Pajiba)Spank Bank: Natasha Q (Gorilla Mask)Baby Owl Tries To Swallow Rat (I Am Bored)Strangest Sex Objects (Cracked)Scorsese's Shutter Island Teaser (Filmofilia) XXXombies hits the Big Screen? (Dread Central)Win a Date With Tyler (Holy Taco)Nightcapper: Jon Daly needs a Hooters Waitress (Busted Coverage)When Children's Drawings go wrong (Uncoached)The Final Countdoooooown!  (UnrealityMag)Terry Gilliam's Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus update! (The Playlist)Foot Cobbler (Tom Oatmeal)City of God Ain't Got Sh*t on this (Nothing Toxic)Babes of the Ages!  (Chickipedia)

Monday TV Preview

Monday, March 30 by

Further evidence that TV never dissapoints: Tonight's offering includes a Heroes trip to Mexico (Spring Break woooo), a delousing of Jack Bauer (who's now got nothing to lose), and an important history lesson on awesomely brutal Roman war tactics (Caesar-style). Only complaint: not in 3D (3D rocks). Your preview after (the break).

EMILY BROWNING IS SUCKER PUNCH’S NEW “BABY DOLL”

Monday, March 30 by

According to Entertainment Weekly's Hollywood Insider, "Emily Browning (The Uninvited) will replace Amanda Seyfried in Zack Snyder's Sucker Punch for Warner Bros. You may remember Emily as "Violet" in 2004's Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events.  She'll be playing "Baby Doll," an "insane asylum inmate who loses herself in a fantasy world where she dreams about escaping with her fellow inmates."

ALIEN TRESPASS GIVEAWAY!

Monday, March 30 by

WIN A SET OF SIGNED LOBBY CARDS FROM THE FILM!This Friday, Roadside Attractions' Alien Trespass opens.  It stars Eric McCormack, Jenni Baird and Robert Lauria*, and is a loving homage to classic sci-fi filmmaking. Screen Junkies and Roadside Attractions are extending the love to you by GIVING AWAY TWO SETS OF ALIEN TRESPASS LOBBY CARDS.  Each set comes with 8 cards.  One of the sets is signed by Eric McCormack, Jenni Baird, Dan Lauria and director R.W. Goodwin!

ALIEN TRESPASS TRAILER!

Monday, March 30 by

Alien Trespass

Monday, March 30 by

  Director: R.W. Goodwin Cast: Eric McCormack, Jenni Baird, Robert Patrick, Jody Thompson, Dan Lauria Synopsis: Set in 1957, Alien Trespass chronicles a fiery object from outer space that crashes into a mountaintop in the California desert, bringing the threat of disaster to Earth. Out of the flying saucer escapes a murderous creature – the Ghota, which is bent on destroying all life forms on the planet. A benevolent alien from the spaceship, Urp, inhabits the body of Ted Lewis (Eric McCormack) – a local astronomer – and with the help of Tammy (Jenni Baird), a waitress from the local diner, sets out to save mankind. Genre: Sci-Fi & Fantasy Release Date: April 3, 2009

NEW X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE PICS!

Monday, March 30 by

Today, X-Men Films posted eight high-res images from Fox's upcoming X-Men Origins: Wolverine, opening May 1st.  I'm just going to shut up and let you look at the pretty pictures.  See all of the others after the jump.

Eastbound and Down – The Deleted Shower Scene

Monday, March 30 by

Well, it was a short but fun run, that Eastbound & Down.  The ballad of Kenny Powers was pretty much like a three hour-long movie broken up and strung out over six weeks.  And like a good three-hour movie, it's bound to have a deleted scene or two, because anyone who attempts to make a three hour movie realizes at some point they have to cut something.  Also, this is TV, so it has something called a time slot.  Wait.  It's not TV.  It's HBO.  Watch the deleted scene from this not-TV show or else, in the words of Kenny Powers, "You're f**kin' out!"  It's after the jump.

Breaking Bad Recap: Down

Monday, March 30 by

Another week gone by, another meth addled story of lies and close scrapes for our two favorite kingpins. “Hey Captain America”, says a bum to Jesse as he is walking into a convenience store to meet up with Walt. Walt and Jesse decide they are going to have to put cooking on hold for a little bit while Walt’s family gets less suspicious. So Walt tries to be sweet and get on Skyler’s good side. He cooks them breakfast but Skyler is skeptical, as usual.  Next, Walter reps Boz Skaggs as one of the best musicians of all time, maybe he’s been getting high on his own supply. While cleaning up, Walt attempts to cover up the his second cell phone. Skyler, though, is unimpressed and storms out to Walt’s dismay. Meanwhile Jesse’s parents have wised up to his drug trafficking ways. So they decide to evict him from his house which they have the property rights to. Jesse’s got 72 hours to get out. 

