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Friday the 13th Weekend TV Preview

Friday, March 13 by

It's the 13th, it's Friday, and the moon is 91% full…Things gonna happen extra weird for you today, what with it being the second freaky friday in a row. Watch out!–dogs will be able to jump extra high, babies will stare at you, and your bike just might blow up if you try riding it.  Luckily for you, TV laughs defiantly in the wretched face of superstition, offering a no-nonsense weekend of black cat bootin,' astrology free programming of superb (and almost over!) Sci-Fi drama, robots, football, and a little methamphetamine. Take charge of your destiny this Friday the 13th, by staying the hell inside! Your preview after the break.

10 HOTTEST PLAYBOY GIRLS ON FILM

Friday, March 13 by

Fox's Searchlight's Miss March opens today, and in its honor, Screen Junkies decided to post a list of our favorite Playboy girls who've graced the silver screen – and many, many times more on home video.  The rules were simple:  If you posed for Playboy first and then in a film, congrats.  You're SAG-eligible and now therefore eligible for our list.  (Maybe SAG is the wrong acronym, here).  On the flip side, if you were already an actress and then felt compelled to see yourself naked in print, then you're also up for our top ten.And if you're Kim Kardashian, well, somehow, you ended up in a movie (albeit Disaster Movie).  We'll throw you a bone.  Drumroll please…#10 SARA JEAN UNDERWOOD

INDIANA JONES & THE INAPPROPRIATE TOUCHING

Friday, March 13 by

This morning, Cinematical gave us some telling tidbits from that downloadable Indiana Jones transcript we linked to a few days back.  Apparently there was a pretty glaring section dealing with the original intent of Marion and Indy's relationship that isn't quite the squeaky clean serial fun that we remember Raiders of the Lost Ark having.  Start running a hot shower because when you finish reading this, you'll want to stand under it fully clothed.Here's a segment from the transcribed conversation:George Lucas: I was thinking that this old guy could have been his mentor. He could have known this little girl when she was just a kid. Had an affair with her when she was eleven. Lawrence Kasdan: And he was forty-two. 

MORNING NEWS ROUNDUP

Friday, March 13 by

This morning, The Hollywood Reporter tells us that the classic Stephen King story, It, will be making a leap to the big screen.  The 1990 TV movie adaptation was probably the best TV movie ever made (next to anything Meredith Baxter Birney puts out), and scared the ever loving crap out of me.  I can only imagine what a rated R film could do – but I always knew Pennywise the Clown would be back for me now that I'm an adult.  Dave Kajganich (The Invasion) is set to write the script for Warner Bros.  And now for some news that doesn't summon dark memories from my childhood:Jonah Hill to scribe 21 Jump Street for big screen.  (Film Drunk)Pics from Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland (ComingSoon.Net)Stimulus Package Movie Night (Film.com)SXSW Update: Troll 2 Gets Its own documentary! (Aint It Cool)

Michael Wonka and the Paper Factory

Friday, March 13 by

Michael has another one of his brilliant ideas, this one involving sending out five golden tickets randomly to their clients, entitling the finder to 10% off their paper for that fiscal year. Unfortunately, he hides all of them in one shipment, so one company gets 50% off, as Michael wisely failed to include "limit one per customer" on any of the tickets. He must figure out a way to pin the blame on somebody else before a pissed off David Wallace shows up, and you can find out exactly how in this week's Office, right ater the jump.

DOES MARVEL STUDIOS HAVE A DEEP THROAT?

Thursday, March 12 by

Ain't It Cool just broke a story this evening with insider information on some of the upcoming Marvel Studios releases whose release dates that Screen Junkies covered this morning.  It seems as though there's a spy among the True Believers at Marvel, and this "Fuzzy Dunlop" has given us some very interesting tidbits on casting, directors and those Fox remakes of Fan 4 and Daredevil we keep hearing about.  Boiled down bullet points after the jump.

ELMO LOVE THURSDAY NIGHT LINK DUMP!

