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TED NUGENT WILL HUNT PEOPLE FOR BASIC CABLE MONEY… AND OTHER NEWS

Thursday, April 2 by

According to Variety: "CMT has ordered eight episodes of "Runnin' Wild …From Ted Nugent," a reality-competition series that will feature the right-wing rock star and hunting advocate teaching contestants how to survive in the wild, then chasing after them along with his 18-year-old son, Rocco." My hope above all hopes is that Nugent's 18-year-old son, Rocco will be played by Gary Busey in short pants, and that the first victim will be Ice-T dressed a little something like the Predator.  Here's a small taste of what I'm talking about.  Just pretend Rutger Hauer is Nugent: Other news after the jump…

Men Farting, Women Queefing

Wednesday, April 1 by

A new fad engulfs the town of South Park – queefing. All the men are disgusted and outraged and say that queefing is not the same at all as farting, which of course they do all the time. The new fad is prompted by a TV show called "The Queef Sisters" that gets Terrance and Phillip off the air.  T&P aren't too pleased about this, and vow to do something about, but they end up finding the Queef Sisters much more charming than they had anticipated. It's a funny if a bit sub-par South Park this week, and it's after the jump.

Mommy Kate

Wednesday, April 1 by

Ben is in critical condition from the gunshot wound as everybody in the village runs in circles trying to figure out how to save him, save for one very stubborn doctor.  We also get some Kate flashbacks in this episode, where we find out exactly what happened with her and Aaron.  It’s all in this week’s Lost, after the jump.

THIS TRAILER WILL ROCK YOUR FACE OFF AND THEN APOLOGIZE BECAUSE IT’S CANADIAN

Wednesday, April 1 by

ANVIL! The Story of Anvil! rocked the crowds at Sundance, and now is making its way to a theater near you on April 10th.  Check out the trailer after the jump.  You will laugh.  You will cry.  You will rock.  And then you will cry harder at the end of the trailer when the string orchestra music comes in and you realize how much these dudes got a raw deal.  These guys could have had only the finest European prostitutes snorting cocaine off their boners, and now… they're riding coach. Also, there's a shot of this dude from Anvil biting his guitar during a set and it looks kind of dangerous, so you should watch it.

ZACK SNYDER’S APRIL LINK DUMP FOR FOOLS

Wednesday, April 1 by

Snyder To Direct Next Star Wars Project? (Filmofilia)Awesome Bad Movie: Biohazard (FilmDrunk)Love N' Licks Are Terrifying (Manofest)Watch Wolverine Free Of Charge If You're a Douchebag (Pajiba)Debra A Is for Ass (GorillaMask)Chewbacca On Guitar? (IAmBored)Dangerous Child Prodigies (Cracked)More On Clash Of The Titans (DreadCentral)Pornography: A Timeline (Holytaco)Maria Swan's Rack (BustedCoverage)Denise Milani Goes Topless! (Uncoached)Legend Of Zelda Movie Trailer: April Fools? (Unreality)Ring Ring Phone Call! (TomOatmeal)How NOT To Transport An Air Conditioner (NothingToxic)The Hottest Women In The World (Chickipedia)

DANGER: HIGH TRAVOLTAGE! “TAKING OF PELHAM 1 2 3″ TRAILER

Wednesday, April 1 by

The new Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 trailer went up today on Myspace, and it's got enough Travolta-on-Denzel action to make Oprah's live audience collectively explode from a freak mass orgasm.  The film is slated for a June 12th, 2009.  Gentlemen, lock up your wives and girlfriends lest they stampede children on the way to the theater. Check out the clip after the jump to see what we're up against. 

April Fools TV Preview

Wednesday, April 1 by

Tonight's schedule is playing no jokes on you, just a slightly more foolish 'hump day' with another treatment of Lost, a shot of Scrubs, and a promise from South Park to cross the line yet again. Reno 911! also premieres with some fresh faces and probably an ample amount of short shorts. Your preview after the break.

CELEBRITY TWEETS STRIP MAGIC FROM MOVIES & TV

Wednesday, April 1 by

The Hollywood reporter posted an article about Twitter going Hollywood, with stars and behind-the-scenes talent starting to constantly update their Twitter accounts, giving us movie fans unprecedented access into the inner workings of filmmaking – no matter how mundane the details.  Ashton Kutcher was reported to have tweeted about the pitfalls of his stunt double showing up to set with a shaved chest.  Iron Man 2 director Jon Favreau posted the following last month: "Directing is about waking up every night at 4 a.m., exhausted, and not being able to fall back asleep because your brain is screaming at you."  Directing sounds a lot like editing a blog.  The brain part sounds a lot like my self-loathing, which, incidentally looks a lot like Danny Devito, for whatever reason.  But I would argue all this tweeting strips away the artifice that makes movies fun in the first place. 