WINNER OF SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE CAPTION CONTEST

Monday, March 30 by

 Well, chaiwallahs, the submissions have been collected and the judges have spoken.  The winner of Slumdog Millionaire on DVD or Blu-Ray is the user known as Novakane, whose comment, "The Corn?  I ate it.  Why?"  tickled enough people's funny bones to take the prize.

FNL Recap: A Hard Rain’s Gonna Fall

Monday, March 30 by

Panthers are going to State in ’08! What a magical week it was in Dillon, Texas, for fans of the Blue and Yellow. Emotions ran high because of twists around every bend. Grandma Saracen took a spill out of her car as she was backing out of the driveway and it became clear no amount of personal supervision would protect her from herself. The Garrity family finally broke down after hanging by a thread for so long, and it may or may not recover. That wasn’t the only thing on Buddy’s plate, as the boosters had to contend with a redistricting plan that might dismantle the powerhouse football team in the name of a better education for the children. Landry and the Collettes finally made amends, and it seemed as though the seeds for a Landry-Tyra reunion tour were planted. JD and his father, Joe, went through their growing pains, as JD came into his own and started making decisions for himself. This week was a return to form for Friday Night Lights as a TV show and for the Panthers as a football team, as they survived to fight another day.

Terminator: TSCC Recap: To the Lighthouse

Monday, March 30 by

With the deaths of loved ones behind them, the Connor crew split up.  Sarah and John take refuge with an old friend, while Derek and Cameron take a moment away from each other’s throats and point their guns in the same direction.   Del Monte Sarah packs some bags and thinks back to when John was a child.  His favorite stories were his mother’s jungle stories, particularly the tale of El Viejo Del Monte: Old Man of the Forest.  Del Monte was a hunter condemned to the jungle for all eternity.  As his story goes he would kill every animal he encountered but not to feed on their meat, or warm himself with their furs.  Instead, he would leave his prey to rot.  His lust for blood was his mark, and each carcass he left behind was a lesson to those who crosses it explaining what God had turned Del Monte into: half man, half animal.  Some considered him a protector for he preyed upon predators.  It was his curse to be vigilant forever.  

GEMMA ARTERTON IS A DEMI-GODDESS… AND OTHER NEWS

Monday, March 30 by

 Empire Magazine recently revealed that Bond girl Gemma Arterton will be starring as the demi-goddess Io in Louis Leterrier's remake of Clash of the Titans.  According to Arterton in a follow-up interview, “The script is very different [from the Harry Hamlin original]. Obviously the story is the story, but it’s much more about Perseus’ mission, and how he deals with being the son of Zeus, and things like that, so it feels a little more about him, and about the issues around that.”  Hrmm.  I just want to see more pics of Gemma.  That's why I posted some after the jump.  In the meantime, here's some more morning news!Monsters vs. Aliens demolishes some box office competition, then abducts and anally probes the rest (CINEMATICAL)Bruno Slammed with NC-17 Rating (THE PLAYLIST)Creepy pic from Halloween 2 surfaces… (DREAD CENTRAL)Fox sets summer TV slate.  Yay.  More dancing… (VARIETY)Extended Star Trek TV spot airs (LATINO REVIEW)GI Joe and Terminator Salvation Video Game Footage unveiled (/FILM)New Sherlock Holmes Poster Will Smoke You (PAJIBA)

EMMA STONE IS “EASY”

Sunday, March 29 by

According to Variety, Emma Stone of Superbad and (less so) House Bunny fame is looking to get a little naughty in her next role. The comedy entitled "Easy A" is a modern, high school-set retelling of Nathaniel Hawthorne's "The Scarlet Letter." Stone will play a student who sees her life paralleling Hawthorne's heroine Hester Prynne after she pretends to be the school slut in hopes she'll benefit from the notion she's promiscuous.  I've never known anyone who hasn't benefited from loose sexual morals, especially in high school, but something tells me this movie is going to stress the counter-point. I guess I can't really blame the studio execs for choosing the high-ground, even though  a herpes epidemic would be one hell of a marketing campaign. Now that's exposure money can't buy! (Rimshot!)     Check out some photos of Emma after the jump. 

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