Thursday, March 12 by

Do Not Talk About Retarded Fight Club (Film Drunk)Hottest TV Cops of All Time (Pajiba)Flow Chart of a Dog's Mind (Holy Taco)Siouxsie R should be Rated X.  (Gorilla Mask)Ricky Gervais + Elmo on Sesame Street (I-Am-Bored)IFC Horror Films Blowout!!! (Dread Central)

RAQUEL ALESSI: MISS MARCH

Thursday, March 12 by

This Friday, you can see starlet Raquel Alessi in her first big role as the titular character in Miss March.  Actually, her character's name is officially Cindi Whitehall, but I just wanted to write titular not only because it's a perfectly appropriate word choice, but also because I'm feeling like an 8-year-old today.  Boobies.Check out a tasteful spread of Miss March herself after the jump.

30 Rock Recap: The FunCooker

Thursday, March 12 by

This week’s episode opens with our star, Liz Lemon, carrying an armload of packages to the 30 Rock building. Kenneth offers to help her with the packages, and she confides in Kenneth that she is starting fresh. She bought all the fixings necessary to get her life in order. Suddenly, she gets hit by a biker. She now knows this will be the worst day of her life. Liz comes into the studio, distressed. She calls the morning meeting and asks everyone to ‘be cool’ for the day–she doesn’t want any problems. Frank comes out of his office with no pants on, and Liz reprimands him. Liz’s assistant Cerie informs Liz she has jury duty. This day is definitely going to blow.

Thursday TV Preview

Thursday, March 12 by

Another highly dependable Thursday night of TV for you. New episodes of The Office and 30 Rock, whilst the best buddy cop movie of all time screens for you to switch back and forth during commericals. On that note, here's some completely arbitrary information–did you know they used the f-word exactly 48 times in that movie? Your much more useful TV preview after the break.

DATES SET FOR 4 MARVEL FLICKS

Thursday, March 12 by

Marvel has announced the release dates for four – count em' – four upcoming films, including Thor, Spider-Man 4, The First Avenger: Captain America and the mega-super-ensemble The Avengers. See how it's shaping up after the jump…

TEMP: THURSDAY LINK DUMP

Thursday, March 12 by

http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=38676

SOUTH PARK: KENNY’S QUEST

Thursday, March 12 by

Kenny has a girlfriend! Much to the chagrin of his pals, who, when they discover that she's a slut who gave a boy a blowjob in the parking lot of a TGIFridays, warn him of the dangerous diseases, like syphillis, that you can catch from that most vile repository of filth: an American woman's mouth.  Kenny is undeterred, though, and plans to use the "tingly" feeling the Jonas Brothers ignite in her to get his way. Only one problem. The Jonas Brother's new fad? Purity rings. It's the new season of South Park!!! Episode 1: The RingFull Episode Online: TV Dome

FAST & FURIOUS – EXCLUSIVE CLIP!

Thursday, March 12 by

What happens when Vin Diesel, Paul Walker and new hard-driving FF villain "Fenix" race against the clock in a secret tunnel underground?  A whole lotta burnt rubber, scratched paint and the occasional wrecked ride.  See for yourself in this brand new clip from the upcoming Fast & Furious – a Break Media exclusive! I had the chance to see a preview of the film, and while this clip lives up to the testosterone-fueled racing of the past films, it's just the tip of the dipstick for the amount of road rage Fast & Furious has to unleash on audiences. Other Junk You Might Like:

MORNING NEWS ROUNDUP

Thursday, March 12 by

According to Variety, Sylvester Stallone's The Expendables cast just expanded by two more: WWE's Stone Cold Steve Austin and Charisma Carpenter, of TV's Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, and CSI.  Looks like Stallone's taking a lotta names, but will the film also kick ass?  And the biggest question still remains… will Ahnold be the icing on this explosives-laced cake?And here is the rest of your morning news:Orphanage director finds home at Summit (Variety)Joaquin Phoenix goes Axl Rose at nightclub (FilmDrunk)Jeff Goldblum joins insemination comedy The Baster (Coming Soon)

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