OBAMA “TRANSFORMS” WAR IN AFGHANISTAN

Wednesday, April 1 by

WASHINGTON – President Barack Obama on Wednesday, April 1st backed down from his initial order of 4,000 more military troops in Afghanistan, vowing instead to “still disrupt, dismantle and defeat”…

GUESS WHICH APRIL FOOLS NEWS IS FAKE. OR NOT.

Wednesday, April 1 by

April Fool's Day is a boon for movie sites, since we thrive so much on rumors anyway.  To me, a great April Fool's joke is one where no one gets hurt, and you don't have to say "April Fools!" at any point in the execution, because it's obvious by the end of it.  Sort of like the entire run of Saved By the Bell: The College Years, which was so good, it debuted in September or something (don't quote me on that).  Nonetheless, movie sites try their darnedest to find a great setup for a rug pull.  Here are a couple noble efforts, followed by some real news, done by real, hard hitting journalists who ask the tough questions rather than just make up answers willy-nilly.  You know who I'm talking about, Variety.  Iron Man 2 Title Worse Than Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark (Cinematical) Matrix Series Gets Fourth Film (/Film)Okay enough of the fakery… everything else is REAL. Del Toro's Mimic Gets Special Edition DVD (Twitch)Myspace launches first game show with "BFF" (Variety)60 Robots in Transformers 2 (AICN)Will Arnett & Michael Shannon join cast of Jonah Hex (ComingSoon)Kevin Spacey is the Father of Invention (Empire)

“THE HANGOVER” TRAILER IS STILL FUNNY

Tuesday, March 31 by

Zach Galifianakis is still the funniest comedian I've ever seen live.  Ed Helms is still the funniest part about NBC's The Office.  And Bradley Cooper is still the funniest actor to make out with Michael Ian Black in Wet Hot American Summer.  All three guys star in The Hangover, the trailer for which has been out a little while, but we hadn't posted it yet.  I'm hoping this movie gives both Mike Tyson and Phil Collins' "No Jacket Required" album the comeback both parties deserve.  The fact that they're working together toward that cause is what Sting was singing about on "Synchronicity."  Or is that serendipity?  Or synergy?  Just watch the trailer after the jump and laugh.

YOU COULD CHOKE AN EWOK WITH THESE LINKS

Tuesday, March 31 by

 101 Hot Slave Princess Leia Photos (Manofest) You will respect Miley Cyrus as an actress, dammit (Pajiba)Exotic Cars At Redmond Town Center (CarDomain)Diora Baird Is A Hot Slave Girl (FilmDrunk)Sindi Bertheron's Spank Bank (GorillaMask)Man Drunk Drives On Barstool (IAmBored)7 Badass Cartoon Villains Who Lost To Retarded Heroes (Cracked)New Terminator: Salvation Pics! (Filmofilia)Eve Is Such A Tease (DreadCentral)The Worst Homemade Star Wars Costumes (Holytaco)Playboy Decorates For Virginia Girls (BustedCoverage)Sexy Natalia Solloum Gallery (Uncoached)If Pac-Man Obeyed The Laws Of Physics (Unreality)Groundhog Day – A Musical? (ThePlaylist)

MUTANT CHRONICLES SWEEPSTAKES!

Tuesday, March 31 by

MUTANT CHRONICLES starring Thomas Jane, Ron Perlman and MALKOVICH (!!!) is now available on HDNet Ultra VOD and opens in theaters on Friday, April 24. To celebrate, Magnet Releasing and Pressman Films is offering the Ultimate Mutant Chronicles Prize Giveaway! One lucky grand prize winner will receive: – An invitation (plus guest) to the LA premiere and after-party (transportation/hotel/expenses not included) – Autographed MUTANT CHRONICLES poster – MUTANT CHRONICLES Miniature Game Starter Set – MUTANT CHRONICLES Personalized Collectible Dog Tag – Your name to appear within end card on the MUTANT CHRONICLES DVD as a grand prize (subject to manufacturing schedule)    25 additional winners will receive: – Official MUTANT CHRONICLES Poster – MUTANT CHRONICLES Miniature – MUTANT CHRONICLES Personalized Collectible Dog Tag – Your name to appear within end card on the MUTANT CHRONICLES DVD (subject to manufacturing schedule) See how to enter – and some other MC goodies -  after the jump!

The Mutant Chronicles

Tuesday, March 31 by

Director: Simon HunterCast: Thomas Jane, Ron Perlman, Devon Aoki, John Malkovitch

ESPN Teams With Top Filmmakers on “30 for 30″

Tuesday, March 31 by

Via The Playlist, Screen Junkies caught wind of ESPN's announcement that it will launch a program in the Fall called "30 for 30," a weekly hour-long series pairing famous filmmakers with sports subjects they care about.  We can expect to see Barry Levinson cover the 1984 defection of the Baltimore Colts to Indy, and a Maysles' Bros. film about Muhammed Ali vs. Larry Holmes in '80, among others.  Not all have been announced (including the subjects of films from Spike Lee and Richard Linklater), but ScreenJunkies wondered where this series could go…

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